Prologue Buck looked at the flames that licked at the sticks as he tried to burn off the chill that had surrounded him following his dream. It had begun simply enough, he'd known it was a dream all along; the ring of fire was burning bright even though it was a warm night. He couldn't shake the chill; even after adding a few more sticks to the flames. The others were going to awaken and wonder what was wrong. Buck decided to try and walk off the feeling. His dream began simply enough, everyone was in their bunks and talking a bit before finally drifting off to sleep. He heard the whispered caresses of Lou and Kid and felt a bit jealous, so he turned his head to find something to focus on. This is what finally showed him that this was a dream, as he looked off to the side he saw Ike in his bunk already asleep. He decided to go along with the dream and since Ike was asleep and not the main point of the dream he turned back towards Lou and Kid and watched them out of the corner of his eye. He let his mind wander around their sounds and his body began to respond to the stimuli. If the dream had simply followed this line, things would have been fine - he wouldn't be sitting here chilled and confused. Instead, the dream took a strange turn. Now, try as he might, Buck couldn't get rid of the feelings that the dream had left him with. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her, close enough for him to reach out and touch. He didn't remember when in the dream he'd first noticed that she was watching him. He vividly remembered letting his body respond to the sounds of their "dancing" and closing his eyes as he listened. When he opened his eyes, she was still entwined with Kid, but she was watching him. Watching him and smiling... "It was only a dream. What are you so upset about?" A voice in his head asked. "Just go back to sleep." "Buck, what are you wanderin' around in the dark for?" Lou's voice behind him made him jump out of his skin. Buck took a deep breath to steady his nerves before answering. "I couldn't sleep," he finally managed to say. As he took a seat near the fire, he watched the flames of the fire before him start to dwindle. He hoped Lou couldn't see him any better than he could her; his body still hadn't recovered from the dream. Lou picked up a few twigs and threw them onto the fire as she settled in beside him. "Something I can help with?" she asked with a smile, as she placed her hand on his knee. Buck stared at her small hand on his knee. He could feel the warmth of her touch through the fabric of his long johns. When he looked back into her eyes, she was still smiling. "What's the matter?" she asked, her brow now knitting with concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost for heaven's sake...did you have a bad dream?" Lou raised her eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. Buck imagined that he could see her eyes twinkle in the dim light. No longer trusting his voice, Buck simply nodded. He moved just enough to cause Lou's hand to drop from his knee. "Want to talk about it?" Lou asked as she moved near the fire's dwindling flames - and Buck. He shook his head, deciding that this was worse than the dream. As he looked into Lou's eyes, all the feelings that he had worked so hard to bury surfaced with a vengeance. "Tell me Buck, what was the dream about?" Lou pressed. Buck shook his head; he needed to get away from her before he did something he would regret. He stood abruptly and moved back toward his bedroll. As he took his first step, something caught his foot and he fell to the ground. The next thing he knew, she was kneeling beside him stroking his face. "Are you alright?" she asked, her voice filled with concern. Buck simply nodded as he glanced past Lou's shoulder to see the walls of the bunkhouse. "What happened?" he finally managed to ask. "You fell out of bed," she replied, as she again stroked the side of his face. "Looks like you hit your head pretty hard," she whispered as she leaned forward and kissed a bump on his forehead. When she moved to kiss him on the lips, Buck grabbed her by the shoulders. "STOP!" he yelled. He woke up with a start and found himself sitting straight up in bed. "Geez Buck, keep it down would ya? I got a run first thing in the morning," Cody complained. "You alright?" Lou asked sleepily from her bunk. "Yeah. Sorry," Buck answered, still trying to get his breathing under control. Unable to calm himself while lying in bed, Buck got up and quietly made his way outside. Once there he sat on the porch and studied the stars. He needed to figure out what was going on; this was the third time this week he'd woke from a dream that involved Lou. Each one had gotten progressively more suggestive, more intimate. He was beginning to be afraid of going to sleep because of what his dreams were doing. He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You need to talk about something?" asked the concerned voice of Teaspoon. "I just couldn't sleep," Buck mumbled. "I noticed you been havin' trouble with that lately. Think a change of scenery would help?" Teaspoon asked. Buck nodded. Maybe if he could just be alone for a few days... "Well, I got a special run that just came up. Probably take you a week or so. Thought I'd send you and Lou." Buck's head jerked up in surprise. "Lou?" "That all right with you?" Teaspoon raised an eyebrow. Buck hesitated. He couldn't very well tell Teaspoon that Lou was the reason he was having trouble sleeping; that would give away her secret, and they'd all promised not to tell anyone. Finally, he just nodded. "That would be fine," he said, with a sigh. "Good," said Teaspoon. "You'd better try to get some shut-eye though; you'll be leaving right after breakfast." He stood and returned to his room. Buck sat on the porch and stared at the sky. Maybe, he thought, if I have a chance to talk to her, it will help. He stood and made his way back to the bunkhouse. As he settled back into his bed, he offered up a quick prayer that there would be no more dreams this evening. Chapter One The next morning, Buck and Lou loaded up and made their way out of the station yard after an early breakfast. Buck was so nervous about the coming trip that he hadn't eaten much. At first he was relieved to find that Lou was unusually quiet as well. After a few hours on the trail, Lou pulled her mount along side Buck's. "Something bothering you that I can help with?" she asked. Buck was tempted to say nothing was wrong, but he knew that she'd never believe him. "I'm not sure if you can help or not," he finally replied. "I've been having some dreams that are a bit disturbing," he added quietly, not daring to look at her. Lou nodded her head. "I think everyone in the bunkhouse knows that," she replied with a slight grin. "You've been rather restless the past few nights." "Sorry," Buck said, when he realized that his dreams weren't only keeping him awake. "I didn't mean for them to bother everyone." "We all know that," she said. "We also thought you might want to talk about it with someone, but didn't want to ask. That's why I asked Teaspoon to send you on this run with me instead of Kid." "You asked him to send me?" Buck was beyond surprised. Kid and Lou didn't get much time alone together, so for her to give up a chance to be with him was really something special. Buck felt both flattered and scared to death. Lou cared about him as a friend that was certain. At the moment, Buck's own feelings were a jumbled mess. "Have you and Ike talked about it?" she asked. Buck glanced up at her, surprised at the question. "This ain't about Ike." "Oh...I just thought...never mind," Lou blushed, embarrassed about the assumptions she had made. Buck took a deep breath before asking, "What made you think this involved Ike?" Lou blushed even more. She didn't wish to offend Buck. "It's just that..." she started, then stopped. After a few seconds she tried again, "The others..." Buck cut in, "You all thought that Ike and I were involved like you and Kid," he said quietly. Lou simply nodded. "Cody saw the two of you at the swimming hole the other day," she said as she raised her eyes to look at Buck. Buck nodded. "I thought I heard someone," he said, meeting Lou's gaze. "That wasn't what it looked like. We weren't..." he stopped speaking when Lou raised her hand. "You don't need to explain," she said. After a pause, she added, "It's just that your dreams started not too long after that, and they're obviously intimate in nature. I just assumed they involved Ike." Buck nodded once more. He let the fact that the others were aware of the nature of his dreams sink in before continuing. He spoke quickly and quietly once he decided to tell Lou the truth. "They don't involve Ike," he repeated. "They involve you." Buck glanced at Lou, trying to gage her reaction to his confession. If he regretted being so honest, it was too late to take it back now. Lou stared back at him, and opened her mouth to speak. At that moment, something in the nearby bushes spooked the horses. Lou's mount took off as Buck's reared, throwing him in the process. He heard Lou scream as he fell to the ground, and everything went black. Lou quickly controlled her mount and looked around. Buck was on the ground - not moving. She gathered his horse and then returned to his side. She dismounted and checked Buck over carefully. He didn't seem to have any injuries, but he wasn't awake. When she turned his head she found the problem; he'd hit his head on a hidden tree root. Lou decided to move him just a little to the side of the trail and make him as comfortable as possible. If he didn't wake up by morning, she'd figure out how to get him into town for some help. As she sat by his side, she thought over what he'd told her just before the accident. He's having dreams about me, she thought. She didn't know whether to be flattered or offended. She decided to be flattered. The rest of the night, Lou stayed by Buck's side, and watched for any sign that he was waking up. None came. He was restless, mumbling in Kiowa, and crying out once when Lou had almost fallen asleep. She did her best to keep him warm, and when he was fitful, she spoke softly to him, reassuring him that everything was alright. It seemed to calm him, but when dawn came, and Buck still lay unconscious, Lou decided that she needed to get him to a doctor. She managed to build a travois of sorts and get him to the next town. "I can't understand why he hasn't woken up yet," she said. "It didn't look like he hit that hard." The doctor finished settling Buck into the bed. "You mentioned that he hadn't been sleeping well the last week or so; perhaps he's just exhausted. Why don't you finish your delivery? I'm sure he'll be fine when you get back in a couple of days." Lou wasn't sure. Buck didn't look like he was getting any better and he still wasn't resting peacefully. "Are you sure it's alright for me to leave him?" she asked. "You think he'll wake up any quicker if you sit here and get sick yourself?" asked the doctor. Lou smiled slightly and shook her head. "I see your point," she said. "My daughter is real good at keeping restless patients calm," the doctor said. "She'll sit with him as much as he needs." He studied Buck closely a few seconds. "I think what he really needs is to just rest; most people do that best in their own beds. You need to get him home as soon as possible." Lou decided there wasn't much she could do except take the doctor at his word. She set off to finish the run, and did it in record time. When she got to her destination, she slept for a few hours, changed mounts and headed back to Buck, riding through the night. Chapter Two Two days later she was back at the doctor's office, anxious for some good news about Buck. The doctor just shook his head."I don't understand it. He should be awake, but he's not. He's a healthy young man, so he should've recovered fairly quickly, but..." "He hasn't said anything?" Lou asked. "Is he a married man?" the doctor asked. "No." "Well, my daughter said he kept asking for Louise. I just assumed that was his wife's name." Lou blushed right down to her toes. "Do you know who that is young man?" Lou simply nodded. "She's a girl back home," she finally managed to say. "I think he might be kind of sweet on her." The doctor nodded. "She feel the same about him?" he asked. Lou looked at the doctor in surprise. She did her best not to let her anger at this personal question show. "Not sure," she said. "Why?" The doctor shrugged. "I was thinking that maybe he isn't sure he wants to wake up. I mean if he's sweet on her, and she doesn't return his affection..." He paused a few seconds before continuing. "He might have decided that life isn't worth the pain of rejection. I know if I hadn't had my daughter to care for, I wouldn't have wanted to continue living after my wife's unexpected death." Lou looked past the doctor to the room where Buck lay resting uneasily in the bed. "You think if Louise would talk to him, it would help him get better?" she finally asked, a plan slowly developing in her mind. "Don't see as how it could hurt," the doctor replied. "You think you could talk her into coming here?" Lou shook her head. "Would it hurt to move him?" she asked. "I could rent a wagon and take him back home. I know I could get her to visit him there." Lou had a lot to think about as she and Buck headed home. The first night, she fed Buck some weak broth that the doctor had sent with her, and as she settled next to him in the wagon, she began to wonder exactly how long he'd had feelings for her. The idea of it took some getting used to, but looking back, she had to admit there were signs. When the others found out Lou was actually Louise, all of them (with the exception of Kid) where a bit reserved around her at first. Eventually though, they all dropped their defenses and treated her pretty much as they had before - all of them except Buck. She hadn't thought much about it. Buck was such a private person anyway. Now she found herself reanalyzing everything about their friendship. Unable to sleep, Lou sighed loudly in frustration. "I wish you'd wake up so I could talk to you." She noticed that Buck seemed a bit warm, so she dampened a cloth and began to wash his face with it. "Please," she said as she worked. "You need to wake up so we can talk. I don't want to lose you." She'd just started to cry when it dawned on her that Buck had calmed almost instantly when she'd touched him. Remembering the doctor's words about not wanting to come back because Louise didn't care for him, Lou decided to try something. She hoped Kid would find it in his heart to forgive her as she bent forward and gently brushed her lips against Buck's face. "Please don't leave me," she whispered. "I don't know what I'd do without you." She moved her hand to stroke his cheek and then once more gently kissed him. Bathing his face again with the damp cloth, Lou felt genuine fear at the thought that he might not wake up. "I need you, Buck. Please wake up," she whispered. Laying her head on his chest, Lou wrapped her arms around him. For a long time she simply held him - listening to the sound of his heartbeat. Could it be that he felt so much for her, that the thought of not having her would bring him to this? Lou found herself wondering if Kid's feelings for her were as strong. She finally drifted to sleep, wondering what the morning would bring. As the morning sun broke the horizon, Lou felt Buck stir beside her. She quickly sat up and moved to where she could see his face. He still wasn't awake. She sighed and once more stroked his cheek. She stretched her back and moved so that she could get out of the wagon and hook up the horses. As she moved from his side, Buck mumbled, "Please, don't..." and then once more turned in his sleep. As he tried to get comfortable, he continued mumbling, but it was now in Kiowa. Lou turned back to him. "Buck, please, wake up. I don't know what to do. I can't stand the thought of losing you." She once more stroked his cheek, and he calmed under her touch. Lou closed her eyes as tears started to stream down her face. She laid her head on his chest again and began to cry. "I'll take you home," she whispered. "I don't know what else to do." Suddenly, she felt a hand stroking her hair. "Don't cry. I'm alright," Buck said softly. Chapter Three Lou sat up. "You're awake!" she almost shouted a huge smile replacing her tears. Buck returned the smile. "Thanks to you," he whispered. "It felt so good just sleeping - no pain, no humiliation, no worries..." he let the sentence drift. Lou reached over and once more stroked his cheek. "I never realized how difficult it is for you," she sighed. Buck placed his hand over hers. "I was ready to let go, but you kept telling me I couldn't." He smiled. "Thanks." Lou blushed. "I meant everything I said," she replied. "I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you. I can't imagine my life without you in it." She leaned in and kissed him; this time she covered his lips with her own and ran her fingers through his hair. Buck backed away from her suddenly, a strange look on his face. "What's wrong?" Lou asked her brow knitting with concern. Buck looked at her. He was smiling, but there was sadness in his eyes. "I don't want this to be another dream." "It's not." Lou leaned forward and put her arms around him, pulling him close. After a few seconds, Buck put his arms around her as well, resting his head on her shoulder. He let out a sigh, as if he'd been holding his breath for a very long time. Lou kissed his cheek, and when she moved to kiss his lips again, Buck stopped her. "Don't do that," he whispered. Lou was surprised that she felt stung by the rejection. "But I thought you..." "I don't want pity, Lou." "I care about you, Buck. I told you I meant what I said." Buck looked back at her, getting lost in her brown eyes. "But you love Kid." "I love all of you," she said softly. "Kid's just the only one who's expressed an interest." She sat back with a sigh. "You know, it hurt right now when you told me to stop. I really want to be with you." "I don't want to be one of many, Lou...I want to be the only one." Lou put her head in her hands and sighed in frustration. "Why does everything with you boys have to be so complicated!" "I'm sorry," Buck mumbled, turning away from her. "Buck," Lou put her hand on his arm, "I didn't mean to snap at you, it's just...I never even kissed a boy before Kid. I don't know what I'm supposed to say." Lou drew her knees up under her chin, trying to figure out what to do next. She realized she'd never been so afraid of saying the wrong thing. "How come you never told me about...how you feel?" Buck watched her closely and realized that she wasn't playing with him; she really was concerned about him. He spoke softly, "I never told you because I didn't want to cause problems for you and Kid. I mean you had really just started to get close; I didn't want to get in the way." He reached out and took her chin in his hand. "I meant what I said earlier. I don't want to be one of many. If I can't have you for myself; I'd rather not have you in that way. Do you understand?" Lou nodded. "I understand; I just don't know what to do. I can't promise that I'll stay with you forever, not yet. There's still so much of life to explore." She once more sighed in frustration. "I wish I knew what to do so that I could quit making a mess of this whole thing." Buck looked at Lou, and saw the confusion on her face. It made his heart hurt. "I'm the one who made the mess. I tried to keep things to myself. I guess I just couldn't any more." He touched her cheek to brush away another tear, and Lou leaned into his hand. "The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you pain. I'm sorry." Lou shook her head and moved closer to him taking both of his hands in hers. "Don't be sorry. We just need to figure this out." They sat in silence for several seconds. Suddenly both of them seemed afraid to look at each other. Finally Lou spoke up. "Can I ask you something?" Buck nodded, still holding her hands in his. "When you were with Kathleen...did you feel this way?" Buck straightened a bit at the mention of Kathleen's name. "Do you mean about her, or about you?" he finally asked. Lou looked into his eyes. "About her," she said, "and about me?" Buck smiled slightly. "I've felt this way about you ever since we found out you were a girl; it just didn't start to bother me much until Emma's party. Before that I could still try and convince myself you were just another one of the guys because I'd never seen you in any other way." He sighed. "I tried to make the way I felt about Kathleen be the same, but it wasn't. I was fascinated by her beauty, and then when she expressed an interest I thought it was a way to forget about you. Does that make any sense?" He looked away, afraid he'd offended her and unable to see the disgust in her eyes. "I'll never be like her," Lou said, pulling away from Buck. "I wouldn't want you to be." He reached for her but she backed away from his touch. "You wouldn't want a girl who's pretty and feminine?" "You are pretty. I think you're beautiful." Lou glanced at Buck, not sure if she believed him. "I dress like a boy, and I smell like a horse all the time. I could never compete with Kathleen. The funny part is I wouldn't want to. I hated her for the way she hurt you." Buck was quiet for a moment, then he spoke, "Do you remember when you tried to stop me from following her to St. Louis?" Lou nodded. "You said she wasn't worth it, and you were right. I just wish I could have told you then, how much..." Lou reached up and placed her hand to his lips. "Don't," she said. "Don't keep rehashing the past. It's over and done with; we can't change it no matter how hard we try." Buck nodded. "I'm sorry I hurt you." Lou smiled. "You didn't hurt me," she said. "I'm flattered that you took an interest in me. I've never had so much attention from so many handsome men. I mean first Kid and now you." Buck smiled. "It's not just me; the others have the same feelings. They're just better at hiding it." Lou sank back against the side of the wagon. Buck continued, "You, my dear lady, can pick and choose whichever one of us you want. I just hope that when you do, you make the right choice and that it makes you happy." He didn't add the silent part of the wish that it would be him. Lou stared at him in disbelief. "You really think so," she finally said. Buck nodded. "I really think so." He smiled as she continued to just stare into space. After a few minutes he tenderly touched her cheek. "I think it would be a good idea for us to start back home. It's going to be hard enough explaining why we have a wagon; I don't want to have to also explain why it took us so much longer to get back. I'm not sure I'm up for the teasing that would follow." Lou simply nodded and moved to the wagon seat. "You lay back down and rest," she said. "I'll go as far as I can and keep us safe. We shouldn't be too late; I did finish the run early." Buck nodded and settled back down in the back of the wagon as Lou quickly hitched the horses and started them on their way. They were both lost in their own thoughts as they traveled. Buck hoped he hadn't ruined a beautiful friendship; Lou trying to decide if she really did have the option - would Kid really be her first choice? Chapter Four They stopped for the evening next to a small stream. Both of them wanted to get home, but there was no sense in driving the horses too hard. They'd be in Sweetwater before noon tomorrow. Buck had gotten some much needed rest and offered to get them something for dinner. Before long he returned with a rabbit, which they cooked over the fire Lou had made. They talked as they ate, not about anything in particular, but Buck found that he felt more relaxed around Lou that evening than he probably ever had before. Judging by the smile on her face, he hoped she felt the same. She looked beautiful in the firelight, but Buck decided to keep that to himself. It was going to be hard enough sleeping next to her as it was. As they were finishing dinner, Buck suddenly stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "What is it?" Lou asked. "Did you hear something?" "No...I thought..." Buck smiled and shook off the prickly feeling at the back of his neck. "One of your 'feelings'?" Lou asked. "Yeah," Buck smiled again slightly embarrassed. She came around the campfire and sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. "I'll protect you." she said with a wink. Buck chuckled and said, "I thank you, my lady." As he turned to face Lou, their lips touched. Buck tried to pull away, but Lou quickly captured his lips with her own. She put her hands behind his head and deepened the kiss. At first Buck tried to resist, but then gave in. He put his arms around Lou and pulled her closer to him. When he touched his tongue to hers and felt her shiver, he thrilled at her reaction. He had dreamed of a moment like this for so long, and now it was here. The kiss went on and on, and when they finally parted, both Lou and Buck were breathless. Lou found herself thinking that a kiss from Kid had never felt like this. Buck reached up and touched Lou's cheek with his fingertips, running his thumb across her bottom lip. It was swollen from his kiss. He tried to think of something to say, but his head was spinning. He pulled her close again, and Lou seemed to melt against him. She brushed her lips against his jaw and kissed his neck, touching her tongue to his skin. Now it was Buck's turn to shiver. They were lying on the ground now, next to the dying embers of the fire. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Buck knew they should probably get up and get in the wagon, but he just couldn't stop. He wanted to touch her everywhere. Lou moved beneath him so that his hips were cradled between her legs, her arms wrapped tightly around him. Both of them were so lost in each other that they never even heard the footfalls as they came closer. When he heard the sound of the gun being cocked, Buck froze. "Well now, ain't this a pretty picture?" Since his mouth was close to Lou's ear, Buck whispered. "Try and make it look like we're fighting." Lou quickly rolled so that she had Buck pinned to the ground. Then she looked up at the man pointing the gun at them. "Thank god," she said. "I thought I'd never get him off me. Do you mind keeping him covered while I get some rope?" The man just stared at her. "What makes you think I'm here to help you, Sonny?" "Nothing," said Lou. "It's just that I need to get him back to Sweetwater; the marshal's waiting. I don't want to make him send out a search party; he's always so grouchy when he has to do that." The man nodded. "Tie him up, but you'd better move real slow. While you're at it, care to explain to me why he was on you like that?" Lou shrugged. "I'm not sure. He fell and hit his head a few days ago; been acting strange ever since. Keeps thinking I'm his girl back home." She stood and moved toward the wagon. When she returned with the length of rope, the man still had the gun pointed squarely at Buck. Lou bent down in front of Buck, but the stranger snatched the rope out of her hand. "Hey! I was...." "I'll do it. Not sure I trust you, and I don't want this Indian scalpin' me while I'm asleep." "You speak English?" he demanded, sneering at Buck. Buck glanced quickly at Lou, but said nothing. "Get up!" The man motioned with his gun and Buck stood up, only to be pushed in the direction of the wagon. When they reached the wagon, instead of telling Buck to sit down, the man struck him in the back with his gun, causing Buck to fall to his knees. Lou's hand flew to her mouth, stifling the cry of surprise that came out. Buck managed to fight off the desire to go back into the pleasant darkness he'd only recently left. Lou needed him awake, even if he was tied up. The man put the gun on the ground and grabbed Buck by the back of the neck. He threw him towards the wagon and then tied Buck's hands to the wheel tightly making sure the rope cut into the skin. Buck couldn't stop the moan of pain. "Good," said the man, "I want it to hurt." He reached for his gun only to find it missing. He turned and found himself staring down the barrel. Lou motioned for him to move away from Buck. "I think it would be a good idea if you went over by that tree and sat down," she said coldly. "I don't appreciate people hurting my friends for no reason. "You didn't say nothing about being friends," the man said. "If I'd known that, I'd of shot you first." Instead of moving toward the tree Lou had indicated he took a step closer to her. "I wouldn't," said Buck. "You've really upset him." "Shut up, Injun," the man snarled. He moved slightly closer to Lou who cocked the gun and said, "I told you to go sit." When the man laughed and stepped even closer, she said, "Don't say we didn't warn you," and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit him in the shoulder and made him stagger, but didn't take him down. When he took another step and reached for Lou, she shot again, this time hitting the stranger squarely in the chest. The man was dead before he even hit the ground. Lou stood for a moment looking at the dead man at her feet. Then she turned and bent down to untie Buck. "Are you alright?" he asked as she worked to free him. "I should be asking you that question", she smiled. Her hands were shaking as she finally loosened the knot at Buck's wrists. "I bet now you wish you'd never taken this run..." Lou smiled again, but she was obviously shaken by what had just happened. Buck returned the smile. He started to speak, but stopped when he felt the dizziness from being hit on the head return. "I think I should..." he slumped forward. Lou caught him. "Please," she said. "Please don't go back to sleep. I need you to be with me. What if..." she froze when she heard something moving in the bushes behind her. Suddenly, a small fox came out of the bushes and ran across the clearing that they were in. Lou was so relieved that she felt light headed herself. She closed her eyes, and held Buck in her arms. Chapter Five She had to get him home. The problem was, once they got home, what would they do? They were close friends, that was true, but the feelings that had been stirred up between them weren't going to just fade away once they got back to Sweetwater. Lou glanced over at the dead man a few feet away from her and suddenly felt that she had to get out of this place. "Buck, I need you to wake up." she stroked his cheek and spoke clearly in his ear. "Buck..." His eyes fluttered and he looked up at Lou. "You're so beautiful," he told her. Lou smiled, kissing him on the cheek "Darlin' you can sweet talk me all you want once we get in that wagon. I just need you to stay with me long enough to get inside, and I'm gonna get us outta here." Somehow the two of them managed to get Buck into the back of the wagon. As she settled him in, Lou noticed how he was fighting to stay awake. "I'll let you get some sleep, if you promise to wake up in the morning." When Buck didn't answer, she leaned in and gently kissed him on the lips, running her tongue across them as she did. As his eyes opened, she sat up and said, "I promise to make it worth your while, but I really need to know that you're going to wake up. If not, I'm not letting you sleep until we get back home." Buck smiled at her. "If there's more of that waiting, I promise to wake up," he said. Lou returned the smile. "As soon as you're up to it, there'll be even better," she said. "Now, get some rest while I get us away from here." "Lou?" Buck called to her as she started to crawl up to the front of the wagon, and she turned to look at him. "What you said about me wishing I'd never gone on this run...I hope you know I don't feel that way." Buck fought to keep his eyes open. "I know things will be different once we get home, but, no matter what happens, no one can take this time away from me." Lou smiled at him. "I'm glad you don't hate me for dragging you along, now get some rest." Buck returned her smile and settled into the bedrolls Lou had spread in the back of the wagon. He was soon snoring lightly as the rocking of the wagon lulled him into a restful sleep. Chapter Six As she drove, Lou once more tried to sort out her feelings. They were all jumbled. She knew there would always be a special place in her heart for Kid, but the more time she spent with Buck on this run- the more she began to question the depth of those emotions. She once again wondered if Kid would ever consider not waking up because he couldn't be with her; she seriously doubted it. After riding for a few hours, she had reached the edge of the next town. She decided against stopping at the way station that was located there. They weren't expected, and she was pretty sure there wouldn't be room for them. Instead she decided to check with the hotel and see if there was a room; if she remembered correctly this was one place that didn't care about Buck's heritage. She was soon settling Buck into the bed in the only remaining room in the hotel. After getting him settled in, she decided to enjoy a hot bath so she could relax and think. She quickly disrobed and settled into the warm tub of bubbles. She closed her eyes and was soon dozing lightly. She was awakened when she felt someone sliding into the tub behind her. "It's not safe to sleep sitting in a tub full of water," Buck whispered. "You could drown." He tenderly kissed her neck as his hands picked up the wash cloth and began to lightly trail it across her chest. Lou caught her breath for a moment, then settled back against Buck's bare chest. "Why Mr. Cross...I wasn't expecting to see you here. What a pleasant surprise." "I'm full of surprises Miss McCloud." Buck let the washcloth drop and brought his hands up to her shoulders, massaging them gently. Lou closed her eyes again and let her hands rest on Buck's thighs. "That feels good�" she sighed. "Thank you for taking such good care of me," Buck whispered against the damp skin at the nape of her neck. "It was my pleasure." "I hope it will be�" Buck caressed her back and moved his hands to her waist. He pulled her back against his body and let her feel how much he wanted her. Trailing kisses down the column of her neck, he moved to cup her breasts in his hands, squeezing gently. Lou arched her back at the touch, as a moan escaped her lips. She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. The feeling of the warm water, combined with bare skin and Buck's touch was almost too much. Buck whispered to her in Kiowa as he continued to caress her. She had no idea what he was saying, but the deep, soft tone of his voice was intoxicating. Turning her head slightly, Lou captured his mouth with hers. She ran her tongue across his lips, as she had earlier and Buck opened his mouth, welcoming her kiss. Turning her body slightly, Lou reached up to touch Buck's face. He pulled away and looked into her eyes. "I'll do anything you want�" he said breathlessly. "if you want me to stop�" Lou shook her head and kissed him again, hoping that she could make him feel all the things that she didn't know how to express. She ended the kiss, and her eyes locked with his. "I want everything," she whispered. "Everything you have to give me." Buck looked at her for a moment longer and then fused his mouth with hers in a passionate kiss. Lou turned in his arms so that she was facing him, and buried her hands in his long dark hair. The warm water splashed out of the tub as they changed positions, but neither of them heard it. They were in another world. Buck wrapped his arms loosely around Lou; his fingers playing up and down her spine, letting her get comfortable. Her body, slick with soap and water, moved easily against him, and he moaned at the feeling of her bare breasts against his chest. He tried to remember that he needed to go slowly. He wanted her so badly that it hurt, but it was the most wonderful pain he'd ever felt. As Lou's mouth traveled from Buck's lips to his neck, his hands slipped down to her hips. Gripping them gently, he lifted her up so that she was sitting on his lap. She wrapped her legs around his waist at first, then rested her weight on her knees. Buck slid down in the water so that he was looking up at her. Her eyes were the deepest shade of brown than he'd ever seen. He pulled her down to him for another kiss, and Lou's hands splayed out on his chest. She pressed herself against him, wanting more. He whispered to her in Kiowa again, and began to scatter kisses over her chest, and finally taking one pink nipple into his mouth. Lou bit her lip, but couldn't keep from crying out. At her reaction, Buck pulled her closer, and let his teeth graze against the sensitive skin. After a moment he moved to her other breast, circling the nipple with his tongue before he began to suck. Lou wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. She felt like she was going to shatter into a million pieces, but she knew she'd die if he stopped. His hands moved down her back and under the water to cup her hips, his fingers needing them gently. She moved against him and he moaned, letting one hand go between her legs. Buck touched her, and she moved against his hand, her breath coming in little gasps. Suddenly, he held her still. Lou tried to move again, and whimpered when he held her fast. "Wait," he said, his voice hoarse. He looked up at her, and she could see that he was fighting to keep control. With her hand, she brushed his hair back from his face, and then kissed him, her lips barely touching his. She flicked her tongue against his upper lip and tasted sweat. It was tangy and sweet at the same time. He took a deeper breath, and then loosened his hold, caressing her again. Lou moved, and felt his fingers slip inside her. Her eyes fluttered shut and she moved against his touch. He said something to her, and this time she couldn't be sure what language he spoke, all she could do was feel. He stroked her slowly at first, with his other hand splayed out on her hip. Before long they found the right rhythm, and Buck knew he would never forget the sensation of having his fingers inside her as her breasts brushed against his chest. When he increased the pressure against her, Lou climaxed. Her nails cut into the skin of Buck's shoulders as she cried out. He held her tightly against his body, and she shuddered. He was still holding her when she moved her hand down between their bodies and touched him. She stroked him lightly with her hand and he groaned. Then, she did something that surprised him. Pushing him a bit further down in the tub Lou settled herself down on him and began to move. She moved at a measured pace, up and down slowly. It almost drove him out of his mind. Buck's hands played at her hips. He didn't know what to do. He'd never had anyone make love to him before. Then she moved faster, harder, and he came. He gripped her hips hard, and arched up against her, a guttural cry escaping his lips. Lou felt her own body shudder again and she lay against him. Neither of them spoke or moved for several minutes, afraid they'd break the spell. Then Buck felt Lou's hand move against his chest, and he covered it with his own. "I'm cold," she said. As she spoke, Buck noticed the chill that had settled in the room. He smiled at her. "Stay put," he said, as he carefully moved to get out of the tub. He quickly grabbed the towel off the floor and wrapped it around himself before moving to build up the fire in the stove. He then took the blanket off the bed and came back to the tub. "Here," he said, as he held the blanket open for Lou to crawl into. She stepped out of the tub and into his waiting arms. Buck quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. He then picked her up and carried her over to the bed. As he placed her on the soft mattress, Lou managed to work one hand out of the blanket cocoon he had placed her in. She simply tugged the corner of the towel causing it to fall to the floor. "Oops," she giggled. Buck arched an eyebrow at her, in mock irritation. "Got any more 'surprises' for me, Mr. Cross?" He leaned down over her, bracing his arms on the bed. "Aren't you tired yet? I don't recall you getting any naps today." Lou let her fingers brush against his arm. She never thought it would feel this good just to touch someone. "Lou?" Lou shook her head, "I'm sorry...it's just, you're beautiful..." Buck felt himself blush "I'm supposed to be telling you that," he said softly. Lou opened the blanket that was wrapped around her, and Buck crawled inside, wrapping his body around her. Lou snuggled against him, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as he played with her still-damp hair. "So is this like any of your dreams?" Lou asked quietly. Buck took her chin in his hand and tilted her face up to look at him. "No...this is a fantasy." He covered her mouth with his, and she sighed, letting her eyes close. When their lips parted, and they lay just looking at each other, Lou let her hand wander over Buck's body. "I'm still waiting for my surprise," she whispered, slipping her hand between his legs. "Well...I don't like to keep a lady waiting." Buck smiled lazily, and rolled on top of Lou so that she was pinned to the bed. Then he started tickling her. As his fingers moved along her ribs, Lou started trying to move away. Suddenly, she sat up with a jerk. "You alright?" she heard from the bed. She looked around the room, surprised to find herself still in the tub of quickly cooling water. "I'm fine," she managed to answer. "I must have dozed off and slipped under the water." "Ummm," was all she heard in reply. Lou quickly got out of the tub and retrieved the towel from the floor - right where she'd left it when she'd gotten into the bath. What a dream! she thought. I wonder if that's the kind of dream Buck's been having. If it is... she shook her head to clear away the thoughts that were quickly flooding her brain. She managed to find her clothes and get them on, and then she went to check on Buck. He was still resting, but it wasn't a deep, deep sleep. She didn't have to worry about him not waking up in the morning. She smiled when she realized how relieved she was to know he was going to be alright. She hadn't known how much she cared for him until this run. It had definitely made her question her feelings. She sighed as she crawled into the bed next to Buck. Now, she thought, all I have to do is get some sleep myself. As she slid under the covers, she felt the warmth of Buck's body and realized that it really was cool in the room. Instead of getting out of bed and stoking the fire she just snuggled in close to Buck. Soon she had joined him in slumber with her arms draped over his body so she could be as close to him as possible. She smiled as she drifted off, vaguely aware of Buck slipping his arms around her and pulling her closer. Soon they were both sleeping soundly. Chapter Seven The early morning sun caused Buck to wake. At first he wasn't sure where he was, then the events of the previous day came flooding back into his mind. He glanced at Lou, sleeping soundly in his arms, and smiled. This was real; it wasn't a dream - he was really holding the woman he loved. Offering up a prayer to whatever gods would listen, Buck hoped he didn't ruin everything as he moved to gently kiss Lou's cheek. "Rise and shine, beautiful," he said as he moved his mouth closer. He was pleasantly surprised and greatly pleased when he found himself kissing her lips instead of her cheek. Lou moved closer to him as they kissed, letting her hand move down his back. They parted, and Buck smiled at her. "Surprise." Lou's face flushed as memories of her dream came back to her, and she hid her face against his chest. "I don't want to get up" she whined, "It's too early." "We have to get back today," Buck reminded her. He felt her hand move under his shirt to touch his bare skin, and closed his eyes. At this moment, going anywhere was the last thing that he wanted to do. Lou scooted up so that her face was just inches from his, and Buck let himself imagine what it would be like to wake up with her every morning. To see her face flushed with passion after making love...to lay with her, warm and naked, as the sun came up. "I think I promised you something last night," Lou said, breaking into his reverie. "What?" he asked, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "More kisses," she smiled, and leaned in to touch his lips to hers. As their lips met, Buck pulled back. "You aren't doing this because you feel sorry for me, or think I'd hold you to a promise made in desperation, are you?" he asked, dreading the answer. Lou placed her hand on his neck. "I'm doing this because I want to," she said, pulling him close to her once more. This time when their lips touched, she ran her tongue across Buck's mouth. After a few seconds, his lips parted and her tongue slipped inside. Buck pulled her closer and rolled Lou onto her back, running his fingers through her hair. He felt Lou's small hands move down his back, and slip underneath the waistband of his pants. She arched her neck for his kisses, and as his lips caressed her skin, he breathed deep, inhaling her scent. At that moment, a flash of lightening lit up the room and a loud clap of thunder made Lou jump. "It's alright," Buck whispered against her shoulder, "I've got you." Lou kissed his neck as the sky opened up outside. "It's raining..." "Mmm hmm" Buck smiled, and let his hands outline her hips. His desire for her was obvious now. He was sure she must be able to feel him against her. "Do you think we could stay for another day?" she asked. Buck rose up to look at her. "Do you want to?" Lou nodded, running her hands up under his shirt again. "Shouldn't we be getting back?" "Teaspoon said to take a week. I finished the run, and he's not expecting us until tomorrow anyway...do you want to drive that wagon in the rain, or stay in this comfortable bed?" Buck chuckled and leaned down until their foreheads touched. Before he could answer Lou brushed her lips against his again. "Stay with me..." she coaxed, caressing his cheek. Buck kissed her, and then sighed. "Do you know what you do to me?" he whispered. "What?" "You make me want things I can't have..." "Who says you can't?" Buck rolled away from her, and lay looking up at the ceiling. "Buck...I know you're worried about Kid, but don't." Lou placed her hand on his chest, hoping her touch would calm him as it had before. "How can I not worry about him Louise?" Lou had to smile when he called her that. No one else did, but when Buck said it, it seemed to fit. "He's risked his life for me, and stood by me...he's my friend. I can't repay his friendship by stealing his woman." Lou sat up, a determined look on her face. "You're not 'stealing' me Buck, and I'm not his. We haven't made any promises to each other. In case you haven't noticed, we haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye lately." Buck looked away. Of course he'd noticed. Who could miss the loud arguments the two of them had recently been having. Whenever that happened, Buck tried to get as far away from the bunkhouse as possible. The situation was just too awkward, given his feelings for Lou. "Kid is a wonderful person", Lou continued "and I care about him too, but sometimes I feel like he's smothering me. Sometimes it feels like he wants me to be somebody I'm not..." Buck turned to look at her and Lou suddenly felt embarrassed. "It's hard to explain I guess." She looked away from him as she continued, "I thought that I loved him, and was willing to try to be the person he wanted." She paused, "But I've realized that I don't want to be that person; that's usually what we argue about - me not wanting to be the quiet, obedient woman he's searching for." She sighed. "I was just afraid to let him go; to be on my own." Buck put his arms around her and pulled her close. "I'd never ask you to change," he whispered into her hair. "Your strength is part of what I love about you." Lou snuggled into his embrace. She pulled his arms tighter around her as she spoke, "I've since realized that I don't have to be content to settle for someone I don't really love." She moved so that she could face Buck. "I care for Kid, but I realize now that I don't love him." She looked at him with hope filled eyes. "I love you," she said. Buck swallowed, and felt his mouth go dry. He couldn't have heard her right...could he? "Can you...say that again?" he somehow managed to get the question out and hold his breath at the same time. Lou smiled and cradled his cheek in her palm, "I love you, Buck." Before the last word was out of her mouth, Buck pulled her into a crushing embrace. He whispered something to her in Kiowa, his voice hoarse with emotion. Thunder once more shook the building as lightening lit the room. Buck loosened his grip on Lou just enough to move so he could look at her. "Do you think you could get them to send up some more towels?" he asked. "Why?" Lou said, as she nodded her reply. "You have had the opportunity to wash away the horse smell," Buck said. "I, on the other hand, have not. I would prefer not to smell to high heaven if we are going to spend the day in this room together." Lou smiled as she moved to get dressed. "Why don't you just go to the bath house?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye. "I thought about that," Buck said, "but I'm not sure I'm up for the trip. Just moving the little bit I have here is causing my head to hurt again. Besides," he said with a wink, "I was hoping I'd have a bit of help washing my back." Lou giggled and quickly finished dressing. "I'll be back in a flash," she said. "Do you want me to have them send up some warm water?" Buck nodded. "That would be nice," he said as he lay back on the bed suddenly unable to keep his head up. "You alright?" Lou asked as she noticed the way his eyes were losing focus. "No," Buck said, "but I will be as soon as you're back here with me. I promise." He smiled at her and closed his eyes. "I love you," Lou said softly as she shut the door behind her. "With all my heart..." Buck whispered. A little while later, Lou returned with clean towels and an order for a tub of hot water and some breakfast. It was amazing the things that money and a good tip would buy. Buck was asleep when she walked in. For a just a moment, she feared that something might be wrong, but his deep, even breathing assured her that he was just healing, and getting some much needed rest. While she waited for the hot water, Lou stoked the fire, to get the chill out of the room. She washed her face and folded some of the extra clothes that had been thrown in a corner when they first arrived. She found a white shirt of Buck's that looked a lot more comfortable then the pants she was wearing, and blushed at the thought of wearing it herself. A knock at the door signaled the arrival of breakfast and bath water. As the water was being changed, she looked over at Buck. Through all the commotion he hadn't even moved. Once they were alone again, Lou noticed that the room felt a good deal warmer. She hesitated for a moment, then quickly took off the clothes she'd been wearing, and slipped into Buck's shirt. It was much too big and it smelled like Buck. It was just as comfortable as she had imagined. She rolled up the sleeves, and wrapped her arms around herself, smiling as she watched Buck sleep. She thought of several times in the past few months when Kid had tried to get closer to her. She had pushed him away, for one reason or another. Now, all she wanted to do was get as close to Buck as she could. Padding over to the bed in her bare feet, Louise put her hand on Buck's chest, and imagined that he sighed. She climbed on the bed and knelt next to him. His shirt almost covered her thighs. "Hey sleepyhead, time to wake up..." she whispered. When Buck didn't open his eyes, she leaned closer and brushed her lips against his ear. "Rise and shine," she whispered. "Everything's ready for you to clean up and eat." Buck slowly opened his eyes and looked around. At first he was a bit confused because he was sure it had all been a dream again. When he saw Lou sitting next to him wearing only his shirt, he smiled. "I guess I didn't dream it all this time," he said softly as he moved to sit. The movement caused the room to spin just a little. Lou reached over and helped steady Buck as he turned to place his feet on the floor. "I guess I'm still a little messed up from that knock on the head," Buck said. "I think it was the second one that's causing the trouble now," said Lou. She studied him for a few seconds before asking, "You want to try and get in the tub first, or would you rather sit here and have something to eat?" "I'd really like to clean up," said Buck. "You think you can get me into the tub? I'm not sure I can make it on my own. I'm still a bit dizzy." Lou smiled at him. "I'll get you in there," she said. "Let's get you undressed first." She moved to take off his shirt. As she did, her fingers grazed against his chest. She was amazed at how strong the muscles seemed to be. She wondered why she'd never noticed how defined they were before. As she pulled the top over his head, Lou couldn't resist the temptation to plant tender kisses all over Buck's torso. She stopped when she came to his nipples. She was surprised to find them hard. She smiled devilishly as she nipped first one and then the other as she gently pushed Buck back onto the bed. "This isn't..." he started to say, but stopped when her small hand reached inside the waistband of his bottoms and began to roam around between his legs. As she continued her exploring, Lou brought her mouth up to Buck's. She was pleased to see him smiling. "I love you," she whispered as she moved to capture his lips. Buck turned his head just enough so that she planted her lips on his cheek. He slowly took hold of her arm. "Thank you," he said softly. "I love you too, more than you'll ever know, but..." he paused to catch his breath. Lou sat up and smiled down at him. "But you need nourishment and rest," she said, as she helped him sit back on the edge of the bed. As she did so, Lou once more slid her hand under the waist band on Buck's long johns. She moved slowly and soon found what she was searching for. Buck once more lay back on the bed. "Lou," he said softly, "Please..." Her name came out in a ragged whisper. She loved the way it sounded. She watched his hand grip the sheet as she stroked him. He gasped for breath, his hips arching slightly off the bed. Lou bent her head and brushed a feathery kiss against Buck's stomach. He moaned, and at the same time, his hand grabbed her wrist. He could have let go so easily, but instead, he held her still. "Not�.like that." He managed to say, his eyes still tightly closed. Lou sat up slightly, and he pulled her hand back up to his chest. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked quietly. Her uncertain tone of voice made Buck open his eyes. "No", he smiled slightly, still trying to catch his breath. Lou's big brown eyes were full of concern. "I just want to make you feel good." She explained. "You've been through so much on this trip..." "Come here," Buck sat up slightly and pulled Lou close. Still holding her hand, he let their fingers intertwine. "I love you so much �" he whispered. "You have no idea how much I want this. But, when it happens I want�" Buck couldn't finish the sentence, because he really didn't know how to express what he was feeling. Lou smiled, somehow knowing exactly what it was he was trying to say. "It's alright. We've got all day." Buck nodded, and hugged her close, whispering his thanks in Kiowa. "You know, someday you're going to have to teach me at least a few words in Kiowa." "You'd really like to learn?" "Yes," Lou looked up at him and grinned wickedly. "For one thing, think of how much fun it would be to talk about Cody while he was still in the room!" Buck grinned. "That would be interesting," he said. "Maybe I should teach everyone..." Lou sat back. "No," she said with an evil grin, "Just me. I want it to be our secret language; that way we can talk without anyone knowing what we're saying." Buck moved until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "I still need that bath," he said. "You think we can get me in there without anymore distractions." Lou giggled and nodded. She quickly removed Buck's pants and then assisted him into the tub. "Let me know if you want me to help you wash anything," she said as she moved across the room to set up the table for breakfast. Buck sank down into the still hot water and sighed. He watched Lou as she busied herself with breakfast, then leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe that this was real. It was more than he ever hoped he would have with Lou, and he didn't want it to end. Wearing his shirt, she looked even smaller than she actually was. With her tousled brown hair and her sweet smile, Buck wondered now how she had ever convinced anyone that she was a boy. He smiled to himself thinking that no one would ever believe him if he told them about any of this. Lou placed the biscuits close to the stove to keep them warm, and came over to check on Buck. "How do you feel?" "Close to human," he joked. Lou picked up the washcloth and began to wash his back. She saw an angry bruise across his left shoulder blade where that man had hit him the night before. Leaning close, she covered it with a kiss. "I'm sorry," she told him. Buck shook his head, "It's nothing...I don't even feel it." Lou smiled a bit sadly. This probably was nothing to him, considering all the times in his life that Buck had been forced to endure pain at the hands of others. She vowed then and there to do her best never to hurt him in any way. "Dunk your head," she told him suddenly. "What?" "Dunk you head so I can wash your hair." "Louise, I can wash my own..." The look on Lou's face told Buck it was best not to argue. He ducked his head under the water, and then wiped his eyes as she began to wash his hair. They had shared many kisses and caresses over the past 24 hours, but for Buck, this felt more intimate than anything else they had done. Having Lou take care of him in this way, as a wife would take care of her husband...it thrilled Buck and frightened him at the same time. He had never felt so much for another woman, another person, in his life. As Lou's fingers massaged his scalp, Buck sighed. "I think my headache is finally going away." "Good," Lou smiled from behind him. "No going to sleep though, you need to eat some breakfast. So do I...I'm starving." "Yes ma'am." Buck slipped under the water again to rinse his hair, and finish washing up. He climbed out of the tub then, and was pleased to find that he didn't feel dizzy. As he wrapped a towel around his waist, Lou handed him a cup of coffee. Buck quickly decided that it was the best cup of coffee that he'd ever had. Instead of sitting at the table, they ended up sitting on the bed. Buck leaned back against the headboard, and Lou, cross legged in front of him. They talked as they ate, and each realized that although they had been close friends, there was still so much that they didn't know about each other. Lou told Buck about her life when she first left the orphanage, and how she had come to work for the Express, disguising herself as a boy. He could see that it was painful for her to talk about, but she insisted on telling him. There would be no secrets between them, she said. Buck told Lou about his life among the Kiowa and his decision to leave them after his mother was killed. Lou asked Buck about his father, and he told her that story as well. None of the other riders had ever asked him about his parentage, or how it was that he was half-white. He had never wanted to explain it to anyone else, until now. They talked about the other riders too, laughing and commiserating about the life that they lived together, and wondering how it was that they had not discovered each other until now. As they continued their conversation, Lou noticed that Buck seemed to be fighting off sleep. "You feeling alright?" she asked as she leaned over and brushed a stray piece of hair out of his face. "Just tired," he answered. "Why don't you get some more rest," Lou suggested. "I'll gather our clothes and take them to the laundry after I straighten up here a bit. Then when you're rested, we can see about spending some time together outside." Buck nodded and reached for his long johns. Lou grabbed them away from him. "I'll get them cleaned too," she said. "You don't need them to sleep." Buck once more nodded and moved to crawl back under the covers of the bed. As he did so, Lou slipped the towel from around his waist. "They'll be wanting this back," she said with a wink. Buck smiled at her as he pulled the blanket over his legs. "You sure I can get some rest?" he asked with a wink. Lou nodded. "I promise not to bother you," she said. "In fact, I'm going to get dressed and run a few errands while you're sleeping. That way I won't be tempted to do anything else." "Thanks for understanding," Buck said as he closed his eyes. Before long, Lou heard the sounds of his steady breathing. She quickly changed into her extra set of clothes, gathered up Buck's and her clothing along with the towels from their baths. She kissed Buck lightly on the cheek before ducking out the door and heading downstairs. She arranged for the tub to be removed - quietly so as not to disturb Buck's rest. Then she took the clothes to the laundry and asked that they be cleaned as quickly as possible. While she was waiting, she headed to the dressmaker's shop. This was the place she had come with Kid to buy the dress she'd worn back to the mission so the lady already knew her. It didn't take long for them to select a simple dress for her to wear that would be appropriate for an afternoon in town. After a stop at the stables to ask that the wagon be hooked up, Lou made her way back to the hotel with her packages of clean clothes and a new dress. She stopped off at the front desk to order a picnic lunch before heading back up to the room. She was pleased to find Buck still sleeping when she arrived. She quickly changed into her dress before going to his side and once more kissing him to awaken him. At first Buck wasn't sure where he was, and then he saw Lou sitting next to him. "You keep getting more beautiful each time I see you," he said, as he sat up and pulled her to him. Lou blushed slightly. "I got your clothes here," she said, handing him his freshly laundered clothing. "Hurry and get dressed; I've got a surprise for you." Chapter Eight Buck took the package and quickly got dressed. When he was finished, Lou took his hand and gently pulled him toward the door. "It's a beautiful day out," she said. "The rain from this morning as made everything sparkle. I thought we'd spend the afternoon together; maybe find a place for a picnic." She led him down to the lobby where she picked up the waiting basket, and then to the stable where the wagon sat waiting for them. "Any ideas where to go?" she asked smiling, Buck simply nodded. "I'll drive," he said, as he helped Lou - no Louise - mount the wagon. He soon had them on a small path taking them away from town. "This is beautiful," Lou said as they rode past a small grove of trees and came upon a hidden brook. "I found it one day when I didn't want to stay in town overnight, but was too far from Sweetwater to make it home," Buck said. "There's even a small cabin just over the hill there in case the rain comes back." As he pulled the wagon to a stop, Lou turned to him and smiled. "This is quickly turning into the best day of my life," she said. Buck blushed a bit. "It is easily the best day of my life," he said, "simply because you didn't get mad at me for loving you. I don't think I could have stood it if..." Lou reached over and placed her fingers on his lips. "Don't," she said. "Don't even think about that. I love you, and I always will." She moved to replace her fingers with her own lips. Buck felt the desire he'd been fighting for so long returning. He managed to break off the kiss and dismount the wagon before it overtook him completely. Lou quickly joined him on the ground. "What's..." she started to ask, but stopped when Buck pulled her back into his arms and kissed her with a passion she didn't know existed. Lou swayed against him, suddenly feeling like she couldn't stand up. Their lips parted for a moment and she saw the passion of their kiss in his eyes. He gripped her upper arms so tightly that it almost hurt. "Now..." he said, his voice thick with some unnamed emotion. Before Lou could say anything, Buck grabbed her hand and led her over the hill. He walked quickly and she stumbled slightly on the uneven ground. The next thing she knew he had swept her up in his arms and was carrying her toward a small cabin. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. Kicking open the door, Buck carried her inside. The cabin was small but clean. There was a table and chair in the corner and a pallet on the floor. Buck had obviously stayed here not long ago. Closing the door behind them, Buck set Lou's feet on the ground, and backed her against the door. His hands held her face and he covered it with kisses - her eyes, her cheeks, her lips. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and they both moaned. Lou realized that she was gripping the front of his shirt with both hands. His lips still locked with hers, Buck pulled his shirt out of his pants and Lou moved her hands under it to touch his torso. He pushed against her, pinning her against the door, and Lou moved to kiss his neck, as her hands unfastened his belt. His hands moved restlessly over her body, caressing her back and moving down to her hips. The dress that had been so beautiful earlier was now a source of great frustration. He couldn't figure out how to get it off. "I have to touch you...please..." With one hand, Lou reached up and unfastened the hidden buttons down the front of her dress. Buck pushed the dress down to her waist and let his mouth trail kisses over her chest, to the top of her camisole. His hands shook as he eased the straps down over her shoulders. Cupping her breast in his hand, Buck ran his thumb across her nipple. He watched it harden beneath the soft fabric that still covered her and then touched it with his tongue. Lou gasped, her fingers tangling in his hair. The camisole slipped down to her waist, and Lou leaned back against the door as Buck continued to suckle first one nipple then the other. Buck felt like he might explode. He had so many feelings and so much need built up, in his body and his heart. Now that it was coming out, it felt like a raging flood. For a moment he stopped and looked up at Lou. She was breathless, and flushed. She looked down at him with love and desire in her eyes. She really wanted him. That knowledge washed away his last bit of self-restraint. Buck let his hands slip down to Lou's waist as he dropped to his knees in front of her. He tugged at her dress and it came down over her hips, one petticoat coming with it, the only thing left was the silk pantalets that she wore. Resting his head on her stomach, Buck brought his hands around her hips and slipped them underneath the fabric. Her skin felt like silk. Lou could feel his breath on her stomach, his fingers gently kneading her. His touch made her shiver, and feel feverish, all at the same time. When he moved his open mouth over her stomach, Lou moaned, calling out his name. Buck stood up suddenly then, and lifted her off the floor. Lou wrapped her bare legs around him, and let her fingers move over the smooth skin of his back. Their lips met and fused in a passionate kiss and he carried her to the pallet of blankets on the floor. Laying her down gently, he whispered something to her, and Lou was alone for a brief second. Then she felt Buck move on top of her, and he was naked. He kissed her again, letting his hands cover her bare breasts. She felt his erection against her thigh, and for a moment she was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. Her limited experience with men, including Kid, had left her ill-prepared for the intensity of this. She could feel how much Buck wanted and needed her. She wanted him too. For the first time she thought she truly understood what it meant to want someone physically. She and Kid had explored that part of a relationship, but she had never felt true passion before. It was like being swept away. Lou knew that she had no control in this situation. The strange thing was, she wasn't frightened of Buck. She was frightened of herself and the raw need that she felt. Buck's hand moved between them and pulled her pantalets down over her hips. She felt the warmth of his tongue just behind her ear and her whole body shivered. At the same time his hand went between her legs and he touched her. She gasped at the sensation and clutched at Buck's shoulders. Laying flat on the floor, she felt as if she was going to fall. He rubbed her gently and she pushed against him, wanting more. He pushed harder, slipping his fingers inside her, and Lou took his mouth with a hungry kiss. Buck groaned, and Lou made a noise of disappointment when she no longer felt his touch where she wanted it most. In the next moment she felt his hands on the back of her thighs, pushing her legs up, and he was inside her. She tensed in surprise and her eyes came open. Buck couldn't wait anymore. Every muscle in his body screamed for release. The way Louise responded to his touch, and her kiss, so full of her own need, had sent him over the edge. He'd wanted to go slowly, but he'd done the opposite. He entered her, and she was so warm and soft, he thought he might die. Then he felt her whole body tense. Bracing his hands flat on the floor, he managed to keep himself from moving. He opened his eyes, and she was staring at him, a look of shocked surprise on her small, beautiful face. "Lou...I...I won't hurt you," his voice sounded hoarse, even to his own ears. Lou watched Buck, above her, and saw him struggling to keep still. When he spoke, he sounded like he'd just run some great distance. She let her hands move down his chest and rest at his sides, and then she moved her hips, arching up to meet him. "I just need you to love me, Buck." Lou moved again, and Buck closed his eyes, finally letting his body take over. He thrust into her again and again, and with a loud cry, came hard and fast, his whole body quivering with release. Lou wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him tightly. She moved one hand around to his chest, to feel his heartbeat. Her palm moved over his nipple, he shivered again. Buck felt like his heart was going to come out of his chest. His release had been shattering, and now he felt like he was never going to breathe normally again. His whole body weight was on top of Lou, but he just couldn't get himself to move. He was still inside her, and it felt so good. After a few moments, he opened his eyes to look at her. She watched him through half-closed eyes, as she ran her fingers through his hair. She tried to push him over onto his back and he knew what she wanted to do. With a smile, Buck shook his head. Then he bent down to kiss her, caressing her lips with his and outlining them with his tongue. Lou's arms went around Buck's neck and she pulled him closer, as she deepened the kiss. Buck rocked his hips against her and she broke the kiss as she thrust against him. "I love the way you feel," she whispered. With a groan of desire, Buck hugged her tightly, and let his mouth move from her neck down to her breasts. Taking one nipple in his mouth, he sucked gently at first, then let his teeth graze across it. Lou gasped and arched her back in response. Buck slid both hands slowly down her back and cupped her hips, holding her against him. His mouth moved to her other nipple, and he licked it with his tongue, smiling as he felt Lou moving against him. "I can't believe that I can have you this way," he whispered. "Just don't stop..." Lou breathed. Sighing in delight as his mouth finally settled against her skin. Buck trailed his fingertips down her thighs and back up again and then brought his hands up to span her ribcage, his mouth still lingering over her breasts. Lou let her legs relax when she felt him slip out of her, and reached to cover his hands with her own. She wanted his touch everywhere at once. Buck slid down and scattered kisses across her ribs and lower, as his fingers caressed her body. She was so small-boned that she felt fragile in his hands. He had dreamed of making love to her so many times, but he'd never imagined it would feel like this. Lou writhed beneath Buck's touch. Her whole body was nothing but sensation. Feeling his warm tongue on her stomach, she moaned and reached down to tangle her hand in his hair. "Do you like that?" he whispered against her skin. "Yes..." Moving lower still, Buck kissed the inside of her thigh, and then pushed her legs up so that her feet were flat on the floor. When she felt his breath between her legs, the haze of feeling she was in lifted slightly. Realizing what he was about to do, Lou brought her hands down to push on his shoulders, stopping him. "Buck...?" Lou was breathless, but he could hear the nervousness in her voice. "I've never...I mean..." Buck rested his cheek on her stomach and looked up at her. "I promise it will feel good�if you don't like it I'll stop." Lou looked into his dark beautiful eyes, and tried to relax. Buck moved up and kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you," he whispered. She smiled and closed her eyes as he trailed kisses down her body. Lou felt his touch, gentle and sure, between her thighs. The warmth spread from there into her stomach and down her legs, like warm water. With his fingers inside her, he felt her relax against him, and then slid his tongue along her opening, barely touching her. Lou jumped, catching her breath at the strange sensation, as Buck placed one hand on her thigh to keep her still. He did it again, tracing a path with his tongue, delving deeper and then settling his mouth on her. Lou gasped out loud, and when she felt his tongue move against her, she moaned. He moved away from her then, and placed an open-mouth kiss on her inner thigh. Her breath came out in a rush, and Buck smiled. The way she responded to him was thrilling. It made him want to give her more. Moving his hands back under her hips, Buck pulled Lou closer and thrust his tongue against her, over and over. Lou's hips came up off the floor, and she cried out, her hand grasping at the blankets beneath her. She was so close, and she was afraid - afraid to give in to the tide of feelings that threatened to overtake her. But it was a losing battle. He began to suckle her and let his fingers slip inside. "Oh...God..." she breathed out the words as wave after wave of release washed over her. Buck felt it and sucked harder. Lou screamed, and her body jerked. It was an exquisite explosion. He knew she was close to climax and when he felt her start to cum, Buck settled his mouth against her, holding her hips, and bringing her legs up over his back. Her release went on and on, and he reveled in it. Then, when he felt her start to relax, he moved up and thrust inside her. Lou whimpered and wrapped her body around him. He moved slowly inside her at first, and then faster, letting the spasms of her body push him to another climax. Buck wrapped his arms around Lou, and held her tight. He could still feel her quivering against him. Neither of them spoke. It felt like an effort just to breathe. Lou finally knew what it meant to be completely spent. She heard Buck whisper to her, asking if she was alright. She nodded, burrowing closer to him. Her eyes were wet with tears. When he moved to a more comfortable position, Lou hugged him tightly. "Don't let me go..." she whispered. "I can't," he told her, his own voice breaking, "I love you too much." They lay entwined, each lost in the presence of each other, completely unaware of everything around them when thunder shook the cabin. Chapter Nine Lou sat up with a start. "The horse," she said, moving to gather her clothes. "Stay here," said Buck. "I'll get him." He quickly grabbed his pants and pulled them on. He was out the door before Lou could say anything else. She wrapped the blanket around herself and began to look around the cabin. There wasn't much there besides the pallet and a small stack of firewood. When the rain started to fall, Lou started a fire in the fireplace so that the cabin would be warm upon Buck's return. She then gathered their clothing from where it had fallen when they disrobed. She thought about putting her dress back on, but decided to wait until Buck's return. In what seemed like no time, he was back. The horse and wagon were safe in the small lean-to that was beside the cabin. As Buck came back to Lou's side he said, "I think I managed to save the picnic." He handed her the basket. She took it from him. "Get out of those wet clothes," she told him, "before you catch a cold." When she handed him the blanket, Buck smiled at her. She shook her head and picked up her dress. "Not right now," she said. "We both need some food and some rest." Buck nodded and quickly wrapped himself in the blanket. He hung his pants by the fire. He decided to wait to get dressed until he could get fully dressed so he rearranged the blanket around his waist and went to assist Lou. She smiled at him. "Just have a seat by the fire," she said. "I'll get this ready; after all it was my idea to have the picnic, remember?" Buck smiled back at her. "I remember," he said as he moved to the pallet near the fire. "It was a wonderful idea, by the way." Lou quickly spread out the picnic blanket and food. Soon she and Buck were enjoying themselves as the rain continued to fall. After the pleasant meal, Buck wrapped Lou in an embrace. "Thank you for the best day of my life," he said, as he kissed her on the forehead. "I could die now and still be happy." Lou snuggled into his chest. "I know exactly how you feel," she said. They spent the next few minutes once more enjoying the closeness of each other. Then Lou turned and kissed Buck on the cheek. "We need to get back to town," she said. "I promised the man at the hotel I'd bring back his basket before dark; someone else needs it in the morning." Buck simply nodded. "As soon as the rain stops," he whispered into her hair. All of a sudden he was really tired. "I think I'll take a nap until then." He moved to the pallet and stretched out. "Why don't you rest with me?" Lou nodded. "I'll just pack this up first," she said. When she finished putting away the few picnic supplies that were left, she turned to where Buck lay sleeping. She listened to his rhythmic breathing for a few seconds before once more removing her dress. Clad in just her undergarments, she snuggled next to him and was soon sleeping safe within his arms. The bright afternoon sun woke them both. Buck gently kissed the back of Lou's neck before moving to gather his clothing. "I wish we didn't have to leave," he said, as he began to dress. Lou nodded her agreement. "I could stay here forever; just the two of us," she said, as she stood and pulled on her dress. "This has been such a wonderful day." Once they were both clothed, Buck took Lou's hand and pulled her to him. As he wrapped her in his arms, he whispered, "Please tell me it doesn't have to end here. I think I'd rather die than give you up." Lou lifted her head until she could gaze into his eyes. "It doesn't have to end," she whispered back, as she moved her mouth closer to his. "I don't want it to ever end; I want you to hold me forever." Buck quickly captured her lips with his own and the two shared a kiss of promise. When they separated, Lou said, "As much as I don't want this day to end I'm sorry to say that we really do need to be getting back to town. We'll have to get up early in the morning in order to get back to Sweetwater by noon." Buck released his hold on her as he nodded his agreement. "I almost forgot we had some place else we needed to be," he said as the moved to pick up the picnic basket. This done, he turned to take Lou's hand in his own. He once more pulled her to him and planted a kiss on her forehead before leading her outside to the buckboard and horse. Buck helped Lou get into the wagon and then quickly hooked up the horse. He went back into the cabin and checked to make sure the fire was out before once more joining Lou. As he mounted the buckboard it occurred to him that they had a few important decisions to make - how were they going to explain to Kid what had happened? Did they want everyone to know? Would they still be able to work with each other and not let something like this afternoon over take them? The ride back to town was a silent one; both riders were contemplating the future that lay before them. One they both desperately wanted to share with each other, but were unsure of how that was to happen. The only thing Buck knew for certain was that he couldn't go back to the way things were before. He felt some reassurance that Lou felt this way too when after just a few minutes on the road, she placed her hand on his leg and left it there all the way back to town. When they got back to the hotel, they dropped off the picnic basket and headed up to their room. Lou began gathering up their extra clothes, and when Buck began to help her, she stopped him. "I can do it," she smiled. Buck shook his head, "I'm feeling fine now. Let me help you." "You don't need to. Really, I'd like to do it." He looked at her, trying to figure out the expression on her face. Deciding that she might need some time to herself, he gave in. "Alright, I guess I can go check on the horses at the livery." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, then headed toward the door. "Buck...don't be gone long." Lou smiled. Buck was so happy that he almost felt light headed. He was head-over-heels in love with Lou, and she loved him back. Nothing else mattered. He knew that things would be difficult when they got back home, but if he had Lou, whatever he went through would be worth it. Opening the door to their room when he returned, Buck took in the scene before him. Everything was tided up, clothes neatly folded. Lou had changed the sheets and turned back the bed, and there was a fire going. Lou sat looking out the window, the late afternoon sun making her hair shine. Buck shut the door quietly and walked up behind Lou. If she heard him, she showed no signs of it. He touched her lightly on the shoulder and she leaned over to rest her cheek on his hand. "The room looks nice. You're going to spoil me." He sat down on his heels and put his arm around her. Staring out the window, Lou said nothing. "Are you hungry? Louise?" When he called her Louise, Lou glanced at him, then looked away. Buck felt a knot in his stomach. Even after all of her assurances to the contrary, what if Lou had changed her mind? "What is it?" he asked softly Lou just shook her head and gave him a small smile. "You said no secrets," Buck reminded her. Louise shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just being silly." Buck turned her face to look at him, gently caressing her cheek. "Tell me," he said. "I don't want to go back." she whispered. "I mean, I know we have to, and I want to, but...I don't want this to end." she looked around the room, and then back at Buck. "It won't," he assured her. "Yes it will," Lou said in a quivering voice. "Nothing will be the same once we get home." She looked at Buck, and when he backed away from her slightly, she realized what he was thinking. "I'm not talking about how I feel, Buck." She took hold of his hand. "I just mean, I won't be Louise anymore." Buck relaxed slightly, but he was thoroughly confused. "I miss being able to dress like this. I like taking care of you, and doing all the things that a woman is supposed to do for..." she didn't finish the sentence. "I love riding with all of you, but sometimes I just want to be Louise, not Lou." She looked out the window at the street below. "Once we're back in Sweetwater, I won't even be able to hold your hand when I want to." Buck smiled and pulled her close for a hug. He was touched beyond words. "I'm pretty used to it now, but sometimes, when we're in town, I feel like everybody's watching me. Waiting for me to do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing. I used to worry all the time that Teaspoon would be able to figure me out. I just want to be myself." "Does that make any sense?" she asked. Buck looked at her with an enigmatic smile, and Lou suddenly realized that he must know exactly how she felt. He was a Kiowa, living in the white world. He spent every moment of every day, just trying to fit in, trying not to be noticed - just like she did. "Yes," He answered quietly. Lou felt like a fool. She turned away, embarrassed. "Oh Buck, I'm sorry. That was such a stupid thing to say..." "No it wasn't. That's how you feel." Lou just looked at him. There was no way to take back what she had said. Buck took both her hands in his. "Do you know that I have felt more like 'myself' with you in the past couple of days, than I have in�a very long time. And when I look at you, I see the girl who came down the stairs at Emma's, ready to do battle with anybody that would dare laugh at seeing her in a dress, and then blushed when we all stood there staring at her." Lou laughed at the memory. "I fell in love with you that day," Buck said. "I just wasn't brave enough to tell you. I was so sure that you would laugh at me, or, worse yet, be insulted that I'd even thought you'd be interested." He looked at the ground as the memories of having girls turn away from his offers of friendship came to his mind. Lou placed her hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry to have brought back bad memories," she said. "I promise to never make you feel that way. The feelings I have for you aren't going to change." Buck looked up at her and kissed her softly on the cheek. "I know," he said. "I feel the same way about you." They sat for a few minutes before Lou spoke once more, "Maybe Emma will have an idea about what we can do. I'll talk to her when we get back." Buck smiled at her and nodded. "That's a good idea," he said. "I'm sure she'll come up with something." He stood and sighed. "I just wish I knew how we were going to tell Kid. I don't want him to be hurt, but I..." Lou joined him and placed her hand to his lips. "Don't worry about that now," she said. "I know something will come to us. I'm also fairly certain that he won't be as surprised as you think he's going to be." With those words, she turned and headed toward the door. "Shall we go get something to eat before we turn in for the evening?" "Lou...before we go...I have something for you." Lou turned to see Buck taking a wrapped box out of his pocket. "When did you...?" Buck smiled at her, suddenly feeling shy. "Earlier, when I went to check on the horses." Lou took the box from him and stood staring at it. "Well, open it." he urged her. With a smile, Lou untied the ribbon from the box and opened it. Inside was a small cameo necklace on a ribbon. The ribbon and the background of the cameo were both a pale shade of rose. The color matched the flower print of her dress almost perfectly. "Oh my," Lou gasped in surprise. "It's beautiful." "I thought it would look nice with your dress." Buck could feel himself blushing, and wondered why he suddenly felt awkward, given what had happened earlier in the day. "Thank you. I love it." Lou felt tears well up in her eyes as she reached up to hug Buck tightly around the neck. They stood like that for a moment, arms around each other, then Buck spoke. "Now what do you say we go to dinner, so that everybody can see what a lucky man I am?" Lou blushed as she stepped out of the embrace and handed Buck the necklace. "Put it on me, please," she said. Buck took the ribbon and quickly tied it around Lou's neck. "You look beautiful," he said, as he tenderly kissed the top of her head. "I really am a lucky man; I never thought I'd ever be blessed with the love of such a wonderful person." Lou turned to once more hug Buck. "I'm a lucky woman," she said. "Most men would never understand my need to do what I do." She slowly let go of Buck. "Now, let's go. I've suddenly noticed that I'm very hungry." Buck moved and opened the door. "After you, Miss McCloud," he said, with a wink. The two of them made their way through the town to the diner. They decided that it would be a nicer place to eat than the saloon. They picked an isolated table back in the corner to enjoy the simple meal before heading back to the hotel for one last night together as Buck and Louise - tomorrow they would have to go back to being Buck and Lou, fellow riders for the pony express. Chapter Ten As they entered the hotel room, both riders suddenly felt shy. After what had happened earlier in the day, neither one was certain about what the night would bring. Finally, Buck spoke, "We can just sleep if you want." Lou smiled at him. "I want to be with you again," she said. "I know we'll probably never have another time like earlier, but still..." She let the sentence drop and simply smiled at him. Buck nodded his understanding. "I'm glad," he said, as he moved to remove her necklace. As he stood behind her to untie the ribbon, he gently ran his fingers through her hair. He then moved his hands so that he was holding her close to him. He breathed deeply of her scent before beginning to undo the hidden buttons on her dress. Lou stood perfectly still, enjoying the sensation of his touch. When all the buttons were undone, she stepped carefully out of her dress and turned to face Buck. "My turn," she whispered, as she started to undo his shirt. As she worked the buttons, she gently pushed him until he was standing with the back of his legs pressed against the bed. As Lou pulled off his shirt; she pushed gently so that Buck fell back onto the bed. "I want to try something," she said, leaning over him and gently brushing her lips against his. "Anything," Buck responded; his breath catching in his throat as her fingers trailed lightly down his chest to the top of his pants. Lou smiled. "You just lay there," she said. "I want to repay you for all the attention you gave me earlier." She quickly undid the ties that held up his pants, and then reached her hands under his back to raise his hips and pull both his pants and long johns down until the were around his knees. She quickly straddled him, pleased to see that he was already responding to her ministrations. Buck reached up and placed his hands on her shoulders. As he started to remove her camisole, Lou took his hands in hers and pulled them to her lips. She kissed them and then pushed them back to the bed over his head. She shook her head, smiling wickedly. "No touching," she said, as she pulled her camisole over her head. Buck watched in amazement as she then touched her own breasts until they were taunt and her nipples were hard. "You like that?" she asked. All he could do was nod; it was impossible to speak - almost to breathe. When she bent forward and captured his mouth with her own, Lou made sure she rubbed herself gently against Buck's now enlarged member. When Buck moaned, she began to trail kisses down his chest until she came to his waist. Here she moved herself so she was no longer on top of him, but kneeling on the floor. As she touched him, he quivered. Lou smiled. She'd never felt so alive, and so in control of a situation. She looked up and saw that Buck was gripping the bed covers next to him and had his eyes closed. His breaths were coming in short, quick gasps. She smiled to herself as she took him into her mouth. Buck let out a gasp of surprise, and then groaned, as he felt her lips close around him. He was shocked. He didn't have much more experience than Lou, and the girls he had been with had never taken much time to focus on his needs. Part of him wanted to give in and enjoy it, but, it felt almost too good. As she took him into her mouth, Lou could feel Buck tense beneath her. She'd never done this before, so she wasn't exactly sure how to proceed or what Buck's reaction would be. She brought her lips up to the tip of his member, and then moved up to look at him. He almost looked like he was in pain. Buck was looking back at her. "Are you alright?" she asked softly. Buck swallowed, and tried to focus his mind on another part of his body. "You don't have to do that," he said in a hoarse whisper. "Don't you like it? Kid was always trying to get me to...." Lou stopped herself. She hadn't meant to bring up Kid - especially not now. Buck watched her, trying to read her face in the dim lantern light. He didn't want to admit that he'd thought about the things that she and Kid might have done together, but he had. Did she mean that she'd never done this before? Almost as if she were reading his mind, Lou spoke, "I never wanted to. It didn't seem right." "Louise..." "But it does with you. You make me feel so much, it's like I can't hold it inside." She leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips, then smiled wickedly. "If you don't like it I'll stop," she said, repeating his earlier words to her. Then, she kissed his neck, and his chest, stopping to take a nipple into her mouth. By the time she got to his lower stomach, Buck was fighting to keep his breathing under control. Holding him in her hand, Lou ran her tongue slowly along the underneath side of him, from the base of his member all the way to the tip. She felt him surge against her palm, and she smiled. She did it again, barely letting her tongue touch him. This time, when she got to the tip, she took him into her mouth again. Buck's hips jerked, and he fought to stay still. He had thought nothing would feel as good as being inside her. But the intensity of having her warm tongue against him and then feeling her mouth close around him...it felt like warm, wet velvet. It was almost too much to bear. He felt her mouth moving over him and the caress of her tongue, and he thought he was going to cum right then. He didn't want to, but if she didn't stop... Lou could tell by his breathing that Buck was close. She took her mouth from him and he groaned, his hands gripping the sheets tightly. Looking down, she saw a drop of cum on the tip of his member. Before she could give it another thought, she bent down and flicked her tongue over him. He tasted musky. When she felt him relax slightly, Lou moved up onto the bed and taking hold of both of his wrists, she moved his arms back up over his head and straddled him again. As she did so, she rubbed her body against his, catching her breath at the sensation. Buck opened his eyes to see Lou above him. She still gripped his wrists gently. "Tell me about your dreams," she said. Buck stared at her. He saw his own desire reflected in her eyes. "Did you dream of touching me?" "Yes," Buck whispered. "Would you like to touch me now?" He nodded, and Lou moved so that her breasts were just out of reach of his mouth. "Please..." he breathed. Lou felt a thrill as she moved again and Buck's mouth came in contact with her skin. Buck felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire. Lou had taken him to the brink of release, then backed off. Now, to have her so close, yet not be able to touch her was torture. Just when he thought he could take no more, she relented, and sighed with pleasure as he took her nipple into his mouth. He suckled her, and thrust against the smooth skin of her thigh. Then she moved again, and at his cry of disappointment, moved down his body, trailing kisses as she went. Never in his life had he allowed himself to be this vulnerable to another human being. She could stop anytime she wished, and leave him with nothing. He had learned not to count on anyone for much, and certainly not to think that a white woman would ever do more than tease him. Being with Lou was like having everything, his feelings and his needs, taken from him, and yet having them fulfilled at the same time. It was intoxicating. Lou kissed his stomach now, and felt his muscles flutter beneath her touch. She brought her mouth just to the base of his manhood, then kissed his inner thighs. She did everything but touch him where he ached to be touched. She watched him, his eyes closed and his body taut and moved up to straddle him. She laced her fingers in his, and brought his hands from his sides, up over his head for the third time. Lou looked at him and Buck opened his eyes. She could see the beads of sweat across the bridge of his nose. "Did you make love to me in your dreams Buck?" When she said his name, Buck felt it in his stomach. Lou felt him surge against her and she lowered her mouth almost to his. "Did you?" Buck felt like he was drowning. He didn't think he could speak, but he answered. "Yes..." "I'm going to make love to you now. I want to feel it when you..." Buck lifted his head and captured her lips with his. It was kiss full of need, and passion. Their tongues touched and Lou took her hands from his, to touch his face. She knew that Buck had felt the pain of loss and abandonment, just as she had. She wanted him to know that there was someone who wanted him, and loved him, for everything that he was. Finally, Lou broke the kiss, and smiled to herself when she saw that Buck still had his hands above his head. His eyes were closed, and he sighed as he felt her fingers trace a path over his chest, down to his waist and then his hips. Lou touched her tongue to him and he twitched. She did it again, licking him with a gentle pressure, along the sensitive underneath side of his member. Then, she took him in her hand, and let her lips slide up and down that same path. Buck was moaning now, his hips moving restlessly beneath her. Lou took him in her mouth, and closed her lips around him. She kept still for just a moment, then she began to move, slowly up and down his shaft. He felt incredibly hard, yet very soft at the same time. She'd never felt anything like it. She sucked harder and Buck groaned. It was a guttural sound that made Lou wonder if she was hurting him. She moved her mouth all the way to the tip of his shaft, circling it with her tongue, and then took all of him inside her mouth again. Every muscle in his body was tense. The warm magic of Lou's mouth was unbelievable. She moved over him, circling him with her tongue and then she took all of him in. His orgasm came on in a rush, and he cried out, his whole body spasming with complete release. It seemed to go on and on. It left him breathless. All in the same moment, Lou realized that Buck was suddenly silent; his body completely still. Then with a loud cry, he came. Somehow, she managed to stay with him, and keep herself still until his body had calmed. Then she sat up, and tried to catch her own breath, as she listened to Buck's still ragged breathing. Now that it was over, Lou was surprised at herself. She'd always thought that it would be horrible, but it wasn't. Instead of being frightening, it made her feel like she was in control. And seeing Buck experience so much pleasure was wonderful in itself. She decided this was definitely something she would need to ask Emma about. After a few more minutes, Lou realized that Buck's breathing had returned to normal. She smiled up at him as she removed his boots. "I've never..." he started to say, but she stopped him by kissing him. "Don't say anything," she said, as she adjusted her camisole so that it once more covered her. She then helped Buck get his clothing arranged so that he could be comfortable while they slept. She then crawled up next to him in the bed. "Just hold me." Buck wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She lay with her head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it returned to normal. She smiled as she realized that she was the reason it had been racing. "I love you," she whispered as they both drifted off to sleep. Chapter Eleven The next morning, Lou awoke when Buck stirred. "I'm sorry," he said. "I was trying to crawl out from under you without waking you." He smiled. "I was going to surprise you by having breakfast all ready when you woke up." Lou returned the smile. "Why don't you go get the wagon ready while I get us something to eat?" she said. "We might as well get started on the way home." She sighed, "The longer we wait the harder it's going to be; besides I don't want you to watch me turn back into Lou." Buck bent down and kissed her forehead. "You'll always be Louise in my eyes," he said. Lou blushed. "Get going," she said. Buck stopped at the door. "I'll just meet you at the livery," he said. Lou nodded. She quickly wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall. She had never in her life expected that she would feel this way about anyone. She'd thought she understood what it meant to care for someone when Kid had discovered her secret, but now... She shook her head to clear it, and quickly got dressed. She took extra care putting away her new dress. As she picked up the necklace Buck had given her, she made a rash decision. She decided to wear it. She wanted to have it near her heart at all times to remind her of the previous day and night. Soon she was sitting next to Buck as they made their way out of town and back to Sweetwater. As the way station came into sight, Lou reached over and placed her hand on Buck's causing him to pull the wagon to a stop. "Let's not say anything to anyone until I have a chance to talk to Emma," she said. Buck nodded and quickly kissed her on the cheek before he started the horses forward once more. As they rode into the yard, Teaspoon approached. "Why are you in a wagon?" he asked as they pulled to a stop. "Had a little accident," said Buck. "I bumped my head and couldn't ride for a while. Lou here decided that it made more sense to rent the wagon and get me home then to wait and have everyone worry." "Seem to be fine now," said Cody as he joined them. "I am," said Buck with a quick wink at Lou. "Lou took real good care of me." Jimmy noticed the wink, but decided not to say anything. He wasn't sure what it was, but something was different about these two. He hoped he was wrong, but he expected that Kid was going to be in for a big surprise when he tried to talk Lou into sneaking off tonight. "Just the same," Teaspoon said, placing a hand on Buck's knee. "I'd just as soon have the doctor take a look." Buck nodded. "Yes Sir. I'll go as soon as I help get the horses settled in." He moved to dismount, but Teaspoon didn't move his hand. "You'll go now," he said. "I'll drive. Lou, would you mind?" Lou simply shook her head and dismounted. "I'll take care of your stuff," she said as she reached into the back of the wagon and grabbed her saddle. Kid moved forward and took hold of Buck's saddle. "I'll help you," he said, smiling at Lou. When she didn't return his smile, he whispered to her. "What's wrong?" Lou just shrugged and carried her saddle into the barn. Kid followed along looking like a little lost puppy that was trying to attract attention. Jimmy scowled at this display. Something happened, he thought. Something like what Kid's been trying to have happen for a while now. He walked sullenly back to the bunkhouse painfully aware that his chances of ever getting Lou to notice him were growing slimmer every day. As Teaspoon rode off with Buck, and Jimmy pouted in the bunkhouse, Cody tried to figure out what was going on. Lou was giving Kid the cold shoulder and she hadn't even been here for him to do anything wrong. He turned to Ike. "So, what do you think is going on?" he asked. Ike shrugged. * I haven't a clue, * he said, *but it sure looks like Buck got some rest on this trip. I mean, he looks better now - after having been injured - than he did before he left. * Cody nodded. "I wonder why," he said. "I guess we'll have to wait until he gets back to find out what happened." Ike grinned. *You could go ask Lou,* he pointed out. "Are you crazy?" Cody asked. "She's about to take Kid's head off just for trying to help carry a saddle. I'm staying as far away from her as possible until she settles down." Ike nodded. * I think I'll go see if Emma needs any help getting things over to the bunkhouse for supper. * He turned and made his way to the main house. He reached the porch just as Lou entered the back door. "Emma," he heard her say. "I really need to talk to you. Something happened and I need to know what to do." Emma looked up to see Lou standing in the doorway, and smiled. "You're back. How was the trip?" Emma gave Lou a hug and motioned for her to sit at the kitchen table. "Fine," Lou answered, not looking Emma in the eye. "Buck feeling better?" "I think so." Emma paused, knowing immediately that something was wrong. "What happened, Louise?" Lou glanced at Emma, then looked away. "I don't know where to start..." "Did something happen between you and Buck?" Lou nodded, swallowing the tears in her throat. Emma was concerned now. "He didn't...hurt you did he?" Emma couldn't imagine that happening, but she had to ask. "Oh no," Lou assured her. "Nothing like that...Buck would never hurt me." "Well then what is it, Lula belle?" Emma took hold of Lou's hands across the table. "You can tell me." Lou sniffled, as a tear ran down her cheek. "I'm afraid you'll think I'm an awful person," she said quietly. "Oh honey, there's nothing you could say that would make me think that." Just then something caught Emma's eye. She reached up, and moved Lou's shirt slightly, to reveal the beautiful cameo around her neck. She smiled. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" Lou nodded again, and broke down in tears. Just inside the front door. Ike stood listening. He had an idea what the "problem" was, even though neither woman had said anything outright. As he made his way back down the porch steps, he felt mixed emotions. If his hunch was right, and Buck had finally revealed his feelings to Lou, he hoped for his friend's sake that Lou felt the same. The problem was, if she did, Ike was afraid it might tear his "family" apart. Ike sat on the front porch of the bunkhouse studying the road towards town. His nervous tension building as he waited for Buck and Teaspoon to return. It shouldn't take this long if nothing was wrong; besides he really needed to talk to Buck. Things were getting really intense inside - Jimmy was pouting about god only knows, Kid had come storming back from the barn all upset that Lou hadn't wanted his help, and Lou was still over in the main house with Emma. Ike wasn't sure where Cody had disappeared to, but he was glad he wasn't here at this moment. Just when Ike was sure he couldn't stand it any longer, Buck and Teaspoon returned. As the pulled to a stop in front of him, Teaspoon said, "Ike, I need you to make sure Buck goes straight to bed. Doc said he's probably fine, but he wants him to rest a couple of more days just to be safe." Ike nodded. Buck started to protest, but Teaspoon cut him off. "You ain't fine. 'Fine' people don't almost pass out when someone squeezes their shoulder. Now get. If you ain't in that bed when I come back over here, I'm going to drag you out to my room and tie you down. You want that?" "No, Sir," Buck replied. "It's just that..." He stopped speaking when Ike placed his hand on Buck's shoulder, just that slight pressure made his knees feel weak. He managed to keep his balance, but realized that Teaspoon was right - he wasn't as well as he'd like to think. Ike helped him inside and watched quietly while Buck removed his boots and vest. When Buck was relaxing on the bed, Ike asked, * Is there anything you want to talk about? * Buck shook his head, but then nodded. "I can't just yet," he said. "I need to talk to Lou first." Ike grinned. *She's up at the main house talking to Emma. I accidentally heard some of their conversation. She knows about the dreams, doesn't she? * Buck once more nodded. "She thought they were about you," he said with a grin. *What made her think that?* Ike asked, shocked that Lou would ever think they had that kind of relationship. "Seems Cody saw us at the swimming hole the other day," Buck said. "He, of course, told the others what he saw and ..." Ike nodded. *They naturally thought that we were doing something completely different than we were. * He paused just a bit before continuing, * I guess I would have thought the same thing if I'd seen us. * Buck agreed. "Anyway, turns out she's not so offended by the idea." His smile broadened as he thought back to the previous two days. "We just need to wait," he said. "I shouldn't have said anything to you, but..." Ike pretended to lock his lips. * I won't say a word, * he promised. * I won't sign one either,* he added when Buck didn't seem too pleased with the joke. "Thanks buddy. I knew I could count on you." Buck looked towards the door. "I just wish I knew how the conversation with Emma was going. I think a whole lot of what happens next depends on what Emma tells her to do." He sighed and focused his attention on the roof. *I'm going to let you rest, * Ike said, * and keep everyone away from you until after you and Lou have a chance to talk. * "Thanks," Buck replied as he closed his eyes. He suddenly felt very tired once more. As he drifted off to sleep he hoped his dreams weren't like before. Chapter Twelve "I'm not sure where to begin," Lou said when she managed to stop the tears. Emma hugged her once more. "Start with why you asked Mr. Spoon to change that run from Kid to Buck. I thought you and Kid wanted some time alone." Lou sighed. It seemed like such a long time ago that she'd made that simple request of Teaspoon. "The other riders and I thought it might help Buck. He hadn't been sleeping very well - kept having disturbing dreams. Since he sometimes talks to me about things, we decided that I should see if I could get him to tell me what was bothering him." Emma smiled. "That was nice of everyone. I'm glad to know that you are all trying to take care of each other." Lou returned the smile and continued. "We could tell from the things he said that the dreams were of a�" she paused briefly, "personal nature." She blushed just a bit as she glanced at Emma. "Anyway, I finally got up the nerve to ask him, and it turns out they were about me, him, us." "Oh," said Emma. "That must have been a surprise." Lou nodded. "It was. At first I didn't know how to respond, but then the horses spooked and Buck hit his head. He didn't wake up so I took him to the doctor in Blue Creek. I left him there and finished the run. When I got back, he still wasn't awake. The doctor said it was because he didn't want to wake up." Emma took Lou's hands in her own. "I think I understand," she said. "You felt guilty, so you allowed him to think..." Lou interrupted. "No," she said. "At first I was just worried, but then I realized that I didn't want him to die. I really needed him in my life." She stopped once more - suddenly afraid that Emma would think her an unworthy person. "I don't think either of us meant for what happened to happen; it just did, and now..." Emma pulled Lou into an embrace as the tears once more started to fall. "I love him so much, Emma, but..." "You don't want to hurt Kid," said Emma. Lou simply nodded and buried her face in Emma's shoulder. Emma did her best to console the girl. They both started when they heard the front door bang shut, and Teaspoon's voice hollering, "Emma..." Quickly, Emma shooed Lou out the back door. Lou hopped down the steps and ran to the side of the house, just in time. "Mr. Spoon," Emma smiled and pushed a lock of hair back from her face. "What can I do for you?" Teaspoon cocked his head at her "Was you just talkin' to somebody?" "No." "Thought I heard the back door close." Emma glanced behind her and shrugged, nonchalantly. "Must've been the wind." she lied. Teaspoon could sense something was amiss, but then again, he'd given up arguing with women long ago. "Well, I just came in to tell you that if you see Buck anywhere outside the bunkhouse, let me know." "Alright. Why? Is somethin' wrong?" "I think he got hurt a little worse then he's lettin' on. Needs some rest. I got some chores to do. See you at supper." Lou walked quickly to the bunkhouse, and let out a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind her. That was close. And she still didn't really know how she was going to handle this situation. As she leaned back against the door, grateful that she was alone for a moment, she noticed Buck, asleep on his bunk. Smiling, she walked over and looked at him. She'd never seen a more handsome man. Glancing at the door, sat down on the edge of his bunk, and tucked a lock of dark hair behind his ear. She leaned down to kiss him on the cheek and his eyes opened. "Hi..." he smiled at her sleepily and she brushed a kiss against his lips. "What did the doctor say?" she asked. "Says I need to get some rest. This shoulder's pretty sore." Lou rubbed his left shoulder with her hand. "It wasn't bothering you yesterday." "Guess I had some other things on my mind." Buck raised an eyebrow and Lou blushed. "Have you been crying?" Buck sat up on his elbow and took hold of her hand. Lou didn't answer, she just sniffled. "Did you talk to Emma?" She nodded. "We were in the middle of our talk when Teaspoon came in." Buck's eyes went wide, but Lou shook her head, "He didn't see me. I ran out the back door. Guess I'll have to try to catch Emma later." They were silent for a moment, then Lou looked around. "Where is everybody?" "Ike's keeping them away so I can rest," Buck explained. "Can I get you anything?" "You could let me hold you." He reached up to touch her face. "If somebody saw us Buck..." "They won't...come here." At that moment the door opened, and Jimmy walked in. He scowled when he saw Lou standing next to Buck's bed. "Hey Jimmy," she said casually. "Sorry if I interrupted." he muttered, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Still need Lou to 'take care of you?' I thought you were all better after your little trip." He did nothing to hide the sarcasm in his tone. "That was totally uncalled for, Jimmy," said Lou, taking a step away from Buck's bed. "He really was hurt; almost died." "I'm sure he was," said Jimmy, the sarcasm still evident. "He pretended he hurt his head so you'd have to tend him, make him comfortable, and then when the time was right he just happened to wake up and kiss you..." he stopped speaking when Lou's open hand connected with his face. "It wasn't anything like that at all," she said. She took a deep breath before continuing, "Besides, what difference should it make to you. It's not like we were seeing each other or..." She stopped speaking as Buck's words from the day before came back to her. Could it really be true - they all had thoughts about her? Jimmy took a step back from Lou. "I thought you cared for Kid," he said. "He's my friend and I don't like the idea of someone stealing his woman..." he stopped then when Lou interrupted. "What is this idea about me being Kid's woman? I'm not anyone's woman," she fumed. "I belong to myself - no one else. If I were dating you, I still wouldn't be 'your woman' - I'd be my own!" Buck had moved until he was sitting on his bed. As Lou stormed off, he said to Jimmy, "Is it really just that you're worried about Kid, or are you upset because she's with me? Would it be as bad if it had been Cody or Ike instead of you?" "What are you getting at?" asked Jimmy, the anger he felt at himself for not telling Lou how he felt when he'd had the chance still simmering. "I think you're more upset that she's lowered her standards," Buck replied coolly. "You don't think I'm good enough for her because I'm part Kiowa." "That's just plain stupid," said Jimmy. "I don't..." he once more stopped speaking as the door flew open and Kid entered the room. "What's going on in here?" he asked. "Lou just went flying past me; almost flattened me on her way back over to Emma's. I think she may be in trouble too because Teaspoon saw her go by." Buck started to stand, but Jimmy stopped him. He decided that it was time to find out exactly how injured Buck was. He'd heard Teaspoon talking about the shoulder so he placed his hand on Buck's shoulder and gently squeezed. He was a bit surprised when he had to keep Buck from falling to the floor in a faint. "Kid, help me get him back into the bed," he said, concerned that he might have accidentally made things worse. He knew Lou would never forgive him if he'd seriously hurt Buck. Teaspoon watched Lou run past Kid and into Emma's house. Since he was exiting the bunkhouse, Teaspoon decided to go see what had happened. As he pushed open the door to Emma's, he wasn't at all prepared for the scene that met he eyes. "It's alright, Lula bell," Emma was saying as she cradled Lou in her arms. "I'm sure everything can be straightened out once we get back over there and have us a talk." "He was so angry, and ugly," Lou said. "I've never seen Jimmy like that. It's like he thought Buck wasn't good enough..." she stopped speaking when Teaspoon entered the room. "I..." Teaspoon said as he collapsed into the nearest chair, "I think someone needs to explain to me exactly what is going on here." "You son of a bitch..." Buck never swore in English. His words felt like another slap across Jimmy's face. "She could lose everything now." "Buck..." Kid was surprised too at the depth of anger in Buck's voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." "You never mean to do anything Jimmy. It just happens that way." Buck winced again as pain radiated down his arm. Kid wondered what had happened between his two friends before he came into the bunkhouse. Obviously he'd missed something - something to do with Lou. *What's going on?* Suddenly Ike was standing by the bunk bed too. Jimmy and Kid both started talking at once, but Ike shook his head. *He's supposed to be resting. Can't you see he's hurt?* Ike demanded, pushing the other two boys out of the bunkhouse. Once he'd shut the door, Ike turned back to his best friend. *What happened?* he asked Buck shook his head. He didn't want to talk or try to explain. "Just go check on Lou for me. I'll be alright." Ike nodded, and headed out the door to Emma's Lou's brown eyes were huge in the middle of her face. The moment she had dreaded more than anything was here. She held on to Emma as Teaspoon stared at her, his own shock evident. "You got somethin' to tell me Lou?" he asked. "I...I..." "Mr. Spoon, I don't think right now is the best time to talk about this," Emma told him. "Well, it ain't like I can put it out of my mind Emma!" "I'm a girl!" Lou blurted out. Teaspoon nodded. "I can see that. What I wanna know is when this happened." "I been like this since birth Teaspoon," Lou explained earnestly. Emma cleared her throat, trying to hide her laughter at Lou's statement of the obvious. "That ain't what I'm talkin' about." Teaspoon took out a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his brow. "I mean how is it that I never noticed?" Lou swallowed, and tried to think of the best way to answer. "Maybe you didn't want to, 'cause if you did, then you'd have to fire me." Teaspoon was considering this explanation, when Jimmy, Kid and Ike burst through the front door. "Lou?" They stopped in their tracks when they saw Teaspoon. Buck lay on the bed with his eyes closed, trying to convince himself that his shoulder didn't really hurt. He could still feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He should be with Lou right now, but he knew it would probably only make things worse. He cursed Jimmy again, and wondered what was going on at Emma's. Had Teaspoon seen Lou and figured out her secret? Would he fire her? What would happen now? He turned on his side and stared at the door. He'd been so happy just a few hours ago. Now his stomach was in knots. He thought about Lou's statement to Jimmy earlier. 'I'm not anyone's woman. I don't belong to anyone'. He knew what she meant, but still, it hurt. After the time they had spent with each other and the things they had done, he felt like he belonged to her...like they belonged to each other. If they lived with the Kiowa, they would be considered husband and wife now. Buck swallowed hard, and willed himself not to cry. No matter how much he wanted things to be otherwise, the reality was that they lived in the white world, and he would have to adapt, as he always did. He forced himself to face the fact that now that they were home, Lou might not want him at all. Teaspoon looked at the three young men standing in the parlor. "I suppose all of you knew about this?" he demanded. When no one answered right away, Teaspoon took at step closer to them. "I'm waitin' for an answer!" "Not...right off," Jimmy explained, looking down at the floor. "I see. But you did know about him...er her." The three young men nodded, and Teaspoon again wiped his face with his handkerchief. He glanced at Lou, who looked positively frail to him now. How could he have missed it? "I'm sorry Teaspoon. It's not like I wanted to lie to you." Lou swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to keep up her courage. "It's just...I needed a job and..." Teaspoon shook his head. "I gotta get some air." He walked past the threesome in the doorway and out the front door. Lou burst into tears for the third time in less than an hour. "He's gonna fire me Emma! I got nowhere to go..." "Now, Louise, just calm down honey. You're not goin' anywhere. Mr. Spoon just needs a little time to get used to the idea, that's all." She hugged Lou as Jimmy, Kid and Ike approached. Kid placed his hand on Lou's back and she turned to him allowing him to embrace her. "It's going to be alright," he said. "You just need some rest. Why don't we go back to the bunkhouse and get your things? I'm sure Emma won't mind if you stay up here this evening." Emma nodded and said, "I think that's a terrific idea, Louise. You go get a change of clothes and come take a nice hot bath after which we can have that talk you wanted to have earlier." Lou simply nodded and allowed Kid to lead her away. Jimmy watched them leave and then turned away a bit disgusted with the whole affair. He was beginning to wonder if Lou had any idea how many people she was going to hurt if she wasn't careful. Ike too watched them leave. He hoped that Lou wasn't planning on playing with Buck's emotions; it would just about kill his friend to have another person reject him after pretending she really cared. He waited until Jimmy had left before turning to leave. Emma stopped him. "Ike," she said, "do you have any idea what happened between Lou and Buck on this trip?" Ike nodded slowly. *Buck told me a little; no details because he didn't want to upset Lou by telling something she didn't want others to know. I just know that he seems to think that she really cares for him. * "You're not so sure, are you?" Emma asked, as she looked where Lou had left with Kid. Ike once more nodded. *I'm afraid that she'll end up hurting him accidentally. I know she won't mean too, but...* Emma smiled at Ike. "I don't think you have to worry. She started to tell me what happened; she was concerned about how Kid was going to react. She did tell me that she loves Buck." Ike smiled at Emma. *I just hope he doesn't see her like this and decide she's changed her mind, * Ike said. *He turns away pretty quickly if he decides that it isn't going to work. That's why I was so surprised when he stayed with Kathleen so long. I'm worried...* Emma placed her hand on Ike's shoulder. "Maybe we can be sure he doesn't mess things up," she said. "Now, help me carry this stuff over to the bunkhouse so you boys can eat." Chapter Thirteen Buck lay on the bed trying not to worry, trying to convince himself that Lou really did love him and that she wasn't going to leave him just because they were back home. He almost believed what he was telling himself when Kid and Lou entered the building. From where he lay, Buck could see how Kid was holding Lou and how she was clinging to him. He couldn't believe she'd forgotten their time together so quickly. He rolled over and closed his eyes and prayed that they would leave quickly; he didn't think he could handle hearing them together - not after the last couple of nights. After the two of them left the bunkhouse, Buck managed to move to a sitting position. He decided that he didn't care what Teaspoon had said; he needed to think and in order to do that properly he needed to sweat. After resting a few minutes, he stood and slowly made his way across the room. He had to rest a bit at the door before continuing to the barn. When he entered the barn, Buck once more leaned against the door frame to catch his breath. He was already worn out, and was beginning to feel a bit dizzy. He decided not to worry about a saddle; he wasn't sure he could lift it anyway. He led his horse out of the barn and somehow managed to mount. He rode slowly to where Teaspoon had set up a sweat lodge. He was so confused and dizzy that he didn't even notice that Teaspoon's horse was tied up near the entrance. As he stumbled into the sweat lodge, Buck was met with "I thought I told you to stay in bed." He collapsed to the ground and replied, "I needed to think." As he closed his eyes, he heard Teaspoon say, "Me too." After a few minutes, Buck opened his eyes and met Teaspoon's gaze. "Something happen between you two on that last run?" Buck simply nodded. "I thought she loved me as much as I do her," Buck replied. He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. "She told me she loved me, but I saw her with Kid. I can't go through this again; not..." Teaspoon placed his hand on Buck's knee. "I'm sure everything can be explained once we get you back to the bunkhouse. I have a feeling that everything is a bit confused right now for more than just you." Buck smiled weakly. "I hope you're right," he said as he struggled to a sitting position. Teaspoon nodded. "Let's get you home." He moved to assist Buck until they were both standing outside the lodge. As Buck mounted his horse, the pain once more radiated down his arm causing him to momentarily black out; somehow he managed to stay atop his horse and make it back to the station. As Teaspoon and Buck rode into the yard, Ike met them as he was returning to Emma's to get the last of the things for dinner. * Are you alright? * he asked Buck. Buck shook his head. He dismounted and collapsed into Ike's arms. "Get him back into bed," said Teaspoon. "I'll go get the doctor." He rode off without looking back. Ike quickly settled Buck into his bed and then returned to the main house. He found Emma and told her, *Teaspoon went to get the doctor to come look at Buck; I think he went to the sweat lodge. He's not in good shape. * Emma placed her hand on Ike's shoulder. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said. "I'll be sure to let Lou know as soon as she's cleaned up and we've had a chance to talk. I want her thinking clearly before she goes back over to the bunkhouse." Ike nodded. He agreed that Lou needed to know what she wanted to do before she talked to Buck again. He didn't want her doing something out of guilt or pity to try and make Buck feel better - especially if she had decided that she really wanted to stay with Kid. *I'll take the rest of the food over and get dinner started, * Ike said. Emma smiled at him. "That would be a big help," she said. "I kept food here for myself and Louise. You can let me know how things are going when you bring back the dishes after you boys finish." Ike nodded and quickly took the rest of the items over to the bunkhouse. He instructed the other riders to let Buck rest and to go ahead and eat. *Emma is staying over at her house with Lou, and Teaspoon went to get the doctor to come check on Buck.* "Why does he need the doctor again?" asked Kid. "He's still sleeping just like he was before I helped Lou over to Emma's." Jimmy shook his head and just glared at Kid. "You didn't even notice that he wasn't here when you got back from assisting Lou, did you?" Kid shook his head. "I went to the barn to check on Katy and Lightening and then came over here; I just got back a few minutes ago. He was in bed when I came in; I heard him snoring." Ike looked at Jimmy. *He's telling the truth; no one was in here when I put Buck back into his bed. * Jimmy looked at Ike. "I know," he said. "I just hate that someone is going to get hurt when this whole thing is over." He pointed at Kid. "He's totally unaware of what's going on, and so..." Ike nodded. *I know,* he said. *I hope this can work out without too much trouble.* Kid watched his two friends. "What are you two talking about?" he asked. Cody entered the bunkhouse along with Teaspoon and the doctor. "So," he asked as he went to the table, "Does anyone know what happened that has Lou all upset, and Teaspoon so worried?" Jimmy sat down next to Cody. "When exactly did you disappear?" he asked. Cody started to fill his plate. "Right after Buck and Lou returned from their last run," he said. "I could tell something was amiss, but I didn't want to get involved and get Lou mad at me so I went to the swimming hole and read for a while." Jimmy looked past Ike at where the doctor was examining Buck. "Seems Buck and Lou got real close on this last run," he said. Kid sat down and just stared at Jimmy. "You're crazy," he said. "She'd never..." Jimmy cut him off. "She did," he said. "Anyway, I'm not sure exactly what happened or why it was a problem once they got back here, but Lou got upset and went to talk to Emma. Teaspoon found out she's a she, and now Buck's hurt again. That's why Doc is here and Emma and Lou aren't." Cody nodded as he continued to fill his plate. "So," he said, "is it alright if we eat? I'm starved." Ike grinned as he sat down next to Cody. *It's fine, * he said. *Maybe it would help all of us if we tried to do something normal.* The doctor checked Buck very carefully. When he finished, he turned to Teaspoon. "I can't explain it," he said. "There's no reason I can think of that he'd be unconscious. You said he didn't hit his head again, and nothing seems different than it did earlier." Teaspoon nodded. "Thanks Doc," he said. "I guess we just let him sleep until morning." The doctor agreed. "If he doesn't wake up on his own by then, come get me again and see if we can do something." "Thanks," said Teaspoon. "Let me show you out." He walked the doctor to the door and joined the boys at the table. His shock over learning Lou's secret coupled with his worry over Buck caused him to not notice the quiet tension that surrounded him. After the meal was over, Ike quietly gathered the dishes and carried them over to the main house. When Kid offered to help, Ike said, * I think it might be better if you didn't go over there right now. I can make two trips. * Jimmy stood. "I'll help," he said. "I won't stay; I'll just drop off the stuff and head right back over here." Ike smiled his thanks as he nodded. The two of them went to Emma's house and quietly left the dishes and other supplies. Ike turned to Jimmy, *Thanks,* he said. *I'm going to let Emma know about Buck and see what she thinks we should do. * Jimmy nodded. "I'll do my best to keep Kid from coming over here," he said. "I'm sorry I said anything, but he just made me so mad with the way he was acting. I wanted him to at least be a little prepared when she tells him that she doesn't want to be with him anymore." Ike nodded. *I understand, * he said. *I just hope you're right about who you think she's going to choose. I don't think Buck could stand being rejected again. I'm afraid of what he'll do if...* Jimmy cut him off. "I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry," he said. "But know that I'll be there to help anyway I can if I'm wrong. I owe Buck that much after the way I botched things earlier today." Ike nodded once more and then went to knock on the door that led from the kitchen to the sitting room. Emma opened the door and smiled at Ike. "You boys get enough for supper?" she asked. Ike nodded and pointed out the dishes that he had brought over. "How's Buck?" Ike shrugged. *He's asleep. Doc says there's no reason he shouldn't be alright. We're supposed to send for him if Buck doesn't wake up in the morning. How about Lou?" "She's quiet. Don't you boys wait up for her now. I think it'd be best if we all just got some sleep. Things will look better in the light of day." Ike smiled as Emma gave him a hug. He fervently hoped that she was right. Chapter Fourteen Sitting in the middle of the bed, Lou yawned. Suddenly she felt very, very tired. It felt strange being here, away from the bunkhouse, and she wondered what Buck was doing. She missed him. Since coming over to Emma's a few hours earlier, she hadn't even seen him at all. "Louise?" Emma stuck her head in the door. "Are you comfortable?" Lou nodded. "This is so nice Emma, but I feel strange sleeping here..." "Oh now, it's just one night. Besides, I like having the company." Emma sat on the bed and handed Lou a cup of tea. "You still want to talk?" she asked Lou gently. Lou shrugged, "I got a lot to say, but I don't know where to start." "Earlier I asked you if finding out how Buck felt about you was a shock. Exactly how does he feel Lou?" Lou looked down into her teacup, and smiled. "He loves me." "Did he say that?" "Yes." she smiled again and blushed. "What about you?" "I love him too." She looked up at Emma and her eyes sparkled. "Are you sure?" Before Lou could answer, Emma continued, "I know that you care about Buck, and sometimes, when two people are together in a difficult situation, it can bring them closer. Once that situation is past, they may realize that those feelings have faded too." "This isn't like that Emma." Lou tried to think of how to explain what had happened between her and Buck but she couldn't seem to find the words. "Buck has been through a lot Louise. I know you have too, but he's facing a difficult road." "You mean because he's Kiowa." Emma nodded. "I care very much for both of you, and I wouldn't want to see either of you get hurt." "I know." "What about Kid?" Emma asked. "I don't want to hurt him either." Lou said. "I thought I knew what it meant to love somebody, and I do love Kid but...it's not the same." Emma smiled at the girl and took hold of her hand. She could tell that Lou was struggling to express how she felt. "Whatever you want to tell me Louise, you know I'll listen." "We...we made love Emma. I've been with Kid before but, this was so different. These last couple of days, it felt like there was no one else in the world but us." Emma nodded as she remembered the feeling. "I'm sure that it was wonderful, but are you sure that's not because you were just relieved that he was better, or flattered that he's been having thoughts of you?" Lou took a deep breath before answering. "At first I wasn't sure," she said. "When he first woke up, and we were just talking I kept wondering if what I was feeling was just relief. Then when we went on the picnic and he took me..." she stopped. That had made it sound like Buck had forced himself upon her. "I mean, when he loved me," she corrected her statement, "I knew that it wasn't just relief. I've never felt more alive, or more sure about anything in my life. I'm meant to be with Buck - forever." "You're sure he feels the same?" asked Emma. "He won't feel differently now that you've been with him, and he's gotten what he wants?" Lou shook her head almost violently. "I know that some boys are like that, but Buck isn't. He loves me." She paused for a brief moment and then looked at Emma with such intensity that Emma had to look away. "Emma," Lou whispered, "When he first got hurt, the doctor said the only reason he wasn't waking up was because he didn't want to. He thought it was because he'd been rejected by some girl back home here." When Emma looked back at Lou, Lou continued, "Emma, he was willing to die because it was less hurtful than living without me. I've never had anyone love me that much before." She looked away as she said, "I know the other boys would die for me, same as I would for them, but I don't think even Kid would die because I didn't love him. Does this make any sense? I just know that Buck and I are right." Emma reached over and hugged Lou. "I'm sure you are, honey. Now, you need to get some rest. It's going to be another emotionally draining day tomorrow when we talk to Kid and the others about this." Buck had been staring at the ceiling above him for the past hour. The bright moonlight didn't seem to be bothering his sleeping companions. Cody was snoring, and Jimmy was muttering in his sleep as he often did. Buck looked over at Lou's empty bunk for what must have been the hundredth time since waking up. Where was she? She must be staying at Emma's, but why? Had Teaspoon already fired her? Buck thought about how upset she must be, and wished with all his heart that he was with her, instead of laying here alone in the dark. If she left the Express, he would leave too. He couldn't stay here without her. Buck sighed heavily then and closed his eyes. He hoped for Lou's sake that he was wrong and that she hadn't been turned out. But if that wasn't the case, it must mean that she was staying at Emma's to avoid him. Turning on his side, Buck hugged his pillow against his chest. He remembered holding Lou in his arms for the past two nights. The feeling of her body next to his, her breath on his skin, the sound of her voice...the fear of losing those things filled his heart. He knew he would survive losing her, but he didn't want to. Buck had not shed tears since his mother's death, and right now, the effort it took to keep from crying made his chest hurt. He had to get outside before the walls closed in on him. His shoulder seemed to be better, but he still moved carefully as he got up from his bed and stepped outside the bunkhouse. He took a deep breath and stared up at the stars, praying to the spirits for strength. He looked up at the main house and in the bright moonlight saw Lou standing on the porch, in her nightgown. With the moon behind her, the gown was almost completely see-through. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her move across the porch and walk down the steps and into the yard. She quietly made her way over to the corral and stood watching the horses lost in thought, totally unaware of her surroundings. Buck contemplated going to join her, but the slightest pressure on his shoulder still caused his knees to buckle and he didn't want to worry Lou by passing out if he was lucky enough to have her hug him. Instead he carefully lowered himself to the porch and sat watching Lou as she studied the horses. He drew himself into the shadows when she turned back towards the house. She paused slightly as her eyes scanned the bunkhouse and Buck held his breath willing her not to see him. He wasn't ready for her to tell him it was all a mistake, that she really still loved Kid. He didn't breathe again until Lou made her way back up the steps and entered Emma's house. Buck spent the next few minutes trying to convince himself that he'd done the right thing by not letting her see him. As long as she hadn't told him it was a mistake he could still harbor the hope that she would chose him over Kid. As he sat staring at the door to Emma's house, he felt an overwhelming sense of dread begin to fill his soul. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, he decided to try and find out what was going on with Lou. He pulled himself to a standing position and slowly made his way to Emma's porch. He tried the door and found it unlatched. He moved inside quickly and stood completely still as he let his eyes adjust to the dim light of the room. As he waited, he realized that this was the wrong way to go about things. He had just decided to leave when he heard her. "Buck, is that you?" she whispered as she moved to light the nearby lantern. As the light filled the room and he came face to face with Emma, Buck was suddenly aware of his state of undress and how wrong it was for him to be here at all. He quickly dropped his gaze to the ground as he said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come over here. It's just..." he stopped speaking as Emma crossed the room and touched his arm. "It's alright," she said. "Come sit down by the fire. I'll get you a blanket and we can talk." Buck simply nodded and followed her across the room. She handed him a blanket and turned to stir the ashes. Once she had a small flame going, Emma turned to him. "Have some trouble sleeping?" she asked with a smile. Buck nodded. He was still painfully aware that he was wearing only his long john bottoms. "I thought I saw Lou outside, and I needed to..." he stopped as it dawned on him that he had no idea how much Emma knew about what had happened between them. "You wanted to know if she was alright, didn't you?" Emma finished for him. He once more nodded. "When she didn't come back to the bunkhouse, I wasn't sure what had happened with Teaspoon. Did he find out? Has he fired her?" He lifted his gaze to Emma's face, "Does she want me to go away so that she never has to see me again?" "Why would she want that?" asked Emma. "I saw her with Kid before," Buck whispered. Emma simply looked at him not knowing what he was talking about. "He was helping her gather her things; they were holding each other so close," Buck stopped speaking as the pain he felt at possibly losing Lou threatened to overwhelm him. When he looked back up, his eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I wouldn't blame her for deciding I was a mistake; I just need to know. I can't ..." he stopped speaking as he lost control and the tears he'd been fighting for so long started to fall. Emma took him in her arms. "She doesn't want you to go anywhere," Emma said. Buck managed to regain control of his emotions. "Then why didn't she come back to the bunkhouse?" he asked "We thought it would be better for her to stay up here tonight so the two of us could have a woman to woman talk. I'm sorry no one told you. They must have thought you were resting and didn't want to bother you." Buck smiled at Emma. "She told you about what happened?" he asked. When Emma nodded, he once more dropped his gaze to the ground. After a few minutes he dared to look back into Emma's face. "Did she tell you if she thought it was a mistake or not?" he finally asked. "You came over here to ask her that didn't you?" Emma replied, as she stood. Buck nodded. "I love her so much it hurts to think of not being with her," he said. "When I saw her with Kid, I thought I was going to die. I..." he stopped speaking as he felt Lou's arms wrap around his neck. "I think I'll let the two of you talk this over," said Emma with a slight smile as she left the room and headed for the kitchen. Lou scooted around so that she could sit in front of him, and placed her hands on his knees. She smiled at the look of surprise on his face, and hugged him again. When she felt him tense up, she let go. "Does your shoulder still hurt?" He nodded, so Lou leaned forward, and, with her hands in her lap, gave him a kiss. Buck just stared at her, as if he expected her to disappear. "Say something," she smiled, laughing softly. "Can you put your arms around me again?" "I don't want to hurt you." she told him. "I don't care about that. I just need to hold you." Lou reached up to caress his cheek with her hand, and kiss him again. She put her arms gently around his neck, and felt him pull her close. With his head on her shoulder, Buck let the rest of his tears fall. "It's alright," Lou whispered. "I thought you..." "I didn't change my mind, and you are not a mistake. Don't ever think that." Buck tried to stop crying, but he couldn't. He was so relieved, and yet, part of him still couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Please don't leave me," The tone in his voice almost broke Lou's heart. She tried to move to see his face, but he wouldn't let her go. Finally, she got him to look at her. "We only just found each other Buck. Why would I leave you?" Buck took a deep breath to calm his fragile nerves. "I thought you might have realized what life with me would mean," he whispered so softly that Lou almost didn't hear him. She moved so that she was kneeling in front of him. She took his face in her hands and made him look her in the eyes. "Life with you will be the most wonderful thing in the world," she said. "A life with you is the only one I plan on living." Buck smiled at her. "I was so scared that you'd changed your mind," he said. "I know I should have trusted you, and I'm sorry..." he stopped speaking when Lou captured his lips with her own. "Don't," she said, when she broke off the kiss. "Don't ever apologize for being honest with me about the way you feel." She kissed him once more and then stood. "You need to get some sleep," she said. Buck nodded. "I can't sleep without you in my arms," he said softly. "Not tonight. I need to know this isn't another dream. Please, let me just hold you a while longer." Lou nodded. "Stay here just a second," she said as she disappeared behind him. She quickly gathered the quilted cover from the bed in the room she was to stay in and brought it to lie on the floor in front of the fire. She then assisted Buck as he stretched out on the make-shift bed. As she snuggled into his arms, she said. "I love you, Buck Cross, and I promise never to leave you." Chapter Fifteen Lou woke with a start. She tried to sit up, but something held her down. For a split second, she panicked, then she remembered where she was. The reason she couldn't sit up was because Buck's arm was wrapped around her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, pressing her cheek against Buck's bare chest. "What is it?" he asked, tightening his hold on her. "I just had a bad dream is all," Lou wrapped her arm around his waist and took another breath. She felt Buck kiss the top of her head. "What about?" Lou moved a bit so she could look at him. She felt a thrill being so close to him, and wondered if she would ever get used to it. "That man that tried to hurt you, I dreamt that he hit you, and this time you didn't wake up." Buck smiled, "I'm right here. It was just a dream." "I know." Lou kissed him gently. "Go back to sleep." Buck smiled as he pulled Lou even closer. "I will if you will," he said. Lou snuggled into his embrace and breathed deeply. Soon they were both once more sleeping, entwined together as closely as humanly possible. On her way to make breakfast, Emma stopped to pull the blanket off the sofa and toss it gently over the couple. As she adjusted the cover, Buck opened his eyes. He smiled at her and whispered, "Thank you for not turning me away." Emma returned the smile as she watched him close his eyes once more and return to an easy sleep. As the sun broke through the drapes, Lou stirred. She once more had to take a few seconds to recall where she was. She noticed the blanket and realized that Emma had been by. She moved to where her mouth was near Buck's ear. "Why don't we move you to the bed in the room next door?" she whispered. Buck mumbled an unintelligible reply, but allowed Lou to assist him to the bed that had been meant for her. As she tucked him in, he opened his eyes. "Where are you going?" he asked as she turned to begin dressing. "I'm going to help Emma get breakfast ready for the boys," Lou answered as she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I need to talk to her to decide how we're going to explain why you're over here." Buck smiled at her and started to get out of the bed. "I can help," he said. Lou just smiled at him. "I'm pretty sure you don't really want to be running around Emma's house in what you've currently got on," she said. "I'll get Ike to bring over your clothing and help you get dressed so you can join all of us for breakfast. Now, get some more sleep. Doc said you were supposed to rest if you wanted to get better." She kissed him on the forehead before turning to get dressed. Lou decided to wear the dress she had purchased on this last run. It went so well with the necklace that Buck had given her, and she wanted everyone to see the beautiful gift. She quickly put on her clothes and made her way to where Emma was busy preparing the morning's meal. Emma smiled as Lou entered the room "You look well rested," she said. Lou blushed and lowered her gaze. "Thank you for letting him stay," she said softly. "I think we both needed to be together last night just to be sure it wasn't all a dream." Emma nodded. "I'm glad I could help. Did you leave him lying on the floor?" Lou shook her head. "I helped get him into the bed in my room. When we take this over to the bunkhouse, I'll have Ike come over with a change of clothes for him." "That's a good idea," said Emma. She returned to preparing the morning's biscuits. After a few moments of silence, she asked, "You know what you're going to say to the others?" Lou shook her head once more. "I was hoping to be able to explain to Kid before everyone else, but I guess that's not going to happen. I just hope I can explain so he isn't too hurt." Just then they heard the front door to the house bang open. In a short while, Ike came running into the kitchen and they heard Kid hollering, "Emma, Lou..." Emma quickly wiped her hands on her apron and went to where Ike stood. "In here, Kid," she called back. "What's wrong?" *Buck's gone,* Ike signed quickly. *He wasn't in his bed this morning. I'm worried...* Emma took Ike's hands in her own. "He's fine," she said with a smile. "See," said Kid, "I told you he was alright. Where is he? Did Teaspoon take him back into town to see Doc?" Lou shook her head. "He's in the other room over here," she said. "He came over last night so we could talk," she glanced at Kid's face before adding, "and be together." Kid sank into the nearby chair. "What do you mean?" he asked. Lou sat next to him and took his hands in her own. "Something happened on this last run," she said. "It's not that I don't care for you, but..." Kid pulled his hands free and placed one finger on her lips. "Jimmy was right, wasn't he?" he asked softly. "You and Buck are a couple." Lou nodded. "It's not that I don't care for you," she tried to explain. "It's just that I realized that I don't love you the way I should if I'm going to be with you forever." Kid nodded. "I understand," he said. "I always suspected that we were together more because I discovered your secret first then because of any real attraction. I hope the two of you will be happy; I mean that with all my heart." He stood. "I'm going to go let the others know that everything's alright." Lou smiled up at him. "Thank you for understanding," she said. "I never meant to hurt you." Kid nodded and left. Ike turned to follow him. "Ike," said Emma, causing him to stop and turn to face her. "Would you mind bringing some clothes over for Buck. He didn't think to bring any over last night, and I'm sure he'd much rather return to the bunkhouse better dressed than he is currently." Ike nodded. *I'll bring some right over. * "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," said Lou as Ike followed after Kid. Emma hugged her briefly before returning to her cooking. "I'm glad you were able to tell him before you told everyone else." She grinned, "Of course you know that the others will all know by the time you get over there." Lou laughed. "You're probably right. If we don't hurry and get this food over there, Cody will have Buck and me married with children." When Lou walked into the bunkhouse with Emma, you could've heard a pin drop. She was a bit nervous, since this would be only the second time that all of them had seen her in a dress, but the looks of shock and surprise that greeted her were well worth the effort of putting it on. She just hoped that Buck would appreciate it too. As she and Emma set the food on the table, Emma smiled, "Well, if this is what it takes to keep you boys quiet at mealtime, I'll make sure Louise has a new dress for every day of the week." Lou blushed, and Cody finally broke the silence. "Does this mean Lou ain't gonna be doin' her regular chores no more?" "Mr. Cody," Teaspoon spoke as he stood in the doorway, "Seems to me you've got enough to do just keepin' up with your own work, I wouldn't go worryin' about anybody else's." Teaspoon looked at Lou and she looked down at the ground, unsure how to act around the older man now. "Well, looks like you ladies are servin' a fine breakfast. Let's eat." Lou sat down, and Kid made a move to sit next to her, as he usually did, then stopped short. Going around to the other side of the table he took Buck's seat. Jimmy looked from Kid to Lou, but said nothing. Just then the door opened and Buck walked in. When he saw Lou, sitting at the table in her dress, wearing the cameo he'd given her, he froze. It seemed everyone, except Emma who was serving, had turned to stare at him, but he couldn't take his eyes off Lou. "Mornin' Buck," Emma greeted him "Sleep well?" She smiled and didn't wait for a reply, "Come on over and get some breakfast. I'm sure you must be hungry." "Yes ma'am." Buck now noticed that Kid was sitting in his chair, and the one next to Lou was empty. Lou gave him a reassuring smile and he moved to sit next to her. After a few minutes, Teaspoon sat back in his chair. "Well, I was gonna wait and talk to Lou...Louise in private, but seein' as how she's dressed for the occasion, I guess now is as good a time as any to talk about this latest...development." Under the table, Lou reached for Buck's hand. He took her hand in his and squeezed tightly. "Now that I've had time to think, and get used to this, I hope things can get back to normal around here." "So you're not gonna fire me?" Lou asked in a small voice. "No reason to. You do just as good a job as any of these boys. The fact that you're a woman don't make no difference. I just wouldn't wear that dress in town to often. That'll give you away." He winked at Lou and everyone laughed, easing some of the nervous tension in the room. "But what about the company?" Lou asked. "What the company don't know won't hurt 'em. This is a family, and I figure we gotta stick together." "So I can stay?" "You can stay." Teaspoon smiled at his smallest rider and she let out a huge sigh of relief, leaning against Buck as she did so. That gesture, and the huge smile on Buck's face, did not go unnoticed. As they were finishing breakfast, Teaspoon spoke again, "Well, Buck you were up for a run today, but I don't think that's a good idea." Buck hated to admit that he couldn't do his job, but if he was going to heal, he still needed to take things easy for a few days. "I'll do it Teaspoon," Kid spoke up from his seat. "You sure Kid? You ain't had much time off the last couple of weeks." "That's alright. I think I need to ride for awhile." Teaspoon glanced at Lou, who was staring into her plate. "All right then, you'd better get a move on. And, Cody, since you was so concerned about the duties of your fellow riders, you may take on Buck's chores for the next 3 days." "Aw, Teaspoon," "Teaspoon, I can..." Teaspoon held up both hands to silence Cody and Buck. "No arguments, either of ya. Buck, I'd better not catch you lifting anything, is that clear?" "So what's he gonna do?" Cody whined. "Sit around and make eyes at Lou all day?" At Cody's remark, Buck's face hardened and Kid made a quick exit. "Cody, either you keep quiet, or you'll be doin' everybody's chores." Teaspoon glared at the blond rider. Outside, Kid was saddling Katy for their run, when Buck approached him. "Hey Kid," Buck had thought of something to say, but now it seemed stupid. He felt awkward and at a loss for words. "I um...I just wanted to say..." "Do you love her?" Kid asked, looking Buck straight in the eye. "More than anything." Buck met his gaze clearly. "She loves you too. Just take good care of her. Make her happy." Kid mounted Katy then and rode out into the yard. "Ride safe," Buck told him. Kid held up his hand in acknowledgement and then took the pouch and rode away in a cloud of dust. "You sure look nice," Jimmy said to Lou, as he watched her rinsing the breakfast dishes. "Thank you." She didn't look at him as she scrubbed. "Lou...?" Lou turned to look at Jimmy, now standing awkwardly in front of her. "About what I said before...I'm sorry." "Thank you for saying that." "I didn't mean it...I just was surprised." "About Buck?" Jimmy nodded. "What made you so sure that something had happened?" "The way you looked at each other. I could see it." Lou blushed. She didn't think it was that obvious. Jimmy turned to go, then looked back over his shoulder. "It ain't gonna be easy you know." "Life's never been that easy for me, Jimmy." She smiled. "That ain't what I'm talkin' about." Lou looked away for a moment, and took a breath. "Maybe not, but I have to try. I know this is right." "I hope somebody'll feel that way about me someday." Jimmy smiled sadly. "They will," Lou assured him, "but you have to open your heart first." A little while later, Lou came in to Emma's with a change of clothes and opened the door to the spare bedroom. She found Buck lying on the bed. He smiled and sat up as she entered the room. Getting up from the bed, he didn't say anything, and neither did Lou. Buck just held out his arms and she hurried into his embrace. "You looked beautiful this morning," he whispered, smoothing her tousled hair with his hand. Lou smiled up at him, "Were you surprised?" "Just a little." Still holding her, Buck traced the design on the cameo with his finger. "Why did you do that?" "I wanted to wear the dress for you. And I wanted everyone else to see it too. I guess it was the easiest way I could think of to show them that we were....together." "I think they got the message," he laughed. "You should've seen their faces when I first walked in." Buck smiled, then leaned down to kiss her. The kiss was soft, but there was passion behind the tenderness. Lou broke away first, and glanced at the clothes she was still holding. "I need to change. I guess I can't do my chores in this." Buck raised an eyebrow and moved to unbutton the first button of her dress. "Need any help?" Lou sighed as Buck unbuttoned the first button, then the second. She reached up and pulled him close for another kiss. He caressed her lips with his tongue and deepened the kiss. The clothes in Lou's hands dropped to the floor. After a few seconds, Buck began nuzzling her neck "We can't do anything here..." Lou said breathlessly. "I know...you feel so good," he whispered. At that moment, a knock on the door brought them back to reality. "Come in," Lou called, smoothing her dress. Emma opened the door, and looked the young couple up and down. "Buck, why don't you give Lou some privacy so she can get changed...actually, you can take a ride with me if you'd like, I've got some errands to run." "Yes ma'am." Buck glanced at Lou as he started to follow Emma out of the room, and signed *I love you* "Pick up you clothes off the floor Louise", Emma admonished, stifling a laugh when she saw the young woman blush. "Buck..." Lou called to him as Emma headed back to the kitchen. "Maybe we can go for a walk later when I finish my chores?" Buck nodded, and hurried after Emma. On the ride into town, Emma noticed that Buck was still favoring his left arm. "Does your shoulder still hurt?" she asked him as they pulled to a stop in front of Tompkins' store. "Just a little," Buck replied. "I can't figure out what's wrong with it. Doc keeps saying I should be fine, but it seems to be getting worse instead of better." Emma nodded. "Why don't you go over to Doc's office and have him check it over once more?" she suggested. "Be sure to tell him what's happening. If he doesn't know how much it hurts and when, he can't help you." Buck nodded. "You sure you don't need my help here?" he asked. "I'm not sure how much help you would be," smiled Emma. "Mr. Spoon doesn't want you lifting anything, and I think he may be right in having told you that. Now run along. If you're not back when I'm done, I'll meet you at the doctor's office." She turned and went into the store while Buck made his way across the street. While he sat waiting for the doctor, Buck thought about how lucky he was that the others were so accepting of his relationship with Lou. He knew that they accepted him as a friend, but he was still a bit surprised that no one had tried to point out that he wasn't good enough for Lou because he wasn't white. He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't hear the doctor the first time he spoke to him. "Arm still troubling you?" Doc repeated as he gently touched Buck on the shoulder. The surprise and the pain caused Buck to wince. "A bit," he finally replied. "It seems to be worse today than it was yesterday." "Anything happen to make things different?" Doc asked as he helped Buck take off his vest and shirts. "I can't..." he stopped speaking as he recalled Jimmy's hand on his shoulder. "I wouldn't think it would matter that much," he said softly. "What?" asked the doctor. "One of the other riders kind of squeezed my shoulder yesterday when I got back to the station," Buck said. "He didn't really do anything more than this," he continued as he showed the doctor what had happened. "I see," Doc said. "What happened to you when he did that?" "I almost blacked out," Buck replied. "My shoulder has been a bit achy ever since then," he finished. Doc carefully examined Buck's neck and shoulder. "I think that it may be broken," he said. "My guess is that when the man hit you, he cracked something. Your friend just helped it finish." Buck just stared at the ground. He knew from experience that broken bones took a few weeks to heal. "How long is it going to hurt?" he asked. "I need to be able to move it to do my job." The doctor continued to examine Buck's shoulder. When he touched Buck's back halfway between his shoulder and neck, Buck couldn't stop the moan. "I think I found the break," Doc said. "This is going to hurt," he continued, "but then it should feel better by this evening." He worked on getting the bone back together correctly and then wrapped Buck's shoulder. As he continued to secure Buck's arm to his body, he said, "I realize this isn't what you wanted to happen, but it will get better quicker if you don't use it at all." Buck simply nodded. When the doctor finished wrapping his shoulder and arm, Buck took a deep breath before asking, "How long?" "I'd give it a couple of days like this," Doc said. "After that, it will depend on how you're feeling." Buck once more nodded. He moved slowly as Doc helped him put his shirts back on. They had just started with Buck's vest when Emma entered the office. Her smiled faded as she took in the scene in front of her. "How bad is it?" she asked moving to stand next to Buck. Doc looked at her. "I really think he'll be able to use his arm again in just a couple of days. Then, if he takes it easy for about a week, he should be almost as good as new." Emma nodded. "Will you be stopping by in a few days to check up on him?" Doc nodded. Buck stood. "Thanks, Doc," he said. "I'll see you in a few days." He turned and slowly made his way out of the office and back to the buckboard. The ride back to the station was a quiet one, as Emma gave Buck time to think about what lay ahead of him the next few days. When they pulled into the yard, Ike walked over to greet them, but his smile faded when he saw the look on Buck's face. *What's wrong?* "You're going to have to help me keep Buck out of trouble for a few days, Ike." Emma let Ike help her down from the buckboard. Buck managed to get down by himself, despite his injury. *What happened?* "Doc says I broke my arm." Ike's gaze widened in surprise. "It'll be okay in a couple of days, as long as I don't move it much 'til then." "Come on in the house, Buck, I'll fix you something to eat." "No thanks; I think I'll just go over to the bunkhouse for awhile. I won't do anything", he added, seeing the looks on their faces. As he walked past the barn, the sound of laughter made Buck pause. He turned to see Lou and Jimmy coming outside. Jimmy had his arm halfway around Lou's waist, and they were both laughing about something. It seemed very intimate, and Buck suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Just then, Lou glanced up, her eyes locked with Buck's. "Hey," she smiled, "are you back already?" Buck didn't answer; he just kept walking. "Buck?" Lou tried to catch up with him. "Wait a minute..." Chapter Sixteen Buck opened the door to the bunkhouse, still not looking at Lou. "I need to be by myself for awhile. Just go back to your chores...or whatever you were doing." Lou watched him sit down heavily on his bunk and then immediately turn his back to her, and tried to figure out what might be wrong. "Did something happen in town?" "No." "Hey Buck." Jimmy came in with a smile, "it's about lunch time, you'd better get a move on or there won't be any left." "I'm not hungry," Buck said flatly. Lou sat on the edge of the bed, "Is your arm still hurting?" "My arm is broken." Buck turned and glared at Jimmy. "Broken? But you..." Lou stopped herself from saying anymore since Jimmy was in the room, but she wondered how Buck could have made love to her the way he did with a broken arm. Jimmy looked down at the floor, red-faced. "I'm sorry Buck..." "Don't matter. It's not like I'm good for much anyway." Lou looked back and forth between the two men, knowing she must be missing something. Just an hour ago, Buck had been so happy, now he seemed mad at the world. "I'm sorry," Jimmy said again, and not knowing what else to do, he made a quick exit. "What's he talking about?" "Nothing. You'd better get going if you want any lunch." Buck still hadn't really looked at her. "Why are you acting this way? It's as if you're trying to get rid of me." Buck shrugged, and his silence frustrated Lou even more. She knew him well enough to know that he was upset about something, and just trying to push her away. Suddenly, it dawned on her. "You saw me and Jimmy didn't you?" Buck stared straight ahead, concentrating on some invisible spot on the wall. "I tripped Buck. We were talking about Cody and he made me laugh, then I tripped and he caught me...that's all it was." Buck turned to look at her, and she could still see a bit of doubt in his eyes. "After the time we had together, and the things we did, how can you doubt me?" Lou shook her head. "I've never been that close with anybody. You really think I would just put it aside, like it didn't mean anything?" Buck felt worse now than he had before. He hated himself for doubting her...again. Lou waited for him to say something, and when he didn't, she stood up. "I've told you I love you. I don't know what else I can do." "Lou..." Buck spoke just as she opened the door. She paused for a split second, then walked outside, closing the door behind her. "Louise, wait!" Buck approached her, and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry...it's just, it takes some getting used to." "What does?" "The idea that you could love me." Lou turned her head and saw Buck looking down at his feet, as he often did when he felt awkward or unsure of himself. "It's not easy for me either you know." That made Buck look her in the eye. "I worked a long time making sure nobody could hurt me. Like my Pa did when he left us, or like...what happened to me before I came here. That's why I was so hard on Kid...but this is different." "Why?" the question was barely more than a whisper. "Because I fell in love with you. No one's ever loved me like you do." Buck wondered if he'd heard her right, because that was exactly how he felt about her. "I can't do this by myself, Buck. Sometimes I need you to be the strong one and tell me that it's gonna be OK." Buck smiled weakly at Lou. "I'm sorry," he said. "It's just I can't believe you'd really chose me. I promise to do my best to keep my doubts from taking over. I know we can be happy together if I can just trust that you really love me." Lou reached over and stroked his cheek. "That's all I can ask you to do," she said as she moved to kiss him softly. She smiled at him. "Let's go to the main house and get something to eat. I'm starved." Buck shook his head. "I'm really not hungry," he said. "I think I'll just go rest for a bit." He turned to go back inside. Lou watched him walk away. As he stopped to open the door she realized that the left sleeve of his shirt was hanging loosely at his side. She followed him back inside. "You want me to bring something over here and help you?" she asked as he sat down on his bed. Buck smiled up at her. "Really," he said. "I'm not hungry. I am feeling a bit tired though. I promise I'll get something to eat later. " Lou kissed his cheek."If you're sure," she said. "I really am starved." "Go ahead," Buck replied as he started to take off his vest. When he moved to take off his boots, Lou quickly dropped to the floor in front of him. "Let me get those," she said. "Then I'll go and let you rest. I'll be sure Emma saves you something for later." Buck smiled his thanks. "Tell Jimmy I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have been so angry with him. It's not his fault I'm hurt, even if he..." Buck stopped speaking and looked at Lou. "Just tell him I'm sorry." Lou nodded. "Some time later you're going to have to tell me what happened between you two. We promised not to keep secrets, remember?" Buck nodded. "Later," he said. "I need to talk to Jimmy first." Lou once more kissed Buck's cheek. "Hope you feel better after you rest," she said as she left the bunkhouse and went to eat. Buck watched her go once more amazed at how lucky he was. She really loved him - not Kid, not Jimmy, Him! He closed his eyes and was soon sleeping soundly with pleasant dreams of what lay ahead. Chapter Seventeen After lunch when the other riders went back to their chores, Teaspoon decided to go check on Buck. He found him still resting and decided not to bother him. As he watched Buck rest, Teaspoon realized why Emma had insisted that they eat over at her house instead of in the bunkhouse like they normally did - she realized that Buck needed to rest and that he would not have had this chance if the others had all been here. As he turned to leave, Buck opened his eyes. He stared at Teaspoon a few moments before the dream he'd just finished faded completely. "How you feeling?" Teaspoon asked, when he could tell Buck was really awake. "Been better," Buck replied, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. This simple task required a great amount of concentration with his arm tied the way it was. "I feel so useless," he said, when he finally managed to get settled. "How long did Doc say you needed to keep it this way?" Teaspoon said, sitting next to him. "He said a couple of days at least; he'll have a better idea when he comes out to check on it later." Teaspoon nodded. "You need to keep it tied like that until he comes?" he asked. Buck simply nodded. "He wants to make sure I don't use it." He looked from Teaspoon to the table across the room. "I'm not even sure if I can feed myself without making a mess," he said softly. "I know I can't get dressed without help; Lou had to take off my boots awhile ago just so I could lie down." Teaspoon placed his hand gently on Buck's shoulder. "We'll all help in whatever way we can," he said. "The others are all concerned that you're hurt; Jimmy is taking it really hard. Any reason why that should be?" Buck took a deep breath. "He feels responsible," Buck said. "I really need to talk to him before I discuss this with anyone else." Teaspoon nodded. "I'll have him bring over your food. He can stay and help you if you need it." Buck smiled at him. "Thank you," he said. "I'd like that." Teaspoon returned the smile. "That's what family is for," he said. "Now, you make your way over to the table and I'll have Jimmy over here in no time." Buck made his way over to the table and somehow managed to get the chair adjusted so that he was sitting at the table properly when Jimmy walked in. "I'm glad you're feeling better," Jimmy said as he put the plate of food he'd carried over in front of Buck. Buck looked up at him. "Thank you," he said. As he tried to pick up his fork, he tried to think of what he was going to say to Jimmy. Finally, he gave up trying to get the fork to cooperate and just picked up a piece of the meat with his hand. "I'm sorry," he said, before he took a bite. "About what?" Jimmy asked. "Having to use your fingers?" Buck shook his head as he quickly finished chewing. "No," he said. "Well," he paused, "Yes, that too." He smiled weakly. "I'm sorry for the way I behaved earlier. I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you; I was just frustrated about my arm." Jimmy nodded. "Seeing me with my arm around Lou didn't help any either," he said. "I know. I would feel the same way if our places were traded." He paused and flashed Buck a grin. "Besides," he continued, "it's not like you didn't have anything to be upset with me about. I am the one who broke your arm." Buck shook his head. "Not really," he said. "I mean, you are the one who squeezed it last, but the man who hit me is the one who cracked it." He returned Jimmy's grin. "I didn't help it any by using it for the next two days either. I knew it was sore and I still..." he stopped speaking. Jimmy nodded. "I understand," he said. "You didn't exactly keep it totally immobile." He laughed. "Still..." Buck cut him off, "It's not your fault." Jimmy sighed. "If you say so," he replied. After a few seconds, he reached over and picked up the fork lying next to Buck's plate. "Want me to help?" he asked. Buck nodded. "Thanks," he said. "I just can't get the hang of using my right hand for eating; I've tried it before. I always end up making a mess." Jimmy maneuvered some food onto the fork and fed it to Buck. As Buck was eating, Jimmy said, "I need to apologize to you also. I shouldn't have said the things I did yesterday. There's no reason for Lou not to care for you. I was just..." Buck once more cut in, "I know," he said. "I would have felt the same way if it had been you who came home with her. I still can't believe she feels the way she does about me. It's going to take some getting used to." Jimmy nodded. "All I can say is that you sure are one lucky man." Buck agreed, and took a swallow of the lemonade Emma had sent over for him. With Jimmy's help, he soon finished the meal. "Can I get you to help me with one more thing?" he asked as Jimmy prepared to take the dishes back over to Emma. "Sure," Jimmy said. "I can't get my boots back on, and I'd like to go outside. I need to do something so I don't feel totally useless." Jimmy assisted Buck and the two of them were soon on their way back over to Emma's to see what there was for Buck to do. On the way over, Buck told Jimmy that Lou wanted to know what had happened between the two of them. Jimmy agreed that they should tell her, but that they needed to make sure she knew they had talked it out first. "Let's tell her tonight after dinner," said Buck. "She's wanted to go for a walk earlier, maybe the three of us can go somewhere and talk." As they entered Emma's, Jimmy made his excuses and went back to working in the stables. Buck smiled at Emma. "Thank you for allowing me to eat late," he said. "I know that you didn't have to do that." Emma smiled back. "You looked like you could use some time alone," she said as she moved to stand beside him. "You feeling better?" Buck nodded. "I just feel so helpless and useless," he said as he sat in the chair Emma pulled out for him. "I can't even move my fingers the way Doc has me wrapped up." Emma studied Buck closely. "I hadn't noticed how tightly he had you bandaged. He did say it was just for a couple of days. Maybe I can find some things you can do for me that won't need but the one hand." Buck smiled at her. "That would be nice," he said. "I really don't like not having anything to do." Emma thought for a few minutes before asking, "Can you write with your right hand?" Buck nodded. "I had to learn; the nuns insisted. They finally gave up on forcing me to eat using it when they noticed that I wasn't getting much food; they insisted on the writing though." Emma smiled. "Great," she said. "I have a few things I need taken care of that require some writing. Would you mind?" "I'd be happy to help," Buck said. Emma smiled. "You stay here; I'll go get the supplies." She returned a few minutes later with some paper, ink, and a pen. "Just copy this onto each of these cards," she said as she laid the items in front of Buck. He nodded his understanding and began his task. This is how Teaspoon found him a while later when he came to check on him. As Buck finished up the notes for Emma, Teaspoon sat and watched how carefully he worked. "Nice job," Teaspoon commented when Buck finished with the last note. "Thank you," said Buck. "The sisters were pretty particular about how neatly we did our work. I guess it stuck better than I'd thought it would." "You feeling any better?" Teaspoon asked. Buck nodded. "You have anything I can do to help out?" he asked. "I know I can't do much, but..." Teaspoon studied the boy in front of him. He smiled as he realized that almost all of the others would be taking advantage of this unexpected time off. "I'll see what I can find," he said. "You think you could curry a few horses?" Buck nodded. "If someone will help me get brushes ready," he said. "I think I could manage." "Let's go find out," said Teaspoon as he gathered the writing supplies and put them in the middle of the table. "I'll tell Miss Emma that I'm taking you with me." The two of them were soon in the barn. Once there, Teaspoon had Lou assist Buck in getting his materials ready. He smiled as he returned to his room - pleased with himself for managing to get the couple a little moment of time together. As Lou spread out the brushes Buck was going to need, Buck said, "I talked to Jimmy. He wants to help me explain what happened between us." He quickly added, "Everything is fine now," when he saw Lou's eyes start to darken with anger. Lou relaxed. "When did you want to have this little talk?" she asked. "I was thinking that after supper the three of us could go down by the river," said Buck. "I'm pretty sure no one will bother us there." Lou nodded. "I'll go get you a horse," she said. "Why don't you see if you can pick up the brushes and put them back down. That way, we'll know if you can do this when I get back." Buck quickly kissed her cheek. "Yes Ma'am," he said with a smile. Lou laughed as she left the barn to gather in one of the mounts that had been left outside the last few days. She returned shortly and secured the animal to the post in the middle of the barn. Buck slowly approached the horse and began to brush the dirt and grime off its back. He talked softly to the animal as he worked so as not to spook it. After a few minutes, Buck turned to Lou. "You think you could tuck this sleeve into the top of my pants?" he asked. "I don't want it to spook him." Lou nodded and soon had the material tucked securely into Buck's waistband. As she finished, she let her hand travel down the front of Buck's body. Buck moved away from her just a bit. "As much as I enjoy having you touch me," he whispered as he glanced at the open barn door, "I don't think this is the time or place to start something." He took a deep breath as he continued, "Besides, it's not like I can do much of anything with my arm this way." Lou simply smiled as she once more placed her hand on him. She leaned in and captured his mouth with her own as she gently squeezed him. "Too bad," she said as she broke off the kiss. "I was hoping we could..." she stopped speaking and moved quickly away from Buck as Cody's shadow fell at their feet. "Teaspoon," Cody called as he entered the barn. "I finished..." he stopped speaking as he noticed Lou and Buck standing next to the tethered horse looking like the cat that ate the canary. He simply shook his head before asking, "Either of you know where Teaspoon is?" "He left the barn a few minutes ago." Lou answered. Cody turned to leave. "Whatever you were doin' I don't wanna know." They watched Cody leave and Lou started to giggle. "That was close," Buck commented. For quite a while, Buck and Lou worked together, talking about the horses, and whatever else came to mind. Buck had been afraid that after this change in their relationship, they wouldn't be able to work side by side, but he was glad to see that he was wrong. If anything, things flowed more smoothly between them, because the tension that Buck had felt before was gone. Lou brought in another horse, and as Buck set to work, he turned to look at her. "Are we finished yet?" "Almost. Are you getting tired?" Buck shook his head, "No, I just wondered. I wonder how come nobody else has come in here?" Lou's eyes twinkled. "Who knows what Cody told them. They're probably afraid to walk in on us." Buck laughed out loud, and the sound of his laughter warmed Lou's heart. She watched him work, and thought to herself how lucky she was that she had asked to take that run with him. If she hadn't, she wondered if he ever would have had the courage to tell her how he felt, or if she would have realized how much she loved him. Glancing at the barn door, Lou stood up, and walked over to Buck, taking the curry brush out of his hand. "What...? She silenced him with a kiss, and when he tried to pull away, she persisted. It didn't take much for him to give in and kiss her back, letting his arm slip around her waist. She broke the kiss, and taking him by the hand, led him toward the hayloft. Buck shook his head, "Louise, what are you doing?" She tucked her chin to her chest and looked up at him, with a mischievous smile, motioning him to follow her. It was a look he had seen many times, only this time it was meant for him. There was no way he could resist. He followed her up to the hayloft and she had him sit with his back against the wall, immediately crawling between his legs and kissing him again, caressing his face with her hands. He let her open his lips with her tongue, but after a moment, he stopped. "Lou, I don't think this is a good idea..." "Stop thinkin' and just enjoy it." she said, in a somewhat scolding tone. Then she smiled, and kissed him again. As he felt her lips against his, he sighed. So many times, he had dreamed of something like this. Now it was real, and Buck realized that Lou was right. He had wanted her for so long, now she was here, so why was he fighting it? Lou let her lips trail down to his neck and behind his ear. Her breath against his skin made him shiver. "I can't..." "Don't worry about what you can't do. Just tell me if I hurt you." She covered his lips with hers and as her tongue slipped into his mouth, she moved her hand down the front of his body, unfastening his pants. As her hand slipped beneath the waistband of his long johns to touch him, he groaned. He was already hard, and as she massaged him, she felt him pulse against her hand. She pulled his pants down past his knees, and she unbuttoned his shirt so that she could kiss his chest. With his free hand, Buck pulled Lou close and kissed her fiercely. Suddenly, Lou broke the kiss and moved down between his legs, taking him in her mouth. She heard Buck's sharp intake of breath as her lips closed around him. Her movements were fast and sure and he came quickly, struggling to catch his breath and she sat up. Lou leaned forward and kissed him, and Buck could taste himself on her lips. He was still trying to focus when he realized that Lou had her own pants down to her knees. He watched in fascination as she slipped a hand inside her pantalets, to touch herself. When a soft moan of pleasure escaped her lips, Buck heard himself moan too. Lou leaned close to him, allowing their foreheads to touch. "I'm wet...see..." She brought her hand up to his face and slowly traced his lips with her glistening finger, then pushed it inside his mouth so he could suck. After a moment, she pulled it out, waiting for his reaction. "Do it again..." he panted. He watched as Lou's hand again disappeared beneath the silk fabric to move back and forth. This time when she brought it out, he grabbed her wrist and brought her fingers to his mouth. At the same time, he moved his own hand between her legs, touching first on the outside of her undergarment and then moving the fabric aside to touch her. This combination of sensations was too much, and Lou let out a loud moan. For a moment Buck worried that someone might hear them, but he was too far gone to care. He reached up and pulled her pantalets down, and Lou shifted slightly to get them out of the way. He pressed his thumb against her and she gasped, moving against his hand. "I want to be inside you..." he said raggedly, and Lou looked down to see that he was hard again. She moved up slightly and settled herself on top of him, letting out a sigh of pleasure as he filled her. As she began to move, Buck placed his right hand on her stomach, so that he could stroke her with his thumb. Lou began to move, and was soon gasping for breath as her own climax neared. Suddenly, Buck gripped her waist with his hand and forced her to come down on him hard. Lou climaxed immediately, throwing her head back as waves of pleasure overtook her. Buck came too, points of light bursting behind his closed eyes. Lou was still panting for breath, and she braced her hand on the wall behind them, to keep from falling on Buck's chest. He scooted down so that he was lying flat on the floor, and rolled Lou onto her back next to him. She smiled as he leaned down to kiss her. "You are amazing," he whispered. "You don't think I'm a horrible person?" His brow knitted with concern. "Why in the world would I think that?" "Because...I feel so...wanton. Lust is one of the seven deadly sins." "Not when you're in love," he smiled. "I am in love with you", she smiled back, "and I'm going to keep telling you that until you get tired of hearing it." "I'll never get tired of it. And I don't think I'll ever get enough of you." Buck leaned down to kiss her neck and Lou giggled. Just then Buck put a hand over her mouth. "Shh.'' Somebody had come into the barn, but after a minute or two, all was silent again. "I wonder who that was?" Lou whispered. Buck shrugged, and pulled Lou closer. They were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. Lou saw the thin scar on Buck's chest and touched it with her fingertip. He'd had that scar since just before Ike was taken by the Kiowa, but had never spoken about it. "What happened here?" she asked. "Nothing." Buck drew her hand away from his chest and held it. "Please tell me. I want to know who hurt you." "My brother." Lou's big eyes showed the shock of hearing that answer. "Why?" She wondered what kind of man Red Bear must be, to hurt Buck that way, knowing how much he had already been through. "He was mourning me," Buck tried to explain. "Before the Kiowa took Ike, he tried to get me to leave the Express and come back to the village. I told him I wouldn't go. He couldn't understand why I would choose his enemy over the Kiowa. I hated hurting him, but..." Lou remembered Teaspoon trying to explain to all of them how torn Buck felt when the Kiowa had begun their attacks on the Express. Even though that was over now, Lou's heart ached for him all over again. "That must have been a hard thing to do. To turn away from your brother. Do you miss him?" "Sometimes. But I knew I couldn't go back. There was nothing for me there anymore. Besides, I couldn't leave Ike. Or you." Buck kissed her softly on the forehead. Lou reached up to hug him and he winced in pain when she touched his shoulder. "Sorry..." she apologized, and put her arm around his waist instead. "You must miss your brother and sister too," Buck said. "I think about them all the time. I just hope they don't hate me for leaving them. As soon as I get enough money saved up, I'm gonna get them out of there." Buck smiled at her, "I know it's hard, but this is the way things have to be. At least for now. They'll understand. If not now, then when they're older." "I hope you're right." Both of them were silent then, each wondering what the future would bring, and each hoping that there would be a place for them in the other's life. "I wish we could just stay here the rest of the day," Lou sighed. "I wish I could put both arms around you, and make love to you properly." Buck kissed Lou firmly on the lips, and pulled her tight against him. After a moment they parted, and Lou reached down to touch him, stroking gently. "This is pretty nice..." she whispered, letting Buck kiss her neck. For some reason, at that moment, reality intruded on her thoughts. "Buck, what time is it?" They looked at each other, and realized they were late. They hurried toward the bunkhouse, slowing down just outside the door. There was no avoiding it, better to just get it over with and hope the teasing wouldn't last too long. They opened the door, to the sight of everyone else sitting down at the table, the meal already underway. "Hey," Cody called jovially, "we was gonna wait for ya, but the food started gettin' cold, so..." Both Lou and Buck quickly took their seats, avoiding everyone's stare. "Thank you," Buck said as Emma handed him his plate. He wondered how he was going to eat, but figured he'd muddle through somehow. "You get them horses done?" Teaspoon asked. "Yes sir..." "I'm sorry we're late," Lou began, "it was just..." "Must've been Buck's arm slowed him down." Cody offered a twinkle in his eye. Lou glanced at Jimmy, who simply stared at his plate, not laughing at Cody's joke. *You've got straw in your hair* Ike signed to his friend. Buck quickly reached up and took a piece of straw out of his long hair. His dark skin turned even darker with embarrassment. "That's enough," Emma scolded, sitting down next to Lou. Thankfully, that seemed to be the end of the subject. Lou glanced at Buck, who struggled to eat with his right hand. She wanted to help him, but there was no way she was going to offer to feed him in front of everybody. "Lou," Teaspoon spoke up and Lou started slightly, looking up at him. "Yes sir?" "You're next on the schedule. Gotta a run to St. Joe in the mornin', probably take you a couple of days. You feel up to it?" Lou was immediately torn. This would be her first run since Teaspoon found out her secret, and a chance for her to prove that she could still do her job as good as anyone else. But she hated leaving Buck. She stole a glance at him, but he was looking intently at the food on his plate. "Sure," she answered, trying to sound casual. "Good. You'll be leavin' at first light. So make sure to get some rest. And that goes for all of you. A lots been goin' on the last couple of days, and we still got a job to do." Lou simply nodded and returned her attention to the food on her plate. She hated the thought of being away from Buck for any amount of time, but knew that it would be impossible for them to be together all the time - they both still had to work. Chapter Eighteen With a sigh, Buck put the fork back down on the table. He sat staring at the food in front of him trying to figure out how to eat it, wishing he could ask for assistance without feeling that it would be making him look totally useless. Jimmy glanced at Buck and realized what the problem was. He quietly got up from his place and moved his chair next to Buck. "Let me help," he said. "We did alright earlier." Buck smiled weakly. "Thanks,' he mumbled."I feel so stupid." "Don't," said Jimmy. "No one else here can do any better. We all tried before you got here." Cody nodded. "I don't see how you do that everyday. I'd starve!" Everyone laughed and Buck relaxed as Jimmy helped him eat. Before long, he'd managed to finish the meal without making a mess. As Jimmy helped him push the chair away from the table, he turned to Lou. "You want to have that talk now?" Lou nodded. She started to go out the door when Emma said, "Lou, I'd like you to help me get things back over to the house. That way you can gather your belongings and bring them back over here before it gets too dark." "Yes, Ma'am," Lou replied. As she passed by Jimmy and Buck she said, "I'll be back as soon as I can." Once Emma and Lou reached Emma's house, Emma said, "I want to talk to you for just a minute before you go back. I noticed that you and Buck both had a bit of straw stuck to your clothing. I didn't say anything before, but..." Lou dropped her gaze. She knew what was coming, and if truth be told was surprised that it hadn't come earlier. "I really..." Emma raised her hand and stopped Lou from speaking, "I don't want you to say anything; just listen." Lou nodded. Emma moved to the sofa. "Come and sit," she said as she patted the cushion next to her. Lou joined her. "I realize that you care deeply for Buck," Emma said. "I know that he feels the same way about you," she added when Lou once more tried to speak. "I just want to ask you to think carefully about what you're doing. What happens when you end up expecting a baby? Have you even given that any thought?" Lou looked up at her and shook her head. "Is that really the way you want people in town to discover your secret?" Emma asked. Lou once more shook her head. "I didn't think so," Emma said. "I have no idea what kind of upbringing you had on this matter, and I'm pretty sure that Buck doesn't feel this type of behavior is wrong, but..." Lou simply nodded. "I was taught that this behavior was to take place between people who were married," she whispered. "I didn't mean for it to happen; it just..." Emma placed her hand on Lou's. "I understand completely," she said. "Really." She smiled. "I'm just asking that the two of you give it some serious thought before you continue. Maybe these next few days apart will be a good thing for the two of you. You can see if this is real, or it really is just a result of the circumstances that you found yourselves in." Lou returned Emma's smile. "I love him, Emma. I know that he loves me too. It wasn't just the circumstances. I'll give what you said a lot of thought; I'll talk to Buck about it too. Thank you for not judging us and throwing us out." Emma hugged Lou to her. "I'd never throw you out," she said. "I just wanted to make sure you were thinking about all the possibilities. Now, get back over to the bunkhouse. If I'm not mistaken there's a couple of young men over there who have something to explain to you." Lou hugged Emma once more before gathering her things and returning to the bunkhouse where Jimmy and Buck were waiting. As she made her way to the bunkhouse, Lou thought about what Emma had said. In the back of her mind, she'd known all along that she and Buck were taking chances with their behavior. She'd thought about the same thing with Kid, but as it turned out, she ended up avoiding his advances more often than not, so it didn't seem to be much of an issue. With Buck it was different. She wanted him - all the time. It was frightening and exhilarating, and she knew that they needed to talk to each other about it, no matter how embarrassing it might be. Then again, after the things they had shared, why should they be embarrassed? She realized that after the talk with Jimmy, maybe she and Buck needed to have a discussion of their own. She sighed, realizing that she probably wouldn't get as much sleep as she needed for tomorrow's run. When she opened the door to the bunkhouse, she found Buck and Jimmy sitting at the table, waiting for her. "Hi," she smiled. Both men smiled at her, rather awkwardly, and she became even more curious about their "talk". They made conversation as they walked over the rise behind the bunkhouse, Jimmy on one side of Lou and Buck on the other. Buck didn't hold her hand, but instead guided her along with his hand at the small of her back. Twilight had begun to descend when Lou finally spoke up. "Is somebody going to start talking, or are you gonna make me wonder about this all night?" "It ain't that easy," Jimmy said, looking up at the sky. "You're startin' to scare me, Jimmy," Lou told him, as she saw Jimmy and Buck glance at each other. "You're gonna be mad," he stated matter-of-factly. "I'm gonna be furious if you don't say somethin'," she countered. "What happened?" She looked back and forth between them, as each of them studied the ground. "Buck?" "I broke his arm," Jimmy finally said, his voice louder than necessary, since Lou was standing right next to him. "You what??" Lou's tone was even, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Jimmy and Buck stopped too, and Jimmy finally looked Lou in the eye. "It's my fault. I grabbed his shoulder..." "What are you talking about? You knew he was hurt, didn't you? Teaspoon said..." "Yeah, I did, and I did it anyway," Jimmy admitted. Buck raised an eyebrow at Jimmy's confession. He didn't sugarcoat it all, and Buck admired his honesty. "Is this because of Kid?" Lou demanded her voice full of anger now. "Because you thought I was betraying him?" "Not really," Jimmy answered his voice very quiet. "Then why? Why would you hurt him?" "Lou," Buck interrupted his hand on her shoulder. "Let him talk." "I am lettin' him talk," she snapped. "He's just not making any sense!" "I didn't mean to hurt him Lou; I just wanted to be sure..." Jimmy stopped not at all sure how he was going to explain this. Lou tried to wait patiently, but Jimmy wasn't making it easy. "I wanted to be sure that he was telling the truth, about being hurt and..." "So you decided to take it upon yourself to prove it?" Lou asked, trying to control her anger. "Yeah. I didn't want to think he was lying to you." "Because that's something you would do, right?" Jimmy looked down at his feet, his face red with embarrassment. "Hickok, I could punch you right in the...." "Louise!" Buck stopped her from finishing. "It's alright," Jimmy told Buck. "I deserve that." "When did this happen?" Lou demanded. "Right after you hit me. When you ran out, Buck accused me of thinking he wasn't good enough for you. Kid came in to tell us he'd seen you running over to Emma's....Buck stood up and, then he almost passed out." Lou looked at Buck for confirmation, and he nodded. "As soon as I realized what had happened, I felt awful. It was stupid, and I'm sorry. If I could take it back..." "Too late for that," Lou told him. "I'm sorry," Jimmy said again, looking earnestly at Buck. "I've accepted your apology, Jimmy. It's alright." "Is what Buck said true? You think he's not good enough?" "Of course I don't think that!" Jimmy snapped at her now, insulted that she would think that of him. "Then I don't understand..." she began. Buck smiled to himself as he walked beside Lou. The answer was obvious, but she didn't see it. "I was...jealous I guess." Jimmy finally told her. Lou stopped again. Her eyes wide with shock. She didn't know what to say. "Pretty stupid huh?" Jimmy continued, stealing a glance at Lou. "It'd help if you'd say somethin'. Don't leave me hanging." "I...don't know what to say. I guess I never realized..." Jimmy chuckled. "That makes me feel better." he said with a hint of sarcasm. Buck slipped his arm around Lou's shoulder. "I told you that you could pick and choose. You didn't believe me, did you?" Lou looked at Buck with a stunned look on her face. She simply nodded. "I thought you were just trying to make..." she stopped. She wasn't sure what she thought Buck was doing when he'd told her that - making himself look less desperate, trying to make her feel important, what? Jimmy realized that she really didn't know how everyone felt about her. "You've never even thought about the fact that we all might be attracted to you, have you?" he finally asked. Lou turned to face him. "Why would you be?" she asked. "I'm not at all like the girls you all go goofy over in town. I mean you wouldn't even know I was a girl if it wasn't for my father kidnapping my brother and sister. How am I supposed to go from no one noticing to thinking you'd be willing to fight over me?" Jimmy simply shrugged. "I don't know," he answered. "I need you to believe me that I really didn't mean to hurt Buck," he added. "I just wanted to be sure you weren't being set up to get hurt. If I wasn't upset by the fact that you chose him instead of me, I never would have..." he let the sentence drop when Lou moved out of Buck's arm and hugged him. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world," she said as she let him go. "I have five men who all care for me, and I'm getting to keep my job." "Speaking of your job," Buck said once more placing his arm around Lou's waist. "We should be getting back so you can get to bed. You need to be leaving early in the morning." Jimmy agreed and excused himself so the couple could spend these last few minutes alone together before being separated for a few days. He knew they would want to steal a few kisses before they made their way to their separate beds. They walked on a short distance, not wanting to turn back to the bunkhouse just yet. Both were silent, Lou wondering how to tell Buck what was on her mind, and Buck wondering what he was going to do with himself while Lou was gone. "I had a talk with Emma earlier," Lou began. The uncertainty in her voice made Buck turn to look at her. "What about? Is that why she asked you to help her clean up?" Lou nodded, then glanced at Buck. "This is kind of hard to talk about...I mean I guess it shouldn't be but..." "What's wrong?" Buck smiled, trying to reassure her, and trying not to assume the worst, as he usually did. "She asked me if we'd been...careful." Lou looked at Buck again, hoping he would know what she was referring to. Buck stopped and turned to face her, "Did you tell her we hadn't?" "I hadn't really thought about it much until she asked me, but...we haven't been. What if something happens?" "Lou, I want to tell you something." Buck sounded so serious, now Lou felt apprehensive. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him. "I want you to know that you are the strongest woman I've ever known, and I love you, with all my heart. What we've been doing, I would not do if I didn't feel that way." "I know that." Lou answered, "I feel the same way." "If we were with the Kiowa, we'd be husband and wife now. That's how everyone would treat us." Lou started to speak, but Buck continued. "I know that you don't think of yourself as 'belonging' to anyone...and that's not what I mean..." Buck paused, not sure if he could explain his feelings to her. "In my heart, I'm a Kiowa and I always will be, but I know this isn't the way a white woman should be courted..." "You don't have to "court" me, Buck," she smiled. "I would never want to do anything that would cause someone else to think less of you," he told her, holding her gaze with his dark eyes. "Thank you," she said softly. "Truthfully, now I can't imagine not being able to make love to you...but if that's what you want...if you want to wait..." "No," Lou interrupted quickly. She couldn't imagine it either. "Then what do you want to do?" he asked. Lou took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She wasn't sure exactly what she wanted, but she knew that they couldn't continue the way they had been behaving. She didn't want people to find out she was a girl because she ended up expecting. Then, they'd have to deal with the prejudice against "loose women" as well as the unfair feelings towards Indians. "I want us to be together, forever, but..." She stopped speaking and looked at Buck as the tears started to fall. Buck pulled her to him the best he could with one hand. "I understand," he said. "We can't be yet because we're not ready." Lou simply nodded. "I don't have enough money to get Jeremiah and Theresa out of the orphanage. If we get married," she sobbed, "we'd both have to quit. How would I ever get enough then?" Buck hugged her even closer. He knew that even with his savings they didn't have enough money to purchase a home and be able to provide for her brother and sister. Besides, they should probably give her siblings a chance to get to know him first. Finally, as her sobs lessened, Buck let Lou go and moved to where he could look her in the eyes. "Maybe," he suggested, "we could work at being more controlled. I know that I don't want to stop being with you, but we could possibly make sure that we don't..." Lou's giggle cut him off. He grinned at her. "I guess you're right," he sighed. "Once we get started, we're not going to be sure of anything." Lou leaned in and kissed him. "Thank you for understanding," she said. "I know a few men who wouldn't. I'm sure we'll think of something, besides once you get back to work it's not like we're going to have tons of time alone anymore." Buck smiled at her. "That's true," he said as he once more wrapped his arm around her waist. "I guess we'll just have to do our best to keep from getting lost in each other until we can make it 'official' in the eyes of others." They started to walk back to the bunkhouse. "What do you mean 'official'?" Lou asked after a few seconds. Buck stopped walking and once more turned her to face him. "I mean that if you'll have me, I'd like to make this a permanent arrangement in the eyes of everyone." Lou just looked at him. "You mean you want to get married?" she finally asked in a whisper. Buck simply nodded, afraid that his voice would give away the fear he was experiencing. Lou smiled at him and said, "I'd love to be your wife, but..." Buck quickly cut her off. "I know," he said. "We need to wait until we have enough money to buy us our own place, and get your brother and sister here. I also need to have another job already in place. I figure we need to spend some time with your brother and sister too; give them a chance to get to know me." He smiled as she leaned in and kissed him. "I love you, Buck," she said as she broke the kiss and took hold of his hand. "So is that a yes?" he asked, with a smile. He was still a little afraid to say the words out loud. As they turned toward the bunkhouse, Lou gave him a coy glance, "I don't think I heard a question." Buck blushed, and cleared his throat. This might not be the proposal she had dreamed of, but he'd do his best. Still holding her hand, he turned toward her and got down on both knees. Lou's eyes widened in surprise. "Louise...there is so much that I want to say to you...I don't even think I know how to say it all in English but, I feel like I've lived years in these last few days. You have made them the best years of my life. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you've made me." Buck paused for a moment and took a breath. He saw tears well up in Lou's brown eyes as he continued. "Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" Lou started to speak, but she started crying instead. This time it was because she was happy. Lou knelt down herself and put her arms around him as gently as possible. "I love you," she said again, still crying. "Is that a yes?" Buck asked, caressing her face gently and wiping away a tear. "Yes," Lou told him. "Yes, I'll marry you Buck." She took his face in her hands and kissed him. "Really? You will?" Buck knew when she started crying that she was probably going to say yes, but actually hearing it made him a little dizzy. "I will." Lou smiled. Buck pulled her close and started to laugh. It was a joyful sound. Chapter Nineteen They made their way back to the bunkhouse in something of a haze. Talking and laughing, each of them just beginning to think of a future together. As they came into the yard, Buck stopped, and pulled Lou close. He caressed her cheek with his right and, and ran his fingers through her hair. "Should we tell anyone?" Lou whispered. "Do you want to?" Lou shook her head. "Not yet. Can we keep it our secret, at least until I get back from St. Joe?" "If that's what you want, we'll do it." Buck smiled and kissed her forehead gently. Then his lips covered hers with a tender kiss. "Right now, all I want to do is make love to you, and watch you fall asleep in my arms," he said. "But since I can't do that, I guess I'll settle for a good night kiss." Lou smiled and leaned up for his kiss. His lips were warm and soft against hers, and she sighed, parting her lips for his tongue. "Nice night out, ain't it?" At the sound of Teaspoon's voice, the couple jumped apart. The older man chuckled to himself at their embarrassment. "We were just headed inside," Buck explained. "Good idea. You got an early run" he said, pointing at Lou, "and you need to rest up." Both of them nodded and turned to head up the steps of the bunkhouse. "And once you get in there, you'd better be goin' to bed to sleep." Lou blushed as she and Buck opened the door to the bunkhouse. Buck held the door open and watched as Lou made her way across the room to her bed. He slowly made his way to his own bed and sat on the edge. He sat staring at the floor trying to decide how he was going to get ready for bed and how he was going to keep from sharing his good fortune with the others until Lou got back from her run. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Ike sitting down next to him until his friend placed his hand on Buck's leg. *You alright?* he asked. Buck simply nodded. "I just don't know how I'm going to get ready for bed. I can't take off my boots." He laughed softly. Ike smiled and offered, * I can help; all you had to do was ask.* Buck nodded. "I know; it's just that..." he stopped speaking and once more stared at the floor. *I understand,* said Ike. *You don't like feeling helpless. * Buck nodded once more. "I should have known you'd understand; you always do." He sat back on the bed and let Ike remove his boots. He let Ike help him with the rest of his clothing. *You sure you're alright?* Ike asked as he helped Buck settle into bed. Buck looked over to where Lou was already drifting off to sleep. He watched her for a few seconds before looking at Ike. "I'm fine," he said. "I'm just going to miss her the next few days, and I'm worried that the doctor is going tell me I have to leave my arm like this for longer." He turned dropped his gaze to the floor. "What if it doesn't get better?" he asked. "What if I can't..." Ike placed his hand on Buck's mouth. *Don't,* he said. *Don't think like that; you're going to be fine. * Buck took a deep breath and nodded. "I hope you're right," he said. "I don't think I could handle not being able to provide for..." he stopped speaking when he realized what he was saying. When Buck didn't finish his thought, Ike simply smiled. *You'll be fine; you just need to get some sleep. * He checked to make sure Buck was settled into the bed comfortably and then climbed into his own bunk. He glanced at Lou as she slept and smiled to himself. I wonder how long they think they can keep it secret, he thought. For Buck's sake; I hope it's not long. With those thoughts he drifted off to sleep. Early the next morning, Lou woke up and quietly got ready for her run. Before she left the bunkhouse, she made her way over to Buck's bed and sat down next to him. When he opened his eyes, she smiled at him. "Sorry to wake you, but I wanted to say good-bye," she whispered. "You take care of yourself." Buck returned her smile. "I'm glad you woke me," he whispered back. "I would hate to wake to find you gone without my having been able to see you off." He moved until he was sitting next to her. "Sorry I can't actually go see you off," he said as he quickly kissed her cheek. "You'll be late if you wait for me to get dressed," he explained when she just looked at him. "Oh," she said with a slight sigh. "I didn't think about that; I just wanted to tell you to be careful. Hopefully you'll have your arm back by the time I return." Buck nodded. "I hope so too," he said. "You'd better get going or Teaspoon is going to come looking for you, and then everyone will be awake and mad." Lou giggled softly. "I'll be back as soon as I can," she said as she stood and kissed Buck's cheek. "Try not to get into any trouble while I'm gone." "Ride safe," Buck said as he watched her walk across the room. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you," he whispered softly as Lou left the building. He sat for a few minutes before once more laying down. He stared at the ceiling and thought about what lay ahead of them while he waited for the others to awaken. There was no use in his trying to get a jump start on the day; he couldn't even get dressed without help. As he waited, Buck tried to think about how Lou's brother and sister would take the news of him becoming their brother. He hoped they would be as accepting as Lou always had been, but he had a feeling that things weren't going to go that smoothly. He was soon lost in his thoughts and was startled just a bit when Ike sat on the bed next to him. *You want to get dressed?* Ike asked, *or do you want to stay in bed a bit longer?* Buck looked at Ike. "I'd love to get up and see what I can do to help out today," he said. "I don't think I can stand just lying around while everyone else has to do my chores." Ike nodded. *Want me to help?* he asked as he moved to get a change of clothes out of Buck's trunk. Buck replied, "That would be great." He managed to move so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed where it was easier for Ike to assist him putting on his shirt and pants. They decided to leave the vest off. While they were working on getting Buck's boots on, Teaspoon entered the room. "Glad to see you both up," he said. "You think you could run into town and pick up a few supplies this morning?" Buck nodded. "Yes Sir," he said. Teaspoon smiled. "Good. It appears in the confusion yesterday that a few items Miss Emma needs were forgotten. The sooner you can get them back here, the sooner we can all eat." Ike quickly donned his own clothing. *I'll go along,* he said. *That way Buck won't have to worry about carrying anything too heavy.* They were out the door before Teaspoon could object. On the way into town, Ike decided to see if his suspicions were correct. *So,* he ventured as soon as they were out of sight of the station. *Did she say 'yes'?* Buck smiled and nodded. "How did you know?" he asked. *Something you started to say last night, * Ike said. *And just watching the way the two of you are with each other. I can only guess at what happened on that last run, but...* he shrugged. Buck blushed slightly. "I'm not really sure," he said. "We were riding and Lou was asking about my dreams. I had the courage to tell her they were about her and then something spooked my horse and I fell." He stopped speaking for a bit as he thought back. "I didn't want to wake up," he said. "It was so nice just being in the darkness, not having to worry." Ike looked at Buck. He hadn't been aware of how seriously the injury had been. *What made you change your mind?* he asked. "Lou," Buck said. "She started talking to me and telling me that she needed me to wake up. Once I did, we started talking and eventually we ended up giving ourselves to each other." He glanced at Ike and then back at the road ahead of them. "If we were in the village, we'd be considered man and wife," he continued. "I simply wanted to make it the same in this world." He smiled as he recalled the previous evening and Lou's response to his question. *When did you ask her?* Ike said. "Last night right before we came back into the bunkhouse," Buck said. "She asked me not to tell anyone until she got back from St. Joe so..." Ike nodded. *I won't say a word,* he replied. *I wouldn't want her to be upset with either of us. I just needed to know that I wasn't completely insane.* Buck laughed. "Not completely," he said. "At least not yet." Ike grinned at his friend. *I'm glad you two found each other,* he said. *I think you're perfect for each other.* Buck simply smiled at his friend. He didn't know what to say in response to that. As they pulled to a stop in front of Tompkins' store, the two of them felt like nothing could ruin the day that lay ahead. They entered the store and Buck took the supplies that he could carry up to the counter. Tompkins looked at him curiously, wondering why the boy wasn't using his left arm, especially since he was left handed. "What happened to you?" "Broke my arm," Buck explained matter-of-factly. Today, even Tompkins couldn't put him in a bad mood. As Ike carried up the heavier supplies, Buck found himself looking around the store. Today he noticed several things that he thought Lou might like to have. He'd never had an occasion to notice "womanly" things before, so it took some getting used to. When he picked up a bottle of lilac water, Mr. Tompkins called out, "You break it, you buy it." Buck just smiled to himself and set the bottle back on the shelf. That's when he noticed the shawl. It was a pale rose color, just like the cameo he'd given her. He knew it was probably expensive, and that he should save his money, especially since they had just talked about needing money for their future but...it would be perfect for her. "How much is this Mr. Tompkins?" "What d'you care? You courtin' somebody?" the storekeeper asked. "How much?" Buck persisted. Tompkins motioned for Buck to bring him the shawl, and quoted him a price. Buck reached into his pocket, took out the exact amount, and handed it to the older man. Tompkins was speechless, standing there with his mouth open. "Wrap it up for me would ya?" Buck gave him a smile and headed out the door to check on Ike. *What are you smiling about* Ike asked as his friend approached the wagon. "I just found a birthday present for Lou, and I got the last word with Tompkins. I don't think this day could get any better." The two quickly made their way back to the way station. In a matter of minutes, Emma had breakfast ready and the meal on the table. Teaspoon once more divided Buck's chores among the other riders and insisted that Buck take it easy until the doctor came to check on him. About mid-morning, Jimmy stopped by to visit with Buck. "I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am," Jimmy said as he sat next to Buck on the porch of Emma's house. "I know," said Buck. "You were just trying to protect her. I'm sure everyone would have thought the same thing you did if they'd noticed how we were acting. I know I would have been suspicious if we'd been in each other's place." Jimmy simply sighed. "Yeah, but you wouldn't have suggested that she was too good for me," he finally said. "It bothers me that I even thought that." Buck looked at Jimmy. "I wouldn't have suggested that you weren't good enough, but I sure would have suggested that you think about her safety. I know you didn't do anything to deserve your reputation, but still..." he let the sentence drop and simply smiled at Jimmy. "We all have something that the rest of us can use against us," Buck finally said. "It's just a good thing that most of the time we don't dwell on the shortcomings of the others and trust that they'll be there when we need them." Jimmy stood. "Thanks," he said. "I needed to know that you really aren't mad at me. I don't think I could stand losing a friend over my stupidity." "No problem," said Buck. He watched Jimmy leave and realized that he was right about having a reason for each of them that made them a bad choice for Lou. He was a half-breed that would cause some people in town to look down on her; Jimmy had his reputations as "Wild Bill" that made being close to him dangerous; Kid would try to over-protect her; Cody was a good man, but would allow Lou to do most of the work; and Ike would also have people thinking she'd made a mistake because of his muteness. As he watched the others work, he thanked the gods that she'd chosen him despite his shortcomings. He really couldn't believe how lucky he was. When Emma called everyone in for the mid-day meal, Buck was beginning to feel a bit apprehensive about how well things were going. He wasn't used to having good luck so he was a bit worried that something bad was going to have to happen to balance the scales. He did his best not to let his worry show, but Ike noticed that something was troubling him. He managed to do a little better feeding himself, but found he didn't have much of an appetite. He missed Lou, and when Kid returned from his run halfway through the meal, Buck began to feel a bit overwhelmed. "Can I be excused please?" he asked Emma. She nodded but watched him with concern. "You feeling alright? Is you arm hurting again?" "No. I'm just not hungry." He nodded a greeting to Kid as he walked out of the bunkhouse. "What happened to his arm?" Kid asked. "Long story Kid," Cody explained as he reached for Buck's plate. "Stay gone too long and there's no tellin' what you'll miss around here." Buck walked into the barn, and for some reason, decided to go sit in the hayloft. He laughed to himself as he recalled being in this very spot the day before, with Lou. He'd never imagined that he would have a chance to experience the physical and emotional closeness that they had shared. He felt overjoyed and scared to death. What if during her time away, she had a change of heart? He had promised her he wouldn't let his doubts get the better of him, but now there was nothing for him to do but sit and think. He'd never been this happy before and in his experience, happiness didn't last long. With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep. When he woke up awhile later, he felt stiff and sore. Not having the use of his arm was driving him crazy. "Teaspoon, can I go into town and see the doctor?" "Doc said 3 or 4 days didn't he?" "But, it feels a lot better." Buck pleaded. "Rushin' it ain't gonna change anything. I know you don't like sittin' around, but you're gonna have to be patient." Buck sighed heavily and threw himself into a chair. "Miss Emma saved you some dinner, why don't you go have something to eat and then go to bed." "I just woke up," Buck grumbled. "And I'm not hungry." He stood up and walked out of the room without another word. Teaspoon shook his head, "That boy's got it bad" he thought to himself. Buck wondered around the yard of the station for a few minutes and then decided to go for a walk over to the swimming hole. Perhaps the sounds of the water and animals would help calm his troubled spirit. He hadn't planned on all the others being there. He'd about decided to turn back toward the station when Kid spotted him and came over. "Sorry to hear about your arm," he said. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Buck shook his head, "Not unless you can make it heal quicker." "How long you have to wait before you try using it again?" Buck shrugged. "Doc said a few days. He's supposed to come out and check on me so I guess I just wait until he shows up." He stopped for a second before adding, "How did you do it?" "Do what?" asked Kid, turning back to the water. "Not go crazy worrying that something happened to Lou while she was out on her run?" Buck asked. "I mean, she just left this morning and I can't shake the feeling that something's wrong. How did you stand it?" Kid turned back to face Buck. "Wait just a second," he said. "I'll get dressed and we can go someplace and talk. I don't think this is a conversation I can have right here." Buck nodded and stood silently contemplating his situation while Kid quickly donned his clothing. The two of them were soon sitting on a nearby fallen tree. "I don't remember ever feeling that something was wrong," Kid admitted. "I worried that something would happen, but not really any more than I did about anybody else. Well, at least not before she was overdue." Buck smiled at him. "I guess it's just that we've spent so much time together the last few days; it's hard to not have her around now." Kid nodded. "Especially since you can't do anything else to keep your mind off the fact that she's not here. I know working sure did help me. Want to go back to the station and see if there's anything that needs to be done?" Buck stood and nodded. "Thanks," he said. "For what?" asked Kid as he also stood. "Making this easier than you have too," said Buck. "You could have..." Kid interrupted, "I think I've always known that we weren't really in love; it's more like we both liked the idea of being in love. I can tell she really cares for you, and you told me you loved her. Who am I to get in the way?" With that he started walking back to the station. Unfortunately for Buck, there wasn't much that he could do. It was close to dark by this time, so the boys spent the evening talking with Teaspoon and Emma. Buck was pretty quiet, so much so that Ike asked him what was wrong. "Nothing. I guess." *But you were so happy this morning.* Buck shrugged. "I'm tired of taking naps and not having anything to do." *You'll be better soon. And Lou will be home before you know it. Be patient.* Ike smiled at his friend. "I'm tired of hearing that too." When it was time to turn in, the rest of the boys were asleep in no time. Buck lay in his bunk, listening to everyone else snore, or toss and turn. He kept looking at Lou's empty bed, and although he didn't feel the desperation he had felt the night that she was at Emma's, he still missed her terribly. Thinking of the time they'd had together didn't help. It just made him more restless. His body craved her, and his heart longed for her. If he was going to feel like this every time they were apart, he didn't know if he would survive being in love. Finally, he was able to quiet his thoughts and fall asleep. The next 36 hours did not go much better. Teaspoon finally announced that he was going to tie Buck to a chair if he didn't stop pacing and moping around. "You're driving me crazy boy. If it weren't for your arm, I'd make you sit in the sweat lodge for an hour at least!" The stationmaster put an arm around Buck. "You need to clear your head. You're thinkin' too hard." Buck simply looked at Teaspoon for a few seconds. "Why does my arm keep me from being able to go to the sweat lodge?" he asked. "I think that might be the best thing I could do." Jimmy looked at Buck. "You're crazy," he said. "If Teaspoon takes you in there, you'll end up hurting yourself more when you pass out." Chapter Twenty Buck glanced at Jimmy, before he could say anything Teaspoon said, "Not everyone has that reaction, Jimmy. I do believe that Buck could benefit from a good sweat. Let's go." The two men arrived at the sweat lodge in silence, and Buck waited while Teaspoon prepared everything. Once again, Buck thanked the gods for his good fortune. The first time he saw Teaspoon he thought the man must be crazy, but he quickly learned that behind the eccentric facade was one of the wisest men he had ever known. Teaspoon had spent much of his life with Indians, so he understood Buck better than most people would. He was a great source of wisdom and he had become a great friend. As they sat together, Buck could almost feel his body becoming lighter. He tried to clear his mind of everything and just breathe. "Better?" Teaspoon asked after several minutes. Buck nodded. "This thing's got you all tied up in knots don't it?" "Guess I never felt like this before," Buck explained. "How's that?" Teaspoon glanced at Buck out of the corner of his good eye. "She really loves me. As much as I love her. At least...I think she does." "Guess you're gonna have to trust her, huh?" Buck didn't answer. He reached for the ladle and poured some more water over the rocks. Steam filled the air. "Ain't this what you wanted?" Buck laughed quietly. "Yeah...but, is it always gonna feel like this?" Teaspoon looked at Buck again, waiting for him to continue. "When I'm with her, it's...wonderful. I keep thinking it can't be real, but it is. Now that she's gone...I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think about anything but her. I'm miserable." "Ain't love grand?" Teaspoon said, to no one in particular. "So I'm not crazy?" Buck asked. He continued, not waiting for an answer. "I promised myself I wasn't going to be overprotective like Kid was, I know she would hate that...but...I don't think I can stand this." Teaspoon chuckled. He felt for the boy. "You ain't crazy son. You're in love. Makes you feel everything, about 100 times stronger than you ever did before. As times goes on you might calm down a bit. Once you start back to work it'll be better. You'll just have to wait and see." "I just don't want to overwhelm her." "Somethin' tells me the feelings she has for you are a whole lot different from whatever she might have had with Kid. Don't be surprised if she don't feel the same way the next time you're on a run." Buck sat quietly for several moments, thinking about what Teaspoon had said. He'd never considered the fact that Lou would worry about him too. After a few minutes, Teaspoon spoke again. "Funny thing about you Buck...you're different from the other boys." Buck looked at Teaspoon, wondering exactly what he was referring too. "I don't mean 'cause you're Kiowa. I mean the way you handle your feelings. Hickok and Cody, they just let everything out. Kid's quiet, but he always speaks his mind, that's for sure. Ike...Ike's a little a both I guess. He's calm most of the time, but I seen him get plenty mad." "How am I different?" Buck asked. He was curious now to see what Teaspoon would say. "Well, seems to me you try your best not to let anything affect you. I know it does, but half the time I can't tell what you're thinkin'." Buck stared the rocks in front of him, not looking at Teaspoon. "You work so hard to keep it all inside; this must scare the hell out of you." Buck nodded, almost imperceptibly. "I don't like feeling out of control," he admitted. "That's just it Buck. This ain't somethin' you can control. Loving somebody is always a risk. But if you love them enough, it's a risk you're willing to take." Teaspoon watched Buck as he considered what was being said to him. "How much work you gettin' done with your arm in that sling?" Teaspoon suddenly asked. "Huh?" "Is it keepin' you from getting your job done?" "Yes," Buck looked at Teaspoon in confusion. "I can't really do anything." "Well, this is the same thing. If you love Lou as much as you say, but you're still holding back, then how is this gonna work? I know it ain't easy, but if you love her, then you gotta give it everything you got. Otherwise, what's the point?" Buck stared at Teaspoon, feeling like he'd been hit between the eyes. The pair sat silently for the next half hour, each lost in their own thoughts. After a few minutes more, Teaspoon broke the silence. "I guess we need to be getting back to the bunkhouse. The others will begin to get worried if we don't get back soon." Buck simply nodded. As they exited the lodge, he turned to Teaspoon. "Thank you," he said. "I really needed..." he stopped speaking and just smiled at Teaspoon hoping the man understood. Teaspoon returned the smile. "I know," he said. "That's why I set it up for you to ask me to bring you out here." He winked, "I realize that you boys don't like to admit you need my guidance." Buck laughed. "Thanks," he said. Teaspoon placed his arm around Buck's shoulder. "I'm sure everything will work out fine. You just need to trust her and yourself; remember - don't hold back." Buck nodded and the two of them made their way back to the bunkhouse. Teaspoon stopped off at his room and watched as Buck made his way across the yard. He was pleased to see that the boy appeared to be more relaxed. Buck entered the room to find Ike waiting for him at the table. * Are you alright? * he asked. *Really, alright?* Buck nodded. "I am now. Teaspoon really helped me to think things through." Ike smiled. *I'm glad,* he said. * I was really worried; you haven't been eating or sleeping. * Buck nodded. "I know," he said. "I'm sorry I worried you. I was just so confused with all the new emotions I was feeling. The fact that I have all day to sit around and think hasn't been helping." He stopped. "Hopefully when the doctor comes by tomorrow he'll say I can take these bandages off. It would really help if I could do some work around here." Buck was up bright and early the next morning, and instead of waiting for Doc to come to him, he took a ride into town with Jimmy. While Jimmy was doing some errands for Emma, Buck walked over to the doctor's office. "Well Buck, you're my first customer." Doc smiled at the young man outside the office. "Come on in." Doc checked him over, saying "Mmm hmm" several times before telling Buck that he could put his shirt back on. The fact that he didn't start unwrapping his arm made Buck nervous, but true to his nature, Buck said nothing. He just waited quietly for some sign of what to do next. "Looks like you're healing very well..." Buck smiled expectantly, hoping for the words he'd been waiting to hear. "But, just to be safe, I think we'd better wait a couple more days. I know how you boys like to push yourselves. I wouldn't want..." The look on Buck's face made the doctor stop speaking. He smiled and put a hand on Buck's right shoulder. "I'm sorry, Son, I just don't want you to reinjure yourself." "I won't. I promise I'll be very careful...please...this thing is driving me crazy. I can't do anything." "That's my point exactly Buck. I don't want you to do anything." Buck sighed heavily and got down from the examining table. "Come see me day after tomorrow and I guarantee we'll take that bandage off." "Yes sir," Buck answered in a flat tone. "Thank you." When Jimmy saw Buck walking toward him at the livery, he sighed. He still felt awful about hurting Buck, and the last few days the Kiowa had been even quieter than he normally was. It was going to be a long ride back to the station. Ike noticed Jimmy and Buck pulling into the yard, and immediately saw that Buck's arm was still in a sling. *What did the doctor say? Is something wrong?* "Says I gotta wait two more days so I don't 'reinjure' myself," Buck grumbled. *I'm sorry* Ike told him. *I know how much this is bothering you.* "I was just hoping I'd be back to normal when Lou got home. Is she back yet?" *No, not yet. I'm sure she'll be in by this afternoon though. That will be something for you to look forward to.* Buck nodded and smiled. He couldn't wait for Lou to get home. "Hey, Teaspoon! Got anything for me to do?" Teaspoon glanced at Buck and immediately noticed that his arm was still held hostage. "You think you can get all the horses out of their stalls?" Buck nodded and headed toward the barn. "Want me to put them in the corral, or take them to the back pasture?" he asked as he came up beside Teaspoon. "You think you can get them to the pasture?" Teaspoon asked. Buck nodded once more. "It might take most of the day, but I can get them there," he said. "I'll just have to take them a couple at a time." Teaspoon studied the boy in front of him. "Why don't you put them in the corral first, and then you can start moving them to the pasture as you feel like it. I just want them out of their stalls so the other boys can clean them all out real nice." Buck smiled at the man beside him. "Thank you," he said. "For what?" Teaspoon asked. "I just told you to do your job twice." "Exactly," replied Buck. "I won't have time to sit around and mope until Lou gets back since you've given me something to do. I just hope I'm finished by the time she gets in. I need to talk her about some of the things we discussed the other night." With that, he left Teaspoon and started to move the horses. Teaspoon watched Buck work for a few minutes to be sure he wasn't going to do anything that would bring further injury to his arm. He then went to find the other riders to see which of them was going to take on the task of cleaning the stalls Buck was emptying. By mid-morning, Buck had all of the horses out of their stalls. He leaned on the corral fence and ponder how he was going to get them all moved to the back pasture. It was a couple of miles there, and he was pretty sure he was going to have to walk it. As he planned, he kept an eye on the road from town - Lou should be home soon; hopefully before lunch. Teaspoon stopped as he made his way across the yard. "Good job," he said. "You need someone to help you get them to the pasture?" Buck shook his head. "I was just trying to figure out how I was going to get them there without having to make the trip over 40 times." Teaspoon leaned next to Buck. "You could try stringing them," he suggested. Buck smiled. "I hadn't thought of that," he said. "I could put them in groups of five; I'd only have to make the trip about 10 times." Teaspoon smiled at the boy's enthusiasm. "Why don't you take a break before you start?" he suggested. "Emma has some lemonade up at the house; go get yourself a cup. You could even sit and visit with her a bit." Buck looked at Teaspoon. "She upset with me about something?" he asked, the smile slowly leaving his face. "Nope. Just thought you might like a break; know she would." Buck's smile returned. "Lemonade sure does sound good. I guess it wouldn't hurt." He started towards where Emma sat on her porch shelling peas. After a few steps he turned back to face Teaspoon. "Thank you," he said. "What for this time?" "Understanding," Buck replied. "I realize I've been difficult..." Teaspoon raised his hand to cut Buck off. "I'm fairly certain everyone else would have been just as bad if not worse," he replied with a grin. "Could you imagine what we'd all be going through if this had happened to Cody instead of you?" Chapter Twenty-one Emma smiled as Buck walked up onto the porch. "Have a seat Buck. Want some lemonade?" "Sure." Buck started to pour himself a glass but Emma waved his hand away. "Let me do that. You'll be back to work soon enough. Just relax a bit." The two sat in silence for a few moments as Emma continued to work. Buck watched as Cody and Kid headed to the barn. Even from this distance he could tell that Cody was not happy about being selected to clean out the stalls. "I hear the doctor wants you to take it easy for a couple more days." When Buck nodded Emma smiled again. "That's probably for the best." "I guess. I'm just anxious to get this off so I can get back to work." "Bet you're anxious to see Louise too." Buck blushed and looked down at his glass. "Yeah." "To be honest Buck, I was a bit surprised when Louise first told me what had happened between you." "How come?" "I didn't think you'd ever tell her how you felt." Buck's eyes widened in surprise. He'd only recently told Ike about his feelings, but had said nothing to anyone else. "How did you know?" he asked. "Don't worry," Emma laughed, you weren't that obvious. I'm glad you decided to tell her." "Things turned out better than I'd ever hoped," Buck admitted. "I'm happy for you both. I want you to take care though..." "Lou told me what you talked about." Buck glanced away for a moment, a little embarrassed to be discussing this with Emma. It was like talking to his mother. "I want you to know that I would never hurt Lou, or put her in a position that she was uncomfortable with. I just want to make her happy." "I know that Buck." Emma reached over and squeezed his hand. "I can see how much you love her. Sometimes though, when you're in love, you can get lost in the moment. I just want both of you to think this through before you make any big decisions." Buck immediately thought about his proposal. Was Emma saying she didn't think they should get married? He hesitated a bit before asking, "Do you think we've done something wrong? Made a mistake?" he asked. Emma shook her head. "That's not what I meant," she said with a reassuring smile. "I just want you to really think about the actions you've been taking. I know that it's different for you, but..." Buck politely interrupted, "I know that I need to follow the rules of the white world. That's why Lou and I have decided to do our best to stop until we can get married." Emma studied the boy beside her. "You planning on doing that anytime soon?" she asked. Buck shrugged. "We thought it would be best if her brother and sister had a chance to meet me first, and we need to have some type of livelihood lined up first." He looked at Emma and smiled. "We aren't planning on rushing into anything; I promise." Emma returned Buck's smile. "I'm glad. I need time to properly plan a wedding." She turned back to her work as Buck finished his drink. "Thank you," Buck said, as he stood. "I need to get back to work if I'm going to get most of those horses moved to the back pasture before lunch." Emma nodded. "You're welcome. Come back if you get tired." She watched Buck go back to work and smiled as she returned to her peas. It warmed her heart to know that the two youngsters were being so mature about this decision; it gave her confidence in the belief that things were going to work out just fine. She picked up her head and looked down the road from town - I wonder what's keeping Louise, she thought. She should have been here by now. Buck spent the rest of the day making the long trip back and forth from the corral to the pasture. Every time he returned to the corral, he expected to see Lou. When he returned for the last group of horses, he couldn't help but worry that she hadn't arrived yet. Finishing with the job just at suppertime, Buck was tired and dusty. He decided to take a shower before coming in for dinner, and as he changed clothes he imagined Lou sitting at the table, and seeing her smile as he walked through the door. He was so excited to see her that he didn't even care about his arm still being in a sling. When he walked into the bunkhouse, everyone else was already eating. "Saved some for ya Buck," Cody smiled. "Thanks, I'm pretty hungry." "Well, you oughta be after the job you did today." Teaspoon commented. "That was a lot of work." "Kept me busy." Buck sat down, and tried not to look at the empty chair next to him. Lou still wasn't back. Listening to the conversations at the dinner table, Buck concentrated on his meal. He'd gotten fairly proficient at eating with his right hand, but it still wasn't easy. Finally, when he could stand it no longer, he spoke up. "Teaspoon, shouldn't Lou be back by now?" The glances that his friends exchanged told him they had already discussed the subject, and they were worried too. "I suppose," Teaspoon said lightly, "but many's the time when all you boys was late for one reason or another. I wouldn't worry too much." "Well," Jimmy began, "if she ain't back by lunch tomorrow don't you think..." "Hickok," Teaspoon cut him off with a stern look. "I said not to worry." After dinner, the boys turned in early. Ike and Kid both had runs the next day, and Buck and Cody were worn out from the days work. As he settled down in bed, Buck sighed. He wondered where Lou was, and what could be keeping her. He offered up a prayer for her safety and was almost instantly asleep. The early morning sun woke Buck and he went outside to greet the day. As he watched the world wake up, he promised himself that he wouldn't spend the day worrying. If Lou wasn't back by noon, he'd figure out a way to go looking. He wasn't sure if he could ride or not, but he knew he could walk just fine. "Morning." Teaspoon's greeting broke Buck's thoughts. "Morning. Looks like it's going to be a nice day." "Glad to hear it," said Teaspoon. "Why?" Buck asked turning to look at the station master. "I was hoping you could get the horses back into the barn today," Teaspoon said. "I'll have Cody and Jimmy help, but I figure you'll be doing most of the work." Buck nodded. "Shouldn't be a problem," he said as he turned to go inside and finish getting dressed before Emma came over with breakfast. "I'm sure she's fine," Teaspoon said as he followed Buck inside. "She's just being careful, or needed to run an errand. You boys all find something interesting when you go to St. Joe - especially when you don't have a run scheduled soon." Buck simply nodded. "I know," he said, "but I still want to go looking if she isn't here by lunch." Teaspoon smiled. "I'm sure we could organize some type of search party," he said. "Possibly even spare a wagon." "Thanks," said Buck. Teaspoon patted him gently on the back. "I wouldn't want her to get mad at me for you getting hurt again," he said with a grin. "I never like having pretty women mad at me - spoils my mood." Buck looked at the stationmaster and smiled. "I know what you mean." A little while later, as everyone sat down to breakfast, Teaspoon spoke to Emma and the boys. "I told Buck if Lou...er...Louise wasn't home by lunch, we'd go lookin' for her." Emma nodded as she sat a large bowl of oatmeal on the table. "I think that's a good idea Mr. Spoon. I'm sure she's fine, but better safe than sorry." All around the table there were nods of agreement. Ike smiled at Buck and squeezed his arm. *Try not to worry* "Thanks," Buck said quietly. "Think Lou'll be mad if we meet her comin' back?" Jimmy asked. "Well if she is, she'll have some explainin' to do." Teaspoon said. "I'm sure she's got an explanation for bein' this late, but I'd like to hear it." Buck took a deep breath and began eating his breakfast. He was worried about Lou, that was for sure, but having everyone's support did help calm his nerves a bit. An hour later, as he, Cody and Jimmy were heading back from the pasture with the first group of horses, Cody was already commenting on the distance from the pasture to the corral. "This sure is a long way. How many more times you figure we gotta make this trip?" "I don't know," Jimmy answered, "but you'd better get a move on if we're gonna be done by lunch, right Buck? Buck?" "Huh?" Buck looked at Jimmy, suddenly aware that someone was speaking to him. "You're about a million miles away," Jimmy grinned. "Sorry...I was just thinking about something." "Not something...someone. I can't believe I never knew you were sweet on her, Buck," Cody commented. Buck said nothing for a moment, then asked, "You don't think something happened to her do you?" "You mean like she found somebody better in St. Joe?" "Shut up Cody, that ain't funny," Jimmy snapped. "Sorry, I was just tryin' to lighten the mood." Buck gave the blond rider a dark stare, then looked to Jimmy to calm his fears. "I gotta be honest Buck, you know I ain't an optimist, but I'm sure we'll find her." "I hope so. I don't know what I'd do if..." "Don't think about that," Cody interrupted. "Worryin' ain't gonna do anything but make you more upset. Let's just get this done and then we'll hitch up a wagon and go lookin'." Buck was surprised at Cody's sage advice. "Thanks, Cody." The three boys quickly settled the horses into the barn and headed back for another round. "Wouldn't this be quicker if we rode?" Cody asked as they were walking back with the second batch. Buck simply nodded. "It would, but then I couldn't do it," he pointed out. "I think Teaspoon is trying to keep me busy." Jimmy smiled. "Not a bad idea," he said. "Not only does it make you think about something else; it wears you out so that once you're finished you're close to exhausted." He chuckled. "That old man's not as slow as people tend to think." With the assistance and company, the task of returning the horses to the barn was soon finished and the three young men were instructed to clean up before lunch was served. The conversation over the meal was about many things, and was kept painfully away from the fact that Lou was still not back. As Emma was clearing away their plates, Buck turned to Teaspoon and inquired, "Are you going to have someone hook up the buckboard, or do I need to try and do it myself?" Teaspoon just smiled at the boy. "Already done," he said. "Kid and Ike took care of it while you three were busy. There's even a supply of food and blankets just in case." As Buck rose from the table, Teaspoon added, "I think it would be a good idea for you to take at least one of the others with you; that way if you need assistance, you can send him back ahead of you." Buck simply nodded. "You're going to have to figure out who else goes," he said. "I don't have the time to mess with it." He walked across the yard and mounted the buckboard. Ike quickly ran after him and readied his horse. As the two of them started the horses forward, Lou came riding into the yard with a wagon of her own. "Where you going?" she asked, as she smiled at the group assembled in front of her. Chapter Twenty-two "To find you," said Buck, as he quickly dismounted and made his way to her side. She was wearing the blue dress she'd purchased to go visit her brother and sister. She looked beautiful and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and smother her with kisses. Instead he stood with his hand on her thigh, "What took you so long?" Lou glanced in the back of the wagon. "I decided to bring them home for a visit," she said. "I didn't mean to take so long; I certainly didn't think everyone would get all worked up over..." "You being over a day late?" asked Teaspoon. "When have we never gotten concerned about someone being that late?" "I'm sorry," Lou said as she let Buck help her down from the wagon. "I just wanted to have them over for a visit, and I didn't want to push them too hard. They only get to stay for a week." As Buck slipped his arm around her waist and hugged her to him, a little blond head popped up over the side of the wagon. "Louise, are we there yet?" Lou turned to look at her younger sister, Theresa. "We made it honey. Stay there just a second and I'll help you out of the wagon." Jimmy, Cody, and Emma came out of the bunkhouse just then, and the reason that Lou was so late became clear to all of them. "I hope it's alright that they're here. I couldn't leave St. Joe without seeing them, and then it was hard to say goodbye..." "Of course it's alright." Emma assured her, coming forward. "I bet we'll find plenty of fun things to do." Jimmy came forward and smiled at Theresa, "Hi there sweetheart, do you remember me?" Theresa nodded and reached for him to help her out of the wagon. Glancing at Buck as he took the little girl in his arms, Jimmy suddenly felt like he had acted out of turn. Buck just looked uncomfortable. "Jeremiah..." Lou woke her brother, who was asleep in the back of the buckboard. "We're here..." Buck offered a hand to help him down, but the youngster didn't take it. Instead he jumped down on his own. "Jeremiah, this is Emma. And you remember Jimmy and Ike...and Buck." Jeremiah looked everyone over. "I remember," he said. "Where's the other ones - Kid and Cody?" "Right here," Cody piped up moving to stand in front of Jeremiah. "So, how you been?" Buck watched quietly, and soon turned to make his way back to the bunkhouse. The toll of his worry and work getting the best of him; he suddenly felt the need to rest. Lou noticed him leaving and made her way to him. "You alright?" she asked taking his hand in hers. Buck simply nodded. "Just tired," he replied. "I was so worried, and now that your home I suddenly can't find the strength to stay standing. I'm going to go rest just a bit while you get them settled in at Emma's." Lou nodded and went back to where Theresa and Jeremiah were busy getting to know her friends. As Buck lay down on his bed and closed his eyes, he breathed another sigh of relief. He'd never been so glad to see anyone, as he was to see Lou riding up in that wagon. He wished with all his heart that he could have told her right then how much he loved her and missed her, but, circumstances being what they were, he'd have to keep that to himself for now. He laughed at the irony of the situation. Here he was, finally ready to let his feelings show, yet he still had to hide them. Before he could give it another thought, Buck was asleep. Lou smiled as she watched her brother and sister look around Emma's house. Theresa seemed awed by everything, and even though Jeremiah worked hard at keeping his guard up, she could tell that he was glad to be here too. She prayed that the week would go by slowly. "Why don't you put your things in here Theresa," Emma said as she showed the girl the spare bedroom. "You mean I get to stay in here all by myself?" the little girl asked. "That's right...unless you'd like Louise to stay with you tonight?" "Could you, Louise?" Theresa looked at Lou with big blue eyes. "Of course I could, Sugarbear. I think that would be great..." Lou answered as she was almost knocked over by the force of her sister's hug. "What about you Jeremiah?" Jimmy asked. "Since Lou's stayin' over here, we got an extra bed in the bunkhouse. Wanna stay with us?" Jeremiah didn't even try to hide the excitement in his voice. "You really want me to sleep in the bunkhouse?" "Sure..." Cody smiled. "Who'd wanna stay over here with all these women anyway?" As Emma helped Theresa put away the few things she had brought with her, and Jimmy and Cody took Jeremiah over to the stables, Lou found herself alone for a moment. She went to the window and looked over at the bunkhouse. She'd said less than 10 words to Buck since she got back, and she hadn't even told him that she loved him. Of course she couldn't do that in front of her brother and sister, but it still bothered her. She'd also noticed that Buck's arm was still in a sling. She said another prayer then, hoping that Buck was alright. "Louise..." Emma interrupted her reverie. "You alright?" Lou nodded, and glanced at Theresa. "Do you think I could leave her with you for a minute?" Emma smiled, knowing what was on the girl's mind. "Of course, you go ahead and check on Buck. We'll be fine." Lou smiled her thanks and turned to go. Lou opened the door to the bunkhouse, and found Buck asleep. Ike was lying on his bunk too, reading. When Lou came in he smiled, and jumping down off the bunk, headed for the door. "You don't have to go..." she whispered Ike just smiled again and shook his head. He patted Lou on the arm and glanced at Buck. *I'll see you later* She sat down on the bed, and for a few moments, watched Buck while he slept. Caressing his cheek with the back of her hand, she smiled when she heard him sigh in his sleep. Finally, she leaned down, and brushed a kiss against his lips. As Lou's lips brushed over his, Buck's eyes fluttered open. He smiled and put his good arm around her pulling her closer. "I missed you," he whispered before deepening the kiss. Lou enjoyed the kiss and embrace a few seconds before breaking away. "I'm sorry I made everyone worry; I didn't think about being late. I just wanted to bring Theresa and Jeremiah here so they could spend some time getting to know you better." Buck moved until he was sitting beside Lou. "I'm glad you did, but I'm not sure how much fun they're going to have spending time with me. I'm still not much use." "I thought it would be off by now," said Lou as she gently placed her hand on Buck's shoulder. "Doc didn't want me to re-injure it," he said with a sigh, "so he decided to keep it immobile. He promised to come by and take it off in a couple of days, but that will most likely be about the time you need to be leaving to take them back." Lou moved so she was standing in front of Buck. "We'll think of something," she said. "Maybe tonight will be a good chance for you to get to know Jeremiah; he's sleeping over here in my bed because I'm sleeping over in the main house with Theresa." When she finished speaking, the door to the bunkhouse banged open and Jeremiah came running in. "Louise," he called. "Cody asked me to go swimming? Is it..." he stopped speaking when he saw her standing in front of Buck who still had his hand resting on her waist. "Hi Jeremiah, we were just talking about you." Buck stood up, and let his hand drop to his side. If he was caught off guard, he didn't let it show. "Can I go?" Jeremiah asked again, not paying much attention to Buck. "I suppose," Lou began, "but..." "Come on Jeremiah, let's go!" Cody hurried in, looking almost as excited as his 11-year old sidekick. "Just be careful." Louise admonished. "You wanna come too Buck?" Cody smiled. "I can't..." Buck said, once again hating the fact that his broken arm was holding him back. "What happened to your arm?" Jeremiah asked, finally addressing the Kiowa. "I had an accident. It's almost healed, but not yet." The boy looked Buck up and down as if he were trying to figure something out, then he turned to Cody. "Maybe Jimmy can go with us..." "Maybe, we'll see." With that, the two of them were out the door. Buck let out a dejected sigh as he watched them go. "I don't think he likes me very much." "He will," Lou smiled. "Just give it some time." "That's just it; they'll only be here a few days." Lou suddenly wondered if she'd made the right decision, bringing her brother and sister back unannounced. She didn't want to put pressure on Buck, but after these few days apart, she was surer than ever that she wanted to start a life with him. "I'm sorry..." she began, "maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Buck pulled her close again and she tucked her head under his chin. "I missed you so much" she said hugging him tightly. "I wasn't going to stop and see them, and then I remembered our talk...do you think I'm rushing everything? Do you still want to get married?" Buck was so surprised by her question, that for a moment, he didn't know what to say. He could tell by the worried look in her eyes that she was serious. Their conversation of days earlier replayed in his head, and he realized that she hadn't been teasing him when she'd expressed doubts of her own. Buck placed his good arm around Lou and hugged her as tightly as he could. "Of course I still want to marry you," he said as he kissed the top of her head. "I just wish that I could participate more in what's going on while Jeremiah and Theresa are here now," he said. Lou moved and Buck released her from his grasp. When she didn't say anything, he continued, "I'm not the easiest person to get to know if all I can do is talk to you," he said. "I have a tendency not to say much unless really pressed." Lou laughed. "Even then you never give out more information than absolutely necessary," she said. Buck smiled as he relaxed at the sound of her laughter. "True," he agreed, "so you can see why not being able to do things with them makes it difficult." Lou nodded. "We'll think of something," she said as she moved to gather her things to take to Emma's. "Why don't you come visit with Theresa?" she suggested. "She likes to talk, and will ask you plenty of questions." Buck smiled and picked up the bundle of clothing Lou had set on his bed. "Alright," he said. "I guess I can stand being interrogated by a nine year old." As they walked over to Emma's arm in arm, Lou smiled up at Buck. "What?" He smiled back at her, and silently thanked the gods that she was home again, safe and sound. "You are an amazing man, Buck Cross." Buck blushed at the praise, and shook his head, "No, I'm not..." "Yes, you are," Lou insisted. "I know this has put you on the spot. Whatever happens with Jeremiah and Theresa over the next couple of days, it's a start. I just want you to know that I appreciate you doing this." "You're not asking that much, Lou..." Buck smiled. "Still, most men wouldn't..." Buck stopped and turned to face the woman that he loved. "I'm not most men Louise. I'd do anything for you. Don't you know that?" As Buck held her gaze with his dark brown eyes, Lou suddenly felt tears well up in her own. "I love you," he said softly. "I love you too," Lou reached up to hug him, brushing her lips against his cheek. "They will too. You'll see." The first few minutes with Theresa were a bit awkward. Buck sat with the two girls in Emma's parlor. Lou and Theresa were next to each other on the settee, with Buck across from them in a chair. He watched as Theresa snuggled up to her older sister, answering the questions that Lou asked, but not saying much else. When Emma came in with a tray with lemonade, Buck decided that was the time to speak up. "Can we go sit outside? It's a really nice day." The three of them moved to the porch, and Buck felt he could breathe a bit easier. Louise and Theresa sat in the porch swing, and Buck sat on the porch floor looking up at them. Theresa gazed down at him with her big blue eyes. "Are you really an Indian?" she asked. "Theresa!" Lou couldn't hide her shock at the bold question, but it didn't seem to bother Buck at all. "Yes." "What kind?" "Do you mean what tribe?" Buck asked gently. Theresa nodded. "We're learning about Indians in school. Buck and Lou glanced at each other, and Buck couldn't help but wonder exactly what she was being taught. "I'm Kiowa," Buck explained. "Oh...there's an Indian boy at the orphanage. He doesn't speak English that well, but you do." "Thank you," Buck smiled. "I learned at a mission school, kind of like the orphanage. It wasn't easy" "Sometimes Johnny...that's the boy's name...doesn't understand things, but Sister says we have to be patient, so I try and help him with his words." Lou hugged her sister, "That's good. Maybe someday he can teach you his language." "Has Buck taught you Kiowa?" Theresa asked excitedly. Lou smiled and looked pointedly at Buck, who stifled a laugh. "He promised to, but he hasn't yet." "Johnny is...La...Lakota," Theresa smiled, proud of herself for remembering the word. "Buck speaks Lakota too," Lou told her. The little girl's eyes grew even bigger. "You sure know a lot," she said. At that moment, Emma came out onto the porch. "I hate to interrupt, but I need some help with something, Louise." Lou looked at Emma, and saw her wink. "Sure, Emma, I'll be right there." "Would you like to see some of the horses, Theresa?" Buck stood up then, and when Theresa nodded, Buck held out his hand. She took it without hesitation, and the pair headed to the corral. Emma put an arm around Lou as the two women watched them go. "Thank you, Emma," Lou smiled. "You're welcome. Now come in here, I really do need some help..." Chapter Twenty-three By the time the dinner bell sounded, Buck had won Theresa over completely. He had discovered that she loved horses, but the nuns at the orphanage had discouraged her interest, because it wasn't "ladylike." He promised to take her riding as soon as his arm was healed. When Lou took him aside to find out how the afternoon had gone, he admitted with a smile, that she had worn him out. She was a chatterbox. Jeremiah was a different story. He had spent the day swimming with Cody and Jimmy. He was in awe of the two much older boys, and he sat next to Jimmy at dinner and hung on his every word. Whenever Buck joined the conversation, Jeremiah barely even looked in his direction. Buck gave up trying to get the boy's attention, and finished eating his meal in silence. He offered his help with clearing the dishes so that he could leave the room and not feel the discomfort of being ignored by an eleven year old. As he carried the first load of plates over to Emma's house, he tried to think of something he could do to impress Jeremiah. Nothing came to mind. As she held the door open for him, Emma said, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll like you just as much as he does the others once you can actually spend time doing things with him." Buck simply nodded. "I hope so," he replied with a slight sigh. "I'd hate to lose Louise because her brother doesn't like me or to have them upset with each other..." Emma interrupted, "Don't let it bother you," she said. "I know Lou won't leave you just because of her brother's opinion. Besides," she continued, "I know that once he gets to know you, Jeremiah McCloud will be pleased to call you brother." Buck returned Emma's smile. "Thank you," he said. "I'm not sure you're right, but it's nice to hear. Do you need me to bring over another load of dishes?" Emma shook her head. "I can get the rest," she said. "Why don't you go spend some time with Louise and her family?" Buck once more thanked Emma and left the house feeling a little better about the situation. He wished that the doctor was coming out sooner; things would be so much better if he could just use his arm - he could show Jeremiah how to hunt or track or ride. When he entered the bunkhouse, Jeremiah was deep in conversation with Jimmy, Cody, and Kid. Lou and Theresa were talking to Ike, who quickly stopped moving his hands when Buck headed their direction. Buck sat down next to Lou and asked, "What lies was he telling you about me now?" "Why did you say he was lying?" asked Theresa. "Because he stopped talking when I came in," replied Buck with a grin. "If he was telling you something truthful, he wouldn't have had to stop." Ike grinned. *I was telling them about your first day of school, * he said. *And I wasn't lying; just embellishing.* Buck laughed. "I guess that is a rather humorous story," he said. "Please, continue." As Ike told about how difficult - yet funny - Buck's first few days at the mission had been, Theresa thought about the young boy back at the orphanage. When Ike finished his tale, she turned to Buck. "Could you teach me how to say a few nice things in Lakota?" she asked. "I'd like to help Johnny feel welcomed." Lou smiled at her sister. "That's such a nice thing to do," she said as she hugged Theresa to her. "I'm sure Buck wouldn't mind." "I'd be happy to," Buck said. "Maybe we can spend some time together in the morning working on it." Theresa smiled up at him. "Why can't we start now?" she asked with a yawn. "Because, Sugarbear," Lou said, "You need to get to bed." She stood and took Theresa by the hand. "Let's go get you tucked in and then I'll come check on Jeremiah." As they left the bunkhouse, Lou stopped by where the others were still talking. "He needs to be getting ready for bed," she said as she passed by. "I'm going to get Theresa settled, and then I'll be back to get him tucked in." Before Jeremiah or anyone else could object, she added, "It's going to be a long day tomorrow with all the work that needs to be done, especially you Cody - you're doing Buck's chores still." As she left, Jeremiah looked over at where Buck was sitting talking to Ike. "Why ain't he doing his own chores?" he asked. "Because he can't use his left arm," said Jimmy. "It's hurt and the doctor won't let him use it until it's healed; since he's left-handed it's difficult for him to do all the things he's supposed to do. Cody was just the one who complained the most so he got chosen to take over." Jeremiah simply nodded. "If I help with the chores, can we go swimming again tomorrow?" he asked as he turned his attention back to the group. "Don't see why not," said Kid. "But if you're going to help with all the work Buck usually gets done, you'll need to be well rested. Let's get you into bed and surprise your sister when she returns." Jeremiah nodded and made his way to where his belongings were. He quickly changed his clothes and climbed into the bed. By the time Lou returned he was sleeping soundly and the other boys were all getting ready for bed. Lou quickly kissed Jeremiah and then made her way over to where Buck was waiting for Ike to finish getting undressed before he assisted Buck. "Do you think we could go sit outside for a bit?" Lou asked. "I'll help you get ready for bed when we get back." Buck nodded and stood. He slipped his arm around Lou's waist as they exited the bunkhouse and headed toward the corral. They walked in silence. As they neared the fence, Lou moved so she could take Buck's hand in her own. Instead of stopping, she lead him around the corral fence to a small clearing behind the barn. When then entered the cover of the trees, Lou turned to face Buck and without speaking captured his lips and kissed him with a desire that had been building ever since her return. Buck returned her kiss, pulling her close. He'd thought about doing this since she first pulled into the yard after lunch. Now, finally, they were alone. They parted for a moment, each catching their breath. As he touched Lou's cheek with back of his hand, Buck smiled. "Do you know how much I've missed you? I've been thinking about this all day." Lou sighed, and lost herself in his eyes. "Me too. I know we should go to bed, but...I just need to be with you." Their lips met again, in a gentle kiss that quickly became passionate. As Buck's tongue caressed hers, Lou's hands worked to pull his shirt out of his pants and quickly moved underneath it to touch his bare skin. As always, her touch increased his desire even more. Their kisses continued, and Buck's right hand moved down Lou's back and over her hips. He pulled her to him, his need for her obvious. Her hand slipped down to touch him through his trousers. She squeezed gently and Buck moaned, as he lips moved down the column of her neck. Before they could stop themselves, the couple ended up in the grass under the trees, half dressed. Buck broke their kiss, and struggled to regain some control. "Wait...Lou...wait." His voice was husky, and his hand was unsteady as he held Lou away from him slightly. "What? Is something wrong?" Lou was breathless too. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight that Buck had to look away from her. "I just...don't think we should do this now." At the pained look on Lou's face, Buck spoke again quickly, trying to explain how he felt. "I can't even make love to you like this." he said, motioning to his left arm. "You don't have to...I just want to be close to you." Lou answered. "I know...but, I can't even hold you...not really. And I can't be this close to you without wanting...more. I'm sorry." Buck apologized, suddenly afraid that he had hurt her feelings. Lou sat up and smoothed her dress. "I promised Emma we wouldn't do this." "I did too. Not exactly, but I knew that's what she was talking about." Buck sat up too, and tried to adjust his pants as best he could. "What are we gonna do?" Lou looked at him and he laughed softly. "I think we at least need to wait until my arm is healed before I do anything." "I think once you're healed it'll be worse." Lou told him. Buck put his arm around her and Lou rested her head on his shoulder. "Maybe we should just go to bed. I'll go see Doc in the morning and we'll see what happens." Buck stood up and offered Lou his hand. They walked back to the bunkhouse, both of them feeling a strange mix of emotions at how the evening had turned out. When Lou started to follow Buck into the bunkhouse, he stopped her. "Maybe you should just go on over to Emma's" he said. "But don't you need some help?" "I'll manage," he smiled down at her, and then kissed her forehead. "You'll never now how happy I am that you're home, but I think it's a good thing that you're not sleeping in here tonight." Lou gave him a small smile and a resigned sigh. "Good night... I love you." "I love you too." Buck watched her walk away and then turned to go inside. He closed the door quietly behind him, so as not to wake the others, then leaned his head against it, taking a deep breath. He knew that they'd done the "right" thing by stopping, and yet, he couldn't believe he'd just sent her away. Being with Lou was all he really wanted. He realized now that keeping their promise to Emma would sorely test them both. Lou was still a jumble of emotions as she got ready for bed. The desire she felt for Buck was stronger than any she'd ever experienced. Their first time together had been so intense, and she hadn't expected to maintain that feeling. Now, it seemed her feelings were even stronger. At the same time, she knew Emma was right and she didn't want to disappoint her. She was glad that they had kept their promise, but that didn't erase her need to be with the man she loved. Lou finally fell asleep, wondering what tomorrow would bring. When Buck entered the bunkhouse, Ike watched from his bed. He immediately noticed that Lou wasn't with his friend so he quietly climbed out of his bunk and made his way to Buck's side. *What happened?* he asked as he helped Buck sit. "Nothing," Buck said glumly. "We..." he paused, and then just shook his head. *You need to rest,* Ike said. *Things will be better in the morning after the doctor takes off that wrap. You'll see.* Buck smiled at Ike. "I sure hope so," he said. "I'm not sure I can stand this feeling much longer. When I'm near her, I feel like I'll explode if I can't have her. When we're apart, I feel like I'm missing a piece of myself." He stopped speaking and once more shook his head. "I know," he said, "I'm not making any sense, but..." Ike interrupted, *I think I understand,* he said. *I'm sure things will work out; you just need to relax and don't worry about trying to impress anyone.* He quickly helped Buck remove his boots and get ready for bed. As Buck lay back on the mattress, Ike asked, *So, have you decided when yet?* Buck replied, "No," he said. "I think a lot depends on how things go this week with the kids." He smiled weakly, "Besides, we can't do anything until one of us has a different job and we have an idea about a place to live." He looked over to where Jeremiah slept and sighed. "I think it's going to be a long, long time before we can seriously even think about a wedding." Chapter Twenty-four Buck rose early the next morning and headed over to Emma's before anyone else was awake. Emma was usually up at this hour and maybe she needed some help with breakfast. When he opened the back door and found Lou in the kitchen, he smiled. She was dressed in pants and a shirt, but she had her hair pulled back from her face, and she was wearing the cameo he'd given her. "You're up early" she observed. "I didn't sleep too well last night." Since they were alone in the room he walked over leaned down to give her a good morning kiss. "Me either," she admitted. "Theresa moves around a lot when she sleeps." "I think I'm going to head into town after breakfast and see if Doc can take care of my arm." "I can come with you..." Buck shook his head, "You need to stay here with the kids. I'll be fine." Lou smiled sheepishly as she rolled out the dough for biscuits. "I guess I just want to be there when he takes that bandage off." "Believe me, if he does, you'll be the first to know." He leaned in to give her another kiss, oblivious to the fact that they were no longer alone. "Mornin', Buck." Both of them jumped slightly at the sound of Emma's voice, and Lou blushed. "Any of the boys up yet?" "No ma'am," Buck answered. "Well then come help me sort some of this laundry while Louise finishes the biscuits, then we can take some dishes over for breakfast. Breakfast was usually the quietest meal of the day, but having Jeremiah and Theresa there helped to liven things up a bit. Both of them were excited about being there, and their excitement was infectious. "Shoot Jeremiah," Cody complained, "you ain't gonna eat the last biscuit are you?" The boy just smiled as he stuffed it into his mouth. "Think he's gonna give you a run for your money, Cody," Kid observed with a laugh. "Sister Ann says I got a hollow leg," Jeremiah told them. "Well, you just keep eatin'. We can always make more." Emma stood up to start clearing away some of the dishes. "Are you still gonna teach me Lakota today Buck?" Theresa sat between Buck and Lou. "I am," he smiled down at the girl, giving one of her braids a tug. "I have to run an errand in town, but as soon as I get back we can start." "He could teach you too, Jeremiah, then we'd both be able to talk to Johnny when we go back to St. Joe." Theresa was so excited she was practically bouncing in her chair. "I'm goin' swimmin'," Jeremiah answered, giving Buck a serious look. "Buck has work to do too, Theresa. You can't take up all of his time today," Lou spoke seriously to her younger sister. "I won't," she promised, then turned to look at Buck, "I could help you with some of your chores if your arm is still hurt." "You're here to have fun Theresa. You don't have to help me...but thank you." "Well, sounds like we all got a full day ahead," Teaspoon observed from the head of the table. "Buck, give me a few minutes and I'll ride into town with you. Need to see Sam about some business." "You tell him I expect him to have supper with us tomorrow, Mr. Spoon." As everyone got up from the table and began gathering the dishes, Lou pulled Buck into the parlor, "I have a surprise for you." she smiled. "Wait right here and I'll go get it." "A surprise? What..." she hurried out of the room before Buck could finish asking his question. When Lou returned she had something hidden behind her back. "Close your eyes," she said. Buck noticed that her eyes were sparkling. "What is it?" he smiled. "It ain't a surprise if I tell you...now close them." Buck did as he was told and waited patiently. "Now hold out your hands." "I can only hold out one," he pointed out with a smirk. "Very funny. Give me your hand." When Buck held out his hand, Lou placed something in it. "I didn't have time to wrap it..." Buck opened his eyes and looked at the book she had given him. It was called "Great Expectations." It was by Charles Dickens, an author from England that he admired. "Lou..." He looked at her and could think of nothing to say. He could count on one hand the number of times in his life that he'd been given a gift. He was speechless at her thoughtfulness. "I know it's not much but...I wanted to get you something, and I know you have some of his other books..." Buck reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you," he whispered, trying to keep his emotions in check. After a moment he stepped back, and looked down at the book, still not really able to express what he was feeling. "Maybe I'll read it after you're finished." "You didn't have to get me a gift..." "I wanted to," Lou told him, taking his hand. "You gave me this beautiful cameo. And I liked the title. That's what I have for us. "Great Expectations." Buck smiled and embraced her again. "Thank you...I..." Suddenly, Buck felt Lou stiffen in his embrace. He followed her gaze, and turned to see Jeremiah standing in the doorway. Jeremiah just stared at the two of them for a few seconds before moving across the room to where he'd left his hat earlier. "I just needed to get this so I can go with Jimmy, Cody, and Kid. They're going to work on breaking some of the new horses. Said I could help," he said. Lou moved out of Buck's embrace. "Jeremiah," she said. "I was planning..." Jeremiah didn't stop to listen to her. He simply grabbed his hat and turned to go back outside to where the others were waiting. When Buck saw the look on Lou's face, he moved to cut Jeremiah's exit. "Your sister was talking to you," he said. "You'll stay and listen." Jeremiah simply glared at Buck. "I don't have to listen to you," he said. "You ain't my father." "That's true," replied Buck calmly, "but I am your elder, and you'll show Louise the respect she deserves or we're going to have trouble." "She don't deserve..." Buck didn't hit him hard; in reality it was more of a pat than a slap, but it stunned both Jeremiah and Lou. "You'll give her the respect she deserves," Buck repeated, "or there's going to be trouble. Now, go back to her and apologize." "I don't..." Jeremiah stopped speaking and moved quickly to Lou's side when Buck once more raised his hand. "Don't let him hit me again," he said. "Please, Lou..." Lou glanced at Buck, and hesitated. Part of her wanted to defend her brother, but she knew that if she did that, the same thing would happen next time. The boundary needed to be set now. Buck waited too, and when Lou said nothing, he stepped forward to stand in front of the boy again. "You don't have to like me Jeremiah, but you do have to show respect to everyone in this house - especially your sister. I don't ever want to hear you speaking that way to her again. Do you understand?" Jeremiah looked down at his feet and mumbled a response. "I can't hear you," Buck told him, pinning the boy to the spot with a look. "I understand," Jeremiah answered. He looked up at Buck with a defiant stare. "Good. Now apologize to Louise." "I'm sorry, Louise. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." Lou was watching both of them, taking all of this in. She had never seen this side of Buck before. He usually avoided confrontations of any kind, unless he was pushed to the limit. "Apology accepted," she answered. Jeremiah looked at the two adults, obviously afraid now to make another mistake. "Can I go now?" "Yes, you may." Lou answered. "But you won't be working with the horses. The stalls need to be mucked out. Go get started on them and I'll be out to check on you in a few minutes." With another glum look, the boy turned and left the room. He slipped by Teaspoon, who was standing in the doorway. "You two alright?" he asked. They nodded, and the stationmaster looked at the couple for another moment before speaking. "I got the wagon hooked up outside, Buck. Ready to go when you are." With that he took his leave. As Teaspoon left, Lou moved to Buck's side. Before she could say anything, Buck spoke. "I'm sorry if I upset you," he said. "But I wasn't going to let him disrespect you like that; he did it before when we took them back. I didn't say anything then because it really wasn't my place." He paused before adding, "I guess it really still isn't, but..." he stopped speaking as Lou gently kissed him. "Thank you," she said softly. "Now, you'd better get going." With that she took her leave and headed out to check on Jeremiah. Buck joined Teaspoon and the two headed into town. The ride in was quiet because Teaspoon had decided that this was one situation that he didn't want to become involved in; he'd already given the boy enough advice. "Why don't you just drop me at Doc's and I'll come over to Sam's office when we're done?" Buck finally said as they entered town. Teaspoon simply nodded. As he pulled the horses to a stop, he said, "I'll see you over at Sam's in a bit. Hope it's with good news." Buck smiled at the man. "Thanks," he said as he dismounted and started up the stairs to the doctor's rooms. Buck sat quietly while the doctor checked his arm once more. He allowed himself a glimmer of hope when the older man began to unwrap the bandages that had held him prisoner for the past few days. "I want you to be perfectly honest with me," the doctor said as he finished taking off the last of the wrap. Buck simply nodded. "Hold your arm out to your side," the doctor instructed. Buck did as he was asked. "Does that hurt at all?" Doc continued. "Just a little," Buck said, "but I can..." Doc cut him off. "I'm sure you can handle the pain," he said. "I just need to be sure it's healed correctly before I let you start using it." He moved to where he could place his hand on Buck's shoulder and gave Buck instructions about how to move his arm. After the tests were done, the doctor stepped back and stood thinking. "It's against my better judgment," he said, "but I'm going to leave the wrap off and just put you in a sling." Buck smiled at the man. "Thank you," he said. "Don't thank me just yet," the doctor said sternly. "I don't want you using that arm for anything at least another few days. It's not completely healed, and if you try and do too much it could just snap again." He studied the young man sitting before him a few seconds before continuing, "I want you to promise me that you won't use it for anything more than eating for the next week. If I find out differently, I'll put that wrap back on and leave it for a month. Do you understand?" Buck nodded. "I understand," he said. "I'll do my best not..." "No," the doctor cut in, "I don't want you to do your best. If you can't promise me that it will stay in the sling except when you're eating I'm not letting you leave here with it free." Buck studied the man before him. "It doesn't hurt anymore," he said. "Is it really still that bad?" Doc nodded. "It is," he said. "And I'm afraid that if it snaps again it won't heal as nicely the next time. You could end up with permanent loss of movement." "I promise," said Buck, as he slowly put his clothes back on. He sat quietly while the doctor fixed and adjusted his sling. "Come back in a week," the doctor said. "Sooner if it starts to hurt at all." Buck nodded and made his way carefully over to Sam's office. As he pushed open the door, he heard Sam telling Teaspoon. "I wish those boys of yours weren't all so loyal." "Why's that?" asked Teaspoon with a slight grin. "I sure could use some dependable help around here, and I'd take any one of them over the people who've expressed an interest in being my deputy. Shoot, even Cody would be better than everyone who's come by so far." He laughed softly. Teaspoon turned to see Buck standing in the doorway. He smiled when he saw the sling and the look of excitement that Buck quickly hid. "Looks like things are going well," Teaspoon said as he stood and made his way to where Buck waited. "Doc says I gotta leave in the sling for another week, except when I'm eating. But at least I can move it a little." "Well, that's good news." Teaspoon smiled. Buck watched the Marshal as he sorted through the mountain of paperwork on his desk. "How soon do you need a deputy, Marshal?" Sam glanced up at Buck, surprised at the question. "You interested, Buck?" He felt both men watching him and suddenly became nervous. "Just wondered..." "Well I ain't found anybody yet that I'd trust to do the job, so I guess I'll just wait and see who else comes along." "Well," Teaspoon stretched his suspenders and rocked on his heals, "I 'spect we'd better get back to the station. Sam, Emma's got a place for you at the table tomorrow evenin' " "I'll be there Teaspoon." As Buck and Teaspoon started to head out of the door, Buck stopped. He turned to Teaspoon, "I'll be with you in just a minute," he said. "I want to talk to Sam just a little." Teaspoon simply nodded. He knew that if he attempted to stay and join in this conversation it wouldn't be the one Buck wanted. He wasn't sure exactly what was going on, but he knew that something was brewing. "I'm going to go over to Tompkins' and get a cup of coffee; I'll meet you back here when I'm done." Buck smiled his thanks as he gave a little sigh of relief that Teaspoon wasn't going to make this even more difficult. He watched Teaspoon walk across the street before he once more entered Sam's office. "I'm sorry to bother you while you're so busy," he said, "but I'd really like to discuss that job." Sam looked up from his desk. "You serious?" he asked. Buck simply nodded. He slowly made his way across the room and sat down in the chair recently vacated by Teaspoon. He took a deep breath before speaking, "I've met a girl that I'd like to settle down with," he said softly. "I can't continue to ride for the express if I get married, so..." Sam looked at the young man sitting next to him. "I can't think of a better person for the job," he said. "How soon could you start?" Buck shrugged. "I'm fairly certain that the doctor won't let me do any more as a deputy than he will as an express rider so I couldn't start before next week." He paused a bit before continuing. "I was really hoping that I could have about a month," he finally said. "I need to discuss things with the young lady first; she might not be ready to make this step just yet." Sam nodded. "I understand completely," he said. "I tell you what I'll do; I'll keep the job for you until the beginning of next month. If you can't give me an answer by then, I'll start actively looking once more. Sound good to you?" Buck nodded. "Yes, Sir," he said. "That sounds very good. I'll try to talk to her this evening so I can let you know as soon as possible." As Buck stood, Sam joined him and walked across the room with him. At the door, Sam offered Buck his hand. "I look forward to hearing your decision," he said as Buck walked out of the office. Buck simply nodded and made his way to where Teaspoon sat waiting in the buckboard. As Buck climbed aboard, Teaspoon smiled. "Have a nice talk?" he asked. Buck nodded, feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement. As he looked at the older man in front of him he tried to imagine not working for Teaspoon anymore. He couldn't. "Anything you want to talk about?" Teaspoon asked as they headed out of town. "No." Buck felt guilty for keeping the secret, but he had to talk to Lou first. He hoped she would be open to the idea of him taking the job. It seemed like the perfect solution. After a moment, Buck spoke again, "Sorry I won't be much help for another week," "You been plenty of help, even with your arm in a sling. Don't worry about it." "But I ain't been on any runs�I guess you're gonna have to dock my pay, huh?" "You worried about money for some reason?" the older man glanced over at the Kiowa while steering the horses around a rut in the road. "No�I just um�" Buck cleared his throat, obviously trying to avoid an answer. "I ain't gonna dock your pay. The other boy's are gettin' overtime for the extra runs, but that's it." Buck let out a sigh and Teaspoon shook his head. "I think it's about time for you to have another sweat�" Buck laughed at himself, knowing he needed to calm down. "I think you're right..." When they pulled into the yard, Teaspoon nodded to Buck. "I'll take care of the buckboard. I bet Theresa is pretty anxious to get started on her lesson." "I can help..." "What was it you said about usin' your arm only to eat? Now get." Buck smiled to himself as he walked toward the house. He glanced over and saw Jimmy and Kid working with the new horses. There was one animal in particular he wondered if they'd broken yet. Lou met him on the porch with an expectant smile, "Well, what'd the doctor say?" "I have to keep it in a sling, except when I'm eating, for another week." "But it's not wrapped anymore?" Buck shook his head and Lou stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "That's wonderful." Smiling back at her, Buck reached to brush a stray lock of hair from her forehead. He wondered if he should tell her about his talk with Sam now. "Come inside. Theresa has been driving me crazy wondering when you'd be back." "I had a talk with the Marshal while I was in town," he began, letting Lou lead him into the parlor. "What about?" Chapter Twenty-five "You're back!" Theresa exclaimed as she ran into the room. Barreling into Buck to give him a hug, she almost knocked him down. "Careful Theresa, he's still healing!" "I'm sorry," she backed away slightly and looked up at him with a serious face. "Can we start now? Please?" Buck shook his head in amazement. He didn't think he'd ever had anyone react that way upon seeing him. It warmed his heart. "I'm ready if you are," he grinned. Theresa squealed with excitement. "Did you want to talk to me about something first?" Lou asked. "It can wait..." Buck leaned in to kiss Lou, then he thought better of doing it in front of Theresa. With a promise that they'd be back by lunch, Buck and his student headed out for a walk. Jimmy hit the ground with a thud, and cursed out loud. Kid ran over to give his friend a hand up and help him to the other side of the fence. "I'm tellin' you Jimmy, that one can't be broke. He's too wild." "Buck could do it," Cody observed from his perch on the fence. Jimmy rubbed his neck and cursed again. "Well, I don't feel like gettin' my neck broke today. I say we just leave him be til Buck has a chance to work with him." "Sounds good to me." Kid glanced over and saw Jeremiah leaned against the fence. "You all done with your chores?" "I guess," the boy shrugged. "I gotta wait for Louise to come out and check on me." "Well, as soon as she does, you can go get cleaned up. Then, after lunch I got somethin' to show you." Cody grinned. "What?" the boy's eyes lit up. "After lunch I said. Now go finish up and wait for Lou." The three riders watched as the boy ran back to the barn. "Wonder what he did to get in trouble," Kid observed. "Don't know, but Lou was none too happy when she came out here earlier," Jimmy commented. "You think Buck's done anything to make her mad yet?" Cody asked. Lunchtime arrived and everyone enjoyed the meal. Buck was thrilled to be able to eat comfortably, and Emma observed that he was eating almost as much as Cody. Jeremiah had been released from his punishment, and as soon as lunch was over, he reminded Cody of his earlier promise to "show him something" after the meal. Cody grinned. "I'm going to show you how to track," he said. "Ain't nobody can..." he stopped speaking when Kid stifled a laugh. "What?" asked Cody. "You're going to teach him how to track when Buck's sitting in the same room as you?" Jimmy asked with a grin. Cody looked around the table. "I'm as good at tracking as he is," he said. When no one came to his defense, he added. "I am, and I can prove it." "How?" asked Lou. "I bet Jeremiah and I can hide where Buck can't find us," said Cody, feeling fairly confident that he wouldn't be taken up on this challenge - Buck wasn't usually willing to play games. "You'll have to walk," said Buck. "I can't ride yet so it wouldn't be fair if you two were on horseback." Cody simply stared at his companion. "You mean..." he said. Buck nodded. "I mean you two have a fifteen minute head start and then I'm coming after you. If I find you before nightfall, you owe me an extra week of doing my chores." He waited a few seconds before adding, "Unless you want to back out." "Come on, Cody. We can do this. If by some chance he," he paused and glanced at Buck with obvious distaste, "wins, I'll do his chores until I leave." Cody looked at Jeremiah and smiled. "Alright," he said regaining his bravado, "let's go make our plans." He stood and started across the room. At the door he paused, "We'll let you know when we're ready to leave." Buck simply nodded and waited until they had left the room before allowing the smile that he'd been fighting to show. "I think I may have just made the best deal of my life," he said with a wink at Lou. Lou smiled back. "I think you may," she said. "Not only do you get to knock Cody down a notch or two, you also get a chance to show Jeremiah what a talented man you are." Buck simply nodded as Lou moved to where he sat and placed her hands gently on his shoulders. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "You need any help getting ready?" she asked. Buck shook his head. "I just need to get some water," he said. "I wouldn't want to get thirsty and have to come back early." He stood and made his way across the room to his trunk. Once there he carefully removed his canteen and then went to fill it with water. "Do you really think you'll be gone that long?" Jimmy asked with a smirk. "He ain't that bad Jimmy. He knows how to track." "You're the one that taught him how." Jimmy shook his head. "Seems like a waste of time to me." "He's just trying to give Jeremiah something to do," Buck explained as the walked out into the yard. "That boy's got a chip on his shoulder about somethin'," Jimmy declared. "Reminds me of myself when I was younger." Buck didn't try to stifle his laughter. "When you were younger, huh?" "Yep. Don't be gone too long now. Emma's makin' a pie for dinner. You don't want to miss it." Just then Cody came out of the bunkhouse. "We're ready to leave. Don't forget you promised us a head start." "I remember. Go easy on me Cody�" While Buck waited the allotted 15 minutes, he went to tell Emma and Teaspoon where he was going and gave Lou a kiss goodbye. As he walked over the rise that lead to the creek, he wondered what Cody and Jeremiah were talking about. It didn't take long for Buck to see what some of the conversation had been about. As soon as he reached the creek bed he noticed that the tracks seemed to divide in two directions. He quickly scouted the direction that Jeremiah's tracks went, and was pleased to see that Cody had rejoined the boy just a bit past the bend in the creek. Buck smiled in appreciation at the trick that Cody had tried to pull. This might be harder than I thought, he told himself as the quietly followed the trail before him. Cody was using every trick Buck had pointed out to him. He would have Jeremiah walk in his footprints to make it look like there was only one of them, he backtracked and changed directions by stepping back into the prints left when they headed out, he even carried Jeremiah for a bit after having the boy leave a trail that lead into a patch of rocks. As he walked, Buck began to pay attention to the direction the tracks were headed. It was a long, convoluted path, but it sure did seem to be headed towards the swimming hole. He smiled to himself as he contemplated just going there to wait for them. I wonder what would happen if I beat them there he thought. He had just about dismissed the idea completely when the weather took a turn. The wind picked up and started to blow out of the north. A storm would be here by nightfall. At this rate, if he kept following Cody's winding path, they'd be out here til dark at least. Not wanting to miss dinner, and Emma's apple pie, Buck decided to go with his hunch. Instead of following Cody's tracks, Buck turned east, taking a shortcut to the destination he thought Cody had in mind. "And remember what I told ya," Cody explained to Jeremiah as they walked. "You gotta be aware of where you are all the time. Gotta watch for landmarks. Like that big oak that we passed about 1/2 mile back. When I see that I know I'm gettin' real close to Emma's. Or, if it's nightime and there's no moon, you can follow the creek. It flows past the bunkhouse." Jeremiah listened, obviously awestruck by the older, blonde rider that he saw as a hero of sorts. "I sure hope I can track like you someday Cody," he said. "Sure you can. Heck, Buck taught me everything I know. I bet if you ask him, he'll help you too." Jeremiah scowled slightly at the mention of Buck's name. "You don't like him much huh?" Jeremiah shrugged, trying to act indifferent to the subject. "He don't like me either," the boy finally said. "What makes you say that?" "Cause he...he just don't," Jeremiah answered quickly, deciding it wouldn't be a good idea to tell Cody he'd been disciplined for speaking out of turn to his sister. "Well, he ain't so bad. He can be fun once you get to know him...it just takes awhile." The pair continued on for awhile, still using various tricks designed to confuse Buck. "Where are we goin' Cody?" "I got a little spot in mind. It ain't much further." Cody looked up at the sky, noticing the change in the wind. It would be raining by nightfall. "Can I ask you somethin'?" Jeremiah spoke after being lost in thought for awhile. "Sure." "Is Buck courtin' my sister?" The question made Cody stop in his tracks. "What do you know about courtin'?" "Enough. I ain't stupid." "I didn't say that, but..." "So is he or not?" the boy pressed. Cody studied the boy in front of him. Finally he answered, "I'm not sure about courting. I do know that they really care for each other." When he saw the scowl that crossed Jeremiah's face, he quickly added, "I'm sure that Lou - er Louise won't make any decisions without talking to you and Theresa first. She really cares..." he stopped speaking when Jeremiah walked ahead of him. After a few awkward moments of silence, Jeremiah turned back to Cody. "You really think she'll not do anything without me and Theresa knowing first?" Cody nodded. "I know she's been working hard at saving her money so she can get the two of you out of the orphanage and provide a nice place for you." He paused, "Wouldn't it be fun if she could find a place nearby? Then we could do stuff like this all the time?" Jeremiah smiled. "That would be fun," he said. "I could maybe even learn how to ride and shoot." Cody draped his arm around the younger boy's shoulders. "I'd be happy to teach you everything I know, and I bet Jimmy could show you a trick or two about shooting. Now, we'd best get moving if you want to go swimming before it gets too dark." Jeremiah's smile grew even wider. "You mean we're headed towards the swimming hole?" Cody nodded. "But it's the totally opposite direction from where we started out," Jeremiah stated. "I know," said Cody, "but we've been making a really large circle with a few off shoots to throw Buck off. I think that last bit of backtracking and rock walking we did might just of done it. I bet we don't see him again until,..." he stopped talking as they cleared the rise next to the swimming hole only to find Buck sitting there with a small fire already going. "Hungry?" he asked, as they made their way down the embankment. As the threesome made their way back to the station, all of them were quiet, except for comments about the coming storm, and Cody briefly telling Buck about the problems they'd had trying to break the horses earlier in the day. Jeremiah said the least. He was shocked to see Buck waiting for them at the swimming hole, and even more surprised that Cody didn't seem that upset about it. In truth, he was awed by the fact that the Kiowa had figured out Cody's plan, but he hated to admit it. Besides being awed by Buck, he was more than a little scared of him, and Jeremiah didn't like admitting that anyone could frighten him. Since they had decided not to go swimming, the three made it back to the station just before dinner. As they started to clean up, Buck turned to Cody and Jeremiah. "Some one has to water the horses before dinner," he said. "I'm sure whoever's job that is will get it done," said Cody as he began to wash his face. "It's supposed to be my job this week," replied Buck as he handed Cody a towel. "That means it's now..." Cody nodded. "Mine," he snarled as he took the towel. "Actually," Buck said, as Cody started to walk away, "I think it belongs to Jeremiah for the next few days. He did say he would do my chores for the remainder of his stay if I won this little bet." Cody turned and smiled at his friend. "He sure did," Cody remarked. "I'll be sure and save you a piece of pie," he said as he headed toward the bunkhouse and the waiting meal. Jeremiah just stared after the blond rider for a few seconds. He then turned to Buck and quietly said, "I don't know how to water the horses. Could you help me?" Buck nodded. "Be glad to," he said. He smiled just slightly to himself as he followed Jeremiah to the barn. He showed the boy where the water troughs hung and where the bucket was. He even helped pull the water out of the well, but allowed Jeremiah to do all the toting. Soon they were finished and headed towards the bunkhouse. "You need to be sure and do that every night," Buck said. "It's very important that the horses are fed and watered." "Was I supposed to feed them too?" Jeremiah asked a bit worried that he would have to go back and do more work. Buck shook his head. "That's Ike's responsibility this week," he said. "We never make the same person do both jobs. It would take way too long." Jeremiah gave a sigh of relief as he finally sat down next to Cody at the table. "Glad you two could join us," said Emma with a smile. Lou smiled as she watched Buck and her brother settle themselves at the table. She could tell by Jeremiah's demeanor that they were getting along at least a bit better. "Where's the pie Cody left?" Buck asked. "No one's had any pie yet, so you're safe," Teaspoon commented. "So uh, how was the game of hide and seek?" Jimmy asked. "Didn't Cody tell you?" Buck asked between bites. "He ain't said nothin'," Kid grinned. Buck simply raised an eyebrow at Cody. He was going to enjoy this. "He won," Cody kept eating, barely looking up from his plate. "You don't say..." "Yes Jimmy, he won. Now are you gonna keep talkin' about it or are you gonna let me eat in peace?" Lou glanced at Buck with a smile. "You said he would Louise!" Theresa beamed from her seat next to her big sister. "So what did you learn Jeremiah?" Teaspoon asked. "Think you could do some trackin' now?" The boy shrugged, "I don't know. It's harder than I thought it would be." "Bet that's what Cody said too," Kid laughed. As dinner drew to a close, and Ike and Kid volunteered to help Emma clear the table, Theresa took Buck by the hand and led him to the parlor. She wanted to keep practicing the Lakota phrases that he had taught her earlier in the day. "Will you teach me Kiowa too?" she asked. Buck laughed, "Let's concentrate on Lakota for now...besides I promised Louise I'd teach her. I think I'd better do that first, and you can stick with Lakota for now." "Alright." Theresa smiled, looking at Buck. "What are you two up to?" Lou grinned at them from the doorway. "Just practicing Lakota." "Hmm, I haven't had a chance to practice Kiowa or Lakota yet." Lou gave Buck a disappointed look, which was not all for Theresa's benefit. "I'm sorry," Buck told her. "I guess we need to work on that don't we?" "Yes, and I believe someone else needs to think about getting ready for bed." "Already?" Theresa whined. "It's late, Sugarbear. Go get changed and I'll be there to tuck you in." The girl turned and gave Buck a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He hugged her back, still not quite used to the affection from a child that barely knew him. As he watched her leave the room, Lou watched him. "You know this is the first time we've been alone together today?" She smiled, and reached for his hand. As Lou gently squeezed Buck's hand she noticed Jeremiah staring at them. "Something wrong, Jeremiah?" she asked, letting Buck's hand drop. The boy shook his head. "I was just thinking," he said. "About what?" Lou asked as she moved to where he was preparing for bed. "What's going to happen to Theresa and me when you find some fella to marry," the boy said. "I'm guessing there aren't a lot of men who want a ready made family." He glanced past Lou to where Buck stood. Lou nodded. "You're probably right," she said. "I guess I'll just have to be sure the one I find doesn't mind if I bring a family along because I'm not going anywhere without you and Theresa once we get back together for good." She hugged him and then said, "Now, get yourself into bed. You've got to get up early and help water the horses again." Jeremiah nodded and crawled into the bunk. "You think Buck would teach me some of that tracking stuff?" he asked quietly. Lou shrugged. "You'll have to ask him in the morning when he gets you up for the horses," she said. "My guess is he'd be happy to teach you anything you wanted to learn." As Jeremiah settled into his bed Lou went back to where Buck stood waiting. "You made some sort of impression today," she said as she once more took his hand. "Come help me tuck in Theresa so we can spend a little time alone." Buck nodded and followed her out the door with a quick glance back at Jeremiah. "I'm not so sure he trusts me," Buck said. "He wants you to teach him how to track," said Lou. "Make him ask though; I told him he'd have to be the one to ask." Buck nodded. "I hope he does; that would give us an excuse to spend some time alone." "Speaking of time alone," said Lou as she headed towards the main house. "I sure would like to find some with you." Buck smiled. "Me too," he said. "I need to talk to you about something important." Lou studied him. "What?" she asked as she pushed open the door to Emma's house. She was surprised to find Teaspoon and Emma sitting in the parlor enjoying a cup of coffee. "It will wait," answered Buck. Lou quickly went and tucked Theresa into bed. "I'll be right back," she said. "I need to talk to Buck for just a bit." She kissed her sister who was already dozing. When she came back into the parlor, Buck stood. "You mind if we walk a bit?" he asked. "I know it's windy, but I really ..." he glanced at Teaspoon and Emma before continuing, "need to speak to you alone." "Let's just go check on the horses," said Lou, "that way Teaspoon can stay here for a bit longer and enjoy the warmth of the fire and Emma's fine company." The two of them headed towards the barn. As they entered the door, the sky opened up and sheets of rain started to fall. "Looks like we may have to wait a while," said Lou with a smile as she headed towards the ladder that lead to the hayloft. "Might as well be warm while we wait..." Buck smiled to himself as he followed Lou up the ladder. The thought that she looked forward to being alone with him was thrilling. He had a feeling that tonight would go differently then the last time they'd spent time together. "What?" Lou asked when she saw the look on Buck's face. He shook his head, "Nothing. I just like knowing that you want to be with me." He settled down in the clean hay next to her as the storm outside increased in strength. Putting his right arm around her, he pulled Lou close. She snuggled up next to him resting her head on his chest. Now it was Lou's turn to chuckle. "Something funny?" "Just Theresa. As much as Jeremiah avoids you, I think Theresa is the opposite. She talked about you the whole time you were gone." Lou moved slightly so that she could look at Buck. "She told me she thinks you have 'pretty hair'". "She did?" Buck blushed a deep crimson. "Yes, and I agreed with her. Your hair is beautiful." Lou reached up to run her fingers through Buck's dark hair. "Thanks," Buck told her, still embarrassed about the compliment. "You're welcome," Lou tilted her chin up and touched her lips lightly to Buck's. When she moved away, he pulled her close again and covered her mouth with his, in a tender kiss. Lou caressed his cheek with her hand and sighed when she felt Buck's tongue move across her lips. She opened them slightly and touched her tongue to his, her body tingling at the sensation. Just as the kiss turned from tender to passionate, Buck pulled away, trying to catch his breath. "I won't be able to stop this time Louise..." the deep tone of his voice made Lou feel like she might melt into the floor. "Then don't...I don't want you to." Lou watched as Buck slipped his arm out of the sling that he had put back on after finishing dinner. He untied it from around his neck and tossed it behind them. When she started to speak Buck put a finger to her lips. "Wait right here." He climbed down the ladder, leaving Lou to wonder what he was doing. When he returned moments later with two clean stable blankets, she smiled. "Are you sure your arm will be alright?" she asked as he laid a blanket down for them to sit on. Buck reached for her, and wrapping both arms tightly around her, he whispered, "I've been aching to hold you like this. I'll be careful." Lou put her arms around Buck and let her lips brush against his jaw and down the column of his neck as he held her close. It felt so good to be in his arms. She knew they probably shouldn't be doing this, but right now, being with him was all that mattered. Lou moved so that she was sitting on her knees in front of Buck, and slowly began to unbutton his shirt. She slipped it off of his shoulders, and let her hands wander over the muscles of his bare arms and chest, pausing to feel his hardened nipples. They felt like little pebbles beneath her palms. Buck leaned his head back against the wall closed his eyes, as his hands moved up Lou's thighs, around to her hips, and back down her thighs again. He let out a moan as her warm, soft lips kissed his throat and her hands moved down to his stomach. Never before had he ever had a woman touch him with the intent of giving him pleasure. Lou seemed to know just what he wanted. The slightest touch of her hand, and his body responded immediately. It was amazing. Lou's lips moved up to his, and they kissed deeply, as her hand moved down between his legs, squeezing gently. Buck moved to take her in his arms and lay her down on the blanket beneath them, his mouth still locked with hers. He ground his hips against hers, letting her feel how hard he was already. "Buck..." Lou was breathless, the intensity of her own desire, overtaking her better judgment. Reaching down between them, Buck unfastened his belt and pushed his pants down to his knees. Lou's shirt had come out of the waistband of her pants and he slipped his hand underneath the fabric, touching her bare skin. It felt so good, and when he heard Lou's whimper of desire, he thought he might explode. "I wanted to go slow this time," he said, capturing her lips for another kiss. Lou reached up and touched his face, running her fingers through his hair as she had done earlier. "I don't think...I could stand it if you did," she answered, arching her neck up for the touch of his lips. Her shirt was unbuttoned now, and Buck let his mouth trail down over her collarbone to her chest. His left hand moved to caress her breast through the thin fabric of her camisole. Her nipple was already hard, and when he pinched it lightly between his fingers, Lou's body arched in response. He was learning that her nipples were very sensitive. Pushing the fabric aside, he brushed his lips over her and then took the tiny pink bud into his mouth, circling it with his tongue. Lou's fingers tangled in his long hair and she pulled him closer. His hand cupping her other breast, Buck moved his thumb back and forth over the nipple, until it too was very hard. Lou moaned, moving her hips against Buck in an effort to get closer to him and to the satisfaction that she craved. She reached down and wrapped her fingers around him, stroking firmly. He groaned in response to her touch, and quickly moved his left hand to untie her pants, slipping his hand inside her pantalets to touch her. She moved eagerly against his hand, crying out when his fingers found the spot that longed for him. "You're so warm...so soft..." he whispered huskily. "I wish I could bury myself inside you for hours." Lou couldn't seem to catch her breath. The sensation of Buck's touch spread through her stomach and down her thighs like warm water. "Don't stop...please don't stop..." she begged. In response to her plea, Buck closed his mouth over her nipple again, suckling her as he stroked her more firmly. Lou let out a loud moan that turned into a scream as her first climax approached. "I can't wait to be inside you," he said against her skin as her body shook with release. He continued to caress her until her body calmed slightly, then pulled her pants and pantalets down her legs to take them off. He pulled her camisole up over her head, and when she was naked, he laid his body on top of her, kissing her fully on the mouth, letting his tongue slowly caress hers. Then, taking his member in his hand, he touched the tip of it against the spot where his fingers had just been, stroking gently. Both of them moaned at the sensation, and Lou arched against him, her breathing still erratic. "Buck...." she couldn't find the words for what she was feeling. He continued to move himself against her, without entering her. "You're all I think about...." he whispered. "Now that I know what it's like...to be with you, it's all I can..." Lou silenced him with a hard kiss, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. She held his head still as she kissed him, and when she felt his member push inside her, she broke away. "Yes..." she wrapped her arms around his neck, her voice hoarse with desire. "Take me please...I need you so much." Buck let himself slip inside her, then pulled out almost completely, only to thrust in again, hard. There would be no going slow this time, that was for sure. He thrust in again, his hips grinding against hers. "Yes..." Lou whispered again, urging him on. His thrusts continued reaching an almost frenzied pace, and then he buried his face in her neck as he came inside her. Lou held him close, letting her hands move up and down his back in a soothing motion. He rolled onto his right side, pulling her with him, and draped her leg over his hip so he stayed inside her. Their lips touched, and Buck pulled Lou closer to kiss her. At that moment, his heart was so full of love that it actually hurt. "I don't want to stop..." Lou told him, moving her hand down to feel where they were joined and then letting it slip between Buck's legs. Her words and the tone of desire in her voice made him hard again. Lou raised her eyebrows in surprise, then smiled at the man who lay beside her. "I guess you don't either..." Buck shook his head, and rolled onto his back so that Lou was straddling him. Just then a bolt of lightening lit up the sky, and the inside of the barn. Buck looked up at the woman that he loved, still amazed that she was in love with him too. He felt like the luckiest man alive. Lou sat looking at him for a moment, and as he began to move his hands slowly up her thighs, she leaned down to kiss him. He let his hands move to her hips, and when he reached around to squeeze her bottom, she sighed softly in his ear. He kept his hands there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her kisses on his neck and her hardened nipples against his bare chest. Then he eased her down on his growing erection. "Buck..." Lou moaned his name as he moved inside her. "I love the way you do that..." he whispered. "What?" Lou rolled her hips forward slightly and Buck gasped at the sensation. "The way you say my name..." "I love the way you touch me." Lou leaned down again, feathering kisses across Buck's chest, then teasing his small nipple with her tongue. Now it was Buck's turn to moan, and Lou wondered if his nipples could be as sensitive as hers were. She licked at his nipple again, and let her teeth graze across it. Buck's hips arched up against her, and she began to move slowly, letting him come almost all the way out then settling down on him again. She did this several times, enjoying the groans of pleasure that it drew from Buck. He reached up to fondle her breasts as she moved on top of him, and Lou's breath caught in her throat, but she still continued to move at a very measured pace. Buck arched his hips against her, trying to get her to move faster, to no avail. Finally when he could take no more, Buck grabbed her hips and pulled Lou down onto his chest. He kissed her hard, and began to thrust inside her, showing her what he wanted. "Don't make me wait anymore...please...." he rasped as he broke the kiss. "You feel so good..." Lou whispered as she sat up and began to thrust against him in earnest. Again the combination of her words and her touch increased Buck's desire. Watching Lou move above him, Buck felt himself swell inside her. As his climax began, his cries of release seemed to drown out the thunder that rolled outside the barn. As Buck reached down to pull the second blanket over them, Lou curled her body around his. She smiled, enjoying the fact that this man seemed to desire her so much. She was slightly awed by it as well. The intensity of feeling that they shared for each other was wonderful and frightening at the same time. She wondered if all couples felt this way about each other. "I love you," Buck whispered, breaking into her reverie. "I love you more," she smiled, and moved to get even closer to him. Lightening lit up the inside of the barn again, and Buck smiled at Louise, letting his fingertips trace the curve of her face. He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheeks and her lips. Lou lay in his arms with her eyes closed, thoroughly enjoying this attention. He nuzzled her neck and she sighed softly, stretching out as his left hand moved down from her breast to her waist and over her hip. His touch was soft and tender. It made her feel beautiful and very loved indeed. Buck let his hand go between Lou's legs. He thought she might be worried about getting back to Emma's, and reject his continued advances, but instead, she moved to lie on her back, her body arching up to his touch. He brushed his lips against hers and then kissed her on the mouth, letting his tongue tangle with hers. Lou reached up and wrapped her arm around his neck. His kiss seemed to make her whole body tingle. Breaking their kiss Buck whispered to her in Kiowa as his fingers continued to caress her. Lou felt her stomach muscles tighten as another climax approached. Buck could tell by the change in her breathing that she was close. He stroked harder and Lou's hips came up off the blanket in response. Her cry of release was silenced by Buck's kiss. He continued to touch her, his fingers inside her moving slowly back and forth. Lou moved in his arms restlessly, her breathing still erratic. Buck dropped his head to take her nipple in his mouth and pull on it gently with his lips. "Do you want more?" he whispered against her, pushing his fingers more deeply inside her. Lou nodded, not trusting her voice. "I'm going to make you cum again..." he said as he moved down her body. Lou's hands gripped the blanket tightly as she allowed Buck to spread her legs, and place a hand on each of her knees. She shivered as he kissed the inside of each thigh, then began long strokes with his warm, wet tongue. It took Lou a moment to realize that the moans she heard were her own. She felt like she had no control over her body. It belonged to Buck. Lou was rocking her hips against him now, and Buck moved his hands to hold her still. With one hand, he pushed gently on her stomach, letting his thumb move in circles over the spot where all of her need had centered. Then he thrust his tongue inside her. Lou gasped in surprise, and when he felt her start to pull away he stopped, moving up instead to circle her hipbone with his tongue. She shivered, and Buck felt her fingers tangle in his hair. He moved back down between her legs and touched her with the tip of his tongue, sucking gently. She moaned, her fingers pulling at his hair in an effort to bring him closer. Buck moved lower still, and this time when he slipped his tongue inside her, Lou let out another low moan. Buck increased the tempo of his ministrations, his thumb pushing against her as his tongue thrust into her again and again. Lou soon found herself in the throes of the strongest climax she'd ever experienced, almost sobbing as the orgasm pulsed through her body. Buck didn't stop, and just when she thought it would end, another wave seemed to start. She felt as though it was so intense she could take no more, and at the same time, she didn't want it to end. Finally, when Buck felt her climax subside, he moved up to take Lou in his arms. She was still quivering as he put both arms around her and she said nothing. He held her close, and a few moments later, he felt a tear fall on his shoulder. "What's wrong? Lou...?" Buck moved to look at her, but Lou shook her head, burying her face in his chest as she cried. "What is it? Did I hurt you?" Buck was suddenly afraid that he had pushed things too far, or done something that Lou wasn't ready for. "No...no," Lou answered, trying to get control of her emotions. "Then what...?" Buck touched her face, wiping away a tear with his thumb. "It's just...I never thought it would feel like this." "Like what, Sweetheart?" At his use of the endearment, Lou began to cry again, throwing her arms around his neck. Buck felt completely confused. Finally, Lou quieted and moved to look at Buck, who again wiped the tears from her eyes. "I never thought it would feel so good...sometimes I feel like I can hardly stand it..." "I know..." he answered softly. "The first time we were together, I thought that...I guess I thought since it was our first time and you told me about all the feelings that you had, that's why it was so amazing." Buck smiled, thinking back to the intensity of their lovemaking in the cabin. "I never thought it would be that way again. But it seems like every time is more...." Lou searched for a word and then let out a sigh of frustration. "I don't know how to explain it but...sometimes it scares me." "I don't ever want to frighten you Lou. If there's anything we do that makes you uncomfortable..." Lou silenced him with a light kiss and shook her head. "That's not what I mean. It's just overwhelming sometimes, all the things that being with you makes me feel." At her honesty, Buck suddenly felt like he might start to cry. At that moment he finally, really believed that Lou did love him just as much as he loved her. He pulled her close and held her. Both of them quiet for a time. "Can I ask you something?" Lou whispered, breaking the silence between them. "Anything." "How old were you when you left the Kiowa?" "Almost thirteen. Why?" Buck was surprised by her question. "I just wondered if you...umm...did court anyone in the village?" "I was promised to someone. She was a white captive that grew up in our village." "Was she killed when the village was raided?" "I don't know. That's part of why I left, to find her. But then I ended up at the mission school...why are you asking me this?" Lou was glad that the barn was dark, because she found herself blushing as she answered. "I just wondered if you've ever...made love to anyone else." Buck wasn't quite sure how to answer. He wasn't completely inexperienced, but he'd never actually made love to a woman before Lou. "It's just that...some of the things we've done...I wondered if..." Buck smiled at her, thinking that now he understood what she was trying to ask. "I've never made love to anyone before, Louise. Not like I have with you." "Then how..." "You learn a lot living in a Kiowa village. There's not much privacy, believe me." "Oh." Lou was quiet again, snuggled close to Buck, letting her hand rest on his chest. "When I was in St. Joe, and I stopped in the shop where I bought your present, there were these girls there...one of them had just gotten married and she was gossiping with her friends about...about being a "wife" to her husband. They were all asking her what it was like and..." "How did you hear all this?" Buck interrupted. "You weren't eavesdropping were you?" "I have very good hearing", Lou explained. "I see....finish your story" he smiled. "Anyway, her friends asked her what it was like, and she made this face and said she really didn't like it, but her mother had told her not to expect much, that it was just part of being married." "Really..." "I heard her say that and I thought to myself that whoever she's married to must be doing something really wrong..." Before she could finish her sentence, Buck burst out laughing. "No really," she continued. "I've heard a lot of woman say things like that, and now I just don't understand it...how can they not want to...what's so funny?" Lou asked as Buck continued to laugh. "I think that may be the best compliment anyone has ever given me." Buck grinned, pulling her close for a kiss. "Don't let it go to your head, just because you're amazing, and beautiful, and..." "Stop...if you don't stop I'm never going to let you out of this hayloft." "Promise?" Lou smiled wickedly at him and reached down to stroke his manhood. He reached down and moved her hand away. "You are going to get us in a lot of trouble," he grinned. "It's all your fault," Lou countered as she let him roll her onto her back. "When we get married I think I'm just going to leave the bedroom to you and I'll sleep in the barn." Buck looked at her so seriously that Lou's brow knotted with concern. "Why?" she asked, giving him a worried look. "How else will we get any work done? I'll never get any sleep!" As Buck smiled down at her, Lou started to giggle. "You had me scared there for a minute," she said as she moved her head up to kiss him. Buck enjoyed the kiss and then wrapped the blanket closer around her. "I think we should go check on those horses," he said after a few seconds of holding Lou close. "The rain has stopped and the others will be expecting us." Lou nodded and moved to gather their clothing. As they silently dressed in the pale moonlight, Buck couldn't help but smile. He was so lucky to have a woman like Lou care for him. He quickly finished dressing and pulled her to him for one more kiss before going down the ladder to tend the stock. They had just finished with the last horse, and managed to put the blankets back where they belonged when Teaspoon entered the barn. "I told Emma you probably decided to wait out the storm over here," he said with a slight smile. "If I were you, I'd hurry on back over to the house and let her know that you didn't wash away." Lou simply nodded and Buck said, "Yes sir. I'll get her back over there right away." As they walked back to the house, Buck remembered that he still hadn't told Lou his good news. He took her hand in his and pulled her to a stop at the bottom porch step. "I have some news for you," he said. "I talked to Sam today about being his new deputy. He said I could start next month." He waited a few seconds before adding, "That would mean we could get married..." He stopped talking when he saw the look on Lou's face. Chapter Twenty-six "Is something wrong?" he asked. "I thought you'd be happy. Don't you want to marry me?" Lou studied Buck carefully. "Of course I want to marry you," she said. "I'm just not sure I want you to be a deputy. It's a dangerous job." Buck laughed. "Not anymore so than the one I do now," he said. "Besides, we all work as Sam's deputy when he needs help." He paused once more. "I can tell him I changed my mind," he said. "He told me he'd hold the job for me." "Did you tell him why you wanted it?" Lou asked a bit concerned that everyone in town now knew her secret. "I told him I'd met a young lady and that we were considering marriage," Buck said. "I didn't mention names or where I'd met her. I just let him know I was interested and that I couldn't start right away because of my arm." Lou took a deep breath. "Have you told Teaspoon yet?" she asked. Buck shook his head. "I think he suspects, but I haven't told anyone except Ike that I've even thought about asking you to get married. You wanted to wait." Lou looked at Buck and studied the man standing before her. She couldn't believe how considerate of her feelings and desires he was. Lou could tell that he had given much thought to his decision to talk to Sam, and as he quietly waited it dawned on her that if she said she didn't want him to take the job, he would go tell Sam he was sorry, but he wouldn't be able to work for him. "Do you really want to be a deputy, or are you just grabbing the first thing that comes along?" she asked. Buck took a deep breath to steady his nerves. "I really like working with Sam," he said, "and I know I can do this job. I'm not sure what else I can do. The stables in town don't need any more help, most of the farms and ranches around here don't need help, or won't want me because I'm Kiowa." He stopped and shrugged. "If you don't..." Lou cut him off with a kiss. "I just don't want you taking a job you're going to hate so we can be together. I want you to be happy. If you really believe that being Sam's deputy will make you happy, then of course I want you to take the job." Buck smiled at her. "I really believe I can be happy doing anything as long as you're by my side," he said. "I also think that being a deputy is well suited to my skills so I'll go into town in the morning and let Sam know that I can start next month. Now all we need to do is find us a place to live and hope your brother doesn't hate me too badly." "He doesn't hate you," Lou said as she helped Buck adjust his sling. "He's just worried that if I find me a husband, he and Theresa will be left out in the cold. I've already told him that won't happen, but I don't think he really believes me." Buck nodded. "Maybe I can say something in the morning about how much you care for the two of them." He paused a few seconds before adding, "I could also let him know that we're seeing each other and that I would be honored to be a part of the family." He glanced at Lou to await her response. Lou shook her head, "I want to be honest with them. I think we should just tell them that we're engaged to be married, and we should tell them together." "Alright," Buck agreed. "When would you like to do that?" Lou studied Buck's face for a moment, then suddenly grabbed his hand and started up the steps. "Come on!" She opened the door, to find Emma standing in the entryway. "There you are! I was wondering what happened to the two of you." "We were just talking..." Lou looked down at the ground, suddenly unsure of herself. "Something wrong, Lulabelle?" "Buck and I need to talk to you Emma. I know it's getting late..." "Never too late for a talk. Why don't we go into the parlor?" Emma led the couple into her sitting room, noticing the death grip that Lou had on Buck's hand. Once they were all seated, Emma smiled again, hoping to put them at ease. "Now, what did you want to talk about?" Lou looked at Buck, and he gave her an encouraging smile. He knew she thought of Emma as a mother, just as they all did, but Lou felt especially close to her. With a deep breath, she turned to Emma to make her announcement. "Buck and I are getting married!" Now her eyes sparkled, and she put a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. She realized that she had never said those words out loud until now. "You are?" Emma was not completely surprised, but she hadn't expected such an announcement so soon. Lou nodded, "Uh huh." She had a huge smile on her face, and when Buck saw it, he couldn't help smiling himself. "Oh Louise, that's wonderful!" Emma stood up and gave the girl a hug, then pulled Buck to his feet and hugged him too. "When did this happen?" Emma asked. "The night before I left for St. Joe. That's the main reason I brought Jeremiah and Theresa back with me. I wanted them to spend some time with Buck." "Have you made any plans yet?" Buck shook his head. "Nobody else knows. We need to find a place to live and I need to find another job first." Emma nodded as she listened, her heart warmed at the thought of these two people that she cared so much for finding happiness together. "I guess we should tell you too that Sam offered me a job as his deputy." "He did? I know he's been looking for someone..." Buck nodded, "I told him that I was courting someone...I didn't say who....and that I needed another job." "So have you accepted his offer?" Buck and Lou looked at each other. "Not yet. That's part of what we were talking about." "Well, think of it this way. If you work for Sam, you'll still be right here in town. I hate the thought of the two of you moving away." Lou smiled at Buck, "I guess you'd better go talk to Sam tomorrow." "You mean you want me to take it?" Lou nodded, and Buck pulled her into an embrace. Now they were one step closer to being man and wife. "Thank you," Emma said. Buck and Lou were busy smiling at each other, but Emma's statement brought them back to the moment. "What for?" Lou asked. "For sharing your news with me first. I'm honored." "Oh Emma, I wanted to tell you sooner but...I guess we haven't had much of a chance to talk, what with the kids here. You've helped me so much, and I just wouldn't feel right not telling you first." Emma smiled and gave Lou another tight hug. "We're going to tell Jeremiah and Theresa in the morning, and then after Buck talks to Sam we can tell everybody else." "That sounds like a very good idea. And now I think you both need to get some rest." Emma took Buck by the arm and walked with him to the front door. "I'm heading up to bed. Louise, I expect you upstairs in ten minutes." "Yes ma'am." As Emma turned to go, Buck started after her. "Emma?" She turned to Buck with a questioning look. "I just want you to know...I'll take good care of her. All I want is to make her happy." Emma smiled and leaned up to kiss Buck on the cheek. "Looks to me like you've already done that. Just take care of each other and the two of you will be fine." Standing out on the porch, Buck and Lou were still smiling. "Is it ok that I told Emma?" Lou asked. "Of course it is...I just wasn't expecting it." Buck smiled. That was one thing about Lou that he loved, she always kept him guessing. "If you want to talk to Ike before we tell everyone else, you can. I know the two of you haven't spent much time together lately." "He understands. I think he's a little jealous though." "Of me?" "Not of you exactly. He's just mad that I'm in love and he's not. I told him when the right woman comes along, he'll know it." Lou smiled and sighed as Buck pulled her into a tight embrace. She leaned up for his kiss and opened her lips for his tongue. After a few moments, both of them pulled away. "You'd better go inside," Buck told her breathlessly. Lou nodded, and quickly stole another kiss. "Good night. I love you." "I love you more." Buck smiled, repeating the phrase that Lou had used earlier. That night, Buck decided to sleep in the barn. He had a lot to think about, and the relative quiet of the barn appealed to him over the "noise" of his roommates in the bunkhouse. Cody was even loud in his sleep. Buck sat up for a time, thinking about the eminent changes in his life. In the very near future, he was going to be married, with a new job, and an instant family. Even though Jeremiah and Theresa were Lou's brother and sister, Buck understood and he and Louise would essentially be mother and father to these children. He would be responsible for raising them, giving them values, and preparing them to make their own way in the world. The thought of it was daunting to say the least. Still, Buck felt that if he and Lou were together, they could conquer whatever obstacles might come their way. Everything was possible if they had each other. Drifting into a pleasant sleep, Buck dreamt. He saw himself with Jeremiah and Theresa on the bank of a river, skipping rocks across the surface of the water. Next, he saw Lou, with a dark haired baby in her arms. Suddenly, the dream turned ominous. He could hear Lou calling to him, but he couldn't find her anywhere. The sky was dark, and rain pounded the prairie. He could see Lou, cold and scared, crying for him, but he just couldn't get to her. He woke from the nightmare, gasping for breath and disoriented. It was morning, and he was in the barn. Without thinking, he ran to the bunkhouse, where the rest of the riders, were just waking up. "Lou!" Buck tore open the door, to see four faces staring at him. "Where's Lou?" he demanded, panicking momentarily when he saw her empty bed. "She's at Emma's." Jimmy looked at the Kiowa as though he'd lost his mind. "Where the hell have you been all night?" Buck ignored the question and turned toward Emma's at a run. "That boy is crazy," Cody announced. "Lou!" Buck called for her just before he opened the back door into Emma's kitchen. "Buck? What's wrong?" Emma saw the almost desperate look on Buck's face. "Where's Lou? Is she..." "I'm right here." Lou came into the kitchen, wondering what in world was going on. With two long strides, Buck made his way to her and pulled her into his arms. "You're alright..." he whispered in a broken voice. "Of course I am..." Lou looked up at him with confusion when he stepped back from her. She could see the fear in his eyes. "What is it?" she asked, gently touching his face. Buck took a deep breath, finally coming out the haze of fear that the dream had brought on. Lou guided him to sit down at the table and Emma brought him a glass of water. "I had a dream. You were lost and hurt...I couldn't find you. You kept calling me but I couldn't find you." Seeing the almost haunted look in his eyes, Lou took him in her arms again. "It was just a dream, Buck. I'm right here. I'm fine." Buck held her close, trying to calm his nerves. The dream had felt so real. Finally, Buck was able to release Lou from his grasp. He took several deep breaths before speaking, "I didn't mean to frighten anyone; I just needed to know you were alright. It felt so real. I was afraid I'd lost you." Lou gently hugged Buck. She didn't know what to say to him so she just sat next to him until he was ready to face the day. Emma had the twosome help her get things over to the bunkhouse for breakfast. She was relieved to see that Buck seemed to be adjusting to the fact that it had all been a dream. As everyone prepared for the day ahead, Emma decided she needed to give Buck the chance to go visit with Sam without rousing anyone's suspicions. "Buck," she asked, as she cleared away the last of the dishes, "do you think you could go with Lou this morning to pick up supplies? I know you're not really supposed to be lifting, but there's so much other work to be done here." Buck nodded. "I think I can do that," he said. Lou smiled at Emma. "We can take Theresa and Jeremiah with us; they can help with the heavy things." "I have to water the horses," Jeremiah said. "I didn't get it done before breakfast because no one woke me." "I'm sorry," said Buck. "I was planning on getting you up in time to have that finished. Why don't we go do it now while Lou gets the buckboard ready?" Jeremiah hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. "Ok." As they walked over the stables, Jeremiah glanced at Buck. "So how much longer do you have to wear that sling?" "A few more days. I was thinking maybe I'd visit the doc while I'm in town and see if I can get him to let me take it off sooner." "Cody said it got broke 'cause somebody beat you up." "Yes, they did." Buck made a mental note to "thank" Cody for sharing that information with an eleven year-old. They entered the stables and gathered the buckets they needed to take to the well. Buck stopped to greet his horse, and a few of the others. "Why do you do that?" Jeremiah asked. Buck smiled at the boy. "Well, how would you feel if nobody said good morning to you?" Jeremiah considered this as they walked to the well. "So how did you get away from the man that broke your arm?" Buck glanced at Jeremiah, grateful that neither he nor Lou had told anyone that she had killed the man who tried to hurt him. "Your sister was with me on the run. I was able to fight him off with her help." "She's pretty tough, huh?" "Yes, she's a very strong person. Once she makes up her mind to do something there's no stopping her." As Buck watched Jeremiah water the horses, doing everything exactly as Buck had shown him the night before, he smiled. "I get the feeling that you're a lot like your sister." Jeremiah turned to look at Buck. "What makes you say that?" he asked as he finished with the last horse. Buck shrugged. "Just watching the way you do things, how you act." Jeremiah simply nodded as he started to place the buckets in their proper place. When he was finished, he turned to Buck. He studied the man before him and finally asked, "You think you could show me how to do that tracking stuff?" Buck nodded. "I'd be pleased to show you how to track someone," he said. "Maybe when we get back from town, we can see if Cody will set up a trail for us to follow. He really did a good job yesterday." "But you got to where we were going before we did. He must of done something wrong," said Jeremiah. "I made a lucky guess," said Buck. "You ready to head into town?" "If the doctor lets you take off that sling, are you going to try breaking that horse?" Jeremiah asked as they walked past the corral with the unruly animal. Buck shrugged once more. "Probably not today," he said, "but I could give it a try before you leave if you'd like to help." "Me help?" asked Jeremiah. "Why would you want me to help? I ain't never done nothing like that." "You're good with the horses," said Buck. "You move slow and quietly. I think you could probably break that horse if someone showed you how. Interested?" Jeremiah once more studied the young Kiowa closely. He was so certain that Buck didn't like him after the incident with Lou, but now he wasn't as sure. He decided not to let on that he was beginning to respect the older boy's abilities. He shrugged. "I'll have to see how things are going," was all he answered before he ran off to see if Lou needed any help. Buck joined them just in time to help Theresa onto the seat next to Lou and Jeremiah. "I'll just ride back here," he said, hopping into the back. Theresa looked at Lou. "Can I ride back there too?" she asked. "That way we can practice our Lakota." Lou nodded. She glanced at Buck and shrugged. As he leaned forward to help Theresa into the back with him, Lou whispered, "We'll have to tell them later; maybe when we get back to the station the four of us can go for a walk." The ride into town was uneventful. Theresa and Buck practiced what she had already learned in Lakota and he taught her the names of some of the things they passed as Lou drove. Jeremiah wasn't in a very talkative mood as he thought over his conversation with Buck. He hated to admit to himself that he might have misjudged the older boy. He really seemed to care about Louise and Theresa; he even was taking an interest in Jeremiah. He sighed as they pulled to a stop in front of the store. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens the rest of the time we're here, he thought as he climbed down off the buckboard. Buck assisted Theresa the best he could. "I'm going to go talk to the doctor and then let Sam know my decision," he told Lou. "I'll meet you back here as quickly as I can." Lou simply nodded. "These two can help me," she said as she turned to face her siblings. "Don't go touching everything in the place," she told them as they went towards the door. Before she opened it, she leaned down and whispered, "And remember, my name's Lou - not Louise." Theresa giggled and Jeremiah just stared at her. "We ain't stupid," he said as he pulled open the door. Buck watched them enter and then quickly made his way to the doctor's office. He was pleased to find the man alone. "It hasn't bothered me at all," he explained as the doctor quickly looked his shoulder over. The older man laughed softly. "I suppose that you'll do what you want anyway," he said. "Fine, take off the sling, but the first hint of pain and it goes back on. Understand?" Buck nodded. "Yes, Sir. If it starts to bother me at all, I'll put the sling back on for the rest of the day. I promise." He shook the man's hand and left with a huge smile on his face. Things couldn't possibly get any better than this. He made his way to Sam's office. When he opened the door, he was surprised to find Sam had company. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't realize you had someone visiting you." "That's alright," said Sam. "I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Jamison and his daughter, Monique. They just arrived from St. Louis. This is Buck Cross." The man turned to study Buck closely. He didn't put out a hand or offer a smile, but the young lady did both. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Cross," she said sweetly. "You'll have to forgive Father's manners. We had a bit of an adventure on our way in and he's in an unpleasant mood." Buck took the offered hand. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Jamison. Please, call me Buck." He looked past the girl and her father to where Sam was standing. "Anything I can help with?" he asked. "If you were 100% I'd have you out tracking," Sam said. "I guess I'll go ask Teaspoon if I can borrow Cody for the day since you can't ride yet." Buck's smile grew even brighter. "I can help," he said. "Doc just cleared me. I just need to be careful, but tracking won't hurt it. Besides, it would be my job in a month anyway." Sam looked at him. "You mean you're taking the job?" he asked. Buck nodded. "That's why I came over here to talk to you. I need to get back over to Tompkins and help load up supplies. I'll come right back as soon as I get my horse." Sam shook his head. "We need to go out past the station anyway; Mr. Jamison and I will just meet you there in a few minutes." He turned back to the man in front of him and once more started to look over the map that lay on the desk in front of them. Monique smiled sweetly at Buck. "While the two of them are figuring out where it is exactly we were accosted, would you mind greatly showing me where I could purchase a few necessities?" Buck said, "Not at all. I was headed there myself." He opened the door and held it as the young lady gracefully walked out of the room. As they crossed the street, she innocently slipped her hand around Buck's elbow and allowed him to escort her across the street to Tompkins' store. As they approached, Lou and the kids came out with the last of the supplies. When Lou saw the beautiful young lady attached to Buck's arm, she felt a fit of jealousy fill her soul. "Well," she said as Buck walked to the side of the wagon, "you've got perfect timing. We just finished loading everything." She turned to Jeremiah. "Go fetch you sister. We need to be getting back to the station." Buck noticed the coldness to Lou's voice, but decided not to acknowledge it in front of Jeremiah and Monique. As he ushered the young lady towards the door he wondered what had happened to cause Lou to be so upset. "I'll get her," he said. "I need to introduce Miss Jamison to Mr. Tompkins anyway." He went into the store praying that Theresa didn't get outside before he did. The way Lou was acting he'd be walking home if she did. "Miss Jamison?" Lou repeated the name in her head. Who the heck was she, and why was she holding on to Buck's arm like that? As she watched the tall beautiful blonde walk away with her fianc�, Lou felt anger getting the better of her. Her hands became tight fists as she fought to control her temper. "What's the matter?" Jeremiah asked her, seeing the immediate change in his sister's demeanor. "Nothin'. Get in the buckboard," Lou told him through gritted teeth. Buck and Monique entered the store, and Tompkins scowled when he glanced up and saw the Kiowa coming toward him, "What...." He stopped when he saw the woman that had followed Buck inside. "Can I help you Miss?" he smiled. "I certainly hope so. Mr. Cross has been kind enough to escort me..." Monique looked at Buck, obviously waiting for him to introduce her to the shopkeeper. "This is Monique Jamison, Mr. Tompkins. She and her father just came into town, from St. Louis." "Pleased to meet you ma'am." Mr. Tompkins nodded to her and Monique smiled a lovely smile in return. "Thank you. My father and I haven't had the best luck on our journey. We were robbed just outside of Sweetwater, several of our belongings were stolen, so I'm in need of some things..." "Of course, what can I show you?" Mr. Tompkins came from around the counter, and as he and Miss Jamison talked, Buck turned to look for Theresa. "There you are," he smiled when he spotted the young girl in a corner, reading a book. Theresa grinned at him, "You're not wearing your sling." "Nope. The doctor said I could go without it as long as I'm careful." He began guiding the youngster toward the door of the store. "They're waiting for you in the buckboard. I'll be right out." "Aren't you coming?" Theresa asked. Buck glanced over at Monique and Tompkins. "In a minute. Tell Lou I'll be right there." Buck turned to see his new acquaintance smiling at him. "I'm so sorry to keep you. Mr. Tompkins said he'd just be a moment and then I'll be finished." "No problem. I'm just sorry that this happened to you." "Neither of us were hurt, that's what's important. Just bit of bad luck. Now that we're in Sweetwater, I'm hoping my luck will change." Monique smiled at Buck from beneath her long lashes. "Maybe so," Buck commented, her flirtation lost on him. "So what do you do Mr. Cross?" "I'm a rider for the Pony Express. There's a station just outside of town." "How exciting. I just finished school in St. Louis. My father is here to start some new business venture." "Guess this is a lot different from St. Louis, huh?" At that moment, Mr. Tompkins returned from the back of the store with Monique's purchases. She paid for them quickly, and then wondered how she was going to carry all of them to the hotel where they were staying. "You can just load them in our wagon," Buck offered. "Really? That's too kind of you." "Didn't Lou say you ain't supposed to be lifting anything?" Tompkins observed. Buck was so shocked that Bill Tompkins would show anything even approaching concern for him, that he was speechless. "Come on, I'll load it in the buckboard. Can't believe all the grief you boys give me," he grumbled. As Buck explained his injury for the reason that he couldn't carry anything, Tompkins went outside and began to place Monique's purchases next to the supplies that Lou had just loaded. "What's that?" she asked. When she saw Buck emerge from the store with the blond girl still on his arm, it was her turn to be at a loss for words. "Lou, this is Monique Jamison. She and her father just arrived here from St. Louis. They were robbed on their way into town..." as Buck explained the situation to Lou, she listened, her face showing little expression. ...so I thought we'd just take her over to the hotel and then Sam and her father are supposed to come by the station. Sam wants some help tracking the men who stole their belongings." "Don't you think you should check with Teaspoon before promisin' Sam your help? If you can track, I'm sure there's plenty around the station that needs to be done." Monique looked at the small dark-haired boy talking to Buck, sensing she had offended him in some way, "I certainly don't want to cause a problem with your employer Mr....Buck." she smiled sweetly at the Kiowa. "I'm sure it will be fine Miss Jamison. We try to help out the Marshal whenever we can. Jeremiah, why don't you sit back here with me and Theresa and let Miss Jamison sit in front." The girl reached out to touch Buck's arm as he turned away, "Please, call me Monique." They stopped at the hotel, and Buck got out of the wagon, coming around to help Monique down from her spot beside Lou. As Lou watched the girl place her hand in Buck's, she had an overwhelming urge to tear out all of her long blonde hair. But, all she could do was watch in silence, as Buck unloaded her purchases and walked with her into the hotel lobby. "Thank you so much, Buck, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help." "You're welcome." "I'm sure I'll see you again. Perhaps once all of this trouble has died down you'd agree to show me around Sweetwater." She touched his arm again, and it began to dawn on Buck that perhaps this young lady was interested in more than friendship. Moving his arm slightly so that her hand fell away, Buck smiled. "I'm sure any of the boys at the station would be happy to show you around town." "I'm sure none of them are as nice as you," She said coyly. Buck blushed slightly before answering, "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be busy for the next few days, besides I'm sort of spoken for." With that he tipped his hat at her and headed back out to the buckboard. As he climbed up next to Lou, she snapped, "Why did you have to do that?" "What?" Buck asked, "Be nice to someone who's just been robbed?" Chapter Twenty-seven Lou shot daggers at him with her eyes. "I noticed she didn't have any trouble paying for her purchases at Tompkins. What kind of robber goes off and leaves a girl her purse?" Before Buck could answer she started the horses, causing him to almost fall into the back with the kids. Jeremiah smiled to himself as he realized that Louise was really mad at the Kiowa. I might not have to worry about him after all, he thought to himself as they made the trip back to the station in silence. When they reached the station, Lou still wasn't speaking to Buck. He helped unload the supplies and then went to find Teaspoon since he didn't have much time before Sam was due to arrive. After talking to the older man, Buck prepared his horse and then went in search of Lou. "Can we talk?" he asked her as he made his way to where she was sitting with Emma. She just glared at him. "I didn't do anything wrong," he said, "and I told her I was spoken for. What was I supposed to do when she asked to be shown where the store was and I was going that way? Tell her, 'I'm sorry. I can't be of assistance because my intended will be mad at me if I speak to any woman other than her?' " Lou didn't smile, but she did drop her gaze. Buck looked at Emma for assistance. She smiled at him before standing. "I think you two need to be alone," she said. She placed a hand on Lou's knee. "Listen to him before you say anything you'll regret, and remember what you told me that first night you were back." Buck carefully took the seat Emma had just vacated. "Lou," he pleaded. "I'm sorry if I upset you, but I really didn't do anything other than walk her across the street and help her with a few packages." When Lou still didn't speak, he continued, "I was just so happy because the doctor said I could take off the sling, and then Sam wanted me to help and was glad I could take the job as his deputy." "Why did you let her hang on you like that?" Lou finally asked. Buck shrugged. "I didn't think about it," he said. "I was just so pleased that things were finally working out so that we could be together - really together - that I didn't even notice what she was doing until we were at the hotel. As soon as I figured out that she was flirting with me I told her I was spoken for, and that someone else would have to show her around town." Lou finally looked up at Buck. When she saw the look in his eyes, she felt her anger subsiding. "You really didn't notice how beautiful she was?" she asked. Buck slowly put his arm around Lou and pulled her to him. "No one is as beautiful as you are," he said as he kissed her forehead. As she felt his lips on her skin, Lou's anger slowly faded away. "I'm sorry," she said. "I saw this beautiful woman on your arm, and you were smiling and laughing. I just couldn't help the doubts. I guess it was kind of like the way you felt when you saw Jimmy and me when we first got back from our run." Buck nodded. "I remember," he said. "I will do my best to never make you feel that way again. I really don't even know what she looks like; she's not you, so I don't care." He once more kissed her forehead. As Lou moved to capture his lips, Jeremiah came around the corner of the house. "The marshal and some other man are here looking for you," he said to Buck, dislike evident in his voice. Buck turned so that Lou's lips brushed his cheek. "Thank you," he said to Jeremiah. "Would you tell them I'll be right there?" "Tell them yourself," Jeremiah said, "I ain't your servant." He started to walk away when Buck's hand closed around his arm. Jeremiah tensed. "I'll go tell them," he said, and Buck let him go. Buck shook his head as Jeremiah ran off to where Sam and Mr. Jamison were waiting - talking to Teaspoon. "I don't think he likes me very much," he said. Lou moved to stand beside Buck. "I think he's a bit scared of you," she said. "You'd better go if you're going to help Sam. We can talk to the kids when you get back. Be careful." She quickly kissed him and then made her way over to the bunkhouse. Lou watched from the door of the bunkhouse as Buck rode off with the Marshal and Mr. Jamison. She realized then that she had missed seeing him on a horse. Sitting atop his horse, Buck was most comfortable. Lou smiled slightly, hoping that since his arm was now healed, they could really begin to plan the rest of their lives, together. Just as she was about to close the bunkhouse door, Cody caught it and held it open. "Hey, Lou...who's that?" "Who?" Lou looked outside again just in time to see Monique Jamison riding into the yard. "What's she doing here?" Lou practically hissed, as she started into the yard. "You know her? Maybe you could introduce me." "Not now, Cody. Give it a rest." "Hello," Monique smiled as she dismounted. "You're Buck's friend, aren't you?" "Yeah," Lou answered. "I'm sorry to trouble you but, I got directions in town to the station. I'm all by myself and...I was hoping I could wait here for my father to return." 'That better be all you're waitin' for' Lou thought to herself. Monique kept the smile on her face as Lou stood looking at her. "Howdy ma'am," Cody tipped his hat. "William F. Cody at your service. You're more than welcome to rest here for as long as you like." "Thank you." Chapter Twenty-eight As Buck rode, he kept feeling the eyes of Mr. Jamison studying him. After a few minutes of the close scrutiny, Buck decided it was time to find out exactly what was troubling the older man. "Is there a reason you keep staring at me?" he asked as politely as he could. Mr. Jamison dropped his gaze. "I can't help feeling that I should know you," he said. "Have you ever been to St. Louis?" Buck started to shake his head, but realized that he'd actually been near there years ago just after Ike and he had left the mission school. "A few years ago, my friend and I worked on a farm near there," he said, "but we never actually went into the city." Mr. Jamison nodded. "That explains it," he said suddenly relaxing his guard. "Explains what?" asked Sam, confused by the sudden relaxation of his traveling companion. "Why I feel I should know Buck, here," said Mr. Jamison. He turned his gaze once more towards Buck. "You're friend doesn't talk, right?" Buck nodded, studying the man closely as he tried to place him from his past. "I was the man who you worked for," he said. "You and your friend used to entertain Monique with strange stories of adventure. I think it was your friend who made them up, but you were the one who told them." "You mean that Monique is 'Monkey?" he asked as realization hit him. He recovered quickly from this uncharacteristic display of emotion by adding, "Ike does have a great imagination." "I didn't see him back at the station," Mr. Jamison said. "He's off on a run," Buck answered. "He should be back later tonight. He sure is going to be surprised." "I'm sorry about the way I acted earlier today," Mr. Jamison said. "I kept thinking I recognized you because you were one of the robbers; just now, I was watching you so intently to be sure you didn't give your accomplices a signal to ambush us." He paused a few seconds before adding, "This explains why Monique was so happy when I got to the hotel this afternoon. She kept saying, 'I found him. I was right; he is here!' I'm afraid I was so upset I didn't pay much attention to her. I hope I can make it up to her by finding her belongings." The mention of Monique's belongings made Buck remember Lou's comment about being able to pay for her purchases. "I was wondering," he said, "do you know who she managed to keep some of her money?" "What do you mean?" asked Mr. Jamison. "Those men took everything we had. They even took the wagon and horses; we had to walk into town." Buck frowned. Something wasn't right here. "At the store in town, she took money from her purse," he explained. "I was just wondering why the robbers didn't take that from her." "Because she travels with it well hidden," explained Mr. Jamison. "It's never in plain sight." Sam spoke up, "I hate to interrupt this reunion," he said, "but we're getting near to where you said this happened. I think it would be a good idea for Buck to start looking for tracks." Buck dismounted and quickly found the trail. Since Mr. Jamison had said there were only two men, and Buck couldn't find evidence that others were in hiding, Sam decided it was fine if the three of them went on alone. In no time at all, Mr. Jamison once more had his wagon and worldly goods and the group was headed back to the station. "Riders comin' Cody announced as he leaned against the railing of Emma' front porch. Since Monique's arrival, 3 hours earlier, he had barely left her side. She, Emma and Theresa were sitting on the porch, enjoying the late afternoon sun while Emma mended some clothes. Theresa seemed fascinated by the blond girl, who was so physically different from her sister. For her part, Lou had stayed clear of Monique, in part so that she would not have to work so hard at being "Lou" around her, and because even though she wasn't as worried about Monique's interest in Buck, the girl's overly sweet personality grated on her nerves. Lou stood back and watched Jimmy finishing his chores at lightening speed, with Jeremiah's help. "What are you in such a hurry for?" she asked. "Not every day a pretty girl shows up around here. I can't let Cody have all the fun." When Jimmy saw the look on Lou's face, he smiled. "Don't be jealous of her. Besides, you're already spoken for." Just then Jimmy and Lou heard the sound of horses and a wagon approaching. Exiting the barn, Jimmy held up a hand in greeting to Buck and Sam. "Looks like they got their stuff back�.wonder what happened to Buck?" As they came closer, Lou could see that Buck's shirt was stained with blood. For a moment she froze and then she ran. Just as Buck dismounted, Emma and Monique approached from the other direction. "What happened?" Emma asked with concern. "You're not hurt are you?" Monique reached to touch Buck's arm and he backed away just slightly. "It's not my blood�I'm fine. We just had a little scuffle is all." "You sure?" Emma pressed. Buck nodded and looked at Lou, who was standing behind Emma now. "I'm fine," he said again, with a smile. Lou felt weak in the knees she was so relieved. She wanted more than anything to put her arms around Buck and give him a hug, but instead she was forced to stand by and do nothing. "Well what about me?" Mr. Jamison smiled as he got down from the wagon. "Don't I get any greeting?" "You found everything?" Monique asked her father. "Thanks to Buck and Marshal Cain, we sure did." His daughter practically knocked him over with a hug. "Thank you, Daddy." "Don't thank me, it's these gentleman that did all the hard work." "Thank you, Marshal." Monique smiled at Sam, and proceeded to hug him too. Although slightly taken aback, Sam recovered quickly. When she approached Buck, he held up a hand to stop her. "I wouldn't want you to get blood on your dress." As the blond girl turned away, he winked at Lou, who had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from laughing. "Well," Emma announced, it's about time I got started on supper. Mr. Jamison, if you'd like, you and your daughter are more than welcome to stay." "I'm sure we don't want to impose�" "Not at all. We'd love the company." "We sure would," Cody piped up. "Besides," Buck looked at Monique, "I think there's someone else that would like to meet you." Monique turned to look at him. "Why do you say that?" she asked coyly. Buck simply shrugged. "All the other riders have had the pleasure; it would be a shame if he was the only one who had no idea whom we were talking about." With that said, he headed to the bunkhouse and a clean set of clothing. Monique watched him leave before turning to her father. "Did you tell him?" she asked. "It came up," he said as he started to unhook the horses from the wagon. "He seems to think Ike will be pleased we came." He studied his daughter closely a few seconds before asking, "You've been keeping up with them ever since they left, haven't you?" She smiled and dropped her gaze. "I've written Ike a time or two," she admitted. "He didn't write back the last time so I was worried that something happened to him or Buck. Since we were moving out west anyway, I didn't see any harm in trying to find them in Sweetwater." She glanced up at her father. "You aren't mad are you?" Her father smiled and shook his head. "I'm just worried that you are setting yourself up for another upset. I'm not sure I can take another episode like you went through the last time they left." While Monique and her father were checking their belongings, Emma had the riders leave them alone. "You can all help me with dinner," she said as she gave them each a small job to keep them busy, and allow her time to visit with Sam. Lou was given the task of getting the bunkhouse ready for the guests to be able to join them. She hurried over quickly, hoping to catch Buck before he went to clean up. As soon as she entered the room, he took her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She melted into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting her fingers become tangled in his long dark hair. She shivered slightly and Buck pulled away. "Are you cold?" he whispered as he nuzzled her neck. Lou shook her head, "You're the one without a shirt on." She smiled as she let her hands move over the smooth skin of Buck's back and shoulders. "Keep this up and you won't be wearing one either." Buck suddenly picked Lou up off the floor, and ignoring her squeals of protest, threw her over his shoulder, and deposited her gently on his bunk. "You have to be careful of your shoulder," she cautioned, as Buck moved to cover her body with his. She tried to look stern, but gave up, just letting herself enjoy being in the arms of the man she loved. "My shoulder's fine." "When you rode in and I saw that blood on your shirt, I thought..." "I know; but everything is fine. The ride went really well. Mr. Jamison is just happy to have everything back, and I think I showed Sam that I won't disappoint him." "That's wonderful." Lou smiled at Buck, but he could tell something was bothering her. "What's wrong?" he asked, gently caressing her cheek with his thumb. Lou shrugged, "Nothing I guess. Just tried to keep myself busy today..." Buck arched an eyebrow at her, knowing there was more to the situation than Lou was admitting. She sighed heavily, part of her hating to admit that Monique's presence was still bothering her. "Just seemed like I was in everybody's way I guess. I tried to steer clear of Monique, 'cause I didn't want to have to work at being "Lou" around her. Jimmy and Cody are fallin' all over themselves just to get a glimpse of her, and Theresa thinks she's beautiful....she is...but you know what I mean..." Lou looked up at Buck, hoping she didn't sound too much like a whining female. "I guess I felt like nobody needed me." "I need you..." Buck's voice was deep and soft. The sound made Lou feel like she might melt from the inside out. "You do?" "Mmm hmm". Buck's mouth was only about an inch from hers but it seemed to Lou that it took a long time before his lips touched hers. They kissed passionately for a moment, and then Buck suddenly jumped up off the bed and grabbed a shirt from the floor. Lou sat up just in time to see the bunkhouse door open. "There you are." Monique smiled when she saw Buck, who was hurriedly buttoning his shirt. "Emma sent me over to see if she could start bringing over supper yet." "Tell her I'll come over to get everything in just a few minutes," Lou answered, as she moved to clean off the table where they ate every evening. "You alright Buck?" Monique asked as she eyed the Kiowa, who was still fighting with his shirt. "You seem flustered." "We'll be over in a minute," he answered. "I'm just helping Lou get everything ready." "Is that what you call it?" she asked with a tone of exaggerated innocence. Before either of them could answer, Monique was closing the door behind her. As soon as she was gone, Buck sat down on the bed and let out a long breath. "That was close." "That's what it's been like all day. Every time I turn around, she's there," Lou complained. The couple finished getting the room ready for dinner and Lou stopped Buck just as they were heading out the door. "Wait a minute...let me fix your shirt. It's buttoned all wrong." Buck stood still and let Lou unbutton his shirt, enjoying the feeling of her fingers brushing against his skin. Suddenly, he remembered his earlier talk with Monique's father, and decided he'd better tell Lou about his "past" with Monique. "Lou, before we head over to Emma's, I need to tell you something." "What?" She smiled up at him. "It's about Monique..." "What about her?" Lou's voice took on an edge, and her eye's went from sparkling to almost black. Buck spoke slowly, studying Lou's face with each word to be sure he didn't anger her. "I think I can explain why she was behaving the way she was earlier today." When Lou didn't respond, he quickly added, "It turns out Ike and I both know her from when we first left the mission." Lou's eyes started to smolder. "And you're just now remembering this because..." she fairly hissed. "I wouldn't have remembered at all," Buck explained, "if her father hadn't said something about it while we were searching for their things." Lou's face softened a bit. "How could you not remember her?" she asked. Buck smiled. "She didn't look anything like that the last time I saw her." He chuckled softly to himself as he remembered the little girl trying so hard to impress her father and be the son he'd never have. "She didn't act anything like that either," he added. "In fact, we called her 'Monkey' because she liked to climb everything she could." Lou sat down on the edge of Buck's bed. She took a deep breath. "Enlighten me," she said. Buck smiled at her. "It was just after we left the mission; Ike and I hired on as field hands at a nearby farm. It turned out the owner's wife had died unexpectedly a few months earlier. She had been giving birth to what would have been a son when she died. The man was devastated because not only had he lost his wife; he'd lost his son - the heir to his kingdom." Buck sat next to Lou. "His daughter was a few years younger than us, and she decided that she needed to replace the stillborn boy by learning all the things a boy would do. She followed the two of us everywhere we went as we worked. She questioned everything we did - could we teach her? We ended up becoming friends; especially her and Ike." He paused and moved his gaze to the ground before continuing, "I'd already learned the hard way that girls like her were not for me; I wasn't good enough to be thinking about any white girls. I was happy that Ike and her were friends, but I sort of wished they'd leave me out of things." Lou placed her hand on Buck's knee. "I'm sorry," she said. Buck once more glanced at her. All the anger was gone from her face. "It wasn't your fault," he said. "Anyway, after about a year, her father decided that he'd really rather have his daughter be a daughter and he sent her back east to some finishing school for young ladies. She started to write to Ike. We left a month or so after she did. I guess they kept in touch because that's why they're here - looking for him; not me." Lou looked at him for a few moments, thinking about the years of loneliness and rejection he had lived with. Despite all of that, he had a gentle soul and a loving heart - a heart that he had been willing to share with her. Buck continually amazed her. "I'm so sorry..." was all she could think of to say. "It's not your fault, Lou," Buck repeated. "It's just the way things are." "I wish they were different..." she reached up and touched his face gently. Buck shook his head, "If they were, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met you." He smiled and leaned forward until their foreheads touched. "You're really something, Buck Cross." "I'm really gonna be in trouble with Emma if we don't get over there to get supper...come on." Buck took Lou by the hand and led her outside, just in time to see Ike riding in. As the dust around Ike's mount settled, Buck smiled up at him. "I think you need to quickly go get cleaned up and get to dinner; there's a surprise waiting for you inside." With that he continued on the way to Emma's to help carry over the meal. Ike stared after them, and then did as Buck suggested. He didn't want to miss out on dinner and a surprise. When Buck noticed that Ike was at the shower, he turned to Monique and said, "Let's get you over to the bunkhouse quickly. That way he won't see you until he's inside with everyone else." Monique glanced at Buck and Lou. She blushed a bit when she realized that Buck knew why she was here. She smiled in embarrassment as Buck took her hand and quickly and quietly lead her across the yard. The others gathered the dinner supplies and started to follow them. Just before they entered the bunkhouse, Monique quickly kissed Buck on the cheek. "Thank you," she said, as he ushered her inside. As everyone entered the bunkhouse and began to sit around the table, Lou managed to assist Buck in making sure that Monique ended up between Buck and the empty seat that would be occupied by Ike. The smile on Monique's face when she realized what Lou had done grew even brighter than it had been. As Lou took her seat on the other side of the table, Monique leaned across and whispered, "Before we leave I have something I want to give you." "Why?" "I've caused such a scene in town, and then here. It's my way of saying thank-you for not..." she stopped speaking when the door opened and Ike entered. "Great!" said Sam, before anyone else had a chance to speak. He glanced at Buck and Monique before quickly continuing. "I'm sure all of you know already, but I wanted to take this chance to congratulate my new deputy on his upcoming marriage to such a beautiful young lady." Everyone looked from Sam to Lou and back. "Sam�" Emma began, as Jimmy choked on a piece of roast beef, and Ike almost spit out his milk. "New deputy?" Teaspoon placed his glass on the table with great care, pinning Buck to the spot with a stare. "I�" Buck started to answer, but Sam cut him off, still smiling. "Buck told me he'd met a young lady the other day when he came to talk to me about the job. Since he came by this morning to tell me he was taking it, I just assumed�" "Sam�that'll do." Emma smiled through gritted teeth, trying to get the Marshal to keep quiet. "What the hell's he talkin' about Buck?" Jimmy asked, "you leavin' the Express and you didn't tell us?" "Yeah, I thought you were courtin' Lou anyway�" Cody commented, obviously confused. Sam's smile had begun to fade, as he realized that he might have spoken too soon. At the mention of Lou, the color seemed to drain from his face. "L�Lou?" "Now Sam�" Emma reached out to help the Marshal sit back down. During the confusion that had followed Sam's announcement Monique had managed to grab Lou and drag her back over to Emma's. "I think now is a good time for me to give you my thank you gift," she said. Lou simply followed her trying not to fight back the tears. She knew that it wasn't Buck's fault, but she hated that Sam thought Monique was the lady he'd been speaking of. When they entered Emma's parlor and Monique pulled a lovely green dress from her belongings, it occurred to Lou that Monique knew the truth. "How..." was all she could say. "When we were introduced this morning," Monique explained, "you looked at me the way I would have looked at any one I saw hanging onto Ike the way I was Buck. I didn't mean to cause any trouble; I was just trying to get him to realize who I was. It's been a few years, and I've changed a whole lot." She smiled as she handed Lou the dress. "Now, put this on so we can get back over there and show the Marshal the beautiful lady that Buck is engaged to." "This is very thoughtful of you but�one of your dresses isn't going to fit me." Lou looked down at her feet, feeling even more embarrassed than she had before. "This one will fit. I promise." "How? You so much taller and�" Lou didn't quite know how to explain the obvious. Monique had more curves than she would probably ever have. "My father had this dress made for me. It's been almost two years since I've been home. I think he forgot to take into account that I might have changed while I was gone." Monique smiled at Lou, hoping to make her feel more comfortable. "Just try it on." Lou simply nodded and quickly changed clothes. To her surprise, the dress fit her very well, and the deep green color was very flattering. The dress could have been made for her. By the time the two of them returned to the bunkhouse, Buck had managed to explain what was really taking place. He'd also managed to do so without actually saying Lou's name because he wasn't sure she was ready for Sam to know just yet, and she wasn't here to let him know. He finished his explanation and sat back down, looking at Ike to see if he had seen where the girls went. He was just about to ask when Ike's eyes grew wide and a smile slowly spread across his face. He simply pointed to the door. As Monique stepped behind Lou so that everyone could see how beautiful Lou was in her new gown, she spied Ike and signed to him, *I missed you.* Ike's smile grew even broader as he realized who it was that Sam had thought Buck was engaged to. He started to move towards the door as Buck turned to Sam. "This is the lady I'm going to marry," he said, smiling at Lou the whole time. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jeremiah stood up and yelled, "Not if I can help it." With those words he grabbed Theresa by the hand and pulled her from the room. Chapter Twenty-nine Lou's smile faded as her brother ran from the room. "Jeremiah!" Her call fell on deaf ears. "I'll go get him," Buck told her. "Wait a minute, Buck," Kid had been silent during the last few minutes as he took in the fact that his friend was going to marry the girl that he had once planned to spend his life with. "Maybe that ain't such a good idea�I mean, he don't seem too happy about this�" "He's not," Lou admitted. Buck felt a rush of embarrassment and anger at Kid for speaking up. Lou wasn't his concern anymore. Still, Buck knew that Kid was right. He was the last person Jeremiah would want to see. Jimmy pushed back from the table with a sigh and threw his napkin next to his plate. "Come on Kid, let's go." "I should go talk to him," Lou said, turning to Buck. He nodded as she gave his arm a reassuring squeeze and turned to leave with Jimmy and Kid. "And don't even think about touchin' my biscuits, Cody," Jimmy cautioned as he walked out the door. Buck sat down at the table and put his head in his hands, at a loss as to how to handle this problem. He thought things were getting better with Jeremiah, but obviously, he had been wrong. "What in God's name is going on around here, Emma?" Sam demanded. "You're the one that opened this can of worms, Sam. I think you'd better just sit there and keep quiet from now on." "I'm sorry, Buck. I didn't mean any harm." "I'm sorry too," Monique said quietly, "I was trying to help by giving her the dress, and it just made things worse." Buck just shook his head silently. Ike sat down to comfort his best friend. "I think I need a drink," Sam stated flatly. "Well, I don't normally drink at the supper table, but I may have to make an exception in this case." "Quite a place you got here Mr. Hunter," Monique's father commented from his place at the other end of the table. "Mr. Jamison, you got no idea." "Jeremiah!" Jimmy called to boy, and got no answer. They found him in the barn, feeding oats to Lou's horse. Theresa sat nearby. She had been crying, but for the moment she was quiet. "What's the matter with you boy?" Jimmy asked. "What possessed you to run outta there like that?" Jeremiah said nothing. He didn't even move. "Hey," Jimmy persisted. "I'm talkin' to you." "Jimmy," Kid spoke in a quieter tone. "Give him a minute." At that moment, Lou ran in behind them. She could tell immediately that this was not going to be easy. "I'm sorry, Jeremiah," was all she said. At the sound of his sister's voice, Jeremiah turned around. "You didn't even tell us," he said accusingly. "I'm sorry...I...I meant to, but it was never the right time. We wanted to tell you together, but..." "Why did you even bring us here? Seems like you've been doin' fine by yourself." "Because I wanted you to get to know Buck...once we're married..." "When you get married, he'll want his own kids. He won't want us." "He will too Jeremiah!" Theresa began to cry again, and Kid went to comfort her. Lou took a deep breath, trying to keep her own emotions under control. "Jeremiah, please...try and understand...the whole reason I'm here is because of you and Theresa. I had to try and make a life for us. Buck is a good man...." Lou took a step closer to her brother, holding her hand out to him. "I want us to make a home together, and be a family..." "We were a family, 'til you left us!" Jeremiah spat. Jimmy saw the tears in Lou's eyes and spoke before he could stop himself. "That ain't no way to talk to your sister!" he said sternly, moving in the boy's direction. He was surprised when Jeremiah closed the gap between them. "What are you gonna do? Get that Indian to come out here and hit me again?!?" For a moment, Jimmy was speechless. He shot a glance at Lou, who looked just as shocked by her brother's question. Just then Theresa slipped out of Kid's arms and ran from the barn. Lou bit her lip to keep from crying openly in front of her brother. She found herself thinking that this should have been one of the happiest nights of her life. She should be celebrating her engagement. Instead, everything was a mess. "Go," Kid told her softly. "We'll talk to him." Jimmy nodded, and Lou turned on her heel, to go in search of her younger sister. Kid moved next to Jeremiah. "Jimmy's right," he said softly. "You shouldn't speak to Lou that way; she deserves better." Jeremiah just glared at him. "You going to hit me too?" he asked. "No one's going to hit you," said Jimmy. "What makes you think we would?" "Because he did," Jeremiah said, pointing towards the bunkhouse. "Who did?" asked Kid. "That half-breed," spat Jeremiah. "The other day when I had to clean the stalls; that all started after he hit me." Kid glanced at Jimmy. He didn't remember Jeremiah looking like he'd been struck. "You sure?" he asked. Jeremiah stared at them defiantly a few seconds before dropping his gaze. He nodded. "I spoke a bit rudely to Louise and he struck me." He looked up at Jimmy as he continued, "He's come close a couple of more times, but I've gotten away from him. I can't live with someone who's going to beat me." Kid knelt down next to the younger boy and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Buck ain't going to beat you," he said. "He couldn't have hit you that hard; there wasn't a mark on you when you came to the barn." Jeremiah turned to face him. "You don't believe me?" he asked. Kid shook his head. "That's not what I said," he replied. "I said he couldn't have hit you that hard, and that I don't believe he'll be abusive. I know what abusive people are like, and Buck's not like that. He must have felt strongly about needing to get you attention to lay a hand on you." Jimmy nodded when Jeremiah turned to look at him. "I can't speak for Buck," he said, "but I know that Lou - er, Louise - wouldn't let anyone hurt you like that. She's been planning on how to get the two of you out here with her ever since we all found out about you. She explained that she wanted to be able to give you a good home." "I bet she don't feel that way anymore," Jeremiah said, with a little less emotion. Kid smiled at Jimmy as he noticed the change. "Yes she does," he said. "She brought the two of you here so you could spend time getting to know Buck. I'm fairly certain that they just recently made the decision to think about getting married." When Jeremiah didn't respond, he continued, "You were upset because they didn't tell you first, right?" Jeremiah nodded sullenly. "When have you been alone with the two of them?" Jimmy asked, as he figured out where Kid was headed. "On the ride into town this morning," Jeremiah said, "but Theresa kept bugging him to talk Lakota with her. She's got some crazy idea about being able to learn enough to have a conversation with Johnny back at the orphanage." He shook his head. "I can't figure out what it is about that girl that draws her to hopeless causes." Jimmy and Kid fought back grins. "So, do you honestly think they've had a chance to tell you?" Kid asked. Jeremiah shook his head. "I guess not." He studied Kid a few seconds before asking, "You really think Buck won't beat on me?" He quickly added, "I don't think I could stand being treated like that; not after what I seen before." Jimmy sat down next to Jeremiah and Kid. "What do you mean?" he asked. Jeremiah took a deep breath. "I know Louise thinks I don't remember, that she fooled me into thinking that man that took us weren't our father." When no one said anything, he continued, "but I know he really was. I know that he used to hit her when she made him angry. He used to hit our momma too. I think he tried to beat me once, but Louise got in the way. I hated being afraid all the time." Kid nodded and Jimmy smiled his encouragement. Jeremiah continued, "The boy that Theresa wants to help, he got brought to the orphanage by the doctor in town. He took him away from the man who bought him off a traveling salesman. The man would beat the boy because he didn't understand what was being said." He looked at the ground as he spoke. "This boy's afraid of his own shadow now; I don't want to be like that and that's how I feel around Buck when he gets upset with me." "When has he gotten upset?" asked Kid. Jeremiah sat thinking, "The time I was rude to Louise, and a couple of other times when I..." he stopped and looked at Kid."I guess he only gets upset when I'm disrespectful around Louise." Kid nodded. "That's easy enough to change, isn't it?" Jeremiah sighed. "I guess so," he said. "So, do you really think he'll want us around? I mean, would you truly want to take on two youngsters right when you got married?" Jimmy laughed. "I wouldn't, but then I'm not Buck. He's definitely a different type of person." Kid nodded his agreement. "Why don't you go back to the bunkhouse and talk to him?" he suggested. "Ask him if you can speak to him man-to-man about the situation. I'm sure he'll be willing to talk to you, after all you're the man of the family as far as Lou is concerned." Jeremiah nodded. "I could do that. I mean, he was willing to teach me how to track, and he even offered to let me help him break that horse you were working with. I guess he can't be all bad if Louise and everyone else thinks he's alright." He stood. "Let's go so I can find my sisters and apologize for causing a big scene before I go have that talk." The threesome left the barn, and Jimmy quickly spotted Lou, sitting with Theresa on Emma's porch swing. "Why don't you go talk to Lou and Theresa?" he said, walking Jeremiah a few steps toward Emma's house. "I think we'll head back into dinner." Jeremiah nodded, and walked away from Jimmy and Kid. "You think we got through to him?" Kid asked. Jimmy shook his head, "Hard tellin'. I sure hope Buck ain't got in over his head." As Jimmy and Kid entered the bunkhouse, the conversation stopped and everyone turned to them expectantly. "Where are the children?" Emma asked. "Is Louise alright? "I think she will be," Jimmy said as he took his seat, elbowing Cody so he'd have a bit more room. *What happened?* Ike signed. He sat next to Buck, who watched Kid intently, but said nothing. "We just had a talk with Jeremiah. He's talkin' to Lou right now. I think they just need to get some things straightened out." "What did he say?" Buck finally spoke. He tried to hide the worry he was feeling, but it was obvious. Kid and Jimmy glanced at each other. "I think you'd better talk to him about that." Jimmy answered. Everyone sat awkwardly for a moment, until Monique spoke up. "Well, you boys have been missing a wonderful meal. I told Miss Emma I need her to teach me how to cook." "I'd have no objections to that," her father smiled. "That's one thing all your schooling didn't do for you my dear." Monique playfully scowled at her father, while everyone laughed at his joke. At that moment the door opened, and Lou walked in with her younger siblings in tow. Theresa wiped her nose with the back of her hand, and with her eyes to the ground, walked over to take her seat next to Buck. As she sat down, she gave Buck a tentative smile. Lou and Jeremiah stayed standing. "Well, come sit down before your dinner gets cold." Emma put and arm around Lou to lead her to her seat. "Jeremiah has something he'd like to say first." Lou looked at her brother, who stood awkwardly, his eyes downcast as well. Finally, he looked up at Emma. "I'm sorry, Miss Emma, for the way I behaved. I didn't mean to ruin everyone's dinner." He glanced around at everyone seated at the table. He looked at Buck for a long moment, but for his part, Buck was staring down at his plate, the food untouched. "Apology accepted, Jeremiah. I don't think the dinner is ruined. Now let's all sit down and enjoy it." Once everyone was seated, Sam spoke again, "I'm sure sorry if I caused any trouble. I just had no idea..." he looked at Lou, who now looked very feminine in the gown Monique had given her. Lou blushed, and smiled. "It's alright Marshal. It's kind of been our secret for awhile. I mean, the fact that I'm a girl. I couldn't exactly be a woman and work for the Express." "I just don't know how I missed it!" "Said the same thing myself Sam...the same thing! Had me so confused I had to go out for a sweat after I found out!" Teaspoon raised the small glass of whiskey he had poured after Lou's exit earlier in the evening. "Well then, I guess I don't feel so bad," Sam grinned. By the way, it's nice to meet you Miss McCloud." "Please call me Louise," Lou giggled. "I guess it wasn't so hard gettin' used to Lou bein' a girl..." Cody commented. "But I think it's gonna take some time gettin' used to the idea of her and Buck gettin' married." Buck, who was still playing with the food on his plate, shot a glance at Cody for his remark. "I guess it's kinda like havin' your brother and sister..." "Shut up Cody!" Jimmy gave the blond rider a disdainful look and slapped in the back of the head. "I'm tryin' to eat." "I was just makin' an observation," Cody defended himself. "I for one am very happy for both of them." Monique smiled. *Me too* Ike signed with a huge grin. Louise smiled her thanks, and looked over at Buck, who sat still and silent. She realized then that he had not said one word since her return to dinner, and even though they were sitting next to each other, he had not touched her. Chapter Thirty Somehow the group managed to make it through the meal with no more interruptions. Buck was pleased to notice that Monique and Ike were getting along fine. At least one thing turned out right this evening he thought as he continued to push the food around his plate. As the others ate, he quietly studied Jeremiah. He decided that the best thing to do would be to offer Lou the option of changing her mind. As the others began to finish eating, Buck managed to look at Lou and offer her a weak smile. "Do you think we could go outside and talk?" he asked quietly. Lou simply nodded. She took both their plates and moved them to the area where Emma would clean them, and then she spoke quietly to Jeremiah and Theresa. "Buck and I are going outside for a few minutes," she said. "Just stay here and try not to get in any trouble." They both nodded, but Jeremiah placed his hand on her arm as she turned to leave. "Could you tell Buck that I want to talk to him when you're finished?" he asked with a quick glance at Kid and Jimmy. "I have some business I need to discuss with him." Lou smiled at her younger brother who was suddenly trying to act all grown-up and protective. "I'll let him know that you wish to speak with him," she said. She then went to where Buck stood quietly waiting for her at the door. As the stepped outside, Lou reached for Buck's hand, but he managed to move it at just the same time. He walked quietly to the corral and leaned on the fence. As Lou joined him, he spoke without looking at her. "I'm sorry for the confusion," he said softly. Before she could say anything he continued. "I'll understand completely if you want to call the whole thing off; I'm not sure why I thought you'd ever agree in the first place. I mean, what right do I have to think that someone as wonderful as you would ever..." he had to stop speaking as Lou's mouth covered his. "I love you," she said. "I want nothing more in the world than to be able to spend my life with you." "But Jeremiah..." Buck said. "Wants to have a man-to-man talk with you about exactly what your intentions are," she said. She smiled at Buck as a look of confusion washed over his face. "He was just upset because he thought we'd been planning this for a long time and that we hadn't wanted to tell them. He was worried that you were going to want to get rid of him and Theresa." She sighed, "I'm afraid he has a lot of the McCloud temper in him, and he hasn't learned to recognize when it's getting the best of him. Once Jimmy and Kid talked to him he realized that he wasn't being fair." "You mean he isn't going to try and keep us apart?" Buck asked as what Lou was saying slowly began to sink in. "I mean exactly what I said," Lou replied. "He wants to talk to you about some things; he refused to tell me what because it's a 'man' thing." She smiled as Buck began to relax. "I'm not saying there won't be problems with him, but it's got nothing to do with you being Kiowa. It's got to do with him being strong-willed and having to fend for himself for too long." Buck smiled at Lou and pulled her to him in a crushing embrace. "I'm just glad that you don't want to call everything off," he said. "I don't think I could have stood it if you'd decided that I wasn't the right man for you." Lou turned her face up to his. "I love you with my whole heart, Buck Cross," she said. "No one will make that stop." She was pleased when Buck captured her mouth in a passionate kiss. When they broke apart, she pushed away slightly. "Now, let's get back inside so you and Jeremiah can have that talk and we can start planning our lives together." They came back into the bunkhouse just as Emma was getting ready to take the dishes away. Cody had rescued Buck's full plate from the clutter. As he moved to take his seat at the table again, Buck reached across the table and snatched it from his blonde cohort. "I'll take that, thank you." "Hey...I thought you didn't want it." "I got my appetite back." Buck smiled and winked at Lou, who stood behind him, her hands on his shoulders. "Well, if you'd all like to come over to the house, we can have some cake and coffee." Emma smiled. Teaspoon rubbed his belly and smiled. "I'm pretty full, but seein' as how we have an engagement to celebrate, I think I could make some room." "Just give me a few minutes to get this cleaned up and you can head over." Jeremiah took another pile of dishes and followed Emma to the door. "I'll help." he offered. Not wanting to be outdone, Theresa went after her brother. "Me too." "Whatever you said to him must've been pretty important," Sam commented to Jimmy and Kid. Jimmy shrugged, "Don't know. I think he just needed somebody to listen." "Thank you both," Lou told them. "You can consider it an engagement present." Kid stood up from the table and extended his hand to Buck. "Congratulations." Buck and Lou looked at each other, slightly shocked by Kid's gesture. "Thank you." Buck shook his hand, knowing now that no matter what, the two would be friends, just as they always had been. As soon as everyone made their way across the yard to Emma's, Mr. Jamison took his leave. Monique asked if she could stay awhile longer, and Ike promised to make sure that she got home safely. "I'm sorry I can't stay, but I have an early day tomorrow. Thank you for the lovely meal." "It was very nice to meet you, I hope you'll join us again soon." Emma told him. "Where you stayin' Mr. Jamison?" Teaspoon asked. "The hotel for now. But, we've purchased a piece of land about 5 miles from here. There's a house on it that I understand could use a little repair. It will due for now. Once we're settled I may decide to build a new house. I'm not sure." "You must mean the old Carson place. That's a good size house. You're welcome to call on the boys here if you need some help." "Well, this day has certainly turned out better than I expected. I don't want to take advantage of your hospitality, but I just may do that." Mr. Jamison paused for a moment, then spoke again. "I do have one more thing I need to do before I leave." He stepped back inside the front door, and called to Buck, who was sitting in the parlor talking to Ike and Jimmy while Lou and Monique served the cake. "Yes sir?" Buck stood expectantly in front of Monique's father. "I just want to thank you again for your help today. I'm glad we're going to have the chance to get reacquainted." Glancing into the parlor, where his daughter now sat smiling, next to Ike, Mr. Jamison smiled himself. "By the look of things, I expect I'll be seeing more of all of you." The older man held out his hand, and when Buck took it, his eyes widened in surprise. He opened his hand to reveal several bills. "I can't�" "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have any of our belongings. It's the least I can do." "But this is too much. I can't take this." Buck shook his head and reached to hand the money back to Monique's father. "Of course you can. You're getting married. You've got to plan for your future. Please accept it as an engagement present." Buck lowered his hand, but was still hesitant. This was the last thing he had expected. "When I started out Buck, I didn't have much. I learned fairly quickly that when someone makes an honest offer to help, you don't refuse it. You did a great service for me today, and I'd like to repay you." The older man smiled again. "I'm sure sometime in the future, you'll have a chance to help someone yourself." Buck smiled, still slightly embarrassed. "Thank you. I really appreciate it." The rest of the evening passed quickly, with everyone enjoying the time to relax. Ike and Monique headed back to town, and as Buck and Lou stood together in the yard, watching them go, Buck noticed Jeremiah standing on Emma's porch. The boy had been fairly quiet all evening, but not sullen, as he had been in the past. "Hey Jeremiah, want to help me check on the stock one more time?" Buck asked him. The boy nodded and came down the steps. Lou gave Buck's hand a squeeze and then told her brother that as soon as he was finished it would be time to turn in. As they entered the barn, Buck spoke again. "Louise said you wanted to speak to me about some things." Jeremiah hesitated. Now that the moment was upon him, all the bravado that he had felt earlier was gone. He studied Buck a few seconds before replying, "I was hoping we'd have a chance to work on that tracking in the morning, and perhaps," he paused just a bit before adding, "we could have a talk about exactly how things are going to work once you and Louise get married." Buck smiled as he watched the boy work. "I think that is a grand idea," he said. "We both need to get some rest after today." Jeremiah nodded his thanks. "Did I do that right?" he asked as he finished the last stall. "You did an excellent job," Buck said. "How about tomorrow after we get back from our tracking walk we spend a little time getting to know that horse everyone's so excited about?" Jeremiah's face lit up for a second before he managed to bring his excitement back under control. "I'll have to see how things go in the morning," he said as he turned to head back to the bunkhouse. Buck decided to let him go ahead by himself. He watched as the boy crossed the yard and entered the building before turning back toward Emma's. He let himself in and found Lou tucking Theresa into bed. "I just came by to say goodnight," he said from the door. Theresa looked up at him and smiled. "You aren't going to send us away, are you?" she asked quietly as her eyes once more filled with tears. Buck crossed to her side quickly. He pulled her to him in a hug. "I'd never send you away," he said quietly. "I like having a little sister to help me; besides, who would I talk Lakota with if I made you leave?" Theresa stopped crying and hugged him as hard as she could. "I told Jeremiah that you'd want us to stay; I told him you didn't want to get rid of us, and that you weren't going to be mean and hurt us." "Why would he think I'd hurt you?" Theresa shrugged. "I don't know," she said as she let Buck go. "He just kept saying that no one was going to hit him like that, and he wasn't going to live his life in fear." Buck looked at Lou. She motioned for him to leave and wait for her. She took Theresa from him and had her lay down. "We'll talk some more in the morning," she said. "Go to sleep now. Everything is going to be fine." Theresa nodded and snuggled into the bed. As Lou left the room, Theresa sat up and said, "Tell Buck goodnight for me, and tell him I love him." Lou smiled as she pulled the door shut. "Did you hear her?" Buck nodded. "I never meant to make him afraid of me," he said. "I didn't hit him that hard. I..." Lou reached over and placed her hand on Buck's lips. "It wasn't just you. Our father used to beat my mother and me; he tried to 'correct' Jeremiah once, but I got in his way. Theresa says that this boy she's trying to be friends with used to get beaten by his 'protector'. She said he's afraid of everything." Buck nodded. "I didn't know," was all he could think of to say. "I'll be sure and let him know that I won't let it happen again. We're going to have our 'talk' in the morning. He still wants me to show him how to track; I guess that's a good thing." Lou nodded. "That sure is," she said. "I think it would be a good idea for us to get some rest ourselves. It's been a long day." Buck stood and reached for Lou's hands. He pulled her up next to him and wrapped her in his arms. "I love you," he said, as he kissed the top of her head. "I'll do whatever I can to make it possible for us to be together." Lou simply nodded. As Buck walked across the room toward the door, she said, "I love you more." Buck turned and smiled at her as he left Emma's house and made his way across the yard. As he was entering the bunkhouse Ike caught up with him on his way back from the barn. *You alright?* he asked. Buck nodded. "I'll be better in the morning after I find out exactly what it is Jeremiah expects of me." Ike smiled as he opened the door. *I know things will work out,* he said. He paused just a bit before adding, *And thank you for my surprise.* Buck returned the smile. "Had you been writing to her all along?" *I did at first, but when we started here I didn't have time. I think I managed to write once to let her know that we'd finally found a place that looked like we'd be able to settle, but I can't remember.* He shrugged. *I guess it doesn't matter now because she'd managed to find us all on her own.* With that he made his way to his bed and started to undress. Buck did the same. He spent a long time thinking before he managed to drift off to sleep. Chapter Thirty-one The next morning dawned bright and clear with a slight chill in the air. Buck awoke before the others and quietly began to dress. When he was finished, he went to where Jeremiah was sleeping and gently shook the boy to wake him. Jeremiah opened his eyes and drew back as his eyes registered who it was that was shaking him. When Buck noticed the look of fear on the boy's face, he took a step back and whispered, "I was wondering if you wanted to get an early start this morning so we could work on that tracking." He kept his hands at his side as he spoke to be sure not to frighten the boy any more. Jeremiah moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He noticed the concerned look on Buck's face and realized that the older boy was worried that he might do something to upset Jeremiah. As he hopped off the bunk, he said, "Do we need to tend the stock first?" Buck simply nodded. "We could get that done a lot quicker if I didn't have to do it all myself," Jeremiah stated. Buck smiled. "We sure could," he said. "Would you like me to help?" Jeremiah nodded. As they walked out of the bunkhouse he said, "I'm sorry for the remarks I made earlier about your chores not being that big of a deal. You do a lot of work around here even when you aren't riding." Buck nodded again. "I accept your apology," he said solemnly. "It takes a big man to admit he made a mistake." Jeremiah turned to look at Buck to see if he was making fun; when he saw the look on the Kiowa's face he realized that it was a true complement. He smiled weakly. "I'm not that big of a man," he said. "I tried to hide behind my little sister and mess up things for you and Louise because I was afraid." Buck nodded once more. "But you realized what you were doing and stopped yourself before you could do any serious harm," he said. "That is also a sign of being a responsible man. I'm not sure I would have been as wise when I was your age." Jeremiah didn't say anything as he started to water the horses. Buck watched a few seconds before lending a hand. As they finished, Buck said, "You want to get something to eat before we go?" Jeremiah shrugged. "You think we could be back before breakfast?" Buck nodded. "Why don't we follow the trail you and Cody laid the other day. I'll just show you what I noticed, then after breakfast I'll mark a trail for you to follow. We could even include Theresa if you want." Jeremiah studied Buck a few seconds before asking, "How would we include her?" "I'll take her with me when I leave the trail, you're job will be to find her." "She won't agree," Jeremiah said. "She'd be afraid to stay by herself while I'm looking. She's just a little girl; she's afraid of almost everything." Buck smiled as he said, "I think she may surprise you. Besides, she wouldn't be alone; she'd be with me." "How am I supposed to find her if you aren't helping me?" Jeremiah asked. Buck replied, "You follow the trail." With that he walked over to where he'd started his trailing of Cody and Jeremiah a few days earlier. When they reached the place where the two of them had left the yard, Buck pointed out their tracks. He also showed Jeremiah how to tell which tracks were older. The two walked a few yards in silence except when Buck was pointing out something that he had used to track them. Finally Jeremiah said, "I wanted to talk to you about what is going to happen to Theresa and myself when you and Louise get married. You going to make us stay at the orphanage?" Buck shook his head. "You're both going to come live with us as soon as we have a place to stay." Jeremiah asked, "And how long is that going to take? Is it going to take a few years like it has for Louise to come back for us?" Buck stopped walking. "If it was up to me," he said as he sat on a fallen log, "I'd have you living here with us now. You could go back to the orphanage and gather all your belongings and move in just like we are now." Jeremiah sat next to him. "Really?" he asked. "You don't hate me?" Buck laughed softly. "Why should I hate you?" he asked. "All you've done is try to protect your family from what you saw as a threat. I'd be honored to call you brother." "But you," Jeremiah paused as he battled with his fear at making Buck angry. "You hit me," he finally said as he glanced at the ground awaiting another blow. Buck spoke softly. "I needed to get your attention," he said. "You were being very disrespectful to Lou, and I couldn't allow that to continue." He paused a few seconds to allow the younger boy to realize that he wasn't angry. When Jeremiah raised his eyes, Buck continued, "I didn't really hit you that hard, and I never would have done that if I'd known about how your father treated you. That's just the way my mother used to get me to stop arguing with my older brother. It won't happen again; I promise." Jeremiah stood. "In that case," he said, "I'm happy that Louise has found someone who cares for her as much as you seem to. I can tell that she really likes you, and Theresa is nuts about you; she keeps telling me what a great guy you are." Buck blushed a bit at the compliment. "I'm glad we got a chance to talk," he said. "I'm sure Louise will be happy to know that we have your blessings." He stood to join Jeremiah and the two of them once more started following the trail from a few days ago. When they reached the place where Buck had made the decision to go ahead to the swimming hole, he turned to Jeremiah. "Why don't you see if you can find the way back to the station by following our tracks?" Jeremiah nodded and turned to study the ground. He soon was leading the way, and had them back at the station quickly with only a few moments of assistance from Buck. "You're a natural," Buck said as they entered the yard just as Teaspoon was heading over to the bunkhouse for breakfast. Lou could tell the moment that they came in for breakfast that something was different. Both Buck and her brother seemed more relaxed then they had been in the past two days. She smiled as she helped Emma set the table; feeling relieved herself that perhaps they had reached an understanding. "When can I expect to be back on the schedule Teaspoon?" Buck asked as he finished his eggs. "Well, I guess anytime you're ready." The older man was surprised by the question. "Don't you want a little time off before you start work for Sam?" "I've had enough time off to last me for awhile." Buck smiled. I don't start my new job for three weeks, so if you need me..." Teaspoon glanced at Lou, who looked less than thrilled at Buck's enthusiasm to get back to work. "No need to rush...maybe you ought to give it some thought." "Why would I..." Buck saw the look on Lou's face just before she looked away. "What's the matter Lou?" Cody asked. "You worried something's gonna happen?" "No." "Well then what are you frownin' for? I thought girls who just got engaged were supposed to be happy." "That's enough, Cody," Emma scolded. Breakfast was finished quickly, with everyone setting about to start their day. Buck explained to Teaspoon that he planned to work with the horse that needed breaking, and he wanted to spend a little time with Jeremiah. Since he wasn't on the schedule of runs just yet, he was free to do as he pleased, as long as there were no chores to be done. "Why don't you go on outside and wait for me?" he told Jeremiah. "Ask Theresa if she'd like to come with us for our walk. When we get back we can see to that horse." "Is Louise upset?" Jeremiah asked, genuinely concerned about his elder sister. "I'll go talk to her." Buck smiled. He found Lou in the bunkhouse, gathering the washing for the day. Since everyone else was either on a run or outside working, they were alone. "Hey..." Buck smiled tentatively at her. Lou smiled back, but looked away quickly, continuing with her work. "I'm going to do some tracking with Jeremiah this morning, and I think Theresa may go with us. We'll be back by lunch." "Your talk this morning must've gone well." Buck nodded. "I didn't think I'd ever be so nervous talking to an eleven-year-old." he laughed. "So do you think he'll accept our marriage?" "Yes. I don't think we have to worry about that. He just wants to feel safe...and feel like he belongs." Lou looked at Buck from across the room and gave him an understanding smile. "That's what we all want isn't it? Thank you for talking to him." Buck took three steps and reached Lou's side. "What's wrong?" He reached to take the basket of clothes from her arms. Lou shrugged. "It's alright. I think I'm just being emotional." Lou reached for the basket, but Buck shook his head. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me," he said softly. With a sigh, Lou sat on the bed. Buck did the same, taking her hand in his. "Is there some reason you don't want me to go back to making runs?" "You're going to start working for Sam in a couple of weeks. Do you really have to go back on the schedule?" Buck was quiet for a moment. It had been obvious that this was the reason Lou was upset at the breakfast table, but he couldn't think why she was opposed to him going back to work. "I've just gotten used to seeing you every day...and if anything happened..." "My job with Sam is going to be dangerous too." Buck reminded her. "I know....I guess I've just gotten spoiled. I know I shouldn't worry but..." "I like to think of you worrying about me." Buck winked at her as he pulled Lou close for a hug. "I wasn't exactly the easiest person to live with when you were coming back from St. Jo." Lou laughed as she wrapped her arms around Buck. "Once we're married. I'll be home almost every night. You'll be wishing I had a run just to get me out of your hair." "No I won't." Lou looked up at him seriously. "I keep thinking how wonderful it will be to go to bed with you every night. In our house, in our bed. I can't wait." Buck hugged Lou even tighter. She had accepted his proposal, but the idea that they were actually going to be husband and wife, and share a home of their own, still seemed like a dream. It was a relief to know that Jeremiah was coming around, but Buck knew they still had a long way to go. "Speaking of St. Jo," Lou's voice broke into Buck's thoughts, "We'll have to head back in a couple of days. I don't like thinking about that either." "I'm coming with you this time." Buck put a finger to Lou's lips when she started to protest. "Please don't argue. It will give me more time with Jeremiah and Theresa, and I'm sure no one here will mind that I'm with you instead of waiting for you to get back." "Were you really that bad when I was gone?" Lou smiled. "I was awful. Believe me, it's better this way." Buck smiled back at her. "Just think of the fun we can have on the way back." Lou pushed him away, feigning shock, "What kind of woman do you think I am Buck Cross? I would never make a trip with a man unchaperoned! It wouldn't be proper!" Buck arched an eyebrow and took a step closer to her, speaking just above a whisper. "What if I assured you that my intentions were honorable?" "Well, that would be disappointing, but as long as you don't mind my cooking...I suppose you can come along." Lou picked up the basket of laundry and opened the door to step outside, with Buck following close behind. "I can cook..." he told her. Lou laughed as she continued over to Emma's house. As she passed Jeremiah and Theresa she paused. "I'm glad to hear that you have no objections," she said to Jeremiah. He smiled at her. "I'm sorry for all the trouble," he replied. "I was just scared of how things were going to be." She nodded. "I know," she said as she started walking once more. After taking only a few steps she stopped and turned back to her brother. "You behave out there today, and do what he tells you without arguing. I don't want you to get hurt because you decide that you know better." "I promise," Jeremiah said. "Me too," said Theresa. Buck joined Jeremiah and Theresa. "Did you explain what we were doing?" he asked Jeremiah. Jeremiah nodded. "Good. Then you can go help Louise get the wash started while Theresa and I head on our way. Once you get the water ready for her you can come after us. I'll give you until lunch time before we head back; I still want to get to spend some time working that new horse." Jeremiah simply nodded and headed off after Louise. "I thought you were going with Buck and Theresa," Lou said as he fell into step beside her. "I'm going to track them," he replied. "I'm supposed to help you get the water started and then go looking. I have until lunch time." "You sure you know what you're doing?" Lou asked him. "Yep. Buck said I did a good job this morning. It was easier than I thought once he showed me what to look for." As they walked, Buck and Theresa practiced their Lakota. Buck could tell that something was troubling the young girl so after a few minutes he motioned for her to have a seat on a large rock. "We'll wait here for Jeremiah," he said, as he sat next to her. "You want to tell me what's bothering you?" Theresa shook her head. "I'm not worried about anything," she said with a sigh. "Yes you are," said Buck. "Are you worried that I'm going to get angry and hurt you or Jeremiah?" She nodded slowly. "He said you hit him, and that you'd beat us both once you and Louise got married. I told him to stop telling lies, but..." "I did hit him," said Buck. "I didn't hit him hard, but I did hit him. I hadn't realized what type of life you lead before the orphanage. I have promised him to never hit him again. Is that all that was bothering you?" Theresa shook her head. "Jeremiah also said that you ain't gonna want us after you and Louise has your own children. I told him that was stupid; why would you take us to begin with and then get rid of us?" Buck smiled at the young girl. "You sure are smart," he said. "Did he have an answer?" She shook her head, "He just told me to wait and see if it didn't happen. He figured that you was only pretending to like me so Louise wouldn't get mad at you and leave. Sometimes boys can be so dumb." Buck laughed. "Sometimes we can," he said. "I'll make a promise to you. I'll never send you away. If Louise and I are lucky enough to have children of our own, I want their aunt and uncle to be very involved in their lives. I think it is important for children to have as much love as possible so they know someone cares; it's not fun thinking you're all alone." Theresa nodded. "I wish there was a way to find Johnny a family," she said. "He's always so scared at the orphanage. That's why I want to learn Lakota so I can let him know he has at least one friend." "In that case, let's practice some more," said Buck. "I figure we have a few minutes before Jeremiah finds us." "You really think he'll find us before we have to go back?" Theresa asked as bit surprised at Buck's confidence in her older brother's abilities. "I'm positive he'll find us," said Buck. "Now, tell me what you remember from your last lesson." About 30 minutes had passed when Buck heard Jeremiah approaching them. He smiled to himself, proud of the boy for doing so well. He had arrived at the spot a little earlier than Buck had expected. When he came down the path and saw Buck and his sister sitting on the log, he grinned from ear to ear. "I did it!" he exclaimed. "Well, don't act so surprised," Buck told him, "I told you that you were good at this." Theresa was quiet. Obviously she was taken aback by Jeremiah's success. Jeremiah blushed, a bit uncomfortable with the praise. "Don't make it easy for me next time." He told Buck. "I didn't this time, but I'll remember you said that." Putting an arm around the boy, he felt Jeremiah tense slightly, then relax. "Think you've got enough energy left to help out with that horse?" Jeremiah nodded, and Buck spoke to Theresa in Lakota, telling her it was time to head back to Emma's. As they headed home, Jeremiah asked, "Do you think I could learn Lakota too?" "Yes," Buck answered, "But if anybody else asks me to teach them, I'm going to open a classroom!" By the time the lunch bell sounded, Buck had the horse calmed down enough to come to the fence, so that Theresa could pet him. Jeremiah had listened to Buck and followed his directions about what to do, but he was disappointed that Buck hadn't tried to ride the animal yet. "We have to go slowly. If we push too hard he'll never be tamed." Buck explained. He thought to himself that he should take the same approach when dealing with eleven year-old boys. Kid came into lunch a few minutes late, with a note for Ike. "I saw Monique in town just now. She asked me to give this to you." He handed Ike a neatly folded note. Ike looked surprised for a moment, then quickly opened it, ignoring Cody, who was elbowing him in the ribs. Saying nothing, he folded it up and stuck it in his pocket, continuing to eat his lunch. Everyone glanced at each other, dying to know what the message was. "Well," Jimmy finally asked, "what'd it say?" *Nothing* Ike answered seriously. "Nothing?" Jimmy didn't even try to hide his frustration. "You get a note from a pretty girl and you're gonna keep it to yourself? You're as bad as Buck...never talkin' about nothin'" Buck smiled, and winked at his best friend. "Maybe someday somebody will send you a love note, Hickok." "Very funny," Jimmy scowled. As they finished eating, Jeremiah asked Buck, "Are you going to work that horse some more?" Buck nodded. "But first I need to do some work on the stalls. They need a bit of cleaning so the other horses don't get sick." He grabbed his hat and headed towards the barn. Jeremiah watched him go and then ran after him. "Would it go faster if I helped?" Buck smiled. "Sure would. You remember what needs to be done?" Jeremiah nodded. He picked up a shovel and headed to the nearest empty stall. Buck watched him for just a second before he said, "Why don't you move the horses out to the corral; I'll do the shoveling." Jeremiah looked surprised at the offer. "You mean you don't want me to do this part?" he asked in a shocked voice. "Well, if you really want to..." teased Buck. "No, I'll move the horses," Jeremiah said, putting aside the shovel. As he moved to the stall where Buck's horse was kept he paused. "How do I move them?" Buck took a lead rope and placed it around Warrior's neck. "Like this," he said as he lead the horse out of the stall and over to the corral. Then he handed Jeremiah the rope. "Remember to be gentle and move slowly," he said. "Just like we did this morning." Chapter Thirty-two Jeremiah nodded and turned to the task at hand. As he lead the next horse outside, Ike entered the barn. *Want some help?* Buck smiled. "Sure." Ike picked up a shovel and started to assist Buck. When he was sure no one else was going to enter the barn, he stopped and took the note from his pocket. He handed it to Buck. *Read it.* Buck carefully took the note. "You sure?" he asked. Ike nodded so Buck opened the note and read. He had to read it a second time to be sure he understood what it said. "You think she means it?" Ike smiled and nodded. *I sort of thought she was interested last night, but with all the confusion and stuff I didn't get a chance to really talk to her. So, you want to come with us?* "What?!" *You and Lou,* Ike grinned. *Do you and Lou want to go on the picnic with us?* "How are you going to talk if we come with you?" Buck asked. Ike shrugged, *I don't know. I just thought it would be fun.* "It would," Buck agreed. "I can ask Lou, but...don't you want to spend some time with Monique by yourself?" Ike leaned against the stall, and thought for a moment, "Yes...and no." Buck laughed and shook his head, "I'm lost...." Sighing in frustration, Ike struggled to find a way to explain how he was feeling. *How long were you in love with Lou before you went on that run with her?* "What does that have to do with..." *Just answer the question* Ike told him. "A long time." *So how did you feel about having the chance to be alone with her?* "Scared to death." Buck admitted. Ike gave his friend a look that spoke volumes. "Are you in love with her?" Buck asked him. Just then Jeremiah came back into the barn. Ike turned away and began working again. Jeremiah could tell he had walked in on something, but chose to ignore it. It seemed grown-ups were constantly having conversations that he wasn't supposed to hear. He figured life must get pretty interesting once you're older. "You're doing a nice job Jeremiah." Buck told him. When the boy was gone, he turned back to Ike. "Ike, are you in love with Monique?" Buck asked again. *I have feelings for her...at least, I did when we left St. Louis...I never thought I'd see her again...* "You never said anything." Buck told him, a little surprised that his friend had kept this to himself. *I never thought of her as more than a sweet kid until...you remember that party that her father had right before we left?* Buck nodded. It was the first time either of them had realized that "Monkey" was actually a young lady. *Well...that night, we kissed. Sort of. Her father walked in on us...nothing really happened. She was only 15* "You were 16" Buck pointed out. *Still, I felt bad about it. She was only interested in me because there was no one else for her to spend time with.* "I think she's done some growing up since then, and she's been back East to school. You're the reason she's here Ike. She wanted to find you." *Really?* Ike's mixed emotions were written all over his face. Buck took a step forward and put a hand on his friend's arm, hoping to calm him a bit. "Yes, really." *So what do I do?* Ike asked in desperation. "You don't have to figure it all out right now...go on the picnic. Lou and I will come along if you want but, you need to relax." *You're telling me to relax? Was it a week ago that Teaspoon was gonna tie you to a chair? I can't remember...* "Fair enough." Buck smiled. "She invited him on a picnic?" Lou asked. Buck nodded, "He wants us to come along too. I told him I'd have to ask you..." "Well, I don't mind, but I'm not sure Monique would want the extra company. Shouldn't they do this by themselves?" "That's what I said at first, but I think Ike is nervous." Lou looked out at the stream that ran behind Emma's house, and listened to the rushing water. She and Buck were sitting on the bank, watching Jeremiah and Theresa play a few yards away. Sitting between Buck's legs with her back against his chest, Lou was very relaxed. "She really likes him," Lou commented. "You should've read the note he got from her." "What did it say?" Buck whispered in her ear, and Lou raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised. "Well, maybe we should go. We don't have to stay the whole time." "That's true. We could always leave early to take a walk or something." "Or something?" Lou turned and smiled at him, and Buck stole a quick kiss. "Hey Buck!" Jeremiah called to him. "Come here!" At the boy's call, Buck got up and walked down toward the stream. Lou smiled as she watched the two of them together, very grateful indeed that things had improved between Buck and her brother. Theresa stood with them too, and Buck showed them how to skip rocks across the water. Both children tried their hand at it, laughing happily as they took turns throwing stones. Then, even from a distance, Lou could see Buck's body language change. In the next moment all three of them were coming up the bank. He held out a hand to help Lou up from the ground. "You alright?" she asked. Buck nodded, and put an arm around her as they walked, keeping her close. "It's just time to go home," he explained. Lou shrugged and let the moment pass. Buck was quiet the rest of the way, as images of the dream that he'd recently had filled his mind. When they entered the way station yard, Jeremiah asked, "Are we going to do some more with that horse?" Buck nodded. "We could work with it a bit more before dinner." Lou smiled as she felt Buck relax before he let go of her. She didn't know what was troubling him, but she was glad that it seemed to pass. As she watched him walk away, she turned to Theresa. "Want to take a ride into town with me?" she asked. "We can ride double on Lightening." Theresa smiled widely and nodded. Lou said, "I need to go change and then we can go. Would you go tell Miss Shannon that we're going to run into town on some personal business?" Theresa nodded and ran off to find Emma while Lou headed over to the bunkhouse to change out of the dress she was wearing. It wouldn't do for her to show up in town dressed as Louise. As the boys continued to work at getting the horse used to having people around him, Lou and Theresa headed off to have a visit with Monique Jamison. When they pulled up to the hotel, Lou again reminded Theresa not to refer to her as "Louise" unless they were alone with Monique. Theresa rolled her eyes, obviously tired of the charade. Lou was getting tired of it too. She found herself looking forward to the day that she could walk down the street in a dress, with her husband by her side. Once inside, Lou found out the Jamison's room number, and led Theresa upstairs. Monique was very happy to see the two of them, and immediately invited them into the room "I'm so glad you're here. I've been dying for some company! Daddy is so busy with his paperwork; he's got no time to bother with me right now. Would you like some tea?" "Sure." Lou smiled, a bit nervous. She was much more comfortable around Monique after the previous evening, but seeing her in another beautiful gown, Lou suddenly felt dusty and plain. Monique talked to Theresa as she poured the tea, and Lou looked around the room. There were two large trunks on the floor and a valise on the bed. Things were obviously in disarray. "You sure have a lot of clothes." Lou commented. "And nowhere to put them. Our furniture is supposed to start arriving tomorrow. I can't wait to get out of this hotel." Monique handed Lou a cup of tea, and suddenly smiled, a look of excitement on her face. "I was thinking...Daddy wanted to go out to the farm we purchased and take a look around today. Would you girls like to come with me instead? He'd probably love the chance to stay here and get his work done." "Well..." "Can we go Louise? Please?" "I suppose it would be alright." Monique smiled again, "Just give me a minute to change and we can be on the way. My father is in the room next door. I'll just tell him where we're going." Lou and Theresa had only been down stairs a few minutes when Monique joined them. She was dressed for riding, in dark brown pants, boots and a hat. Strangely, Lou had never even thought about this girl being able to ride a horse. As they made their way out to the farm, Lou found out that Monique could ride very well. The blonde girl caught Lou watching her at one point and smiled. "Are you surprised?" "A little I guess," Lou admitted, embarrassed that her surprise was so obvious. "Didn't Buck tell you what a tomboy I used to be? I wouldn't be caught dead in a dress! I envy you, getting to work with those boys and having such an exciting job." "It ain't all it's cracked up to be, believe me." Lou told her with a laugh. They arrived at the Carson farm, and Theresa ran ahead of the two older girls. Lou cautioned her to wait for them before entering the house. Lou looked at the large, square farm house with the wrap around porch. It needed some paint, but with a little work, it would be a very nice home. "Big isn't it?" Lou nodded, as she followed Monique into the large front room. There was a parlor off to the right and a nice size kitchen in the back of the house, with a separate pantry. "There are four rooms upstairs I think....maybe five. I told Daddy it's much too big for just the two of us." As she walked behind Monique, exploring the empty house, Lou suddenly realized something. Buck was going to start his new job in three weeks. This time next month he wouldn't be working for the Express anymore. Where was he going to stay? "You alright Louise?" "Huh? Oh, I was just thinking. So are you going to move in soon?" "I hope we can. I'm tired of being in that hotel." They walked up the stairs, Theresa ahead of them, and looked through more rooms. There were three large rooms and two smaller ones. It occurred to Lou that one of the small rooms would be the perfect size for a nursery. "So where will you and Buck live after you're married?" Monique asked. "I don't know." Lou smiled, but it was obvious the question troubled her. "He's supposed to start working for the Marshal soon, and I just realized, once he does, he probably won't be able to stay at Emma's anymore." "Surely she wouldn't turn him out." Lou shook her head. "I was so happy that he'd found a job, and then that things with Jeremiah were getting better, I didn't even think about a place for us to live." They walked downstairs and back outside, and now it was Monique's turn to stare at Lou. "You know you're really lucky don't you?" "I am?" "Buck is very good man. You're lucky to have him." Lou smiled, more to herself than Monique. "He's a wonderful man. I love him more every day." "I'd give anything to have someone look at me the way Buck looks at you." "Anyone in particular?" Monique blushed at the question. "I hear you asked Ike on a picnic tomorrow." The blonde girl nodded. "Did he say anything to you?" "Buck told me about it. Ike invited us to go too...if that's alright." Monique thought for a moment then spoke again, "After I sent my note, I wondered if maybe it was too forward. My father always says I'm too impetuous." Both girls sat down on the front steps of the house to talk. Theresa was busy picking wild flowers and trying to talk to herself in Lakota. "Did Buck teach her that?" Lou nodded. "I think she's going to be fluent in Lakota before I even know one word of Kiowa." After a few moments of silence, Lou spoke again. "So did you really come to town just to find Ike?" "Yes. When he and Buck left the ranch, I missed them both, but I thought about Ike every day. I looked forward to getting letters from him. Anytime he and Buck were settled anywhere for a time, he'd send me one. I guess I built things up in my head to think that he might care for me. I went off to school, and all those boys seemed so...shallow I suppose." "Did you have any beaus at school?" Monique shrugged, "Not really. A few of the boys liked me but, it wasn't the same. I couldn't be myself with them." "You haven't seen Ike in a long time. And I guess you're a lot different than you were last time you saw him...at least Buck says you're different. Do you feel the same now?" "The only difference is now I can speak French, I can play the piano, and I wear dresses." Lou giggled at the statement. "I'd be very flattered if someone came all this way for me." Lou said. "Now that I'm talking about it, it does seem a little extreme. I don't want to put him off. I guess I just never stopped missing him." "Just take your time." Lou cautioned her. "There's no rush." "What about you and Buck? Did you have a long courtship?" Lou cleared her throat, buying time, so she could think of how to answer. "Not...exactly," she finally said. Monique simply nodded so Lou continued. "We've known each other for almost a year now, but at first they all thought I was a boy. Then Kid discovered my secret, but didn't tell anyone until a few weeks later when I needed their help to stop something awful from happening to Theresa and Jeremiah." She paused unsure of how to continue. Monique sensed her unease. "You weren't interested in Buck at first, were you?" she prompted. Lou shook her head and sighed. "I was involved with Kid for a bit. Looking back I think it was mostly because he knew and I could be 'a girl' around him without worrying." She once more paused as she thought back over the past few weeks and the changes it had brought to her life. She smiled as she continued. "Anyway, once all the other boys found out, Emma had a sort of tea party to show me off. I think Buck started to have feelings for me then, but he didn't say anything because of Kid. Then Kid and I started to have arguments and Buck's dreams started..." Monique cut in, "He was dreaming about you?" Lou blushed as she nodded. "We all thought it was someone else, but I was elected to try and get him talking." Monique laughed. "That must have been fun. As I remember, Buck was the quiet one of the two despite the fact that Ike doesn't speak using a voice." Lou laughed too. "Still is," she said. "We went on a run together so I'd have a chance to question him and he couldn't run away. Things just sort of happened once I found out how he felt and I soon realized I felt the same way about him." She smiled at Monique. Monique smiled back. "I guess we should be getting back to town," she said as she stood. "Could I trouble you for one more thing?" Lou nodded. "Help me figure out exactly what it is we need to do to fix this place up proper," she said. "I was never good at picturing things in my mind." Lou stood and walked down the steps. She studied the house in front of her and then began. "There are a few of the windows that need to be repaired," she pointed out. "And it needs some paint." As she thought she pictured the house the way she would fix it if it was hers. "I'd put a small garden over by where Theresa is, and add a swing to the porch," she said. "Also, I'd put some flower boxes on the front windows and..." she stopped speaking when she realized what she was doing. "Sorry." "For what? That all sounds perfectly beautiful." "But it's not my house," Lou said. "I hope Buck and I can find something as nice. It's so close to the way station, but not far out of town." She sighed. "Too bad it's already taken." She moved to gather Theresa and the horses for the ride back to town. As they turned toward town Lou stopped her. "Would you like to come back to the station with us for dinner?" Monique's face brightened at the idea, but then she shook her head. "I don't think so. My father is expecting me, and I don't want to impose." "Don't be silly. As long as we get there the same time as Cody does, there will be plenty to eat. And I'm sure Ike wouldn't mind seeing you." Lou smiled at her new friend. "I don't want to wear out my welcome, but..." Just then her eyes went wide with surprise. Lou turned in the direction Monique was looking and saw Ike riding toward them. As Ike pulled up beside them, Lou said, "I guess I need to be getting back to the station. You sure you don't want to come?" Monique once more started to beg off, but Ike said, *Please come eat with us. It will give us a chance to plan our picnic all together. I hope you don't mind, but I invited Buck and Lou to join us.* Monique smiled at Ike. "Did you just invite me to eat with you?" she asked. Ike nodded. *Sorry, I forgot that you haven't been reading sign for a few years.* Lou said, "He also told you that he invited us along on the picnic and hopes you aren't upset." Monique's smile broadened. "Louise here was just explaining that to me and asking if I would care. I think it's a wonderful idea." She paused a second before adding, "I'd love to come eat with you, but Daddy is expecting me so..." *Why don't you go with Lou and I'll go tell him where you are and invite him also? I need to talk to him anyway.* Monique nodded. "I'll do that," she said. "That way I can try and be of some assistance to Miss Shannon instead of just a guest." She pulled up next to Ike and quickly leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Don't take too long," she said as she kicked her horse in the direction of the way station. Chapter Thirty-three Buck was having a hard time keeping his mind on his work. He and Jeremiah had been working with the new horse for about an hour and making progress, both with the horse, and each other. Still, ever since mentioning to Lou that he was looking forward to the return trip from St. Jo, he couldn't stop thinking about being alone with her. He wondered if they might have some time to themselves before dinner, but since the mealtime was so close, and Lou and Theresa weren't back from town yet, that didn't seem likely. "Buck? Hey Buck?" When Jeremiah's voice intruded on his thoughts, Buck came back to reality. "Are we gonna try to get him into the barn?" "No, not yet. Let's leave him out here for one more night." Buck opened to gate to the corral so that he and Jeremiah could step outside. "You've worked pretty hard today. Why don't you go wash up for dinner? I'll be along in a minute." As the boy ran off to clean up, Buck leaned against the fence and sighed. He'd never had a problem keeping his mind off of these kind of distractions in the past. Whenever the other boys would talk about women, or whatever "experiences" they might have had, Buck usually made himself scarce. Better to keep himself busy then to waste time thinking about something he couldn't have. Now, as he had told Lou the last time they were together, she was all he thought about. His woman. Her body, the feeling of her mouth on his skin, the sound of her sigh when he touched her... Buck took a deep breath in an effort to calm his mind and his body. It was a warm day, so he wasn't wearing a shirt, but he felt like he was burning up. Running a hand through his hair, he walked over to the rain barrel and splashed his face with cold water. Just then, He heard the sound of horses and saw Lou and Monique riding toward the station. He watched as they dismounted and Jeremiah went to take their horses. He smiled to himself as the boy started to tend the horses. He was turning out to be a very responsible young man. Buck waited until the girls had entered the house before he made his way over to assist Jeremiah. "Looks like we're having company for dinner," he said as he took over the job of currying the horse Monique had been riding. "I think she's sweet on your friend, Ike," Jeremiah observed. "I think Louise is trying to fix them up. She was talking the other day about them being a 'nice couple'." He shrugged his shoulders as if to show that he just didn't understand girls and their need to meddle in other people's lives. Buck smiled. "I don't think she's going to have to work too hard," he said with a wink. "I know for a fact that Ike's a bit sweet on her too." Jeremiah rolled his eyes. "I just don't understand all this hugging and kissing and making funny faces. Girls are just plan yucky." Buck laughed. "You'll change your mind about that soon enough." He studied the boy a few minutes before adding. "I give you a year or two before you'll understand it just fine." Jeremiah shook his head as he led Lightening back to his pen. "I hope not!" The two of them quickly cleaned up and headed back to the bunkhouse to eat. By this time Ike had made it back from town and he'd brought Mr. Jamison with him. Mr. Jamison was having a quiet conversation with Monique while everyone else got ready to eat. Buck managed to corner Lou as she prepared to set the table. "I need to talk to you," he whispered as he quickly kissed her cheek. "Later." He nodded and went to his seat at the table. As soon as Lou settled in next to him, he indicated the Jamisons. "What's going on over there?" he asked. "Ike sure looks nervous." Lou shrugged. "No one knows. Mr. Jamison just came in with Ike and told Monique that he needed to speak with her in private right away. They've been over there ever since." When it became evident that the Jamisons weren't going to stop their conversation anytime soon, Emma instructed the boys to bow their heads so Teaspoon could say grace and they could eat. She began to place food on their plates. As she sat down, Buck once more told Lou, "I need to talk to you...alone." "What's wrong?" "Nothing. I just need to talk to you; I can't..." he looked away as he felt the need to kiss her begin to overwhelm him. Without saying anymore, he left the room and headed over to the corral where the new horse was penned. "What's wrong with him?" asked Cody as he watched him leave. "Not sure," said Lou as she stood and followed after Buck. Lou walked outside and saw Buck standing at the corral, with his back to her. As she approached him, she wondered what in the world would make him leave so abruptly. She hoped he was being honest when he told her that nothing was wrong. "Buck? What is it?" When she reached out to touch his arm, Buck pulled her into an embrace and covered her mouth with his. His kiss was full of need and desire. Lou was so surprised that she tried to pull away, but Buck was holding her so tightly, she could hardly move. After a moment, he loosened his hold slightly, and Lou broke the kiss. She looked into his eyes, and was held by the intensity of his gaze "What's gotten into you?" she asked. "You." Then, cupping her face gently in his hands, he kissed her again. His lips were soft, and incredibly warm. Without thinking, Lou wrapped her arms around his neck, and returned his kiss. When he felt her body press against him, Buck moaned softly. His kiss became hungry again as he pulled her closer. Lou's head was spinning. When she walked out the door after him, this was the last thing she had expected. She had only been gone a couple of hours, but Buck was acting like he hadn't seen her in days. Still, she couldn't deny the way she felt. It was wonderful being in his arms. When his lips left hers, moving across her jaw and down the column of her neck, Lou tried to catch her breath. "Buck..." she felt the tip his tongue trace the outline of her ear and she shivered. His arms wrapped even tighter around her. "Buck, if Cody walks out that door we'll never hear the end of it." "Do you know how good this feels? Just to touch you?" Buck let his hands roam over her back and down to the curve of her hips. His lips felt hot on her skin. Lou closed her eyes and her body swayed against him. She thought absently that she would have fallen it wasn't for Buck's arms around her. Still, she somehow managed to get a bit of space between them, so that she could breathe. She looked into his eyes again, and saw how much he wanted her. "There's a room full of people in there waiting for us to come back inside. We've got company." Lou smiled at him weakly, and took another breath, trying to maintain some composure. "Let's wait until tonight when the kids are in bed. Then we can really be together." Buck knew he was being selfish, but he didn't want to wait. It seemed he'd been waiting his whole life - waiting for someone to want him, someone to love him. At this moment, all he wanted was to feel all the things that he had been without for so long. Buck shook his head, "No... I need you." His deep soft voice always had a way of making her weak in the knees. Lou sighed as Buck lowered his head for another kiss, drawing her lower lip into his mouth. He bit gently with his teeth, then soothed it with his tongue, and deepened the kiss. Lou could feel the tension in his body, and she felt a need awakening within herself. She realized that, except for their first time together, Buck had never actually been the one to initiate their lovemaking. Of course, she didn't have to do much to entice him, and once they started, he was more than willing to take the lead. But he had never been this aggressive before. It excited her. With an effort, she ended their kiss again. If they weren't going to go back inside, they certainly couldn't stay out here in the middle of the yard where anyone could see them. "We should stop..." Lou said breathlessly. Buck still held her tightly around the waist with his right arm, but his other hand moved up from her ribcage to just below her breast. He let his thumb move over the fabric of her shirt and press lightly against her nipple. Catching her breath at the sensation of this touch, Lou looked into Buck's eyes, and she was lost. She thought he would kiss her again, but he didn't. He just looked at her, his eyes dark as night. Lou glanced over his shoulder at the bunkhouse, knowing the proper thing to do was to go back in and finish dinner. She had invited Monique after all. But she didn't want to stop either. Not now. This man was so beautiful, and she loved him. How could she turn away? "Let's go to the barn." she whispered. They were barely inside the doors when he reached for her again, but Lou led him to one of the empty stalls in the back of the barn. It was dark and warm, and smelled like fresh straw. Lou smiled as Buck's strong arms wrapped around her again, and she thrilled at the passion in his kiss. After a moment, they embraced, and Lou found the pulse at Buck's throat. She kissed it, letting her lips linger there so she could feel the beat of his heart. It was racing. Hearing his ragged breathing, she smiled to herself, and let her hands moved over the muscles of his chest, down to his stomach. She knew he loved it when she touched him in this way. He groaned, and then picked her up to set her on a hay bale that had been placed in the stall. It was just tall enough that Lou could easily wrap her legs around Buck's waist. She arched her neck for his kisses, but stopped him when he moved to unbutton her shirt. Instead, she pulled it out of her pants, and he moved his hands underneath the fabric, pushing it up, along with her camisole, to reveal her breasts. He laid his cheek against her chest and sighed, finally stopping to catch his breath. Lou let her hands tangle in his hair as she pulled him closer. "You are so wonderful," he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion, "I can't believe you're really...." Buck stopped himself before finishing the sentence. Lou smiled, knowing what he had meant to say. She finished for him. "I'm yours Buck. I'm your woman." He moved to look at her, his eyes wide with surprise. He never thought he'd hear her say something like that. "Don't ever let me go," she told him, holding his gaze with her dark eyes. "I would die first." The look in his eyes was such that Lou felt tears well up in her own. Before she could say anything, he captured her mouth yet again, kissing her with an almost desperate intensity. She felt his hands cupping her breasts, kneading them until her nipples were very hard, and very sensitive. Now it was Lou's breathing that was ragged. Pushing her clothing out of the way, Buck moved so that he could take one nipple in his mouth. Lou pulled him closer, biting her lip to keep from making too much noise. His mouth felt so good, she thought she might explode. After a few moments he pulled her from the hay bale and stood her on her feet, his mouth still moving hungrily over her body. He pulled her to him, feeling like he couldn't get close enough. Lou could feel his erection against her stomach, and reached to untie his pants. Buck moved her hand away and quickly unfastened his pants himself, pushing them down far enough that he was no longer hindered by his clothing. "Touch me..." he breathed. He took hold of her hand, and pressed it against his member. Lou thought then that she liked this aggressiveness in Buck very much. It made her feel very desirable and feminine. She wrapped her small fingers around him and began to stroke slowly. Buck groaned, letting his own hands move down over Lou's hips. Then, as she continued to touch him, letting her hand move slowly to the base of his shaft and between his legs, she felt him unfasten her pants and slip his hand inside. Buck was lost. He had told himself that all he wanted was to have her to himself for a few minutes, to hold her and kiss her, but he couldn't stop now, even if he wanted to. The more he took from her, the more she gave in return. Instead of cooling his ardor, it only made the fire burn more brightly. He moved the fabric of her undergarments aside and touched her, thrilling when she moaned in response. She was wet and warm, just as he had imagined she would be, and as he moved his lips over the skin of her neck and throat, his fingers moved easily over the most sensitive part of her. Lou's hand fell away from him as she struggled to keep her balance in the face of all the sensations she was feeling. Buck held her, positioning her comfortably against the hay bale she had been sitting on. Lou moved against his hand, her moans of pleasure louder now. "Buck...please..." "Does it feel good?" he whispered to her, moving his other hand to cup her bottom. "Yes...I...I'm so close." "Cum for me...now." At his sensual command, Lou whimpered and let release take her over the edge. Buck stayed with her, still stroking her gently, as her body quivered against him. His jaw was set as he maintained control of his own need, but he knew that when it came, his own release would be that much more powerful. "Turn around," he told her. Lou's legs felt wobbly as she moved to turn her back to him. Buck sprinkled kisses on the back of her neck as he urged her legs apart with his thigh. He pushed her forward slightly and she felt his hard shaft against her bottom. "Yes..." she urged. "Louise? Are you in here?" The sound of the child's voice felt like a bucket of cold water in her face. Lou gasped in surprise and felt Buck move quickly away from her. He said something in Kiowa under his breath. It was obvious to Lou what he said, despite the fact that she didn't speak the language. "Yes honey. Just a minute." Lou was shocked that her voice sounded so normal. She quickly pulled up her pants and tucked in her shirt, hoping she didn't look too disheveled. With an apologetic glance at Buck, she ducked out of the stall, and came out of the shadows. "What are you doing?" Theresa asked, a concerned look on her face. "Nothing...Buck was just checking on one of the horses. He needed some help." "Is he alright?" "He's fine," Lou smiled, knowing that her answer was far from true. She could see Theresa trying to look around her to the back of the barn. "Let's go back in to supper," Lou suggested, putting an arm around her younger sister. With one more glance behind her, Lou headed back to the bunkhouse. "Isn't Jeremiah supposed to check the horses after dinner?" Lou and Theresa came back into the bunkhouse and Lou took her seat. Monique was busy telling a story about Ike and Buck when they were younger, so no one said anything to her at first. When five more minutes went by and Buck still had not returned to dinner, Teaspoon looked at Lou from his spot at the head of the table. "What happened to Buck?" Lou glanced up, hoping she didn't look nervous. "He's..." Before she could finish the sentence, the door opened, and Buck quickly took his seat. "I'm sure your supper is cold by now Buck," Emma observed. "It's fine...I'm sorry..." "What happened Buck? You busy practicing for the social next Saturday?" Cody asked from his seat on the other side of Lou. "There ain't a social next Saturday." Buck answered, confused. "I just figured you needed to practice dancin'." Cody winked at Jimmy and laughed heartily at his own joke. He stopped abruptly when Lou stomped her boot down as hard as she could on Cody's left foot. Luckily, none of the adults seemed to understand what Cody was talking about. The rest of the meal passed without incident. As soon as it was over, Buck once more headed outside. This time Ike followed him. *You alright?* Buck shook his head. "Yes, No. I have no idea anymore." Ike smiled. *Feeling a bit frustrated because you can't find any time alone with Lou?* Buck simply shook his head. *I may have a solution to that.* "What? You going to make the kids disappear?" *Nope. We're going on a picnic tomorrow. Mr. Jamison agreed to let me court Monique. * "You sure you want me along?" Ike nodded. *Monique mentioned that she likes spending time getting to know Louise. She thought it might be good for the two of you to get away from the kids for a bit also. Once we finish eating I thought that I'd take Monique for a walk. That would allow you and Lou some time alone for whatever.* He smiled. Buck smiled back. "Thanks," he said. "I never realized how difficult it was to have children around. I mean in the village it wasn't unusual for kids to be in the home when their parents were together. I guess things are a lot different here." Ike simply nodded as he turned to go back inside where Monique was talking to Lou. "I won't take 'no' for an answer," she told Lou after asking that she and Buck join them on the picnic. "I'm sure Father would appreciate it also since Ike asked him for permission to court me. He'll consider you and Buck as chaperones." Lou laughed quietly to herself. "I'm not sure how good of chaperones we'll make," she said. "We most likely need one ourselves." Monique's laughter filled the room. "How about we chaperone each other?" Lou smiled. "Sounds lovely." After a few seconds she added, "I'm really glad you came to town. It's wonderful having..." Monique placed her hand on Lou's. "I know exactly what you mean. It's been forever since I've been able to just sit and talk to another woman without worrying about the impression I'll leave." When Ike came back inside, Lou stood. "I think I'll go check on Buck," she said. Buck was standing at almost the same spot he'd been in earlier, talking softly to the new horse that was still in the corral. The animal was obviously quite comfortable with Buck now, and whinnied softly as Lou approached. She leaned against the fence, but kept a slight distance between them. "So I guess we're going on the picnic tomorrow?" "Yep." Lou bit her lower lip to keep from smiling. She felt sorry for Buck, but at the same time, she saw the humor in the situation. "Monique says her father will be more comfortable with the things if we chaperone them." Buck raised an eyebrow. "I'm not so sure it shouldn't be the other way around." Lou watched him for a moment, then put a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry about earlier." Buck shook his head, recalling the bizarre mix of emotions he felt at hearing Theresa's voice inside the barn. When he glanced at Lou and saw the look on her face, he scowled at her. "Don't laugh, Louise. It wasn't funny." "Once we're married, that's not going to go away." "I know. You realize they'll ask to go on the picnic tomorrow." Just then, Jeremiah approached. "Hey Buck, after I'm done with the rest of the horses, can me and Cody go down the swimming hole? It ain't gonna be dark for awhile�" Buck looked at Lou, taken aback that the boy was asking him for permission instead of Lou. Lou gave him an encouraging smile. "Sure. I think I might go with you.." With a big smile, the younger boy hurried into the barn to finish his evening chores. Buck watched him go and smiled. "I wasn't expecting that." "Well, maybe you can relax a bit now. Seems you've won him over." She leaned up and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Have fun swimming. Maybe it'll cool you off." Hearing Lou's remark, Buck turned quickly and made a grab for her, but she was already headed toward Emma's at a run. Emma, Teaspoon and Mr. Jamison were sitting on the front porch, chatting. "When we left St. Louis I said I was through with ranching, but I already miss it a bit." Monique's father was telling Teaspoon. "Well, that's a nice bit of land you got with that house. Maybe you could just do somethin' small, just to keep your hand in it." "I won't have time to oversee it properly, not if I'm going to get the shop in town up and running." Emma smiled. "Well, I'm thrilled we're gonna have an apothecary here in town. It'll save me from having to buy somethin' else from Mr. Tompkins. That man thinks he knows doctorin' as well as store keepin'," Emma complained. Lou smiled and sat on the steps, and just then Ike and Monique came out of the house. "Can we take a walk, Daddy?" Monique asked. Mr. Jamison nodded. "Not too far now. We're leaving in a minute." Ike signed to Lou, asking if she wanted to come, but she shook her head. She figured the new couple could use some time to themselves. "That sure is a nice house, Mr. Jamison," Lou commented. "Thank you, Louise. I suppose Monique is right. It's big for just the two of us, but such a nice setting. I don't know, I suppose all these things will work themselves out." "Speakin' of houses, Lou," Teaspoon winked at his smallest rider. "Where you and Buck planning on movin' to?" "I don't know, Teaspoon. I guess we've been occupied with other things. But, now that he's got another job...I don't even know where he's going to stay once he starts workin' with Sam." "Why right here of course," Emma sounded indignant that anyone could have thought otherwise. Teaspoon shrugged, obviously in agreement. "Really?" Lou's eyes sparkled. "He won't be workin' for the Express anymore..." "What difference does that make?" Teaspoon asked. "I still need the help around here." "Thank you. Teaspoon." Lou jumped up and walked over to give the stationmaster a tight hug. "But one thing I gotta say, once you're married, you're movin' out. I don't think the bunkhouse is the place for a married couple...'specially not one with two children!" "Louise!" Theresa's whine could be heard over the adults' laughter. Lou turned to see her sister approaching, obviously upset about something. "Jeremiah said I can't go swimming! He says only boys are allowed!" Well, Sugarbear, you've gotten to spend a lot of time with Buck by yourself. I think maybe Jeremiah is feeling a bit left out." "But..." Emma reached for the girl and pulled Theresa up on her lap. "Well I for one and glad those boys are gone. Gives us girls a chance to spend sometime together. Besides, after tomorrow I won't see you for awhile." Ike and Monique walked slowly away from the people on the porch. As they caught the last bit of the conversation about Buck getting to stay, Ike smiled. "What?" *I'm just glad to know Buck won't have to move right away; I know it's silly, but I already miss him. * Monique reached out and took Ike's hand and nodded. "It will be the first time in what? - five years? - that you haven't been together; I don't find it silly at all that you'd miss him." Ike squeezed her hand and smiled back. As they entered a small clump of trees, he stopped and pulled Monique until she was facing him. He then let go of her hand and asked, *Did you really mean what you wrote in that note?* Monique blushed as she thought about what she'd said. She nodded. "Every word," she whispered as she leaned forward and captured Ike's lips. Ike pulled her to him and deepened the kiss for a bit before breaking away. *I'm glad.* Monique smiled. "I couldn't believe how much I missed seeing you once you and Buck had left. I kept thinking about our kiss and how horrible Daddy's sense of timing is. While I was at school I kept wishing that you were at home waiting for me to come back. Finally I couldn't stand it any more and I just left. I told Daddy that we needed to come here to start his new business. I didn't tell him why; I just told him that if he didn't want to come, I'd come alone." She stopped and looked at the ground. "I couldn't stand being without you anymore. I hope..." Ike pulled her to him once more and covered her mouth with his own. He gently ran his tongue across her lips and was pleased when she opened them to allow his tongue inside. As he explored her mouth with his tongue, Monique allowed her hands to roam over his back and head. When Ike broke the kiss, she moved so that she was sitting on the moss covered ground pulling Ike down beside her. As he settled to the ground, she gently pushed him until he was lying on the ground, and then she began to place feather light kisses all over his face. When her lips once more found his, Ike wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He ran his hands down her back and then moved so that she was now under him on the ground. He pulled away and smiled. *You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, and I'd really love to spend more time with you like this, but...* "I know" she sighed. "We need to be getting back before Father comes looking." As Ike helped her to her feet she added, "Maybe tomorrow we can pick up where we left off." She smiled wickedly, "Like I said in my note - I want to be with you in every sense of the word." As they walked toward the house, talking about their plans for the next day, Monique stopped Ike before they came within earshot of the others, who still sat on the porch talking. "Ike...there's something I want to tell you." Ike turned to Monique and smiled. Now that he was with her again, he realized how much he had missed her while they were apart. "I meant everything I said in that note, and just now...but, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me," the girl blushed slightly, and looked down at her feet, for once searching for the right words. "I've never...I mean, there's never been anyone...else." Ike smiled slowly, touched by her need to be so honest with him. He touched her face lightly, so that she would look at him again and he could answer her. *You never had any beaus at school?* he asked with a wink. Monique shook her head, "Not really. There were boys that were interested I suppose, but...I wasn't interested in them." *Why not?* "They didn't like to ride horses like I did. They were all so interested in things that I thought were ridiculous." She looked at Ike then, her clear blue eyes holding his gaze. "They weren't you." Now Ike blushed. He looked back at Monique, who somehow, was both a beautiful woman and yet, still the girl he had known as a friend, and had begun to care for. He smiled at her. *Thank you.* He took her hand and they once more made their way to where the others were sitting. As they entered the yard, the boys returned from the swimming hole. "You need to teach me that trick," Jeremiah was saying to Buck. "It was neat the way you made Cody disappear like that." "I'm not sure Cody agrees." Cody laughed. "I'm fine. Just wait until the next time we go. I'll show you a trick or two." Lou stood and took Theresa from Emma's lap. "I think it's time to get ready for bed," she said. As they moved towards the house, she turned to Jeremiah. "That goes for you too, young man." Jeremiah groaned. "Aw, Louise." He turned to Buck. "Can't you get her to let me stay up longer?" Buck grinned and shook his head. "No way," he said. "I know better than to disagree with her." Jeremiah nodded. "I guess you're right. She gets as mad at you as she does us." He quickly told the adults good night and headed over to the bunkhouse. "I'll be over to tuck you in shortly," Lou said. "Shucks, Louise. I ain't no baby. You don't need to come check on me. Besides, Buck will be there." Lou smiled at Buck as she opened the door. Theresa pulled away from her and ran to where Buck stood talking to Cody about the swimming. She quickly hugged him. "Good night, Buck. I love you." Just as quickly she was gone. "Two-timing Lou already," Cody said with a grin, "and with her sister no less." He laughed as he followed after Jeremiah into the bunkhouse. Buck laughed. As he turned to follow after Cody, Mr. Jamison called him over. "We were just discussing where you were going to live once you stop working for the Express." Buck sat on the steps at Emma's feet. "I hadn't thought about that," he said. "I guess I just figured I'd stay here, or at the jail in town." Emma repeated, "Of course you'll stay here." Mr. Jamison said. "I don't want to cause any trouble, but I was thinking..." "Thinking what, Daddy?" Monique asked as she and Ike joined the group. She smiled at the others. "I always worry when he starts a sentence that way. The last one I remember went something like - 'Monique, darling, I've been thinking. It's about time for you to learn how to behave like a proper young lady. I've made arrangements..." Her father laughed and cut in, "It's not anything like that at all. In fact, I think you'll like this idea a lot." "Well?" "I was just saying how much I missed ranching, but that I really wouldn't have time to do anything for a while what with starting the new business and all. As we were discussing Buck's dilemma, I remembered how good he and Ike were with the horses back home. It occurred to me that he and Louise could stay in our house for a while until I get the business up and running. There are a couple of rooms at the back of the store that would work for Monique and me." Buck started to object, but Mr. Jamison raised his hand. "Hear me out," he said. "I'd be expecting the two of you to do the majority of the repair work needed as well as watch after a few horses. In exchange for getting the house ready for Monique and myself and tending the stock you'd get to stay there free of charge. Once Monique and I are ready to move, you and Louise could build yourself a home of the other side of the property. Well?" Buck just looked at the man, speechless. Finally he said, "I'll have to talk it over with Louise first, but I think it could work." "Good," said Mr. Jamison. "I'll feel much better about not moving out there if I know it's in good hands." "Oh, Daddy, it will be. You should have heard the ideas Louise had for fixing it up!" She hugged him tightly. "You are the most wonderful father a girl could have." Louise had finished tucking Theresa in bed, and was coming back outside when Buck met her at the bottom of the stairs. He was grinning broadly at her, and before she had a chance to ask what had put the smile on his face, he picked her up and swung her around, letting out a whoop of excitement. It was probably the most animated Lou had ever seen him. "What is it?" she asked with a smile. "I love you," Buck told her, wrapping her up in a tight hug. He was so happy he thought he would burst. "I love you too," she laughed. "What's going on?" Lou could tell by the look in his eye that something was up. "Come sit with me," Buck said, leading her toward the parlor. "Why do I have to sit? Can't you just tell me what it is?" "No. You'll want to sit down for this." Sitting in Emma's parlor, Buck told Louise about Mr. Jamison's proposition. She was dumbfounded. "Free of charge? He actually said that?" Buck nodded. "We'd move out eventually but... think of the money we'd save Lou! And we could build our own place on the land..." "But you'll be working full time for Sam, and we have the kids. How are you going to do this to?" "I know it's a lot to take on at once. It'll be a lot for both of us. I might not be able to help with the kids much but...I know we can do it. We'll never get a chance like this again Lou. What do you think?" Lou was silent for a moment. Buck was right. It would be a lot of work, especially at the beginning of their marriage, but hearing the excitement in Buck's voice, she knew it was something he wanted to do, and a great opportunity for them. "You really trust Mr. Jamison to stand by his word?" "He was always a fair man. He never treated me or Ike any different than anybody else." "Then let's do it." She smiled. Again, Buck let out an excited yell, hugging her tightly. "Hush..." Lou cautioned, as she hugged him back, but it was too late. "What's the matter?" Came a sleepy voice from the doorway. Buck stood up, and picked Theresa up in his arms. "Nothing little one. We're just happy." Theresa smiled. "About what?" "We found a place to live. So when you and Jeremiah come back in a few weeks, we'll have a house." "Where?" she asked, as Buck carried her back up the stairs. "Mr. Jamison is going to let us stay in his house for awhile. He's going to stay in town for a few months to open his store. "The house me and Lou saw today?" The little girl's eyes were wide with awe. "That's the one." "It's so big..." "We'll have a lot of work to do, but I think it will be fun," Buck told her. As he tucked her back in bed, Theresa studied Buck with her big blue eyes. They were a different color, but somehow they reminded Buck of her older sister. "So we're really going to be a family?" she asked him seriously. Feeling a lump in his throat, Buck had to wait a moment before answering "Yes Theresa, we are." She reached up to hug him, and Buck kissed the girl on the forehead before getting up to leave. "Good night, little one. Sweet dreams." Chapter Thirty-four Buck made his way back to the parlor where Lou sat quietly thinking. When he entered the room, she stood and made her way to the door. "You'd better talk to Sam about exactly what it is he expects of you," she said, "before you accept Mr. Jamison's offer. I don't think Sam will mind, but still..." Buck nodded. "I guess you're right. I wouldn't want to let him down; he is taking a big chance hiring me." He smiled. "I'll go see him in the morning when I run into Tompkins to pick up supplies." With that he pulled Lou to him and gave her a tender kiss. "You'd better get to bed before I can't stand being around you and not being with you," he said as he made his way across the room. Lou smiled. "I can't wait until tomorrow afternoon," she said. "I think we'll definitely have to find a reason to go for a walk...or something." Buck laughed as he left the room and went back to the porch where Mr. Jamison and Monique were waiting. He explained the situation and promised to let them know first thing in the morning. "We can meet at that store you took me to when we first came into town," Monique said. "I need to purchase a few things for our outing tomorrow." Buck nodded and bid them good night. After checking on Jeremiah he readied himself for bed, and thanked which ever gods he could think of for the good fortune he was experiencing in his life. Maybe this is why things were so hard before, he thought as he drifted off to sleep. Early the next morning, Buck awoke with a start. He was breathing heavily and felt as if he needed to be sure everyone was safe. After glancing around the room and assuring himself that all was well, he quietly got out of bed and made his way over to Emma's. This time he let himself in so as not to disturb anyone who may still be sleeping. He found Emma in the kitchen preparing breakfast. "You alright?" she asked as she handed him a cup of coffee. Buck nodded. "Just needed to be sure everyone was safe," he said. "Woke up feeling like something was wrong. I guess I'm just not used to so many good things happening at once." He sat at the table and quietly drank his coffee. Emma watched him a bit before saying. "I'm sure Sam won't mind if you stay out this way instead of in town," she said. "I know you're a bit worried about that; maybe that's what's causing your unease." Buck simply nodded. "I think I'll go talk to him now," he said. "The sooner I get that taken care of the better it will be." Emma nodded. "Don't take too long or you'll miss breakfast," she said as Buck left the room. Buck rode slowly into town. Thinking again how lucky he was and hoping that nothing changed anytime soon. He watched the world awaken around him as he rode. He met Sam as he was leaving the office to get some food. "I need to talk to you," Buck said. "Don't tell me you changed your mind already?" Buck shook his head. "No, Sir. I still want to work for you; it's just that I need to know exactly what it is I'm supposed to do. I've had an offer for another job that would give me a place to stay, and I just wanted to make sure that you weren't expecting me to be in town every night." Sam smiled. "Mr. Jamison came by last night and talked to me. I think it's a great plan as long as you don't think it will be too much work." Buck let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "I don't think it will be a problem," he said. "Mr. Jamison said he wasn't expecting to have too many horses to start, and Jeremiah is a natural when it comes to tending them. I'm sure he'll be a big help to Lou when I'm not there." Sam nodded. "I would want you to stay in town at least once a week during the evening so I can get away a bit. Other days I figured you'd leave the office in time to be home for supper." Buck smiled. "That's great." He shook Sam's hand and headed over to Tompkins' store to pick up a few supplies for Emma and a little something special for Lou. When he entered the store, he saw Monique looking at the bandanas while Mr. Jamison talked to Tompkins. He could hear bits and pieces of their conversation - just enough to know that Tompkins was trying to impress Mr. Jamison. Must have learned how much money they have, he thought as he made his way over to Monique. He smiled as he approached her. "Good Morning," he said. "You looking for anything in particular. Perhaps I can..." "What do you think you're doing?" Buck turned to face Tompkins. "I..." "I've told you before I don't like having you in here, but I've put up with it because Teaspoon says I have to. I don't have to allow you to harass my other customers; just get your things and leave the lady alone." Buck glanced at Monique and shook his head as she started towards Tompkins. "Don't," he whispered as he moved to where Tompkins kept his supply of female items. As he passed by, Monique stopped him. "I do need your help," she said, loudly enough for Tompkins to hear. When Buck stopped, Tompkins started to move from behind the counter. He looked at Mr. Jamison. "I'll take care of this," he said. Mr. Jamison placed his hand on Tompkins arm. "There's nothing to take care of," he said calmly. "My daughter is trying to pick out a present for her suitor. It makes perfect sense for her to ask for assistance from Mr. Cross since he's the lad's best friend." Tompkins turned to stare at Mr. Jamison - completely taken aback by what he'd just heard. "You mean you're letting that bald freak..." Mr. Jamison cut him off. "I'll thank you not to talk about my future son-in-law with that tone of voice," he said. "If he and Mr. Cross here aren't good enough to do their shopping in your establishment, perhaps Monique and I should take our business elsewhere. I've had the pleasure of knowing both young men for a few years now, and I've never been disappointed with anything they've done." He moved away from Tompkins to where Buck and Monique stood. "Come, Monique. It's obvious that this isn't the kind of establishment where we want to do any business." As they started to leave, Tompkins spoke up. "I'm sorry if I offended you," he said. "Please, stay." Mr. Jamison turned to face him. "It's not us you should be apologizing too." He glanced to where Buck stood feeling a bit uncomfortable, but also tickled to death that Tompkins was finally getting a taste of his own medicine. Tompkins looked at Buck a few seconds before saying. "I'm sorry if I offended you. Please, take your time shopping." Buck nodded at the man. "Thank you," he said. He then picked up a blue cotton bandana. "I think he'd really like this one; I've seen him looking at it more than once." Monique took the cloth. "Thank you." Buck once more made his way to where the special items for ladies were displayed. He looked through them carefully before finding just the one he was looking for. When he took it to the counter to pay, Tompkins didn't make any snide remarks; he simply rang it up and took Buck's money. As Buck held the door for Monique to exit, Mr. Jamison turned to the storekeeper once more. "0ne thing I failed to mention Mr. Tompkins. I've decided to use the land I purchased to start a ranch. I'll be needing lots of supplies. I hope that won't be a problem." "No sir, Mr. Jamison," Tompkins smiled. "I'm sure I can provide you with whatever you might need." Mr. Jamison smiled as well. "I've asked Mr. Cross to be my foreman. If he takes me up on the offer, you'll be seeing a lot more of him. I expect you to give him the same courtesy you would afford me." Tompkins was silent for a moment, as Jamison's statement sank in. "Y...Yes sir. You can count on that." "That's what I like to hear. Good day, Mr. Tompkins." Monique and her father walked out of the store, and Buck stood in the doorway for a moment. When Tompkins looked at him, Buck smiled slowly and tipped his hat. "See you around, Tompkins." Chapter Thirty-five It was a warm, beautiful afternoon. As Buck sat, cross-legged on the picnic blanket, watching Lou talk excitedly with Monique and seeing the smile on his best friend's face, he thought to himself that life couldn't possibly get any better. "And I think that once all that is done, we can concentrate turning that spot on the east side of the house into a garden. Don't you think Buck?" Lou smiled at her fianc�. He was smiling back at her, but hadn't heard a word she had said. "Buck? Are you listening?" "Huh?" *I thought you weren't supposed to start ignoring her until after the wedding* Ike joked. "Sorry," Buck blushed. "I was just thinking about something else." "Well," Monique smiled. "I'm thrilled that you accepted Daddy's offer, but I hope it won't be too much work for you, since you're starting a new job anyway." "I think we'll be fine. Besides, I know a few people that owe me a few weeks of chores. I think I can call on them to help." Lou nodded. "That's true. And if anybody can handle all of this, it's Buck. He's amazing." "Thank you, Miss McCloud." Buck leaned over to Lou and she rewarded him with a kiss. *You're not setting a very good example.* Ike scowled. "What's wrong?" Monique sat comfortably next to Ike, who had his arm around her. *They're supposed to be our chaperones.* "We're engaged. I think a kiss is allowed now and then," Buck told him. "That's something else we need to talk about Louise. You need to start planning your wedding." Lou looked at Monique and giggled, toying with the skirt of her dress. "My goodness, so many other things have been going on, I haven't even thought about that. I guess your right." "We could just get married up in St. Jo," Buck suggested. The slap on the arm he received from Lou told him she didn't like the idea. "I'm not gonna run off and get married. I want all our friends to be there." "Well then let's set a date. Once the kids are gone for awhile, I don't think I can handle living at the station with you for very long." *He's right, Lou. Something tells me Emma will have you staying in the main house with her now* "You think so?" Lou asked, looking back and forth from Ike to Buck. *I wouldn't doubt it,* Ike raised an eyebrow at her. "I guess you're right," Lou conceded. "I don't suppose it would be very proper for me and Buck to stay in the bunkhouse together." "Well, before you know it, you'll be keeping your own house." Monique smiled. "I envy you." Lou smiled. "It's so big, I hope I can do it all by myself. I won't have anybody to help with chores anymore." "Well, I've never even seen this big house. How many rooms does it have?" Buck asked. "It's just right over that hill a ways. Why don't you show him, Louise?" Lou smiled at Buck, a twinkle in her eye. "I think that's a fine idea." She stood and took a few steps in the direction of the house. "You coming Buck?" He smiled and stood, taking the hand that Lou offered him. "We won't be gone long. Stay out of trouble." Monique watched them leave and then turned to face Ike. "I'm so glad they agreed to assist Daddy with this newest endeavor. It's going to make giving them the house so much easier." *What?* "Oh," Monique smiled, "the other day when Lou was describing what she'd do with the house if it was hers, I realized that it would be perfect for them. It's large enough that each of the children could have their own room and there's still more space for them to add to the family. It's way too big for Daddy to tend on his own, and I'm hoping that I won't be living with him the rest of my life." She blushed and looked away. "So, I thought once they got it all fixed up I could convince Daddy to let them keep that one and we could build a smaller one on the other side of the property." *We who?* Monique smiled and leaned into Ike. "Me and you," she said as she quickly kissed him. Ike pulled her to him and deepened the kiss. He could feel her heart beating as he hugged her to him. He gently ran his tongue across her lips and was pleased to feel her lips part and her tongue move next to his. As her tongue entered his mouth, Ike felt himself wanting so much more. He allowed the kiss to continue for a bit, and then he moved his mouth so he could trail kisses down Monique's neck. As he made his way to the top of her blouse, he was pleasantly surprised to find her hands busily undoing the buttons that kept her from him. When Monique finished with the buttons on her blouse, she turned her attention to the buttons on Ike's shirt. After a couple, he stopped her so he could once more place his lips on her neckline and begin to trail kisses down it and onto her breast. Here he carefully took her into his mouth and began to suckle. Monique lay back onto the blanket with a soft moan as the sensation of Ike's tongue and lips flowed through her. She placed her hands on his head and pulled him closer. Ike sucked a bit harder and even gently nipped the hardened nub of her nipple before moving to attend to the other breast. Monique whispered softly, "I've wanted this to happen for so long; it's even better than I dreamed it would be." She sat up causing the contact between them to break and moved so she could once more kiss Ike. This time she broke the kiss and began to trail feather light touches of her lips down his neck as she finished unbuttoning his shirt. When she reached his chest, she nipped playfully at his nipples. Ike smiled and reached so he could touch her while she worked. He gently massaged her breasts while she continued to lick and nibble on his chest. He then took her nipples in each hand and pinched them until they were hard little nubs. The sensation overwhelmed her and she pulled away. Ike looked at her in alarm. * I didn't hurt you, did I?* Monique shook her head as tears of joy started to fall. "I just never thought I'd be doing this. It's been a dream for so long." Ike pulled her to him and they both lay back onto the blanket happy just to be in contact with each other while enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun on their bodies. They held each other, both silent in the moment. Then Ike touched her face, so that she would open her eyes. He smiled his enigmatic smile, the one that she had never forgotten. *I still can't believe that a girl like you would come all this way...for me* Monique's brow furrowed, "A girl like me? You make it sound like we don't know each other. I'm still Monkey. I've just grown up." Ike let his eyes travel over her, taking in her pale skin and bare breasts. He kissed her softly, and then reached to close her blouse. Monique looked at him, a bit confused. "Did I do something wrong?" Her big eyes looked very innocent and blue. "Don't you want me?" Ike shook his head and pulled her close, running his fingers through her hair. Then he pulled back to look at her. *Yes...I do, more than you know. But I think we should take things slowly.* "Louise told me yesterday not to rush things. I guess I'm just so happy to be with you..." Ike drew her hand to his lips and kissed it. *You've made me feel like the luckiest man in the world. I want to prove to you and your father that I'm worthy of you* "I think you just proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt." Monique put her arms around Ike and hugged him tightly; feeling like her dreams had come true. Buck and Lou walked over the hill hand in hand. They were in no hurry today, glad to be away from the station and really have some time to themselves. "Don't you think it's a little soon?" Lou asked out of the blue. "Soon for what?" "For Ike to be courting her? She hasn't even been here a week!" Buck arched an eyebrow at her. "I thought you liked Monk...Monique." "I do. I really do, but she seems infatuated with him and inexperienced." "Now you sound like Emma." "I'm serious, Buck. I don't want to see either of them get their heart broken." "What about us?" Lou looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" "Well, I think it was less than a week between the time I first told you I loved you, and the night I asked you to marry me." "That's different." Lou declared. "How?" Buck asked, trying not to smile at her. "Because we've known each other for...for a long time. We've gone though a lot together." "So you don't think we moved too fast?" "No...do you?" Lou's brown eyes looked a bit worried as Buck turned to face her. "I only wish I'd had the courage to tell you sooner." he said, tracing the line of her jaw with his fingertip. "Don't worry about them Lou. They've known each other a long time too. I think their going to make up for that lost time pretty quickly." "It's good to know that Ike is happy." Lou smiled. Just then the house came into view. "Is that it?" Buck asked. "It looks big." "Come on!" Lou smiled, and holding up her skirt, broke into a run. Both ran within about 100 feet of the house, and they stopped to catch their breath. They walked around the perimeter of the house first, and Lou pointed out the spot that she thought would be suitable for a garden. Buck agreed with her that the place needed a coat of paint and he could see that there were some shutters and part of the porch railing that needed repair. Lou noticed the barn and a small stable that she hadn't seen before. Buck declared that if Mr. Jamison wanted to start a horse ranch, both buildings would have to be torn down and rebuilt. Lou led him inside taking him from room to room. The kitchen was bigger then the one at Emma's house, as was the parlor. There was one room downstairs that could be used as a guest room, and there were four bedrooms upstairs, three large and one small. The pair walked downstairs again and stopped in the front room. "Well, what do you think?" Lou asked. Buck looked around again, running a hand through his long hair. "I hope I don't wake up," he chuckled. "What?" Lou laughed softly, wondering what he meant. "I can't believe we get to live here. For free!" "It's going to be a lot of work, Buck," she reminded him. "It's really not that much. If I can get the others to help, we'll be done in no time." Lou took a step closer, and took his hands in hers. "So you like it?" Buck picked her up in a bear hug and Lou squealed as he squeezed her tightly. "I love it! Almost as much as I love you..." "I love you more," she whispered, brushing her lips against his for a kiss. Buck set her on her feet then, and still holding her close, he looked at her for a long moment. "Thank you," he finally said. "What for?" Lou asked. "For loving me. When I told you how I felt, I did it because I had to. I couldn't hold it in anymore, and I just hoped that it wouldn't ruin our friendship. If it had, I told myself that after that run, I'd leave the Express and maybe go back to the Kiowa. I never thought you'd...that you'd want me too." "Buck..." Louise started to interrupt, but Buck stopped her. "Now I can't even think about my life without you. You've given me so much more than I ever...ever thought I could have..." Buck took a breath then, trying to maintain control of his emotions. "I know you don't like to admit it but, you have to face the fact that being married to me won't always be easy." "Life isn't easy, Buck." Lou told him, recalling her conversation with Jimmy the day that everyone else found out that she and Buck were a couple. "No, it isn't, and being married to a half-blood will only make it harder." Buck put a finger to her lips when she started to speak again. "I want you to know that I'll work every day to make a good life for us. For you and the kids. I'll make you happy, Louise. I promise." Lou looked into Buck's eyes and saw all the love that he felt for her. She swallowed the lump in her throat, and blinked back tears. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand. "Buck," she smiled at him, feeling one tear escape as she blinked back the rest. "I wish you could see yourself the way I do." Buck looked away from her, down at his feet, as he often did when he was feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable. Lou waited until he looked at her again, then continued. "The reason we have all of this is because of you. Not me." "Louise..." he pulled away slightly but Lou wouldn't let him go. "It's true," she persisted. "You were brave enough to tell me how you felt..." "I wasn't brave. I was desperate," he smiled weakly remembering the utter terror he felt the moment he told Lou that she was the subject of his dreams. "So? You could have lied to me but you didn't. You risked your heart for me. If you hadn't spoken up where do you think we'd be right now?" "I don't like to think about that," he told her quietly. "I don't either," she told him. Then she kissed him tenderly, brushing his hair back from his face. "You got your new job, and all of this," she paused to look around the room, "because of the relationships you have with Sam and Mr. Jamison. I should be thanking you." "Don't Lou..." Buck was obviously uncomfortable with her praise. "Why do you do that?" she asked him, seeing his discomfort. "For the same reason that you don't think you're pretty enough," he told her honestly. Lou lowered her hands, a bit taken aback by his comment. "I'm sorry..." he said immediately, when her body language changed. "You're right..." she told him, her gaze lowering for a moment. "Guess I hadn't thought of it like that before." "No matter what happens, Louise, now I know what it feels like to be loved...completely. If we have fifty years together, or only five, I will love you with all my heart until I die. There won't be anyone else for me." Lou's tears came freely now, although she didn't cry. "My ma told me once that when you fall in love, it shouldn't be hard, or painful. It should be the easiest thing in the world. She said when things are meant to be, they just happen. That's how I knew we were meant to be together - because it felt so right." Buck smiled at her and she reached up to pull him close. "It doesn't matter what other people think, Buck. We have each other, and we got friends that love us. There ain't nothin' more important than that." Buck hugged Lou to him for a bit and then suddenly let her go. "I almost forgot," he said as the turned away from her reaching into his pocket. "What?" Lou asked concern quickly filling her voice. "Is something wrong?" Buck shook his head. "No," he said as he turned back to face her. "I..." he stopped speaking and looked around the house. He then smiled even broader as he picked Lou up and carried her back up the stairs to the largest bed room. There was a small couch over in the corner - forgotten or unneeded by the previous owners. Buck sat Lou down on it and knelt before her. He then opened his hand to reveal a delicate golden band. "I was hoping you'd wear this," he said. "I'd like to make our engagement official." Lou stared at the ring and then looked at Buck. She was so surprised that at first she couldn't think of what to say. When she didn't speak, Buck began to feel a little nervous. "Of course if you'd rather..." He was cut off as Lou captured his mouth with her own. She kissed him long and hard before letting him go. "I'd be honored to make it official," she said as she took the ring and slipped it onto her finger. Buck smiled. "I'm supposed to do that," he said softly. He took her hand in his, and removed the ring from her finger. He kissed her hand, then slipped the ring back on. It was a nearly perfect fit. Chapter Thirty-six Lou was smiling broadly, and cradling Buck's face in her hands, she kissed him again. Buck wrapped his arms around her and eased her back against the couch, his lips never leaving hers. Lou wasn't sure how long the kiss had gone on, but when she felt the weight of Buck's body move on top of her, she broke their contact. "I think there's something I need to take care of," she said with a mischievous grin. "What?" Buck could feel his body responding to her, just as it always did. Lou moved to reverse their positions, pushing Buck down onto the couch as she knelt in front of him. He sighed as she moved up between his legs, until her body was on top of his. She captured his mouth for another kiss, her tongue exploring his eager mouth. At the same time she moved to untie his pants and slip her hand beneath the waistband of his long johns. She ended the kiss, and made quick work of removing most of Buck's clothes. He lay quietly beneath her, his dark eyes watching her under hooded lids. He wondered how he could feel sleepy and aroused all at the same time. As Lou unbuttoned Buck's shirt, letting her fingers move over the smooth, well-muscled skin of his torso, she marveled at the sight before her. If there was ever a man that deserved to be called beautiful, Buck was that man. His body was amazing. Lou recalled then, that there was a time not long ago, when the idea of making love to anyone had frightened her. Now, she couldn't imagine a life without it - without Buck. Somehow, they had cut through each others defenses, and discovered an intimacy that they never dreamed possible. Kneeling between his legs again, Lou glanced up, and noticed that Buck seemed to be about to go to sleep. "You're not falling asleep on me are you?" she smiled. "No ma'am. Just watching the woman I love." Lou held his gaze, as she took his member in her hand, and very slowly, ran her tongue from the base to the tip, then took him into her mouth. Buck caught his breath at the first touch of her tongue, and let out a sigh as she took all of him in. Lou moved her mouth slowly over him, knowing that the sensation was giving him great pleasure. She massaged his sac with her hand, and then moved to bathe it with her tongue, taking it into her mouth to gently suck. Buck moaned, his hips moving restlessly underneath her. After the events of the day before, when he was left wanting, Lou decided to make sure that he was satisfied. She knew that he wouldn't last long, but that was alright with her. For once it was safe to assume that no one was going to miss them for awhile. She continued her ministrations, running her hands up and down Buck's thighs as she slowly drove him mad with her mouth. He was very hard now, and his breath came in shallow gasps. Lou kissed the tip of his member and circled the head with her tongue. "Lou..." the hoarse whisper belied Buck's need, and Lou took him all the way inside again, moving in a rhythm that quickly brought him to the climax he'd been craving for the past 24 hours. His body jerked as he came, in a release that left him gasping for breath. Lou stayed with him, and after he quieted, she moved up again, and laid her hand on his chest. He shivered his body too sensitive to touch. His eyes were closed, and for a moment Lou wondered if he really had fallen asleep. "You are so good to me," he told her, with a lazy smile. Buck lay back on the couch completely and pulled Lou up to lay on top of him. She rested her head on his chest and listened to the sound of his heart, which was still beating rather fast. "Does that make up for the fact that I can't cook?" she asked, somewhat seriously. "Honey, as far as I'm concerned, you don't have to cook a day in your life. I could live just fine on this right here." Lou giggled, "What about the kids?" "Them, you'll have to cook for. Don't worry about me though, I'll be fine." Lou leaned up to kiss Buck, and let her lips linger on his. When she pulled back, she had a twinkle in her eye. "Thank you for my ring. It's beautiful." "You're welcome. I'm honored that you'll wear it." "I have a surprise for you too." "Is that so?" Buck arched an eyebrow at her. Lou nodded, "I hope you like it." Buck sat up a bit and looked at her. "What is it?" Slowly, Lou reached down and began to unbutton the front of her dress. She sat up and unfastened the buttons down to her waist, slowly pulling the dress off of her shoulders, to reveal a lacy corset. It was white and strapless, with a light blue ribbon that laced up the front. The top of the bodice was edged in lace, and rather low cut. The garment fit her small frame like a glove. Buck stared at her, speechless. Lou sat for a moment, trying to gage Buck's reaction. She'd never worn anything like this before, and suddenly feeling embarrassed, she glanced away. "I bought it in St. Jo...I thought...since I'm gonna be wearing dresses most of the time after we're married, I'd better get used to wearing one of these." Slowly, Buck reached out and took the end of the blue ribbon between his thumb and forefinger. He seemed almost reluctant to touch it. "Do you like it?" Lou asked, still feeling unsure of herself. He moved to trail his fingers over the bare skin just above her breasts and Lou shivered. "May I see the rest?" he asked in a voice just above a whisper. Lou smiled a bit shyly, and moved to stand next to him. Pushing her dress down further, she let it fall to the floor. The corset ended just at the flare of her hips, with lace edging around the bottom to match that at the top. Underneath was a high cut undergarment, made of a fabric more delicate than any Buck had ever seen. He let his gaze travel down Lou's legs, to the bone colored boots she had worn today. Instead of taking away from the effect of what she was wearing, something about them only added to the picture. She was perfect, and she was his. Lou could see in his eyes that he liked what he saw, and his growing arousal spoke for him as well. Still, she wanted him to say something. "You're making me nervous," she told him. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You take my breath away...." Buck stood up, and the shirt that still hung on his shoulders fell to the floor, so that he was completely naked. He took Lou in his arms and kissed her, deeply. She felt the heat of his kiss, his tongue caressing hers, and moaned softly when his hands moved down her back to cup her bottom and squeeze. Their kiss continued, until Buck moved his lips down the column of her neck. Lou let her fingers tangle in his hair, catching her breath as his nipped lightly at the curve of her shoulder. His hands still caressing her hips through the sheer fabric of her pantalets, he pulled her tight against him and let her feel his desire. "God it feels good to be with you like this..." she whispered breathlessly, letting her lips brush against the sensitive skin behind his ear. "I want you so much..." Buck told her, and covered her lips with his before she could reply. Reaching under the corset, he found the top of the pantalets, and pushed them down off of her hips, then slowly down her thighs and her calves, his hands never leaving her body. When he was kneeling in front of her on the floor, she lifted one foot, then the other so that he could carefully remove the small garment. When he laid it aside very carefully, she smiled; satisfied that he definitely liked her surprise. Now she looked down at him and waited for him to stand up. He didn't. Instead, Buck let his fingers trail a path up the back of her legs, smiling when she giggled as he touched her behind each knee. His hands came to rest on the backs of her thighs. He pulled gently and she moved to stand with her feet wider apart, as his fingers massaged her smooth skin. Then, he leaned up and put his mouth on her. Lou gasped in surprise, and Buck tightened his hold so that she couldn't move away. As he moved against her, Lou reached down to rest her hands on his shoulders. His mouth felt wonderful, and after a moment, she relaxed against him, sighing as he continued this tender assault. In the back of her mind, Lou wondered how she was still standing up,